Today, a look at an appalling apologia for domestic violence and abuse from everyone’s least favorite creepy expat, the anonymous “game” blogger behind Random Xpat Rantings. Oh, and he also offers a handy rationalization for child abuse as well.
Xsplat, is, by his own description, an expat in his late 40s living in Indonesia and “dating” a teenager considerably less than half his age. Well, not just dating: apparently he feels that he “owns” her.
He starts off his post by arguing that parents have the right to spank their children because the children are, in essence, their property:
Society as a whole remains agnostic as to the value of judiciously spanking recalcitrant children. We remain agnostic because at a fundamental level we realize that the parents have the right to choose. Their children are THEIR children. They literally belong to them.
He then extends this metaphor to relationships between adult men and women in perhaps the creepiest way possible:
Much of sexual love is an add on and re-working of mammalian Daddy/daughter love, and also mother/son love. Men who want to retain sexual tension in the long term must keep the relationship as Daddy/daughter.
You have a right to punish, if she accepts that you have the right to punish.
Xsplat thinks that women find his “pimp hand” sexy:
Laying ownership claims is brute force sexy. Women at a fundamental level understand that while they will always struggle to be a free agent, that when properly owned she can be an entirely different king of person. A deeply sexually charged, constantly submissive and sexually engaged, better woman. A woman with direction.
He argues that women need this sort of “discipline” — which, he makes clear, can involve physical violence — because they are essentially children.
Children and women need boundaries. They will test and act out to the limit of those boundaries. Some children respond well to a gentle word. Some wind up in juvie despite every best effort. Some pimps and parents reward and discipline purely psychologically, while others get physical. Some children learn and behave well under gentle conditions of subtle hints and direction, others have stubborn negative habits that require more forceful re-direction.
A woman who is owned is a very different creature from one who considers herself a strong independent woman.
An owned woman will give you her all, just for the opportunity to remain owned.
He ends his post by boasting about how he applied his “pimp hand” to “N18” – that is, his 18-year-old girlfriend – when she “acted out” at a night club because, he says, she was jealous of the attention he was paying to another woman.
I’m in Bali now with N18, a 32 year old ex who I met when she was 23 … and a potential new intern/partner. We were out clubbing and N18 started to get jealous of the attention that the older woman was getting. … So she started to act out a bit and attention whore on the stage and the dance floor. I’d had a lot to drink, and so by the time we got home my emotions were unrestrained. I called her out on her behaviour, and was not gentle.
In his mind, this assertion of his “ownership” of her only brought the two closer together:
As usual I was awoken with blowjobs and the day was filled with constant attentive behavior. Plus. This is not a reaction out of fear, it is a pure bonding reaction.
That’s what he wants us to think, anyway.
Or maybe he’s trying to convince himself that he’s not, you know, an angry, jealous asshole living in a country with a per capita income less than one-fifth that of the US who’s using his money to exploit and possibly abuse a teenager who wouldn’t give him the time of day if she weren’t poor and he weren’t, at least relatively, rich.
Xsplat is not the most influential manosphere blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s enough of a celebrity in that little world that he had his own “Ask Me Anything” thread on Reddit’s Red Pill subreddit last year.
More brain bleach: An accurate portrayal of life with a Siamese!
The meaning of paedophilia came up because the word was being misused as most people don’t actually know what paedophilia is. I stated preeeeeeeetty explicitly that the fact these people seem to be in favour of kiddyfucking is made no less bad by the fact they don’t appear to be referring to prepubescent or pubescent kids. We’re talking about child sex abuse regardless. I said that really, REALLY clearly.
So, yeah, even the teensiest side-eyeing implication I may have suggested “it’s not as bad because they’re older” is seriously fucked up misrepresentation.
It’s not a matter of drunk posting. It’s a matter of calling things by their right names. That’s how we maintain credibility. It’s simply incorrect that all child sex abuse is paedophilia. Lots of people who engage in paedophilic acts aren’t even paedophiles.
Paedophilia is an exclusive medical term. It’s a pschiatric disorder. Using it in an ethical or legal context doesn’t make sense unless you think it means child rapist. It doesn’t. What we’re talking about here is child sex abuse which refers to a great deal more than paedophilia does. A sexual abuser of children can harm kids of any age. A paedophile stops at puberty and may never act on their impulses and harm a child.
These guys are advocating for child sex abuse as normal, acceptable behaviour. We don’t know whether they’re paedophiles and referring to paedophilic behaviour. It doesn’t matter though BECAUSE THEY’RE ADVOCATING RAPING KIDS.
Dammit, every time I come back to this thread I start thinking about the uses of this and it kind of sours my day.
Aha, so living with a Siamese cat is like living with a Ragdoll cat. 101 Dalmations was wrong on the cat front too.
Siamese are also excellent conversationalists. As we all know, talking to your cat and only to your cat is totally normal! Must be the control the cat has over you. 😛
When my cats talk to me, they expect me to talk back to them and we have a back-and-forth conversation. Unless I am being told “no mummy” or ” I want outside” or “you’re starving me*”, then action is required but verbal response is optional.
* a 3mm square of the bottom of 1 of 4 cat bowls can be seen.
And as I was typing this, Mr Studmuffin came onto my computer desk, mewed, walked on my keyboard holder and is now sitting on my lap. My bttom half is now angled away from the computer, twisted at the hip. At least he doesn’t walk on the keyboard.
Cats (and dogs) always act like they’re starving to death. Even though you gave them all the treats, cat food and HUMAN FOOD in the house. They’re still like: OMG you’re a tyrant FEED ME YOU ASSHOLE.
My cat is so polite about wanting food that it weirds me out sometimes. My last cat would wail, walk over me, punch Mr C in the face, and so on until someone got up to feed him. This one just sits there staring at me as I sleep, occasionally uttering the most pathetic, plaintive little meow, until subconscious guilt wakes me up.
Machiavelli would have a stern word with PUA bozos about the difference between respect, fear and hate.
Unless a cat literally has food in its mouth there’s no possible way of knowing when it’ll ever be able to eat again! That’s especially true if their head is half an inch above their full food bowl.
That’s just science folks.
@Grumpmog:
“It is, to paraphrase Pratchett, ‘evil beginning by treating people as things’.”
Yes. There is no greater evil than that.
And by this most excellent definition, the manuresphere is evil. Save some possible exceptions of a few misguided souls who venture there and may get lost for a while, the manuresphere is as clear an expression of evil as it is humanly possible. It normalizes and champions treating people, women people, as things to use and abuse at will.
“These ‘men’ think they can own women. At best they can hope for Stockholm Syndrome.”
Yes, but because they want to own women (and think they can — nay, should), they don’t mind Stockholm Syndrome. In fact, they desire women with the SS, as they are more pliable, eager to fulfill their wishes, and support their agendas. I recall a male poster on one of the manurespheric blogs — perhaps The (ir)Rational Male — saying explicitly that he would love to find some women (or a woman) with SS in his life.
FeMRAs and their ilk represent Stockholm Syndrome.
I’m not convinced that all FeMRAs are victims of Stockholm Syndrome. I suspect that there’s a fair bit of “do those awful things that you want to do to her, that other woman over there, and not me” going on.
@Fibinachi:
“Oh come on, Obisidian Files was great. How can you not like a guy who likens flirtation to hitting someone with a light saber?”
LOL! Oh, wow. Was it here on WHTM or on his blog?
He revels in the idea of abusing women as much as Elam does, although he still tries to speak from both sides of his mouth and hide his relish under admonitions about violence being a no-no in relationships. That, as he eagerly jumps at every opportunity, real or imagined, to show the uppity wimminz their place, with fists and boots if needed. Because — yes, you know it — the poormenz are the real victimz, and because it is always the wimminz’ fault, waa waa. It hurts him to pummel her so, even more than it hurts her, but what’s a poorman to do? He must defend himself from her disrespect. And then he is unjustly accused of abuse. Oh, the poormenz.
Like Dalrock, Obsidian is careful enough not to spout such explicit sentiments directly, but allows others to do it for him, retaining plausible deniability for himself (“Who, me? Show where I said that! I dare you!”).
These… men are slimy little punks.
That’s probably true too, Cassandra. There is a variety among them, yes.
Yeah, doubt it. Plus, it nicely excuses their opinion as an unfortunate byproduct of Other, Terrible People.
Honestly? I think the Honey Badger Brigade just happens to be mean, nasty people intent on being better than all those “silly women”.
JB seems to just be an awful person who hates other women. If she hadn’t found the MRM she’d have found another way to vent her unpleasant personality upon the world. GWW is the evolution of the Chill Girl into new heights of eye-rolling stupidity. Don’t know the rest of them well enough to comment on specifics, but I’m not seeing any obvious signs of abuse in any of them.
Women are capable of being misogynists all by themselves, unfortunate, and fucked up personalities are drawn to movements that give them an excuse to be abusive towards as wide a range of people as possible.
Emma the Emo is another classic Chill Girl reveling in the ass-pats she gets from misogynists. I’m pretty sure no man is making her act the way she does – again, she’s just an unpleasant person who’s more than happy to throw her fellow women under the bus if it’ll get her what she wants.
Also! Something I just noticed about the picture at the top. Did anyone else see that movie about a guy in California with a fetish for Asian women who married a Chinese woman and the entire process of her coming to the US and the beginning of their marriage was documented by a Chinese-American filmmaker? The guy in the photo who has his hand on the young woman’s knee looks just like him. I wonder if it is the same guy, didn’t seem like that marriage was going to last very long and I’m sure he must have been on sex tourist trips before.
@marinerachel
I don’t for a minute believe that you were trying to downplay the sexual abuse of teenagers, and I apologize for not stating that clearly. I do believe that bringing up the “official” definition of pedophilia whenever it is used more colloquially here has the effect of minimizing the severity of the sexual abuse of teenagers, regardless of intent, because of how that definition is used by others. I don’t say this to pick on you, specifically; I wouldn’t have said anything if this same exchange hadn’t appeared in other threads.
That said, I don’t believe there are many people here who agree with me. It sounds like I’ve upset several people, including yourself, and I’m sorry for that. I am happy enough to drop it.
I have a particularly strong annoyance from “chill girls.” Why? Because I used to be one, too. I finally wised up and realized that even though dudes thought I was “cool” the minute I was out of line in any way they’d turn on me. I really had to reevaluate my values and my understanding not only myself but the way men and women interacted. And why I felt such a need to fit in with the guys but not with the girls. It eventually led me to the feminisms and i haven’t looked back.
This is the movie, btw. I swear it looks like the same guy. David, did you do that on purpose?
http://www.seekingasianfemale.com/the-film/
Well, there’s at least one more right here.
Are you certain of this? I may be wrong, and that would not surprise me, but it has been my understanding that being attracted to AND having sex with children under the age of consent (which varies from country to country and state to state) is pedophilia. Or is it that sex with children who are teenagers is statutory rape?
Sometimes these laws get confusing. Sigh.
It was here. We had a good long talk about everything.
You can read the thread if you’re so inclined.
Here
Or you can skip straight to STAR WARS, here
I can quote myself from that thread since it fits the current conversation –
The worst thing about internet monsters is the feeling of powerlessness. I mean this guy is obviously a threat to his children, yet getting the attention of the authorities is basically impossibl.