Today, a look at an appalling apologia for domestic violence and abuse from everyone’s least favorite creepy expat, the anonymous “game” blogger behind Random Xpat Rantings. Oh, and he also offers a handy rationalization for child abuse as well.
Xsplat, is, by his own description, an expat in his late 40s living in Indonesia and “dating” a teenager considerably less than half his age. Well, not just dating: apparently he feels that he “owns” her.
He starts off his post by arguing that parents have the right to spank their children because the children are, in essence, their property:
Society as a whole remains agnostic as to the value of judiciously spanking recalcitrant children. We remain agnostic because at a fundamental level we realize that the parents have the right to choose. Their children are THEIR children. They literally belong to them.
He then extends this metaphor to relationships between adult men and women in perhaps the creepiest way possible:
Much of sexual love is an add on and re-working of mammalian Daddy/daughter love, and also mother/son love. Men who want to retain sexual tension in the long term must keep the relationship as Daddy/daughter.
You have a right to punish, if she accepts that you have the right to punish.
Xsplat thinks that women find his “pimp hand” sexy:
Laying ownership claims is brute force sexy. Women at a fundamental level understand that while they will always struggle to be a free agent, that when properly owned she can be an entirely different king of person. A deeply sexually charged, constantly submissive and sexually engaged, better woman. A woman with direction.
He argues that women need this sort of “discipline” — which, he makes clear, can involve physical violence — because they are essentially children.
Children and women need boundaries. They will test and act out to the limit of those boundaries. Some children respond well to a gentle word. Some wind up in juvie despite every best effort. Some pimps and parents reward and discipline purely psychologically, while others get physical. Some children learn and behave well under gentle conditions of subtle hints and direction, others have stubborn negative habits that require more forceful re-direction.
A woman who is owned is a very different creature from one who considers herself a strong independent woman.
An owned woman will give you her all, just for the opportunity to remain owned.
He ends his post by boasting about how he applied his “pimp hand” to “N18” – that is, his 18-year-old girlfriend – when she “acted out” at a night club because, he says, she was jealous of the attention he was paying to another woman.
I’m in Bali now with N18, a 32 year old ex who I met when she was 23 … and a potential new intern/partner. We were out clubbing and N18 started to get jealous of the attention that the older woman was getting. … So she started to act out a bit and attention whore on the stage and the dance floor. I’d had a lot to drink, and so by the time we got home my emotions were unrestrained. I called her out on her behaviour, and was not gentle.
In his mind, this assertion of his “ownership” of her only brought the two closer together:
As usual I was awoken with blowjobs and the day was filled with constant attentive behavior. Plus. This is not a reaction out of fear, it is a pure bonding reaction.
That’s what he wants us to think, anyway.
Or maybe he’s trying to convince himself that he’s not, you know, an angry, jealous asshole living in a country with a per capita income less than one-fifth that of the US who’s using his money to exploit and possibly abuse a teenager who wouldn’t give him the time of day if she weren’t poor and he weren’t, at least relatively, rich.
Xsplat is not the most influential manosphere blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s enough of a celebrity in that little world that he had his own “Ask Me Anything” thread on Reddit’s Red Pill subreddit last year.
Anyone who believes the stuff that man believes is a danger to any children around him. Also, whoever was insisting that we shouldn’t refer to him as a pedophile above? Um.
(Points at the bit Aunt Edna quoted.)
Can anyone take a screenshot of that post (“Use the force. Of paternal love” — it is linked on the perv’s blog right underneath the one discussed by David here)?
Being techno-illiterate, I don’t know how to do it.
You just press the print screen button on your keyboard, then paste it into another app.
Oh come on, Obisidian Files was great. How can you not like a guy who likens flirtation to hitting someone with a light saber? I think that’s a great mental image. PUA techinques are like light sabers! If you hit someone with them repeatedly it’s going to cause severe scarring, burns and pain but not really because all of them are mostly imaginary, generally composed of half baked trickery and odd computer effects. It takes special education to use one effectively, and years of long dedication to the art, but other people just pick up an easier option (A fucking gun) and come out on top in 9 out of 10 situations one would use weapons normally. If you go back in the past, you find that they change things and rewrite their ideas of the future and the present and the past, until the amount of various loop holes, contradictions and curious, awkward stilted plot points end up combing into a massive pile of what the fuckery, AND if you’re still set on learning the art of light saber combat, you can get the boxed set for for 39.99…
(plus, like any good light saber related franchise, re-invention is perpetual)
Not even done reading this article and already I need to skip to the brain bleach! ASDFGKHLHKGSJ
Here, have a cat with fuck-you face too.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/f778fb7482335a72aed92dea6cacf1ba/tumblr_n7kjhhq5s81tqastso1_500.jpg
I’d be cool with never again having the conversation about whether wishing to sexually abuse a 16 year old makes someone technically a pedophile or not. I recognize that insisting that these people are not strictly-speaking pedophiles is not always intended to minimize the sexual abuse of teenagers, but it is an inevitable consequence of making that argument. Blame the many child abuse apologists who have invoked the technical distinction for that exact purpose.
I’m starting to think it might be useful to distinguish between medical pedophilia (inability to be aroused by adult bodies) and social pedophilia (preference for legal minors/people young enough to be socially vulnerable).
Why?
If pedophilia is a medically useful diagnosis (e.g. if that population responds to specific treatments and interventions) then yes, I’m with you, Karalora. And then perhaps we can come to an understanding that when people use the word “pedophile” at WHTM they are not speaking as clinicians, but just as people generally concerned with the wellbeing of children, so they are using the social definition.
That population doesn’t seem to respond to treatment at all, though. It’s certainly been tried, lots of times, but I’ve yet to hear of any clear success stories. Also, the only pedophiles that we really have any way to track are the ones who’ve come to the attention of the criminal justice system, and at that point I’m not sure that I care whether the child they raped was pre or post puberty, or whether the rapist is capable of being aroused by adults.
I feel like the question of whether or not someone is capable of being aroused by adults is red herring in general, because if there’s no way to express your sexual interests without raping children, well, you just don’t get to express your sexual interests then. All the attempts I’ve seen to make these kinds of distinctions so far seem to have been attempts to persuade the public to view pedophilia as a legit sexual orientation, like being gay, and arouse sympathy on that basis.
So yeah, I’m really not liking the idea of us going down that path here. I’m just not seeing what the purpose of it would be.
I second Cassandra, Any separation of the term in to camps is pointless. Medical pedophilia is so much trickery. All that does is let you know pedophile A had a little more self control the pedophile B.
Also, since this conversation is both creepy and depressing, have an adorable panda sitting on a plane.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcm77td2sJ1qdnq2mo1_1280.jpg
I think I may have misunderstood the positions that you’re both presenting.
Personally, I am not knowledgable enough to say whether a medical definition of pedophilia is a useful thing to have out in the world. Either way, I do not feel it’s useful here, in this space. I apologize if I’m being needlessly repetitive; I’m a bit confused by this discussion and I want to be clear.
Maybe “medical” was the wrong word to use. I was just hoping that we could maybe spread the idea that pedophilia doesn’t have to be a strict psychological condition to be wrong, wrong, WRONG. And furthermore that no, asshole, you don’t “prefer” young teenagers because that’s your sexual orientation (“medical” pedophilia)–you do it because they’re weaker than you.
Spread it, that is, not so much in this space, where I think we’re all on the same page, but throughout society at large.
I think we are all mostly on the same page there and the “but this one isn’t a pedophile” thing just came up because someone was drunk-commenting. I’d hope we don’t actually have anyone here who thinks that fucking kids are OK because they’re old enough to, say, menstruate.
@Kittehserf – totally off topic, but brain-bleachy!
I’ve forgotten where you recently commented about a ‘bonbon’ cable pattern. Did you know that there is a ‘Cat’s Paw’ pattern in knitting ? Wearing it would be a constant pledge of your devotion to the Furrinati! 🙂
This guy http://jezebel.com/5874834/meet-the-webs-weirdest-authority-on-american-women-asian-men-and-ufos used to be a member of our Bellingham SF club.
He usually seemed pretty normal in person, but online he had all sorts of weird obsessions, and a baffling cluelessness about how other people would react to his expression of those weird obsessions. Like, he didn’t seem to understand why a bunch of people on a Bellingham SF club discussion list weren’t receptive to his ideas about how inherently awful Bellingham was, or why a bunch of American women would take offense at his ideas about how inherently awful American women were.
I remember one time he posted to the list about how he was going to Russia, because Russian women were so much better — more beautiful, more submissive, etc. etc. Then he came back complaining about how they were all deceitful gold-diggers who had ripped him off.
Anyway, it makes me feel better if I imagine this woman is quietly ripping him off behind his back and will someday leave him penniless in a foreign country. Not that he’ll learn anything from it.
Behold, the misogynistic creep’s eternal quest for the magical land where beautiful woman with no self esteem will do whatever you want them to! Hint – the reason you haven’t found it yet is that it doesn’t exist.
I keep hoping that one of us Mammoths will do that in Femborg, but I am too lazy to do it myself and keep hoping that cassandrakitty and/or hellkell will take it on because they’re smarter and funnier than I am. XD
You have sex with multiple people across multiple parallel universes, but only one person per universe, and they’re all alternate universe versions of each other.
I’ve been offered work in Thailand, but I’m worried that if I go, I’ll get in trouble for trying to row creepy, fetishizing scumbags out to sea to leave them there. I’ll leave them with fresh water and rations! I just hope they drift to somewhere with no people to abuse.
FYI, I reported Xpat’s blog to FBI using their online tips form:
https://tips.fbi.gov/
They may or may not follow up on it, but at least there is that.
More power to them.