Today, a look at an appalling apologia for domestic violence and abuse from everyone’s least favorite creepy expat, the anonymous “game” blogger behind Random Xpat Rantings. Oh, and he also offers a handy rationalization for child abuse as well.
Xsplat, is, by his own description, an expat in his late 40s living in Indonesia and “dating” a teenager considerably less than half his age. Well, not just dating: apparently he feels that he “owns” her.
He starts off his post by arguing that parents have the right to spank their children because the children are, in essence, their property:
Society as a whole remains agnostic as to the value of judiciously spanking recalcitrant children. We remain agnostic because at a fundamental level we realize that the parents have the right to choose. Their children are THEIR children. They literally belong to them.
He then extends this metaphor to relationships between adult men and women in perhaps the creepiest way possible:
Much of sexual love is an add on and re-working of mammalian Daddy/daughter love, and also mother/son love. Men who want to retain sexual tension in the long term must keep the relationship as Daddy/daughter.
You have a right to punish, if she accepts that you have the right to punish.
Xsplat thinks that women find his “pimp hand” sexy:
Laying ownership claims is brute force sexy. Women at a fundamental level understand that while they will always struggle to be a free agent, that when properly owned she can be an entirely different king of person. A deeply sexually charged, constantly submissive and sexually engaged, better woman. A woman with direction.
He argues that women need this sort of “discipline” — which, he makes clear, can involve physical violence — because they are essentially children.
Children and women need boundaries. They will test and act out to the limit of those boundaries. Some children respond well to a gentle word. Some wind up in juvie despite every best effort. Some pimps and parents reward and discipline purely psychologically, while others get physical. Some children learn and behave well under gentle conditions of subtle hints and direction, others have stubborn negative habits that require more forceful re-direction.
A woman who is owned is a very different creature from one who considers herself a strong independent woman.
An owned woman will give you her all, just for the opportunity to remain owned.
He ends his post by boasting about how he applied his “pimp hand” to “N18” – that is, his 18-year-old girlfriend – when she “acted out” at a night club because, he says, she was jealous of the attention he was paying to another woman.
I’m in Bali now with N18, a 32 year old ex who I met when she was 23 … and a potential new intern/partner. We were out clubbing and N18 started to get jealous of the attention that the older woman was getting. … So she started to act out a bit and attention whore on the stage and the dance floor. I’d had a lot to drink, and so by the time we got home my emotions were unrestrained. I called her out on her behaviour, and was not gentle.
In his mind, this assertion of his “ownership” of her only brought the two closer together:
As usual I was awoken with blowjobs and the day was filled with constant attentive behavior. Plus. This is not a reaction out of fear, it is a pure bonding reaction.
That’s what he wants us to think, anyway.
Or maybe he’s trying to convince himself that he’s not, you know, an angry, jealous asshole living in a country with a per capita income less than one-fifth that of the US who’s using his money to exploit and possibly abuse a teenager who wouldn’t give him the time of day if she weren’t poor and he weren’t, at least relatively, rich.
Xsplat is not the most influential manosphere blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s enough of a celebrity in that little world that he had his own “Ask Me Anything” thread on Reddit’s Red Pill subreddit last year.
I’m going to try to go to sleep. Aunt Edna, thank you for your consideration. I know you didn’t mean to trigger anyone, so I’m not upset at you. Things like this just happen from time to time, and you’re nothing like MRAs in the past who have deliberately triggered me after disclosing sexual abuse experiences. I’m sorry if I sounded unecessarily cold.
Gods, yes, this.
Sometimes I wonder if the parent-child thing springs from people who cannot imagine any other reason to feel love, tenderness and protectiveness toward someone.
What is friendship? What is compassion? What is altruism? Misogynists know not these things.
Are those things that can serve them in some way? Friendship, compassion and altruism are all things that require GIVING. Not to mention respect. They seem to only understand “what’s in it for me.”
Not only “what’s in it for me” but “what can I shove it into”.
I would suggest a wall socket but that’s just me.
Ex-wife tended to treat me like a child very much in need of supervision outside of the bedroom. It sucked.
I mean, OK, so you have some sort of weird Gor fetish going on. But dudes, must you keep projecting it onto every other person in the world?
For most people being treated like a child is one of life’s great anti-aphrodisiacs.
^^^ QFT
One of my mother’s friends has an unpartnered son, a little older than me, who goes to Thailand every year for about a month. He’s quite well off with his own business. Even when I was talking to my mother, it was not a topic I wished to discuss because I don’t want to think about it.
These guys have clearly mixed up the difference between fear and respect. What they are talking about is fear. Respect occurs when one admires someone, and I doubt there is any admiration going on by the female.
I really don’t know why they bother with real females when all they seem to want is a sex doll.
It’s not just you.
pallygirl, could you not call women and girls females, please? I know you’re trying to include both, but it’s really rubbing me the wrong way, especially when paired with guys rather than males.
Hey, asshole, if your model relationship sounds like something Hannibal Lecter would like, maybe you should rethink what it means for the person on the other side. Oh, you can’t, because you’re an empathy deficient scab of a human being who shouldn’t be pissed on if you were on fire.
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It’s not just you.
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Good to know!
Aaaaaaaaaand my first block quote fail. *facepalm*
I haven’t even attempted blockquoting yet as I fear failure. 🙁
I used females on purpose this time, because I’m not sure that all the victims are cishet girls/women, and I thought the issue was with cishet men. So this time I did it on purpose. However, I could be misunderstanding the problem, in which case yep what I wrote will be wrong.
HA! You’ll succumb, and then the Blockquote Mammoth will get you. It may not be tomorrow, it may not be next week, but it will happen.
redpoppy did the coding right, it just needs angle brackets instead of square ones. Or if you’re on Firefox, there’s a Text Formatting Toolbar add-on that has buttons to save you the coding.
@marinerachel- Yep, fear of failure. One of my biggest fears aside from spiders. Those things are from planet Nope.
It’s a more general thing, pallygirl. Females is inherently dehumanising; it’s completely tainted by the “men/females” usage.
I’m good with spiders. Not moths though. I run right the fuck away when I see one of those. Disgusting. I wish they didn’t exist. I would contribute to a cause dedicated to moths not existing anymore.
Spiders and moths are OK. It’s the centipedes that can go die in a fire. Shudder.
So what do I use when I want to refer to cis and trans women and girls so it’s clear I’m not othering trans women and girls? I’ve been using female as the inclusive term for both, because it’s the gender term – so I thought I wanted that word.
Should I just write out the whole phrase: cis and trans women and girls?
Women and girls works for me. You don’t need to specify cis or trans as they fall under the umbrella of female people.