Today, a look at an appalling apologia for domestic violence and abuse from everyone’s least favorite creepy expat, the anonymous “game” blogger behind Random Xpat Rantings. Oh, and he also offers a handy rationalization for child abuse as well.
Xsplat, is, by his own description, an expat in his late 40s living in Indonesia and “dating” a teenager considerably less than half his age. Well, not just dating: apparently he feels that he “owns” her.
He starts off his post by arguing that parents have the right to spank their children because the children are, in essence, their property:
Society as a whole remains agnostic as to the value of judiciously spanking recalcitrant children. We remain agnostic because at a fundamental level we realize that the parents have the right to choose. Their children are THEIR children. They literally belong to them.
He then extends this metaphor to relationships between adult men and women in perhaps the creepiest way possible:
Much of sexual love is an add on and re-working of mammalian Daddy/daughter love, and also mother/son love. Men who want to retain sexual tension in the long term must keep the relationship as Daddy/daughter.
You have a right to punish, if she accepts that you have the right to punish.
Xsplat thinks that women find his “pimp hand” sexy:
Laying ownership claims is brute force sexy. Women at a fundamental level understand that while they will always struggle to be a free agent, that when properly owned she can be an entirely different king of person. A deeply sexually charged, constantly submissive and sexually engaged, better woman. A woman with direction.
He argues that women need this sort of “discipline” — which, he makes clear, can involve physical violence — because they are essentially children.
Children and women need boundaries. They will test and act out to the limit of those boundaries. Some children respond well to a gentle word. Some wind up in juvie despite every best effort. Some pimps and parents reward and discipline purely psychologically, while others get physical. Some children learn and behave well under gentle conditions of subtle hints and direction, others have stubborn negative habits that require more forceful re-direction.
A woman who is owned is a very different creature from one who considers herself a strong independent woman.
An owned woman will give you her all, just for the opportunity to remain owned.
He ends his post by boasting about how he applied his “pimp hand” to “N18” – that is, his 18-year-old girlfriend – when she “acted out” at a night club because, he says, she was jealous of the attention he was paying to another woman.
I’m in Bali now with N18, a 32 year old ex who I met when she was 23 … and a potential new intern/partner. We were out clubbing and N18 started to get jealous of the attention that the older woman was getting. … So she started to act out a bit and attention whore on the stage and the dance floor. I’d had a lot to drink, and so by the time we got home my emotions were unrestrained. I called her out on her behaviour, and was not gentle.
In his mind, this assertion of his “ownership” of her only brought the two closer together:
As usual I was awoken with blowjobs and the day was filled with constant attentive behavior. Plus. This is not a reaction out of fear, it is a pure bonding reaction.
That’s what he wants us to think, anyway.
Or maybe he’s trying to convince himself that he’s not, you know, an angry, jealous asshole living in a country with a per capita income less than one-fifth that of the US who’s using his money to exploit and possibly abuse a teenager who wouldn’t give him the time of day if she weren’t poor and he weren’t, at least relatively, rich.
Xsplat is not the most influential manosphere blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s enough of a celebrity in that little world that he had his own “Ask Me Anything” thread on Reddit’s Red Pill subreddit last year.
Oh, forgot to add I later saw a job-ad in one of the free Spanish-language newspaper for this facility…but not in the English free newspaper.
Now how did THAT happen? Ugh, Blockquote Mammoth, did I not burn enough incense or something?
This man is in the running for my annual “most repulsive human being” award. This man should not be allowed near women, children or anyone else because he is beyond gross.
@blahlistic, yup, job snobs all, wanting things like minimum wages and breathable air. Do they use the term “job snobs” in the US? It’s a favourite of the reactionary filth here. The so-called employment minister calls people job snobs for not applying for fruit-picking work. Never mind if you’re not physically capable of it, not able to get there, know damn well how badly paid and exploitative the work is, you’re a job snob if you aren’t putting in for it.
Oh, and of course if you do put in for any job going – they want to force us to apply for 40 jobs a month now – you’ll be jumped on for not being serious and just spamming teh poor employers.
That’s before we even get to people under 25 being forced into a system of six months – yes, SIX MONTHS – with no benefits, then six months with benefits but being forced to do Work for the Dole, so they don’t actually have time to do any job hunting, six months off, six months on. It’s no wonder it’s being called the Fuck Off And Die system.
That must be a heartwarming read, I’ll be sure to not check it out.
But Bina, women only think daddy fucking them is nasty because some misguided people told them so! We know this is true because the great and wise Warren Farrell said so, also the daddies involved were perfectly happy about it, so those women were obviously wrong.
In the Reddit Red Pill he says “During that time I’ve mostly stuck to serial and parallel monogamy.”
What’s parallel monogamy? Huh?
Pretending he’s being faithful to two or more women at once? Old-fashioned cheating, at a guess.
I haven’t heard the term “job snob” but the attitude rings true. Right wingers like to tell people to get a job so they won’t be on government assistance. But when you point out that 2/3 of the US households that use government assistance have at least one working adult because wage are so suppressed in service industries they say McDonalds or Wal-Mart isn’t supposed to be a career, it’s supposed to be a job for teens so how dare their workers expect decent wages?
Even though I was maybe 13 when NAFTA passed I still remember its proponents saying that the outsourcing of good union manufacturing jobs wouldn’t matter because the service industry would boom. Well, the service industry has boomed but the jobs in it don’t pay living wages and decent benefits. Now the same people that told us service jobs would be fine and dandy are saying that the people in those jobs are lazy and don’t deserve to make a living 20 years later.
It pisses me off so much.
If everyone working in the restaurant and retail industries went to college and worked really hard, more good paying jobs wouldn’t magically materialize. We’d just have more educated minimum wage workers in the service industries. The bootstraps argument just makes zero sense.
So much hate.
Sorry that turned into a rant. I’ve been drinking wine and the income inequality issue makes me a little heated!
This is straight up domestic violence, and he is COMPLETELY oblivious in his misogyny. You’re telling me this guy actually exists??
Isn’t parallel monogamy where you have to reverse in?
Well that was thoroughly disgusting. Everything about “game” is so gross. Aagh, I can’t even think straight right now. I had several long ranty comments about dehumanization and projection that I deleted and started over. Just… Just imagine a big thumbs down.
No need for apologies, WWTH, I feel the same way about it. The gobshites say the same thing here. 789 000 people unemployed, something like 146 000 jobs available – what the fuck are people supposed to do? The whole system of tech schools was gutted decades ago, now the TAFE (technical and further education) colleges have been attacked and courses and campuses are disappearing. There isn’t room in the universities even if everyone could afford them, or they had courses suitable for everyone. The government wants to deregulate uni fees and that’s going to mean it’ll be even more something only the wealthy, or those who are game to saddle themselves with lifelong debt, will get into – and a lot of those kids will be overseas students, as they are now. Student fees start coming out of your earnings when you’re earning more than $23 000 a year, and that’s not even a living wage with the cost of living here.
Thank you for making me laugh! 😀
This is honestly just……ugh. I dunno where to even start.
@Taylor: Sad thing is. there’s a really good chance that he might not be oblivious…..but that, instead, that he knows he’s a misogynist asshole and actually enjoys it! =(
@Emmy: I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Here’s a virtual hug from me, if you want one. =(
I am really starting to hate these people. And I don’t like to hate. But people like Xsplat don’t seem to have one iota of humanity in them.
I’m having a drunk dance party with myself and this is fucking creepy.
Holy shit, this is like Horrible Things Rationalised In Awful Ways bingo.
Hostility to consent, check.
Psychological and physical abuse, check.
Infantilising women, check.
Blurring lines between children and women (so, implied acceptance of paedophilia), check.
Creepy setting-up-an-incest-dynamic-is-okay because-Oedipus-complex grossness, check.
Colonialistic garbage about gratitude that completely ignores the wealth-created power differential, check.
Healthy heaping of racist undertones, check.
BINGO! Everybody loses!
Sad thing is that MOST women deal with this type of attitude, at least to some degree.
It seems to me that the wealthy corporate arses and the creepy, men OWN women and children dudes have a lot in common…
…Parallel Monogamy…Um…
My guess would be polyamory without the honesty or morality.
Sexual attraction to underaged kids isn’t paedophilia unless the kids are prepubescent. It’s child sex abuse if you rape them but if they’re over thirteen paedophilia doesn’t enter the discussion.
These guys are totally in favour of child sex abuse. They’re not all paedophiles though.
I’ve read a definition of paedophilia as being when the perp’s only attracted to children, never to adults.
But I think it’s too late to put that genie back in the bottle. Child sexual abuser and paedophile are pretty much synonymous in general usage.
@CattyGal
“It’s most probably fear. Fear that they will be thrown out into the street like a used diaper. Even he must surely know this or is he deliberately dressing it up as ‘bonding’ so the whole sick scenario makes HIM feel or look better to the manosphere douchebags. Either way his behaviour and reasoning comes across as a bit bloody sick imo.”
This approach to “bonding” is straight from the Ariel Castro’s School of Relationships (TM). It is based on an extremely common, among manospherians of all stripes, and especially of the Red Pill nonsense, view that women require the alpha treatment, preferably suffused with dread, to be sexually attracted to men.
One of their cherished myths is that all women everywhere fall for Bad Boyz (TM), leaving the poor-beta-menz (a.k.a all the Nice Guys of the manosphere, lol) behind. Thus even the Nice Guys should employ the dread game if they are to attract and keep a woman/women. Dread game ranges from indifference and emotional manipulation to outright physical abuse.
Cultivating such beliefs is a convenient way for these men to justify their own perversions and relationship failures.
Well this was just another example proving that a man can justify anything, no matter how heinous, as long as he listens to his voice inside telling him his not only entitled, but that his women *er* girls like it. I hope those voices in his head tell him to harm himself. I just cannot deal with the ridiculous shit anymore. Women, we take one step forward, and the males literally knock us 5 steps back. I’m angry and hurt and frustrated over misogyny, violence to women, and white privilege and entitlement.