Today, a look at an appalling apologia for domestic violence and abuse from everyone’s least favorite creepy expat, the anonymous “game” blogger behind Random Xpat Rantings. Oh, and he also offers a handy rationalization for child abuse as well.
Xsplat, is, by his own description, an expat in his late 40s living in Indonesia and “dating” a teenager considerably less than half his age. Well, not just dating: apparently he feels that he “owns” her.
He starts off his post by arguing that parents have the right to spank their children because the children are, in essence, their property:
Society as a whole remains agnostic as to the value of judiciously spanking recalcitrant children. We remain agnostic because at a fundamental level we realize that the parents have the right to choose. Their children are THEIR children. They literally belong to them.
He then extends this metaphor to relationships between adult men and women in perhaps the creepiest way possible:
Much of sexual love is an add on and re-working of mammalian Daddy/daughter love, and also mother/son love. Men who want to retain sexual tension in the long term must keep the relationship as Daddy/daughter.
You have a right to punish, if she accepts that you have the right to punish.
Xsplat thinks that women find his “pimp hand” sexy:
Laying ownership claims is brute force sexy. Women at a fundamental level understand that while they will always struggle to be a free agent, that when properly owned she can be an entirely different king of person. A deeply sexually charged, constantly submissive and sexually engaged, better woman. A woman with direction.
He argues that women need this sort of “discipline” — which, he makes clear, can involve physical violence — because they are essentially children.
Children and women need boundaries. They will test and act out to the limit of those boundaries. Some children respond well to a gentle word. Some wind up in juvie despite every best effort. Some pimps and parents reward and discipline purely psychologically, while others get physical. Some children learn and behave well under gentle conditions of subtle hints and direction, others have stubborn negative habits that require more forceful re-direction.
A woman who is owned is a very different creature from one who considers herself a strong independent woman.
An owned woman will give you her all, just for the opportunity to remain owned.
He ends his post by boasting about how he applied his “pimp hand” to “N18” – that is, his 18-year-old girlfriend – when she “acted out” at a night club because, he says, she was jealous of the attention he was paying to another woman.
I’m in Bali now with N18, a 32 year old ex who I met when she was 23 … and a potential new intern/partner. We were out clubbing and N18 started to get jealous of the attention that the older woman was getting. … So she started to act out a bit and attention whore on the stage and the dance floor. I’d had a lot to drink, and so by the time we got home my emotions were unrestrained. I called her out on her behaviour, and was not gentle.
In his mind, this assertion of his “ownership” of her only brought the two closer together:
As usual I was awoken with blowjobs and the day was filled with constant attentive behavior. Plus. This is not a reaction out of fear, it is a pure bonding reaction.
That’s what he wants us to think, anyway.
Or maybe he’s trying to convince himself that he’s not, you know, an angry, jealous asshole living in a country with a per capita income less than one-fifth that of the US who’s using his money to exploit and possibly abuse a teenager who wouldn’t give him the time of day if she weren’t poor and he weren’t, at least relatively, rich.
Xsplat is not the most influential manosphere blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s enough of a celebrity in that little world that he had his own “Ask Me Anything” thread on Reddit’s Red Pill subreddit last year.
WWTH, I should have thought of that! Film Puss even has the right accent.
Now if only he’d said “You keep using that word …”
I’ve noticed a trend with these wannabee patriarch types who like to go to places like Thailand to pay young people to pretend to belong to them: Every single one of them is a self-indulgent manchild with all the self-discipline of a wet strand of spaghetti. I have never seen one of these guys that I couldn’t have beat up back in the late Seventies when I was a super-queer teenager. I have never seen one of these guys who would be capable of holding their temper and simply abiding an unpleasant experience. These are the kinds of men who whine like hungry toddlers when things don’t go exactly the way they want. All their talk of women being childish is just these men projecting their own traits onto women.
Women are ridiculously strong and enduring. My late mother, God rest her soul, she worked when she was sick, and hardly ever complained about her own problems. She endured the agony of childbirth twice. My natal father could never accomplish any of that, his strength was in his back and in his arms, hers was in her character.
Kitteh – thanks for the welcome package. 🙂
Inigo rocks… and having his greatest quote in the avatar often saves time later…
LOL on this site, it certainly will!
It seems to correlate well with real life too. Crime flourishes in places where police is brutal but inefficient, because people committed to a crime don’t think of what will happen if they get caught. It makes sense, since their objective is to NOT get caught!
I’m half Filipino. This makes me so angry I can’t think.
You know, I used to be one of those guys who argued the pedo/hebephile split, but I did so from the opposite side–someone with a diagnosis of a seemingly incurable mental illness should be placed in a treatment facility where they cannot abuse again, or, if they’ve never actually committed an act of abuse, should be placed in some sort of controlled setting with oversight, for their own good as well as preventing harm to victims; someone who is just violating the consent laws, as a matter of free choice, in order to target a population that is more vulnerable because they get off on domination and manipulation deserves hard-core prison time, and guys who target ‘barely legal’ women for largely the same reason should be publicly shamed. So I was for stronger moral and legal condemnation for creepers.
Then I looked at my fellow-travelers arguing for that distinction on the internet and stopped pushing for the distinction, because holy shite those shitheads are creepy as hell.
“Check your fellow-travelers” should be right up there with “Check your privilege” in the ally-wannabe handbook. It got me to stop focusing so much on cosmetic male infant circumcision, too.
http://youtu.be/2ovm1J_AxLQ
I’m sorry that I’m going to sound really awful for saying this and I don’t mind if you bash me me for it but people like this should just get off the internet, pack their bags and just live in Antarctica or someplace where there are no innocent people anywhere. Someplace that matches the temperature in their hearts.
Pallygirl
Can we please leave religion out of this? I’m a Christian and I met a lot of Christian men and they treat their wives like QUEENS. Our church even had a princess slumber party for women/girls only and they teach that every girl/woman is a princess, and taught us about Esther that women/girls can be heroes too and our pastor preaches that the men should love their wives.
I also met all kinds of people from different religions and atheists and they are very kind. It has nothing to do with religion or anything, people choose to be abusive and we should blame them not medical conditions, religion, etc.
Okay, yeah, I’m done. This is just pure evil right here.
The fact that there are people like him out there. The fact that there are people who are in a place of such vulnerability that they can be exploited by people like him.
And, he got his own “Ask me anything” thread on the Red Pill subreddit. Isn’t that just precious.
Here’s a cute kitty.
I don’t know what else. I’m done.
RE: cloudiah
@LBT, I can’t pick! DON’T MAKE ME PICK! (Can you pick for me?)
I shall! Thanks! Just wanted for you to know of your option!
RE: GrumpyOldMan
WE KNOW. MOVING THE FUCK ON.
I have not read something that triggered me this badly in a while. I knew as I clicked on it that it would end poorly. Ugh
On a slightly different note, would anyone mind telling me how they deal with these kinds of posts if they are into BDSM? I don’t mean to pry but I’m scared to look it up incase more of this comes up. Thanks.
RE: Mizuki
On a slightly different note, would anyone mind telling me how they deal with these kinds of posts if they are into BDSM?
As someone actually INTO Daddy/boy play, I deal with it by basically acknowledging that all kinksters are human, and thus, there will always be HORRIBLE people who use kink as a justification of their most abusive, disgusting behavior, just like there will always be horrible religious people who use religion as justification to abuse their spouses and children.
I tell myself that the best thing I can do in this kind of situation is show just how unacceptable behavior like this guy’s is.
And then I go home and cuddle my husband and feel gratitude that he is a nice person and not a colossal jackass like this chucklefuck.
I don’t think being into BDSM changes anything. Doesn’t keep you from recognizing how horrible it is; doesn’t really effect how you feel about your consensual relationships.
This guy is just the worst. I honestly wonder how so e people can come to these conclusions
In the pan BDSM community, Subs are generally honored and respected by everybody except the N00berDom. It’s all just an extended game, complete with pre-play Negotiation. This guy actually believes his own schtick, those are the most dangerous people to play with. Avoid them at all costs. That’s why newbies need to attend lots of Munches and actually get to know the people in the community before they even think about playing with any of them.
@thebewilderness:
Thanks for the link. The creep’s spelling suggests a non-USian, so this may be a better place to contact.
@Fibinachi:
That was an epic [Obsidian Files’] smack down.
“Your direct advocacy of rape is that you don’t mind other people doing it, you just won’t do it yourself.”
Yup. This is his MO all throughout his blog and not only.
He is a pompous but cowardly ass, who loves to hear himself talk and is rabidly intolerant of the slightest dissent and criticism directed at him, especially when it comes from women. In the brief period of my intermittent observations of J4G(aack…), I’ve seen people banned by him — in a frothing frenzy of threats, baseless accusations, and childish foot stomping — after just a couple of civil but not sufficiently agreeable or supplicating comments.
He’s quite a petty little dictator there, which makes me hope, against hope, that at least he noticed and appreciated (yeah, lol) how long he was allowed to stay here and do his “spirited debating” (my eyes started to glaze over around page 8).
And big lolz at his oh-so-classic response to kittehserf:
====
“Obsidian Files | June 22, 2013 at 4:28 am
O: Where is this proof that I am a misognynist? Simply because you say so?”
====
Hmm… Now that he mentioned it, we cannot find one instance where he calls himself a misogynist or says that misogyny is awesome. Therefore he is no misogynist.* Obviously. 🙂
Just as the fact that he never used the word rape in his advice on sexual games (and only advocated forcefully dismissing a woman’s objections) shows that he does not advocate rape. Besides, rape is unnecessary for guys with game, which includes the ability to override or disregard a woman’s objections.
This kind of provocative obfuscation is such a classic OF’s tactic that it should be trademarked by him.
*Or maybe it was a sneaky Jedi mind / typo trick. Maybe he indeed was saying that he is not a *misognynist.* Again, we have no choice but to concur, without even searching for proof.
LBT:
Based on this, a casual observer might think that you are, technically speaking, a Pratchett reader. But then, unless you read at least half the books AND liked them, you’re No True Feegle.
Alex:
I assume the MRA is a divorced guy who pays minimal child support and hardly ever spends time with his daughter, yet complains that her mother has “alienated” her from him.
“And now she’s teaching her to pretend that she’s an angel, to promote the feminist dogma on women’s innocence.”
@fruitloopsie:
My quote:
Your quote:
I did only mention the bible, and it was a reference to verses like these:
Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Ephesians 5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1 Corinthians But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
My statement was purely to point out that people have used the bible as justification for the husband to be the head of the household over the wife. I never said all religions, nor did I say all Christians either. My comment was purely in the context of where he might base his belief about being head/being respected etc, and I didn’t know if it was biblical-based or not.
I also stated “but it’s not obvious to me that this dude is religious.”
This was not a general attack on religion.
We willna be fooled again!!
Pallygirl
Oh sorry my bad.
@fruitloopsie, people’s religions (or spirituality, or lack) are their choice. 🙂 And there’s a huge number of misogynist arseholes who are atheists. Those atheists seem to have “logicked” themselves into being misogynist arseholes, which means they think they are using Science(tm) to be sexist. /rolls eyes at the misogynist atheists.
I thought about it some more last night, and I think I have answered my own implied question. People who are misogynist arseholes may be this way through upbringing (through whatever sociocultural means), but given how small the world is now via technology, *their adult misogyny is a choice*. That is, they have to make a conscious decision to stay that way given the availability of alternative viewpoints to them. Some misogynist arseholes have access to alternative viewpoints more frequently than others – that this doesn’t stop them being a misogynistic arsehole is not a credit to them.
/hugs to fruitloopsie I’m sorry.
Pallygirl
No, it’s my fault and you are right. Those are very interesting thoughts, anyone from anywhere from no matter what they been through can just be terrible people.
::hugs back::
/more hugs to fruitloopsie
And they’re terrible people by choice. Which is really scary: they want to be horrible. 🙁
Pallygirl
Ugh I need brain bleach ::hugs back::
http://youtu.be/1Jsf2kFK3co