Today, a look at an appalling apologia for domestic violence and abuse from everyone’s least favorite creepy expat, the anonymous “game” blogger behind Random Xpat Rantings. Oh, and he also offers a handy rationalization for child abuse as well.
Xsplat, is, by his own description, an expat in his late 40s living in Indonesia and “dating” a teenager considerably less than half his age. Well, not just dating: apparently he feels that he “owns” her.
He starts off his post by arguing that parents have the right to spank their children because the children are, in essence, their property:
Society as a whole remains agnostic as to the value of judiciously spanking recalcitrant children. We remain agnostic because at a fundamental level we realize that the parents have the right to choose. Their children are THEIR children. They literally belong to them.
He then extends this metaphor to relationships between adult men and women in perhaps the creepiest way possible:
Much of sexual love is an add on and re-working of mammalian Daddy/daughter love, and also mother/son love. Men who want to retain sexual tension in the long term must keep the relationship as Daddy/daughter.
You have a right to punish, if she accepts that you have the right to punish.
Xsplat thinks that women find his “pimp hand” sexy:
Laying ownership claims is brute force sexy. Women at a fundamental level understand that while they will always struggle to be a free agent, that when properly owned she can be an entirely different king of person. A deeply sexually charged, constantly submissive and sexually engaged, better woman. A woman with direction.
He argues that women need this sort of “discipline” — which, he makes clear, can involve physical violence — because they are essentially children.
Children and women need boundaries. They will test and act out to the limit of those boundaries. Some children respond well to a gentle word. Some wind up in juvie despite every best effort. Some pimps and parents reward and discipline purely psychologically, while others get physical. Some children learn and behave well under gentle conditions of subtle hints and direction, others have stubborn negative habits that require more forceful re-direction.
A woman who is owned is a very different creature from one who considers herself a strong independent woman.
An owned woman will give you her all, just for the opportunity to remain owned.
He ends his post by boasting about how he applied his “pimp hand” to “N18” – that is, his 18-year-old girlfriend – when she “acted out” at a night club because, he says, she was jealous of the attention he was paying to another woman.
I’m in Bali now with N18, a 32 year old ex who I met when she was 23 … and a potential new intern/partner. We were out clubbing and N18 started to get jealous of the attention that the older woman was getting. … So she started to act out a bit and attention whore on the stage and the dance floor. I’d had a lot to drink, and so by the time we got home my emotions were unrestrained. I called her out on her behaviour, and was not gentle.
In his mind, this assertion of his “ownership” of her only brought the two closer together:
As usual I was awoken with blowjobs and the day was filled with constant attentive behavior. Plus. This is not a reaction out of fear, it is a pure bonding reaction.
That’s what he wants us to think, anyway.
Or maybe he’s trying to convince himself that he’s not, you know, an angry, jealous asshole living in a country with a per capita income less than one-fifth that of the US who’s using his money to exploit and possibly abuse a teenager who wouldn’t give him the time of day if she weren’t poor and he weren’t, at least relatively, rich.
Xsplat is not the most influential manosphere blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s enough of a celebrity in that little world that he had his own “Ask Me Anything” thread on Reddit’s Red Pill subreddit last year.
Yeah, I’d go with sexual abusers of children for a more accurate description. But I also think it’s fine to colloquially shorten it to pedos. (My spell-check, however, wants to make that pesos.)
WHTM made me a Pratchett fan — I’d never even heard of him before this place. Now I’m kind of mad that I’ve been deprived of years of fun reading.
And now I want to see a pic of blahlistic’s tattoo.
I will forever bless the ex-boyfriend from my final year of high school who introduced me to Pratchett.
I agree, cassandra. And pedophilia should NEVER be seen as a legit sexual orientation.
Awwww…That really IS adorable…Thanks, cassandrakitty – I feel better. More cheerful. 🙂
Can you imagine being the person whose job it is to accompany the panda on flights?
Like, I’m sure everyone meant well, but every time someone starts dissecting child molestation and dividing it into categories, even if they don’t INTEND to rate them, it makes me feel like I’M under analysis to see exactly what kind of abuse I underwent, so the analyzer can categorize and judge me accordingly. You know, like those people who like to argue about how you can only get raped if penetration occurs, and that sexual assault can be just as bad BUT BUT BUT.
Yeah. No matter what they say, they’re still telling you that your opinion of our own abuse is wrong, and just needs some nice little armchair theory-spouter whose never experienced what you have to pat your little head and set you on the right path. (Or worse, someone who HAS experienced what you have but want to kick you out because you aren’t THEIR kind of victim.)
Because YOU can’t set down your own criteria. Only objective bystanders can do that!
RE: cassandrakitty
I’m going to go sit in the “fuck you” corner with LBT now if he doesn’t mind.
There is ALWAYS room in the fuck you corner.
A non Pratchett reader on Manboobz?
*guiltily raises hand* I… have a REALLY hard time getting into Pratchett. I liked his golem book, but you can sell me just about anything with a golem in it. And I liked Monstrous Regiment. Everything else… enh?
Can I be the person who gets to accompany the panda on flights?
And seriously (sure!) did they ask it if it understood the briefing they give people who sit in the exit rows (hooray for legroom).
Child sex offenders works for me as a term, to separate them from child abusers who do verbal and other physical abuse, assuming that one doesn’t want an all-inclusive category.
I also get aggro, because of COURSE I can fucking tell the difference between someone who is attracted to children and never acts upon it, and someone who sexually abuses children for whatever reason.
And yet still, always, ALWAYS this fucking comes up and I have to drop everything and explain once a-fucking-gain that yes, I know the fucking difference between people with unfortunate brain-wiring and abusers. No I don’t begrudge people with unfortunate brain-wiring getting treatment and avoiding stigma BECAUSE I’M NOT FUCKING TALKING ABOUT THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.
It’s like the damn religion threads only a bajillion times grosser.
I looked at the trailer and I do believe you are right, cassandrakitty.
Ahhhh….I have only read a couple of Pratchett’s books – The Color of Magic and Hogfather – and I do not recall Magrat being in either. I will read more Pratchett… I will read more Pratchett… I will read more Pratchett… I will read more Pratchett…
For me, it would be a combination of fear and meltyness from being cuted out.
At least my cats don’t do this, and being a kiwi I pondered the vents in the floor for a while and decided it must be some kind of central heating system (am I right?):
@ LBT
And the thing is, we’ve had this conversation here before. As soon as the conversation starts someone always says “um, can we not?”, and yet, nope, apparently we have to do this over and over again, because it’s just that important to…what, exactly? Demonstrate that the person knows the DSM definition of pedophilia? Because hey, the rest of us can read too.
Also, that thing where people keep going, well, it’s important to note that it’s not really pedophilia if the kid has hit puberty? Is exactly what people like the asshole who tried to get me into bed at the Christmas party when I was still in elementary school use to excuse their actions. Because it’s not pedophilia, you see, and we’re not saying that means it’s OK, but still, we must note that this is not pedophilia…and then the whole disgusting mess is summed up in the GIANT FUCKING TRIGGER WARNING loathsome expression “if there’s grass on the field, play ball”, which I heard oh so many times as a kid who developed early and who would try to point out to the much older men creeping on me that I was in fact a kid.
I know that people who bring this shit up every single time there’s a discussion about this stuff don’t intend to play into that behavioral pattern and provide the creeps who use it to justify the fact that they’re sexually harassing children with a convenient excuse for their behavior, and yet that is in fact exactly what they are doing, and they need to stop.
@ Samantha
It really is the same guy, right? He’s creeping here, he’s creeping there, apparently he is creeping everywhere. There are moments in that documentary when you can see the filmmaker struggling to suppress a shudder, and who could blame her?
Yes, cassandrakitty, it really DOES look like the same, creepy…slimy…goose-bump raising guy. I shudder, she shudders, we all shudder…ewwww. I think I will go and make myself a comforting cup of tea…and maybe shake a bit.
That feel when you read “pimps and parents” together in a sentence equating the two and suggesting men behave like them toward women.
http://reactiongifs.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/enough-internet-Dean-Winchester-supernatural.gif
Regarding the SeekingAsianFemale man – he also showed up on the creepywhiteguys tumblr. Apparently, actually getting married did not restrain him from being an obvious creep on the streets of San Francisco. Color ME surprised.
Truth be told, based on my experience, interracialist white gay men can be just as creepy.
I had to move it from a protected forum, took a bit. The artist did an absolutely awesome job.
http://tinypic.com/usermedia.php?uo=adkBqYNLltv6EPPG2J7GwYh4l5k2TGxc#.U-f4seNdVA0
Do random people come up to you and make Pratchett references?
hrm, think I used wrong URL…sorry.
http://oi60.tinypic.com/2yuzjq0.jpg
I was hoping for that, but sadly, no. 🙁
Neat tattoo, blahlistic! I’m dying to get more tats.
I keep meaning to read Pratchett (I’ve had a couple friends let me borrow books) but I just never seem to get around to it. I’m really into non-fiction so that takes up most of my reading time.
Blahlistic,
That is a great tat!
I love it.
@cassandrakitty: Magrat is a witch whose mother’s spelling left something to be desired. She has lots of occult jewelry and some of the best lines in several Pratchett books.
She was also written as a wet hen and New Agey, Pratchett being interested in skewering as many witch tropes as possible when the characters were introduced. she hasn’t really lost those qualities despite being married, having children, and personally beating the shit out of an Eldritch Abomination with cookware.