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Creepy expat: "Properly owned" women appreciate a man's "pimp hand."

Western "tourists" in Southeast Asia (Cambodia)
Western “tourists” in Cambodia

Today, a look at an appalling apologia for domestic violence and abuse from everyone’s least favorite creepy expat, the anonymous “game” blogger behind Random Xpat Rantings. Oh, and he also offers a handy rationalization for child abuse as well.

Xsplat, is, by his own description, an expat in his late 40s living in Indonesia and “dating” a teenager considerably less than half his age. Well, not just dating: apparently he feels that he “owns” her.

He starts off his post by arguing that parents have the right to spank their children because the children are, in essence, their property:

Society as a whole remains agnostic as to the value of judiciously spanking recalcitrant children. We remain agnostic because at a fundamental level we realize that the parents have the right to choose. Their children are THEIR children. They literally belong to them.

He then extends this metaphor to relationships between adult men and women in perhaps the creepiest way possible:

Much of sexual love is an add on and re-working of mammalian Daddy/daughter love, and also mother/son love. Men who want to retain sexual tension in the long term must keep the relationship as Daddy/daughter.

You have a right to punish, if she accepts that you have the right to punish.

Xsplat thinks that women find his “pimp hand” sexy:

Laying ownership claims is brute force sexy. Women at a fundamental level understand that while they will always struggle to be a free agent, that when properly owned she can be an entirely different king of person. A deeply sexually charged, constantly submissive and sexually engaged, better woman. A woman with direction.

He argues that women need this sort of “discipline” — which, he makes clear, can involve physical violence — because they are essentially children.

Children and women need boundaries. They will test and act out to the limit of those boundaries. Some children respond well to a gentle word. Some wind up in juvie despite every best effort. Some pimps and parents reward and discipline purely psychologically, while others get physical. Some children learn and behave well under gentle conditions of subtle hints and direction, others have stubborn negative habits that require more forceful re-direction.

A woman who is owned is a very different creature from one who considers herself a strong independent woman.

An owned woman will give you her all, just for the opportunity to remain owned.

He ends his post by boasting about how he applied his “pimp hand” to “N18” – that is, his 18-year-old girlfriend – when she “acted out” at a night club because, he says, she was jealous of the attention he was paying to another woman.

I’m in Bali now with N18, a 32 year old ex who I met when she was 23 … and a potential new intern/partner. We were out clubbing and N18 started to get jealous of the attention that the older woman was getting. … So she started to act out a bit and attention whore on the stage and the dance floor. I’d had a lot to drink, and so by the time we got home my emotions were unrestrained. I called her out on her behaviour, and was not gentle.

In his mind, this assertion of his “ownership” of her only brought the two closer together:

As usual I was awoken with blowjobs and the day was filled with constant attentive behavior. Plus. This is not a reaction out of fear, it is a pure bonding reaction.

That’s what he wants us to think, anyway.

Or maybe he’s trying to convince himself that he’s not, you know, an angry, jealous asshole living in a country with a per capita income less than one-fifth that of the US who’s using his money to exploit and possibly abuse a teenager who wouldn’t give him the time of day if she weren’t poor and he weren’t, at least relatively, rich.

Xsplat is not the most influential manosphere blogger by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s enough of a celebrity in that little world that he had his own “Ask Me Anything” thread on Reddit’s Red Pill subreddit last year.

 

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LBT (with an open writeathon!)

EW EW EW EW EW EW GOODBYE

Johanna Roberts
10 years ago

Well, that was extremely disguising.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
10 years ago

LBT has summed up my reaction.

I also thought that for sure you’d talked about this ass before, but nope, turns out that was a completely different expat obsessed with exploiting poor women:

https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2014/05/13/expat-pua-blogger-24-is-super-crazy-crazy-old-for-a-girl-17-19-past-that-if-were-going-to-get-all-about-babies-is-pretty-sketchy/

Kakanian
Kakanian
10 years ago

He’s basically a Gorean, isn’t he?

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
10 years ago

Pukeworthy. I suppose a PUAsshole will put in an appearance here to defend him. They always do.

opium4themasses
10 years ago

He probably thinks it’s impossible to exploit people using money. He is surrounded by expats who are doing the same thing, maybe not in their relationships though. I lived overseas as a kid and even at that young age I got an icky feeling about how the Americans over their dealt with and talked about the locals.

coffee
coffee
10 years ago

This is doubly upsetting because half of this rhetoric could look like kinky rhetoric. Ownership, disciplining, etc. So I really hope people recognize that what he’s doing is social engineering, manipulating and abuse–and I doubt his “N18” has had her voice considered in any of this.

Sincerely,

Kinky Strong Independent Woman

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: coffee

I’m kinky myself, and this guy just gives me the skeeve but BAD.

What is it about these fucking assholes that they can’t tell their fantasies from reality?

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

Where does all this “boundaries” shite come from? There’s the obvious stuff in the bible about the man being head of the family and instructing them, but it’s not obvious to me that this dude is religious.

So what is the basis for the assumption that men set boundaries (and just as clearly, men don’t have boundaries)? It’s there as an unspoken birthright from the bits David has quoted.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

Some pimps and parents reward and discipline purely psychologically, while others get physical.

Holy WTF batman…

And…that picture. Her body language does not say “I love you.” It’s somewhere between skeeved out and ready for the next punch.

damselindetech
10 years ago

My word for word responses while reading the above story:

“No…. what? NO! Oh, dear gawd… noooo, nonono… NOOOOO!!!!!!!!”

CattyGal
CattyGal
10 years ago

I’m sure a lot of these young women he enslaves are not as into him as he thinks. He’s so deluded he probably believes they actually adore and worship him for keeping them ‘in line’. Many of them are tough as old boots on the inside and have to be because deep down they know they are being exploited by these sad, old losers. He admits to his shame that he can’t even speak any of the languages in the countries he’s lived in. I’d love to know what the women are really saying about him to one another (or funnier still, right in front of him).

Hopefully they can get their OWN back in some way as he comes across as arrogant, manipulative and just downright revolting. It’s amazing how many PUAsswipes lap this shit (pun intended) up and think he’s living the dream. A seedy, creepy one if that’s your bag but then creepy is their middle name.

cerberustheasexual
cerberustheasexual
10 years ago

Well, I suppose it’s at least positive that he’s not doing the bullshit deception about not believing that women and children are literally a man’s property to do with as he sees fits like most patriarchal douchebags… That being said, nonononononono. Ew, bad, no.

contrapangloss
10 years ago

Can I puke now? I want to puke.

It makes me even more angry because he probably justifies it with “at least she has a roof and food and isn’t struggling to live because I’m so generous in my taking advantage of her.

Ew. Ew. Ew.

Ew.

Ew.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

An owned woman will give you her all, just for the opportunity to remain owned.

Yes, if you take everything away from someone, erode their self esteem and their support network, and make them financially dependent on you, they will, in fact, do anything they can to stay with you in order to survive. This guy is a parasitic boil on the ass of humanity.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Much of sexual love is an add on and re-working of mammalian Daddy/daughter love, and also mother/son love. Men who want to retain sexual tension in the long term must keep the relationship as Daddy/daughter.

So much for fixing dinner.

This asshole has to go to Cambodia and prey on poor women because he doesn’t have the means to pull this shit here. He’s pathetic, and if sex tourism went away right now, I wouldn’t shed a tear.

Lids
10 years ago

Fuck, I hate people like this. Not only is he a creepy, sexist asshole with abusive tendencies, he’s taking advantage of women from extremely poor countries. Ugh.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

@cerberustheasexual

Well, I suppose it’s at least positive that he’s not doing the bullshit deception about not believing that women and children are literally a man’s property

I smirked at his use of the word “literally.” Apparently he wants to make it absolutely clear that he thinks humans can own other humans.

Emmy
Emmy
10 years ago

The worst thing, as someone who has been in an abusive relationship before, the fact that he is fine with telling people that he hit her means that there has probably already been intense abuse. Hitting someone isn’t the first act of abuse – abusers groom their victims with emotional and psychological abuse long before they feel confident enough that their victim won’t run if they beat them.

If an abuser tells you that they hit someone, and it was “the first time” and “it won’t happen again” there has already been significant levels of abuse in that relationship because you need to break a person’s spirit before they get to the point where their sense of self-worth has been so warped that they don’t run away after a punch. The punch is the tip of the iceberg, and the feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness can follow abuse victims for the rest of their lives.

leocigale
leocigale
10 years ago

What’s XPAT mean?

I don’t wanna look it up on google and be led to someplace horrible and depressing.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

Literally “ex-pat” just means someone living outside of their home country. In common usage, it often carries weird connotations of wealth and Western-ness and whiteness.

redpoppy
redpoppy
10 years ago

I believe it stands for Ex-patriate. Meaning he’s originally from some place like the US but has been residing in a foreign country for a long time and probably doesn’t intend to move back. Because, you know. Western women are soooooooooooo vile.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

Like, you can simultaneously be a creepy fucking sex tourist living in Indonesia and believe that “immigrants are taking our jobs!!1!11!” because you’re not an immigrant, you’re an ex-pat. Totally different (because it is for white people.)

redpoppy
redpoppy
10 years ago

Everything is different for white people!

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