Attention tiny ladies! Paul Elam wants you to know that if you attack him, he will totally punch you right back. And not in a satirical way, either. With his actual, non-satirical fists.
A Voice for Men’s maximum leader has long insisted that his notorious “Bash a Violent Bitch Month” post was nothing more than misunderstood “satire.” That is, when he argued that men who are abused by women would be totally justified if they “beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall,” this was somehow a “Juvenalian” satire of some sort. There’s a famous quote from The Princess Bride that might be appropriate here.
Well, now Mr. Elam has announced to the world that every month is a potential “Bash a Violent Bitch Month” for him. Even if the “Violent Bitch” in question is less than half his size. In a post that he insists is super serious, he writes:
I want to offer a few words on this subject, and this time not in satire. I want to convey as honestly as possible, how I feel on the subject of violence between the sexes, from one man’s point of view.
I am 6’8” tall and 285 pounds. If a woman five feet tall and 110 pounds soaking wet hits me, I am going to hit her back.
Now, Elam does stop short of saying he would “beat the living shit” out of this hypothetical tiny woman, but, you know, in the heat of battle with someone less than half his size, he suggests that he might not be able to control his non-satirical fists:
I would do my best to return the violence proportionally, to just use enough force to stop the attack, but I can make no guarantees. Depending on the suddenness of the attack, the level of fear or threat I might feel, the impulse to self-defend in measured amounts is difficult, if not impossible to predict with any accuracy.
So, if there are any tiny ladies out there who might be considering jumping in a pool and then punching Paul Elam, I would suggest you not do that. Of course, I would suggest you not do that even if he weren’t going to hit back, because hitting people is generally a very bad thing.
Don’t worry, dudes – tiny or otherwise – Elam would totally punch you too!
It is the same reaction I would have to a man. No more and no less. The only way to prevent this and the consequences that may result is for people to keep their hands off me.
Presumably this would also apply to bears, giant squids, killer robots and anyone or anything else that tried to put its hands or paws or tentacles on him.
Now, if someone less than half my size were to attack me, and the situation weren’t life-threatening, I might, you know, back off and call the police instead. But apparently, this isn’t an option for men, because we’re all slaves, or something:
Most people who frequent this site know that men who call for help from police when being assaulted by female intimate partners are likely to be arrested for their troubles. … [T]here are prosecutors that will happily give the victim a criminal record and make them pay dearly for having been attacked.
This idea is completely insane on its face. Not only that, it is the closest thing we have today to the mentality of slave owners who could flog their slaves because they were property.
Never mind that women, who make up the vast majority of the victims of severe domestic violence, make up 20% of those arrested for DV. Never mind that even where there are mandatory arrest laws in effect, police still need probable or reasonable cause to show that domestic violence occurred – like physical evidence of injuries – before arresting a suspect. Never mind that even in states with “dual arrrest” policies, only about half of all domestic violence calls result in any arrests.
And never mind that if you use disproportionate force against someone less than half your size – as Elam suggests he very well might do – you deserve to go to jail, and for more than a night. “Beating the living shit” out of someone much smaller than you isn’t actually self-defense at all. It’s beating the living shit out of someone much smaller than you.
Now, Elam isn’t the only Men’s Rights Activist who seems to spend a lot of time imagining scenarios in which it would be ok for them to hit women. It’s a subject that comes up on the Men’s Rights subreddit all the time; the misogynistic douchebags who populate Reddit’s Videos subreddit are if anything even worse. And don’t ever do a Google image search for “equal rights equal lefts” unless you want to be really depressed.
The Men’s Rights movement: bravely fighting for the right of men to punch women half their size.
In a word, no.
Did you say twenty percent of DV arrests are women?
Women initiate almost half of all DV
http://jezebel.com/5509717/domestic-violence-are-women-as-abusive-as-men
So thank you for confirming the bias towards women of how DV is handled in society.
Now some might blame this on patriarchy, but I’d blame it on you David and Feminist Theory, because you just encouraged that sort of bias and your actions are certainly not driven by patriarchy.
Also David I am not sure Elam is saying his satire was misunderstood.
” It has been taken out of context every single time, and used to paint me as someone who endorses violence against women.”
Taking it out of context is less unfortunate misunderstanding and more towards unethical misrepresentation.
Now, since we all know you have archived his page and examined it many times, we all know you do understand the page explicitly was mocking a Jezebel article that bragged about beating up on boyfriends.
Since you rarely (ever) mention that point or link to that Jezebel page, I can only conclude you are as unethical as any journalist or feminist that similarly reads the article and doesn’t do the investigative due diligence and click the link to Jezebel and confirm to their readers that agree with it or not, the piece was in fact a satire of the Jezebel page just as it said.
have a nice day
Awww! What a cute yawning kitty!
Cats. 🙂
Awww poor widdo femz gotta think before they attack someone. Maybe that person will treat them like the little thugs they are and give it right back. I don’t care what size you are, if an adult, male or female attacks me I’ll thump their skull. Now that’s equality! Don’t worry, since I’m a gentlemen and will give the violent beotch a chance I’ll use the back of my hand. Stop acting like spoiled brats and grow up.
Sparky, can you post that link again? I need it to represent my face at the 4:19 teal deer troll.
@Fnoicby:
Here you go. As far as I know, the jezebel article was a response to the domestic violence studies that made profoundly bad equivocations between different types of violence, like equating slapping with beating, and didn’t take into account provocation. I think the article, in a vague way, was riffing on that.
cosmicrays: answer me this–why don’t MRAs understand satire? You fools constantly use that word as cover for your awful ideas.
Don’t have a nice day.
lol that was cruel of u – – honestly I feel sad and overwhelmed by the response but what u said “If you don’t get the response you were looking for then it’s up to you to deal with your feelings on that. ”
dude let me tell u this I was looking for stimulating conversation (sharing, also laughing and maybe ranting and all other stuff u know that you do) but open to almost all responses.
…this rudeness however I could not have imagined. Srsly why? what teh fuck did I do
If a woman hit me I would just laugh as she beat her tiny fists ineffectually against my broad manly chest, my shirt unbuttoned half way. Then I’d just scoop her up in my muscular arms and kiss her as the wind blew my long blonde locks and her bodice popped open. That is the manner in which I roll.
hellkell:
Isn’t “satire” that label you use when you say something offensive and people get angry, and using it stops people from being angry? And if people keep being angry, you can just dismiss them as not understanding satire?
@mythago: My. What a charming, gallant hero you are. With your bold, fresh ideas and gentlemanly ways. I’m overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with gross.
kirbywarp: in MRAland it is.
khamzin: You might want to just hang out and read for while longer and get a feel for the place.
mythago: WTF?
Hmmmm… yes… violence is always the answer. On a similar note, I’m sure Elam will totes back me up if a guy aggressively grabs me and I instinctively shoot him in the face. Maybe he was going to accost me, maybe he was trying to let me know I dropped my wallet? With all the adrenaline and my cat-like reflexes, I guess we’ll just have to figure out details after the fact. Thanks, Paul.
Bina, I can’t let that stand.
Mythago is banned; I just let that through as another reminder of the mentality we’re dealing with.
cosmicrays:
That’s cute. You are way out of your league here, sweetie.
I’m getting the impression that there’s a direct link between poor reading comprehension and being a committed MRA: the more hardcore the MRA, the worse the reading comprehension skills.
That’s not to say that having poor reading comprehension skills makes one an MRA, just that it’s practically a requirement for MRA-hood.
Was Mythago a regular commenter or troll (or regular turned troll)? I’ve seen the name before.
Mythago’s comment is a stunning example of how this “men should be able to hit women” is not a desperate plea for defense, it’s an assertion of dominance. If you are in control enough to “just use the back of your hand,” or you’re fighting an opponent that is half your size and you can choose to “exert proportional force,” then you are the powerful one, and it falls to you to control yourself and your opponent.
That, and they just want to hit women. So much so that they complain when they think someone is arguing they can’t, and fantasize about it regularly.
Sorry, David. And thanks for the ban.
This whole thing is distressing because I’m sure there are MRAs that think a violent woman is a woman who doesn’t “obey her husband/boyfriend.” That’s my main problem with the MRA, their insistence on mainting rigid, antiquated gender roles.
@Bina, I believe he’s been married three times, and his donation PayPal address is a woman’s name, which he has said is his girlfriend’s. I think I’m forgetting some other evidence. I think during the conference, there may have even been a reference to his current wife, implying they are now married? I don’t think anyone has ever seen her in the flesh though. It would be nice if she didn’t exist. I suppose that is something to hope for.
Someone should start a fund to send the MRAs back to preschool. They could learn a lot.
I’m just going to wish cat puke on the, what, three? trolls in this thread and go back to cleaning my apartment. It’s more enjoyable than gross MRAs and their gross violent wank fantasies, plus then everything will look nice tomorrow when we get our new couch delivered. It’s bright red! I’m very excited.
… more of these good advices and rules …
I dont know for how long Ive read this … blogg … more then a year but when I found it I read backwards in time for as long as I had the energy.
and I never thought— honestly? that ur response to me would start with paranoia (that passed quickley) go over into hm where I come from we call it writing on somebodies noes… into beeing told I am not entitled to conversations with ma peers, Im responsible for ma own feelings for linking to the same article twice (and yes I remember ur words “the respons u where looking for”)… this is redicolous… I dont even have words
@kirbywarp They not only fantasize about it regularly, they get all wound up if someone mentions a woman or women beating up a guy. It’s like, they don’t even try to cover up their ridiculous hypocrisy and double standards. Why would they? To them, their world is right. Might is right kind of mentality.