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Paul Elam: "If a woman five feet tall and 110 pounds soaking wet hits me, I am going to hit her back."

Should these books be required reading for MRAs?
Should these books be required reading for MRAs?

Attention tiny ladies! Paul Elam wants you to know that if you attack him, he will totally punch you right back. And not in a satirical way, either. With his actual, non-satirical fists.

A Voice for Men’s maximum leader has long insisted that his notorious “Bash a Violent Bitch Month” post was nothing more than misunderstood “satire.” That is, when he argued that men who are abused by women would be totally justified if they “beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall,” this was somehow a “Juvenalian” satire of some sort. There’s a famous quote from The Princess Bride that might be appropriate here.

Well, now Mr. Elam has announced to the world that every month is a potential “Bash a Violent Bitch Month” for him. Even if the “Violent Bitch” in question is less than half his size. In a post that he insists is super serious, he writes:

I want to offer a few words on this subject, and this time not in satire. I want to convey as honestly as possible, how I feel on the subject of violence between the sexes, from one man’s point of view.

I am 6’8” tall and 285 pounds. If a woman five feet tall and 110 pounds soaking wet hits me, I am going to hit her back.

Now, Elam does stop short of saying he would “beat the living shit” out of this hypothetical tiny woman, but, you know, in the heat of battle with someone less than half his size, he suggests that he might not be able to control his non-satirical fists:

I would do my best to return the violence proportionally, to just use enough force to stop the attack, but I can make no guarantees. Depending on the suddenness of the attack, the level of fear or threat I might feel, the impulse to self-defend in measured amounts is difficult, if not impossible to predict with any accuracy.

So, if there are any tiny ladies out there who might be considering jumping in a pool and then punching Paul Elam, I would suggest you not do that. Of course, I would suggest you not do that even if he weren’t going to hit back, because hitting people is generally a very bad thing.

Don’t worry, dudes – tiny or otherwise – Elam would totally punch you too!

It is the same reaction I would have to a man. No more and no less. The only way to prevent this and the consequences that may result is for people to keep their hands off me.

Presumably this would also apply to bears, giant squids, killer robots and anyone or anything else that tried to put its hands or paws or tentacles on him.

Now, if someone less than half my size were to attack me, and the situation weren’t life-threatening, I might, you know, back off and call the police instead. But apparently, this isn’t an option for men, because we’re all slaves, or something:

Most people who frequent this site know that men who call for help from police when being assaulted by female intimate partners are likely to be arrested for their troubles. … [T]here are prosecutors that will happily give the victim a criminal record and make them pay dearly for having been attacked.

This idea is completely insane on its face. Not only that, it is the closest thing we have today to the mentality of slave owners who could flog their slaves because they were property.

Never mind that women, who make up the vast majority of the victims of severe domestic violence, make up 20% of those arrested for DV. Never mind that even where there are mandatory arrest laws in effect, police still need probable or reasonable cause to show that domestic violence occurred – like physical evidence of injuries – before arresting a suspect. Never mind that even in states with “dual arrrest” policies, only about half of all domestic violence calls result in any arrests.

And never mind that if you use disproportionate force against someone less than half your size – as Elam suggests he very well might do – you deserve to go to jail, and for more than a night. “Beating the living shit” out of someone much smaller than you isn’t actually self-defense at all. It’s beating the living shit out of someone much smaller than you.

Now, Elam isn’t the only Men’s Rights Activist who seems to spend a lot of time imagining scenarios in which it would be ok for them to hit women. It’s a subject that comes up on the Men’s Rights subreddit all the time; the misogynistic douchebags who populate Reddit’s Videos subreddit are if anything even worse. And don’t ever do a Google image search for “equal rights equal lefts” unless you want to be really depressed.

The Men’s Rights movement: bravely fighting for the right of men to punch women half their size.

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kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

To me it looked like some godawful thing you’d find in a 7-11 – a “lad mag” (hurl).

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
6 years ago

Magneto decided that THE NAZIS WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG

Wait, really? WTF? That’s literally the opposite of Magneto’s proper backstory. He’s a Holocaust survivor, FFS!

I’m not kidding about the female circumcision crack either, some dudebro actually made a poster about things that had to happen before men and women were equal – that was one of them.

Well, if we just ended male circumcision instead, how would women be punished?

That’s just the thing though.
If women aren’t bound by traditional roles, then neither are men.
That scares the hell out of them.
We’re attacking their *self-definition*.

Well, IMO…Do y’all think I’m wrong on this?

No, I think this is actually where a lot of the backlash comes from. Masculinity in this culture seems to be defined mainly by not being feminine. If women’s roles expand to include things that used to be the domain of men, men only have two choices: draw back from the things that have now been tainted with femininity, thus narrowing their own acceptable range, or rewrite their own roles as well, and risk censure from other men for being “feminine”. Or you can complain about the fact that anything’s changed at all and fight to reestablish the old boundaries, which is what anti-feminism is about.

BigMomma
BigMomma
6 years ago

Far out. As a homelessness worker since the 90s, I’ve seen my fair share of substance users. And whilst I’d agree that many of them will use benefits to buy whatever substance it is that they need, it’s my experience that they have complex support structures in place to manage surviving from pay day to pay day. In this way, users can access food, general needs as well as their addictions. It’s not a perfect system but it’s a common one. Remove benefits from this and people are more likely to resort to crime than some epiphany over drug use because serious addiction is psychological and social, not just physical.

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
6 years ago

Welfare reciepients are not being unfairly treated by drug testing

Of course they fucking are! Their constitutional rights are being violated (in the US at least), and they’re being treated like suspected criminals AND being held to a higher standard just because they’re poor. Nothing fair about any of that.

And yes, drug addicts deserve tampons, toliet paper, and everything else. Which is why I give it directly to them, and not cash if I can help it. Drug addicts will buy drugs before tampons, toliet paper, and even food. Because that’s what addiction is.

OK, but I’m pretty sure the local crack dealers don’t take EBT cards, which is how the “cash” benefits are disbursed.

Do you actually know anything about actual addiction, beegee? How the hell did this conversation even START anyway?

That was my bad. Someone (Cassandra?) remembered Beegee saying something iffy before, so I filled in the details. As someone who was relying on public assistance while getting help for my drinking problem, that shit touched a nerve.

Speaking of which, that whole drug testing thing? Doesn’t even catch alcoholics. We’re just as likely as any other addict to buy booze instead of toilet paper, but we fly under the radar because our drug of choice is legal and widely available. So drug testing isn’t even an effective way to weed out addicts.

I bought Oreos at the grocery store this week. And you know what? I AM ENJOYING MY OREOS. Because it’s proof that my ED is under enough control that I can eat a cookie without worrying about my moral worth and deserving.

<3 <3 <3

Also, being forced to walk around with dirty hair and teeth, possibly bleeding all over your clothes, is guaranteed to boost self esteem, thus making the process of fighting addiction so much easier. This is a foolproof plan, why did nobody think of it before?

Really helps you find and/or keep a job, too. It’s not like maintaining a certain socially-acceptable level of cleanliness is required for one to to the things that may eventually get them off welfare.

Addiction is a thing that can be easily cured by withholding money. It are an assfact.

Don’t forget shame! Addiction, like fatness and poverty and homelessness, can be cured simply by making the people doing it feel bad about it!

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
6 years ago

There was a housing first pilot project in many cities across Canada run by the Canadian Mental Health Association and they found it much cheaper to house the homeless and they didn’t force people to give up their addictions first. As far as I know, it’s been a success wherever it’s been tried around the world.

Boston’s been tryign it and yeah, it’s been way more effective. I mean, when you need an address and phone to apply for jobs (plus a place to shower and nice clothes), a child could see that being homeless presents a huge barrier to getting employment, which you need to get housing and food and such. And yeah, it turns out that having a safe place to sleep and something to do during the day works wonders for addictions, school performance, and stress-based mental illnesses. It’s like fucking magic! But in the US, we’ve made homelessness into a moral issue, so doing anything to help them would be politically unpopular. You’d have to frame it as a monetary issue, and even then you might have to pretend it’s going to punish the homeless somehow for it to fly in some parts of this country.

In our city they found that 70% of the homeless were suffering from mental illnesses.

That’s the average in the US, too. Twelve years of war and a dearth of support for ex-soldiers has not helped matters any – veterans with untreated PTSD are increasingly finding themselves on the streets.

and also subsidized housing should absolutely be as nice as possible

As someone with depression and SAD, I <3 your classmates who said this. Some of the hardest times for me were my first couple of years of college, before they renovated my dorm building, when you really felt like you were products in a warehouse. Dark walls, chipped furniture, shitty lights – and I lived in one of the "nice" dorms.

I’m focusing on doing the thing that, I think, would be the most helpful

And people are telling you that you’re wrong. How much research have you actually done on this topic?

Politicians, too. Six months on, six months off, at the very least. Not minimum wage, either – on the dole.

I’ve always thought that political offices should pay minimum wage. The idealist in me thinks it’d narrow the field to actual public servants rather than people seeking money and power, although I know that’s unlikely. But at the very least, it’s keep the minimum wage high!

Going to bed now, but I wonder what beegee thinks about indigenous people being deprived of unemployment benefits because of taking peyote, a cactus used by indigenous people for ritualistic and medicinal purposes. (Yes, that has happened before and probably still happens in this country.)

Technically the ceremonial use of peyote by Natives is legal, but law enforcement doesn’t have a history of being Native-friendly. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if the use of Peyote is being used to deny benefits to Natives.

I’ve been around the music industry for long enough to know that the number of pros who’ve never taken drugs is, well, let’s just say they’re a minority. Stop paying musicians today!

What about rich kids who use drugs? Can we cut them off from their parents’ money?

some random stranger on the Internet compared me to Andy Blake (serial abuser, manipulator, and cult-maker) because I’m married to hubby

What a shitty thing to say to someone. So you being multi and married to a system member = Andy’s (admitted) delusions? Would they even be comparing you two if you weren’t both trans dudes? Jesus, dude, I’m sorry.

John Barrowman is awesome. It’s weird seeing him as the bad guy in Arrow, I’m used to him as Captain Jack.Harkness /swoons

The weird moment for me was watching The Producers (the more recent film version) and realizing I recognized that singing Nazi…

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

Let me restate what I actually believe. Welfare reciepients are not being unfairly treated by drug testing.

Why Welfare recipients? Why not everyone?

There is just no way to make that statement make sense. It isn’t unfair to them, but let’s just do it to them because they’re poor and poor people need to be monitored more than other people because…

contrapangloss
6 years ago

So, yeah…

I’ve been steadfastly ignoring Beegee since I’m sure Beegee is just going to annoy me more, and I don’t trust myself to not get really, really annoyed and use more cutting language than I’m comfortable with.

I can say this: Safe housing for the homeless is a good thing. Food benefits for the homeless is a good thing. Even homeless addicts deserve these things.

From personal experience with a soup kitchen, I can tell you that there might be some adults among the homeless who don’t play nice and graffiti the walls of the children’s bathroom with curse words written in poop, who yell nasty things loudly at the neighbors, and who steal all the pens.

Yes, housing the rude folks (till they sober up and get control or longer term if they’re just sober arses to begin with) away from the nicer folks and kids is something to consider.

But to say across the board that “You’ve snorted/shot/drunk in the last week, so you don’t deserve food or shelter and should go crawl under the bushes to sleep” is not cool. Even the rudest, ugliest, smelliest, heaviest of the addicted folks should be able to eat and sleep, safely.

Okay? Backing away slowly before my growling gets me in trouble…

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Note, some people are nice on drugs. Lots of people are nice on drugs. They shouldn’t’t have to sleep with the rude folks.

Did not mean to imply that.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

That’s another thing, isn’t it – forcing people into homelessness by cutting off benefits is sooner or later going to pass a death sentence on someone, if not from exposure then from violence.

vaiyt
6 years ago

It seems that whiny conservative types are the ones who object the most: “How come I don’t get free stuff??”

I have a canned response for this whenever I see the whiny reactionaries in my country complaining about our anti-poverty programs.

If poor people have it so easy, why don’t you try being poor?

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: blahlistic

BTW… letting people go homeless actually ends up costing more money than just giving them some freaking housing.

NO! You don’t say! Someone fetch me my fainting couch!

…Reading an article about people in Macallen buying prepared junk with their SNAP cards, though.

Horseshit. Some places have a program where some disabled/elderly people who can’t cook can have prepared food covered by food stamps, but it’s highly limited. Rich people love to crow about that though.

RE: Hyatt and Kittehserf

Andy Blake is a special, SPECIAL person. (You probably already found that.) And Hyatt, I’m multiple, which is why I took on his horseshit, but of course, believing outlandish things means that of COURSE I’m like him. *eyeroll* I admit, it honked me off.

RE: wewereemergencies

I mean you haven’t even started one cult!

Obviously I’m not trying hard enough. *snort*

RE: cassandrakitty

We’re supposed to empathize with Boobs Comic Guy.

I would be so much happier if non-porn comics stopped treated female characters like blow-up dolls.

RE: emilygoddess

Wait, really? WTF?

Yup. Magneto kills the Nazi who kills his parents, then decides the DUDE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG, steals his helmet, and starts trying to kill the mundies. Because that totally makes sense.

Would they even be comparing you two if you weren’t both trans dudes?

I dunno if anon knew I was trans or cared. It was basically just a “lulz you’re crazy” phrased in concern-troll speak. (What really steams me up is that I still worry enough that they’re right to start analyzing everything I do.)

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I’ve always thought that political offices should pay minimum wage. The idealist in me thinks it’d narrow the field to actual public servants rather than people seeking money and power, although I know that’s unlikely. But at the very least, it’s keep the minimum wage high!

Wouldn’t that just restrict political office to people who are already wealthy and don’t need much of a salary? I should think that would make legislative bodies even less responsive to the needs of the 99% than they are now.

There was a housing first pilot project in many cities across Canada run by the Canadian Mental Health Association and they found it much cheaper to house the homeless and they didn’t force people to give up their addictions first. As far as I know, it’s been a success wherever it’s been tried around the world.

You mean the best solution to homelessness is providing homes? I’m thunderstruck!

Seriously, why isn’t it more obvious to people that curing the need for a home first makes more sense than trying to cure a homeless person’s joblessness, drug addiction or mental illness first? It’s hard enough to find a job when you have a home and an internet connection. How do people expect someone living on the street to do it?

I know this looks like it was intended as a joke about how, hey, maybe if you don’t cover your stuff in disembodied boobs women will pay more attention to what you’re doing, but nope. We’re supposed to empathize with Boobs Comic Guy.

Also, by making the customer a woman it looks like he’s saying that female fans are “fake geek girls” who just want to look at pretty pictures and are too shallow and stupid to appreciate Boobs Comic Guy’s Very Important Boob Humor Comic.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

To clarify, I’m not saying fan art is shallow. It just looks like that’s what Boobs Comic Guy thinks of it.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: WWTH

<em.Seriously, why isn’t it more obvious to people that curing the need for a home first makes more sense than trying to cure a homeless person’s joblessness, drug addiction or mental illness first?

Oh man, I HATE that! I actually wrote a post about that because it was so maddening trying to bootstrap my brain while homeless, poor, and frightened. I called it the Leaky Boat Game, because it was like trying to row a boat to Australia, only the boat had an enormous hole in it that could only be fixed when I got to Australia.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

You know, I’ve done a good number of comics cons in my day. And I know that frustration of trying to sell a niche product in the presence of people with a lot of more money and production value than you. (Seriously, my big advance was using a giant Gay Pride flag Sneak salvaged from the garbage as a tablecloth.)

But you know what? People come to comic cons for various reasons. I recognize that a lot of people do not come to buy my mental health comics. If they do, that’s awesome, but I’m essentially trying to sell oranges at an apples festival.

Similarly, just because you are at a con does not oblige anyone to buy your work. Sad, but true. It might personally comfort you to think your Boobs comic is so much deeper and cooler than Green Lantern, but you have to accept that a lot more people are going to come for Green Lantern than Boobs. Just like a lot more people are going to go to an anime convention who love Naruto than… hell, I dunno, Princess Jellyfish or something.

If I wanted to sell fanart, I’d make fanart. If I wanted to sell superhero comics, I’d make superhero comics. Frustrating as it is, there’s no point in blaming congoers for not dropping in astonishment at your feet. Creators, get over yourself!

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
6 years ago

@WWTH

Members of Parliament in Canada receive an average salary of $163,700 a year. After six years in office they receive a pension at age 55. Cut the salary in half and it’s still a pretty decent living.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Auntie Alias

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

I live on less than $10,000 a year! Seriously, SIXTEEN YEARS of keeping me alive costs less than a fucking year’s salary for these guys? Seriously? And yet I’M the one who’s bankrupting America and needs to get drug-tested and pushed through hoops to get housing?

WHAT DO THEY EVEN DO WITH ALL THAT MONEY? Wipe their asses with gold toilet paper?

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

And even when I was working, my highest income was $12,000 a year!

FFFFFFF

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

In Wellington, there’s been an issue with the majority of night shelters not accepting people who are under the influence of anything. This has led to the outcome of empty beds staying empty and people sleeping on the street instead. 🙁

Life is really fucking miserable for some people. Do I begrudge them using drugs to get some escape from that – no. For many people having a really sucky life is what drove them to drugs, it wasn’t an outcome from using.

And a lot of the issue comes from the fucking war on drugs that the US has made all our countries follow. Not only does this mean that people can’t be helped to manage their habit (i.e. harm minimisation), but people go to jail for possession charges and then that criminal sentence stuffs them up for future jobs – oh, unless they’re white and rich and get discharged without conviction because a conviction would be prejudicial against those people.

I wouldn’t mind paying MPs etc $165K per year if they would make policy on the basis of evidence and not bloody ideology. I don’t think this type of “demonise the opposite party” type of democracy is any good – regardless of its ideological background, the government should be implementing what works. Too bad if that doesn’t gel with the right-wing “war on”s stuff.

grrr /sigh

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: pallygirl

This has led to the outcome of empty beds staying empty and people sleeping on the street instead. 🙁

God, that’s depressing. But I feel like it nicely sums up how people treat the poor: you can have basic necessities of life… but ONLY if you behave!

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Relevant here I think, particularly Merton’s modification: http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/26587/anomie

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
6 years ago

@LBT

And MPs get to claim housing, travel, and meal expenses on top of that.

Maybe there have been studies on how many addicts have underlying mental illnesses and are self-medicating but I’m betting it’s a significant proportion. Decent mental health care is another thing that governments are slow to address and the cost of ignoring it is billions of dollars every year.

Even though we have universal health care in Canada, it only covers psychiatrists where I live and it’s nearly impossible to find one for long-term treatment because there are too few of them. Psychologists aren’t covered so the only option available to people in poverty is free community services with long waiting lists. It sucks.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Auntie Alias

And MPs get to claim housing, travel, and meal expenses on top of that.

You’re kidding! Where does all that money GO? It can’t be healthcare; that’s a US thing! I don’t get it! Axing half of their salary would keep eight people like me afloat and safe and off the street!

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
6 years ago

@LBT

Fancy houses and cars? I can’t imagine how you live on so little money.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Auntie Alias

*shrugs* We had money once. When we were kids; we actually come from a family with money. Just… well, we had to leave, and then we got disabled and… well, it’s been like this for basically all our adult life, so I don’t really know anything else, as an adult, anyway.

But I do all right! I’ve got enough food, and sure, everything’s kinda old and creaky, but I go our stuff back when we were kids and we had money, so it’s held up really good. It also helps that we’re always the Johnny-come-lately to apartments, so we always join up with existing households, so our roommates usually are the ones with stuff like dishes and TVs and stuff. Sure, I’m not rich, but I’ve got what I need and people who love me and useful things to do, and that’s what’s important!

mythago
6 years ago

Cassandra, I’ve been drug tested for every job I worked, serious business or not. High or drunk people are liabilities.

Were you alcohol tested for every job you’ve worked? Or asked to sign an agreement stating you would not consume alcohol at all during the pendency of your employment? I wonder why not, given that drunk people are liabilities.

Re Boob Comic Guy, the artist had this hilariously clueless response:

This was just supposed to be a comic about how hard it can be for the unknowns to find their audience. Anything else you see is your own interpretation of the page. But again, i am sorry for any offence I caused.

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
6 years ago

@LBT

Ah, having roommates helps a lot. I’m glad you have that option. Housing is such a drain on money if you have to go it alone.

Your positive attitude is so great! I’m sniffling here a bit at how awesome you are.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Auntie Alias

Well roommates are kinda a necessity. We’ve never lived alone. (Though we did move to a much cheaper part of the country, and with rent being a third to a half of what it was in Boston, we might be able to have our own place in April!)

I’ve never had really expensive tastes, so I think I do okay.

RE: mythago

Lolz. Well, yes, dude, if you draw boobs on all your comics, a lot of women might not be all that into it. It might indeed cause you trouble in finding an audience, especially if you have no prior reputation to reassure the women that the boobs will just be on the cover.

gilshalos
6 years ago

OK, I have to start by saying that I am currently in a really good situation, not much due to the government.
I live off disability benefit, Income Support and parental help.
Cos I am on income support (for people with no, or very low income), I do not have to pay most taxes (Water bill and VAT on purchases basically).
I live in Scotland, so free health care for all! (Also free prescriptions, which I wouldn’t get in the rest of the UK). Health care includes Pychologists and psychiatrists, but it’s about a year waiting, and only 6 months for some reason. No other medical care is limited by time, not need.
My Aunt died, and I inherited enough to buy a place to live, and her furniture. My parents pay water, heating, electricity and internet bills (Yes, I feel guilty about this), so my major expenditure is food/daily expenses.
Which is a good thing. I get £5421 a year.
Currently the UK govt is conducting a war on disabled people, on the grounds all of us, even the ones with blatant physical disabilities are con artists playing the system.
So far, I haven’t had the new tests for disability benefits which have been around for about 5 years now. When I do, I expect to be told I am fit to work, despite the previous tests saying I am not for over 20 years. (normally I would have had a test in the past 5 years..at least one test, but they’ve messed up the new system so much it hasn’t happened.)

You can imagine the long line of people willing to pretend to be disabled to live on the luxury of 5k a year, can’t you ?

And it is all our fault the economy crashed. And people are lined up waiting eagerly to employ people who have zero work experience at 43 and mental health issues. And ‘Love is a thing which can never go wrong / and I am Marie of Roumania’…

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
6 years ago

Speaking of boobs on comic book covers, has anyone stumbled across Grimm Fairy Tales? Turn off safesearch and do a Google image search, if your stomach is feeling strong. I’ve never read the books, and I never will (despite having been a fan of Fables and of retold fairy tales in general), because the covers make me want to set the whole comics industry on fire. They just scream “women don’t read comics and men will fork over money for the merest hint of sex”.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
6 years ago

The discussion on the use of force on Just4Guys to put those allegedly rampantly violent (= uppity) women in their place continues with entries like this:

SfcTon says:
August 9, 2014 at 1:56 pm

“The objective is to destroy any potential threat.

The best way for a woman not to get beaten to a bloody pulp is not to attack or disrespect men. Woman want equality so welcome to boots to the ribs and fists to the face.

Personally no I will not live with a woman who shows that level of contempt. So your question is irrelevant”

http://www.donotlink.com/b37d

BTW, the J4G blogger who wrote the OP, an African-American man who uses the handle Obsidian, calls Paul Elam’s post discussed here “excellent.”

J4G, with Obsidian in particular, along with several regular commenters, have a history of advocating violence against women (although they deny it when taken to task for it). Here is another sample of what can be found there as a matter of course (TW):

Arevo says:
June 13, 2014 at 11:58 am

“In Africa this [uppity women disrespecting men — AE] does not happen because if a black woman ever gets out of line with a man the man simply disabuses her of the notion that she is “Just as strong as he is!!!” In America, men are forbidden from defending themselves from women and the problems that this causes are far worse in undisciplined, less intelligent women i.e. black women.

A sheboon will be the first to retreat and cry and carry on if you smack her down but you can’t expect the thing to have any notion of propriety, boundaries, or social etiquette. For the sheboon – these are not natural things, they must taught, backed up by force because that is what blacks understand, it is the only thing they understand. The natural state of blacks is too live as they do in Africa – in filthy dingy slums wallowing in their own shit. They are not naturally civilized and if they are given the chance, will act like animals which is what black women now do.

Other than to remove all the stupid laws protecting these beasts and let nature take its course (i.e. allow men to firmly discipline them using violence as this is all sheboons ultimately respond too) you will have this behavior. You are dealing with a dog that enjoys crapping in the middle of the house. In order to stop this behavior you either crate train the dog or you discipline it and this is what your typical black woman needs (black men too but that’s another topic).”

http://www.donotlink.com/b3la

Again, when confronted with their open advocacy of abuse, the blog authors and their sycophantic regulars vehemently denied it.

This attitude, of casual dehumanization of women and equally casual advocacy of violence as the best way to control them and their “animalistic” urges, is, with small variations, the standard fare on manospheric blogs, including “Christian” Dalrock and The (ir)Rational Male.

Dalrock stated recently that he does not allow any comments advocating violence against women stand on his blog, but when presented with evidence to the contrary, he attacked the poster who confronted him with it.

And so the ‘sphere turns, with MRA and their ilk valiantly fighting for their “human” rights to abuse women every possible way.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

I’ve seen it, emilygoddess! Very Jim Balent.

I wonder if straight men ever feel offended how grossly they’re pandered to. I dunno, I just feel like I’d be kinda grossed out if every product pushed at me had beefcake all over it, even the stuff that wasn’t supposed to be porn.

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
6 years ago

@LBT

we might be able to have our own place in April!

Fingers crossed! 😀

@gilshalos

You can imagine the long line of people willing to pretend to be disabled to live on the luxury of 5k a year, can’t you ?

I know, right? Here, people get $250 a month for housing when on welfare or disability. Even the shittiest apartments start at around $400. Yet the whiners act like these people live in the lap of luxury. Gah.

I wish you all the best and hope you can continue to stay off their radar.

@Aunt Edna

Holy crap, that’s some ugly hatred. Bad enough to use questionable self-defence to pound the shit out of women (Elam) but for not giving the menz their due respect? The racist slurs are beyond the pale.

strivingally
6 years ago

I wonder if straight men ever feel offended how grossly they’re pandered to. I dunno, I just feel like I’d be kinda grossed out if every product pushed at me had beefcake all over it, even the stuff that wasn’t supposed to be porn.

I can’t speak for other men, of course, but the stuff that’s supposedly marketed hardest to appeal to men is the stuff that usually skeeves me out the most. I’m sure there must be guys out there who see Lynx/Axe ads and think “Hah! This is awesome!” but I just get creeped out at the implied transactional nature of so many of those commercials – “Buy our product and women will bang you!”

Tangent: Mind you I could write a thesis on the stereotypes in commercials that piss me off. The “dumb husband/smart housewife” cliche is particularly irritating me at the moment, especially as a superficially female-positive trope (women can be smarter than men yay!) is actually being used to perpetuate women being held to a higher standard than men when it comes to taking responsibility for shared obligations like insurance, household cleaning, etc.

vaiyt
6 years ago

I just think those commercials are silly.

I also tend to not like so much when every female character in a series is a “sexy” stereotype because VARIATION, PEOPLE. IT’S A GOOD THING. Is it much to want my series to have sexy women, awesome women, weird women, terrifying women, all kinds of women – instead of eleventy iterations of the same thing?

If I want to get myself off, I can look at actual porn.

strivingally
6 years ago

Well said valyt. Particularly in movies or TV series where a woman who’s *slightly* less conventionally pretty/traditionally made-up & coiffed is portrayed as “the ugly one”. I mean I’m sure that shit is meant to pander to me as a straight male who likes looking at pretty women but honestly? It’s just tedious seeing the same narrow definition of beauty and the ridiculous threshold for meeting it.

Same thing that pisses me off with the PUA types and their talk about “market value” and “high-status females” – as if there’s a universal objective scale of attractiveness.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

Yeah. It’s like straight guys are presumed not to buy things unless sex is dangled in front of their faces like a cat toy. Gross.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Cousin’s dude body wash label:

“The cleaner you are, the dirtier you get” with a girl in a short skirt outline.

Not cool, for the record.

Also not cool: the line in the song that’s been stuck in my head all night about:

“My momma she told me don’t worry about your size; because the boys like a little more booty to hold at night.”

That’s the only reason not to care about your size? Really?

contrapangloss
6 years ago

The song’s actually pretty good overall, but that line rubs me in all the wrong ways.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

I just looked it up on YouTube. I made the mistake of looking at the comments. A size 2 can be still very thin, I wouldn’t call a 2 or a 4 curvy at all (depending on height). That’s more the bit that rubbed me the wrong way.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Just drove and that song played. Cancel my previous comment about I not being bad overall.

You can be body positive without saying people who aren’t like you are default “Skinny B——“. Or Barbies.

Growl.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Why do all the bouncy songs have awful lyrics?

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

@ gilshalos…Will keep my fingers crossed for you and all my other online peeps who depend on the…ehrm…benevolence of the UK government.

I’m able to work despite both asthma and a righteous case of brain cooties, in this I am fortunate.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Aunt Edna: If it’s the same Obsidian, he was an awful, tiresome blowhard when he decided to come here. He didn’t last.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

I wonder how many of these men who go on about beating women at the slightest hint of “disrespect” actually do that to other men for the same terrible crime?

I’m guessing none.

Malitia
Malitia
6 years ago

Speaking of boobs on comic book covers, has anyone stumbled across Grimm Fairy Tales?

*Raises hand* I did… and I so wanted to give it a chance as I like fractured/retold fairy tales. Actually I had several instances where I was all: “Now I will actually read some of this thing!” just to do an impression of the nopetopus when I looked at the cover.

So here I’m admitting, that I’m shallow and judge the book by its cover. Or at least a book should not intentionally repulse me with its cover, damn it.

Aunt Edna
Aunt Edna
6 years ago

@hellkell:

That sounds accurate.

katz
6 years ago

And the explanation for the boob comic:

In the original script I said there was a comic being held up without specifying what was on it, so Paul just drew a pair of breasts and I put the page up because at the time I saw nothing wrong with it, and when I put it on tumblr, the unfortunate implications never crossed my mind until they were pointed out to me.

Oh, to have the privilege to be that oblivious.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

@ LBT

(I said) …Reading an article about people in Macallen buying prepared junk with their SNAP cards, though.(/)

(you said) Horseshit. Some places have a program where some disabled/elderly people who can’t cook can have prepared food covered by food stamps, but it’s highly limited. Rich people love to crow about that though.(/)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2013/11/09/too-much-of-too-little/

Appears to be mainly a confluence of two things: simple carbs are way cheaper, and the people don’t have easy access to good sources of produce.
It’s a food desert issue.
( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_desert )

I’m not necessarily blaming my fellow poor people for eating like that. They have limited resources, limited time, limited energy, and holee shit do I know what that’s like.
The rest of my family eats all sorts of crap and they are financially just fine. Very large though.
I don’t wish type 2 diabetes on anybody, it’s evil.
I would like the people receiving assistance to not be stuck eating a bad diet.
Furthermore, it’s incredibly stupid public policy to cut bennies to the point that the people getting them will end up with health problems.

…I blame national agricultural policy that subsidizes the shit out of junk food, and fucking corn syrup. Corn syrup Is evil shit.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100322204628.htm

I no horseshit, LBT.
Maybe WaPo does though, I make no assertion about their journalistic integrity.

blahlistic (@blahlistic)

(actually..I don’t *knowingly* horseshit. I reserve the right to be mistaken)