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Are Street Harassers the REAL Victims of Street Harassment? One Men's Rights Redditor says "yes."

Not so fantastic, dude.
Not so fantastic, dude.

A new video from Vocativ features a number of young women describing the sexual harassment – from creepy catcalls to actual physical assaults – they and countless other women face on the streets every day; the unsettling video, in which one woman, a former beauty queen, recounts her own sexual assault on the Washington DC metro last year, has been seen more than 2 million times on YouTube in the eight days it’s been up. (I’ve pasted it in at the end of the post.)

Some of these viewers have been Men’s Rights activists, and a lot of them aren’t too happy about it. Not about the street harassment. About the women speaking up against it. Indeed, one new Men’s Rights Redditor by the name of liuetenantwaffleiron was so angered by the video that he sat down and wrote a 700 word rebuttal of sorts – which quickly won him dozens of upvotes from others on the subreddit.

He started off with a story of his heroic efforts to stand up against one of the evil sexy women in the video, and the terrible price he paid for expressing his so brave opinions on the subject on Facebook:

Dear ‘harassed’ in the provocative attire,

I need to say this, and I literally have nowhere else I can say it, so I figured I’d say it here, and to you. I was facebook unfriended today by commenting on the sexual harassment video that’s been going around that you’re in.

Unfriended. The horror!

You were the one who said she likes to “dress provocatively” but that you don’t want to “deal with it,” and who was carrying a hidden camera with her to document all her public ‘harassment’ you get.

This sounds like the worst “missed connections” ad ever.

I simply replied:

“Dresses provocatively; provokes.”

I wasn’t aware of this, but apparently we straight men can’t help but utter the words “baby” or “nice toes, ma,” or “I want to cum on your tits” or “pregnant pussy is the best pussycat” every time we’re “provoked” by a woman in a short skirt or a long skirt or pants and a shapeless sweater wandering into our field of vision.

On top of the instant shit storm that erupted at my insinuation that you ought not to have been surprised at the attention you intentionally attracted, I was subsequently unfriended by the poster, an industry colleague of mine.

Gosh, who would ever imagine that being a dick to a woman who’s getting sexually harassed could possibly cause you any problems in the work world? What an outrage!

On top of the despair I felt at not being able to say more than three words in criticism without fingertips shooting into ear canals, I tried to imagine who those ‘harassing’ men were who called out to you.

I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. I was too busy crying, thinking of the terrible “despair” you felt when your dickish and completely unoriginal comment didn’t get you a standing ovation and a tiny little medal.

While a vanishing minority may truly have been confident about their romantic prospects with you, there’s no doubt that most knew that they didn’t stand a chance in hell. Yet, there you sauntered, dressed as sexily as you could, meticulously made up, flaunting that fact; Rubbing it in their faces that they would never have a chance at catching the eye of such a beauty, much less to speak with you, so much less to touch you.

Wait, you’re actually angry that you can’t automatically score a date with – or at least get a chance to grope – every single attractive woman you see? You’re going to have a rough time here on planet earth, dude, as there are literally billions of women out there who will never sleep with you or let you touch them.

Are none of these women allowed to wear clothes that you might find sexy? Or are they obligated to have sex with you if they do?

Would you really rather they dressed as drably as possible, with no makeup? Somehow I suspect that this would make you even madder.

Everything you do is seems to be to attract a man, yet when a man presumes to express that attraction, you’re offended to the core, and you demand that the rest of us be as well.

“Express their attraction?” What video did you watch, anyway? The men in the video I watched were doing a lot more than “expressing their attraction.” The woman you’re so angry at — the one wearing a short skirt and a hidden camera – faced what seemed like an unending series of leers and crude remarks from men as she walked down city streets. The women being interviewed described men “expressing their attraction” by groping and threatening them.

You are one of the most privileged people on Earth, and you dare to complain that some men don’t know their place, and won’t suffer your insults in silence.

Really? Because I watched that same video, and what I saw was a woman in her twenties getting endless harassment from men, some literally twice her size, for the terrible crime of … being an attractive young woman in public. How exactly is this a sign that she’s privileged?

I ask you: Do some men cross a reasonable line of decency? Of course they do. Some masturbate, and grope. Some do worse.

Oh, sure. Men might pull out their dicks, or shove you up against the wall on the subway, or you know, do that thing that starts with the word “r,” but none of this matters as much as the DESPAIR our manifesto writer felt when people on Facebook got annoyed at him for being a dick.

Perhaps its because they’re mentally unstable, or perhaps it’s because they’re so socially marginalized that they have no longer have incentive to behave civilly.

Huh. Apparently in the world of liuetenantwaffleiron — and a lot of other Men’s Rightsers — every guy who ever victimizes a woman has an excuse. They’re mentally ill. They’re “socially marginalized.”  It’s never, say, that these guys are, you know, entitled shitheads who think they’re entitled to women’s bodies.

To paraphrase West Side Story, they’re depraved on account of they’re deprived — of a woman’s body, something that doesn’t actually belong to them.

In the cases illustrated in the video, I’m certain that there was no possibility of any of them having any sort of equal relationship with you, or to the other women featured, and you know it.

Really? Even if this were true, so fucking what? You’re not entitled to have a relationship — equal or otherwise — with any woman who strikes your fancy. You’re not entitled to harass every woman you see who’s out of your league, or already hitched, or just not interested in your asshole “nice guy” self.

In the absence of incentive to try to win your favor and to respect you, and in the presence of your garish flaunting to them of your unavailable sexuality, I have no doubt that some even grow to resent you.

Yeah, we picked up on that already, genius. As did every woman in the video, who saw clearly that the actions of the men who harassed them weren’t driven simply by attraction but by resentment and rage and a desire to demonstrate power over women they knew weren’t interested in them.

Whoever these predatory males are, they’re not me. I don’t know them. I don’t know where I can find them.

Really? Because you sound pretty much exactly like “these predatory males.” Maybe you haven’t harassed any women – yet – but your little manifesto is filled with the same toxic mixture of aggrieved entitlement that helps to fuel this kind of harassment.

I doubt they’re reading these words, or watching your videos. I’m terribly sorry they cross the line into physical contact, and stalking, and god knows what else, but we’re NOT those guys.

I hate to tell you this dude, but you’re already thinking like a harasser. I mean, you’re writing a 700-word manifesto attacking a woman you’ve never met because she had the temerity to walk down the street in a short skirt and record the harassment she got.

Yes, dressing sexily is absolutely your right, as is walking in that “provocative” outfit down the street while expecting a certain degree of civility from your countrymen. However …

Somehow I knew that “however” was coming.

However – know that your message to us is powerless to change the behavior of the ‘creeps’ that will physically harass you, and assault you, and worse.

Really? Then why are you getting so mad about the video? Somehow I suspect that you realize this sort of video does give harassed women a certain degree of power, both by shaming those men who might not realize how terrible their behavior really is, and by helping encourage and empower women to hollaback, as they say, at their harassers.

Your insistence to wear what you wear, and act as you act – while absolutely within your rights – undeniably makes you a more visible target to those perverts and predators.

And an even more visible target to the creepy entitled assholes of the Men’s Rights subreddit, apparently.

You are determined to ignore one of the most important factors in avoiding harassment and assault because you have the gall to be offended that lower-status males might dare to approach you.

And you, dude, have the gall to be offended by a woman talking frankly about the harassment she gets.

Furthermore, your constant antagonism of their attraction to you gives them reason to resent you.

No, I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for your own resentment here, given that it stems from an unacknowledged sense of entitlement.

These two factors expose you to risk that you simply don’t need to take, and I refuse to feel any guilt for your misadventures so long as you act with such a sense of entitlement and such a complete lack of common sense.

Well, forgive me for feeling no sorrow if no woman ever wants anything to do with your whiny, resentful, bitter ass.

ps- First time posting. Happy to be here

You’ll fit right in. Your sense of aggrieved entitlement is already pretty well-developed.

That, and access to the internet, is really all you need to be a Men’s Rights Activist.

Here’s the video. TRIGGER WARNING for detailed description of sexual assault:

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Shiraz
Shiraz
10 years ago

Woody, your dishonest false equivalency bullshit has no power here. Be gone.

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
10 years ago

@Woody: “It’s because the street harassment narrative is distorted feminist ideology.”

Nope, really isn’t. I have witnessed 50 year-old mother and 16-year-old sister get cat-calls on multiple occasions, and have seen how uncomfortable and unsafe it makes them feel. Street harassment is very much a real, everyday thing. It isn’t fun, it isn’t “complimentary”, and it isn’t a good idea, ever. So, do go suck an egg, you blisteringly ignorant twit.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

Please tell me someone has written some Woody/Elam slash fic… Please tell me this is a thing.

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
10 years ago

@kirbywarp: the only way it could end is with Elam whispering “No Homo” into woody’s ear. I won’t accept any other ending!

katz
10 years ago

I could adapt my Paul Ryan/Rush Limbaugh slash…

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
10 years ago

@katz: You have Paul Ryan/Rush Limbaugh slash? Oh, I need links to this.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

@BreakfastMan:

whispering “No Homo” into woody’s ear

*sniff* Beautiful, simply beautiful.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

@katz and cloudiah:

Oh god, I remember this.

khamzin
khamzin
10 years ago

baah i rememberd it wrong he didnt say sexualised he said objectified our selves and taken monopoly of sex … which to me when i wrote it sounded the same but rly thats worse ^^

marinerachel
marinerachel
10 years ago

Woody sounds like me in my last relationship.

You’re going to be in for a big, big hurt when you realise all that love/money you’re giving Elam is for nothing. It doesn’t contribute to the greater good and it doesn’t make him care about you. Any affection he shows is to keep the money coming. It will end when a) Paul stops asking you for money and thanking you for eating ramen and you realise your contributions and paise never actually meant anything to him or b) you realise after significant investment there will never be any return on the investment you’re making in Elam and his hate group.

It’s called being taken advantage of. Abusers do it without thinking.

You’re seeking approval from someone who has absolutely no concern for your wellbeing nor does anything they do contribute to your quality of life. What you need is some self-worth and to find orgs that actually do things that are shown to make positive changes in the world.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
10 years ago

Not sure I’m comfortable with the movement of this thread…

Could we please not go with “That level of devotion must be because Woody is gay”?

I’m more than happy to snark at the ever worshipful devotion, because that level of devotion is hilarious and ridiculous, and all sorts of mockable, but I’m not sure I want to mix it with sexual fantasies in my head.

RPF has always kind of squicked me out a bit, unless the characters were long dead (see historical fiction) and the actions were at least a little feasible.

Also, the mental pictures. Do not need.

I’m bowing out for now.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

contrapangloss, that’s a completely fair point. I certainly didn’t mean for it to be another one of those things like saying homophobes must be closeted.

Michael McG
Michael McG
10 years ago

@kirbywarp: the only way it could end is with Elam whispering “No Homo” into woody’s ear. I won’t accept any other ending!

That’s bothersomely homophobic.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
10 years ago

Bleh, sorry folks, this was a bad direction to go. 🙁

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
10 years ago

@Michael McG: I honestly thought of it more as mocking the homophobia of MRA’s by portraying them to be incredibly homophobic. I didn’t mean any offense, but if I did, I apologize.

cloudiah
10 years ago

I think of it as mocking homophobia too, but I’m more than happy to stop.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago

I thought the “No Homo” was definitely about MRA homophobia, and my snark at Woody’s undying devotion to Elam is about his pathetic hero-worshipping puppy-dog attitude, not about sex.

Alex
10 years ago

I read it as a kind of “If you [Woody in this case] love [Paul Elam] so much, why don’t you marry him?” I mean I’ve seen that used with people and objects and stuff. I didn’t really see it as implying they were gay. But that’s also just me. :/

Anyway, I’ve been chased while in a stinky winter coat, and gone out in a corset and skirt without so much as a whistle, so yeah, in my lived experience it really, really doesn’t matter what we wear. Harassers gonna harass.

Kim
Kim
10 years ago

@sunshinemary
So you were harassed the one time. It sounds like it was horrible, and I’m sorry that happened to you, but it leaves me wondering – have you never been harassed in a more low-level way say by a guy yelling out of a car at you for eg, or are you just not counting anything that’s not terrifying or illegal?

Because if you’ve only been harassed once in your entire life – wow, you’ve been amazingly lucky and it’s not surprising you have a hard time grasping how common street harassment is.

And if you’re dismissing everything else because you don’t think it’s a big deal then you’re deliberately ignoring how common street harassment is and the impact it has on other women. If nothing else it has impacted me financially because I have often paid more to live in areas where I get yelled at less.

Jen
Jen
10 years ago

What is going on in this threat? Seriously.
Now, this was a very interesting, chilling article. Thank you for doing this.

redpoppy
redpoppy
10 years ago

Please tell me someone has written some Woody/Elam slash fic… Please tell me this is a thing.

I laughed way too hard at this. XD

Also, glad to see everyone loves Bootsy so much! I love her too. She’s too adorable for this world.

Michael McG
Michael McG
10 years ago

@Michael McG: I honestly thought of it more as mocking the homophobia of MRA’s by portraying them to be incredibly homophobic. I didn’t mean any offense, but if I did, I apologize.

@kirbywarp Yeah, I posted while you were so I missed you clarification. My comment are mediated through yours.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Off topic: I told a Jezebel troll that it’s a false equivalency to compare a racist remark about black people with a “racist” remark about white people* because there’s no history of white people being systematically oppressed. That should be obvious but some people are really stupid. The fool comes back at me with Wikipedia links about Romans persecuting Christians (which according to some historians was greatly exaggerated), a slave revolt in Haiti and wait for it…the fucking holocaust! I just about died laughing. What an idiot. It struck me as so pathetic and hilarious I just had to share. With his lack of logic and knowledge of either intersectionality or history he would be right at home trolling here. But don’t worry, I won’t tell him about us!

* What makes this worse is that it took place in a thread about three high school football rapists being prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Needless to say, many commenters were happy that rape was being taken seriously for a change. This happiness gave some other troll a sad because it was taken as a sign that Jezzies hate white men.

BritterSweet
10 years ago

“What? It exists, but I can’t have it? What is this black magic?!

Why did you have bacon and eggs for breakfast instead of diet cereal? Don’t you care at all about your figure’s attractiveness to me?

You like having short hair? I don’t like seeing women with short hair. Wait, why did you cut it short? …Because you like short hair? BUT I DON’T LIKE SHORT HAIR!!

You wore a dress, and I like when a woman wears a dress. Therefore, you wore the dress because I like it! That’s right, random stranger, you exist for me.

Some guys harassed you? You’re accusing me of something I didn’t do! You talked about men doing something to you, and I’m a man. So therefore, you’re talking about ME!

What do you mean you have your own life? Can’t you see it’s all about me?!”

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