A new video from Vocativ features a number of young women describing the sexual harassment – from creepy catcalls to actual physical assaults – they and countless other women face on the streets every day; the unsettling video, in which one woman, a former beauty queen, recounts her own sexual assault on the Washington DC metro last year, has been seen more than 2 million times on YouTube in the eight days it’s been up. (I’ve pasted it in at the end of the post.)
Some of these viewers have been Men’s Rights activists, and a lot of them aren’t too happy about it. Not about the street harassment. About the women speaking up against it. Indeed, one new Men’s Rights Redditor by the name of liuetenantwaffleiron was so angered by the video that he sat down and wrote a 700 word rebuttal of sorts – which quickly won him dozens of upvotes from others on the subreddit.
He started off with a story of his heroic efforts to stand up against one of the evil sexy women in the video, and the terrible price he paid for expressing his so brave opinions on the subject on Facebook:
Dear ‘harassed’ in the provocative attire,
I need to say this, and I literally have nowhere else I can say it, so I figured I’d say it here, and to you. I was facebook unfriended today by commenting on the sexual harassment video that’s been going around that you’re in.
Unfriended. The horror!
You were the one who said she likes to “dress provocatively” but that you don’t want to “deal with it,” and who was carrying a hidden camera with her to document all her public ‘harassment’ you get.
This sounds like the worst “missed connections” ad ever.
I simply replied:
“Dresses provocatively; provokes.”
I wasn’t aware of this, but apparently we straight men can’t help but utter the words “baby” or “nice toes, ma,” or “I want to cum on your tits” or “pregnant pussy is the best pussycat” every time we’re “provoked” by a woman in a short skirt or a long skirt or pants and a shapeless sweater wandering into our field of vision.
On top of the instant shit storm that erupted at my insinuation that you ought not to have been surprised at the attention you intentionally attracted, I was subsequently unfriended by the poster, an industry colleague of mine.
Gosh, who would ever imagine that being a dick to a woman who’s getting sexually harassed could possibly cause you any problems in the work world? What an outrage!
On top of the despair I felt at not being able to say more than three words in criticism without fingertips shooting into ear canals, I tried to imagine who those ‘harassing’ men were who called out to you.
I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. I was too busy crying, thinking of the terrible “despair” you felt when your dickish and completely unoriginal comment didn’t get you a standing ovation and a tiny little medal.
While a vanishing minority may truly have been confident about their romantic prospects with you, there’s no doubt that most knew that they didn’t stand a chance in hell. Yet, there you sauntered, dressed as sexily as you could, meticulously made up, flaunting that fact; Rubbing it in their faces that they would never have a chance at catching the eye of such a beauty, much less to speak with you, so much less to touch you.
Wait, you’re actually angry that you can’t automatically score a date with – or at least get a chance to grope – every single attractive woman you see? You’re going to have a rough time here on planet earth, dude, as there are literally billions of women out there who will never sleep with you or let you touch them.
Are none of these women allowed to wear clothes that you might find sexy? Or are they obligated to have sex with you if they do?
Would you really rather they dressed as drably as possible, with no makeup? Somehow I suspect that this would make you even madder.
Everything you do is seems to be to attract a man, yet when a man presumes to express that attraction, you’re offended to the core, and you demand that the rest of us be as well.
“Express their attraction?” What video did you watch, anyway? The men in the video I watched were doing a lot more than “expressing their attraction.” The woman you’re so angry at — the one wearing a short skirt and a hidden camera – faced what seemed like an unending series of leers and crude remarks from men as she walked down city streets. The women being interviewed described men “expressing their attraction” by groping and threatening them.
You are one of the most privileged people on Earth, and you dare to complain that some men don’t know their place, and won’t suffer your insults in silence.
Really? Because I watched that same video, and what I saw was a woman in her twenties getting endless harassment from men, some literally twice her size, for the terrible crime of … being an attractive young woman in public. How exactly is this a sign that she’s privileged?
I ask you: Do some men cross a reasonable line of decency? Of course they do. Some masturbate, and grope. Some do worse.
Oh, sure. Men might pull out their dicks, or shove you up against the wall on the subway, or you know, do that thing that starts with the word “r,” but none of this matters as much as the DESPAIR our manifesto writer felt when people on Facebook got annoyed at him for being a dick.
Perhaps its because they’re mentally unstable, or perhaps it’s because they’re so socially marginalized that they have no longer have incentive to behave civilly.
Huh. Apparently in the world of liuetenantwaffleiron — and a lot of other Men’s Rightsers — every guy who ever victimizes a woman has an excuse. They’re mentally ill. They’re “socially marginalized.” It’s never, say, that these guys are, you know, entitled shitheads who think they’re entitled to women’s bodies.
To paraphrase West Side Story, they’re depraved on account of they’re deprived — of a woman’s body, something that doesn’t actually belong to them.
In the cases illustrated in the video, I’m certain that there was no possibility of any of them having any sort of equal relationship with you, or to the other women featured, and you know it.
Really? Even if this were true, so fucking what? You’re not entitled to have a relationship — equal or otherwise — with any woman who strikes your fancy. You’re not entitled to harass every woman you see who’s out of your league, or already hitched, or just not interested in your asshole “nice guy” self.
In the absence of incentive to try to win your favor and to respect you, and in the presence of your garish flaunting to them of your unavailable sexuality, I have no doubt that some even grow to resent you.
Yeah, we picked up on that already, genius. As did every woman in the video, who saw clearly that the actions of the men who harassed them weren’t driven simply by attraction but by resentment and rage and a desire to demonstrate power over women they knew weren’t interested in them.
Whoever these predatory males are, they’re not me. I don’t know them. I don’t know where I can find them.
Really? Because you sound pretty much exactly like “these predatory males.” Maybe you haven’t harassed any women – yet – but your little manifesto is filled with the same toxic mixture of aggrieved entitlement that helps to fuel this kind of harassment.
I doubt they’re reading these words, or watching your videos. I’m terribly sorry they cross the line into physical contact, and stalking, and god knows what else, but we’re NOT those guys.
I hate to tell you this dude, but you’re already thinking like a harasser. I mean, you’re writing a 700-word manifesto attacking a woman you’ve never met because she had the temerity to walk down the street in a short skirt and record the harassment she got.
Yes, dressing sexily is absolutely your right, as is walking in that “provocative” outfit down the street while expecting a certain degree of civility from your countrymen. However …
Somehow I knew that “however” was coming.
However – know that your message to us is powerless to change the behavior of the ‘creeps’ that will physically harass you, and assault you, and worse.
Really? Then why are you getting so mad about the video? Somehow I suspect that you realize this sort of video does give harassed women a certain degree of power, both by shaming those men who might not realize how terrible their behavior really is, and by helping encourage and empower women to hollaback, as they say, at their harassers.
Your insistence to wear what you wear, and act as you act – while absolutely within your rights – undeniably makes you a more visible target to those perverts and predators.
And an even more visible target to the creepy entitled assholes of the Men’s Rights subreddit, apparently.
You are determined to ignore one of the most important factors in avoiding harassment and assault because you have the gall to be offended that lower-status males might dare to approach you.
And you, dude, have the gall to be offended by a woman talking frankly about the harassment she gets.
Furthermore, your constant antagonism of their attraction to you gives them reason to resent you.
No, I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for your own resentment here, given that it stems from an unacknowledged sense of entitlement.
These two factors expose you to risk that you simply don’t need to take, and I refuse to feel any guilt for your misadventures so long as you act with such a sense of entitlement and such a complete lack of common sense.
Well, forgive me for feeling no sorrow if no woman ever wants anything to do with your whiny, resentful, bitter ass.
ps- First time posting. Happy to be here
You’ll fit right in. Your sense of aggrieved entitlement is already pretty well-developed.
That, and access to the internet, is really all you need to be a Men’s Rights Activist.
Here’s the video. TRIGGER WARNING for detailed description of sexual assault:
@woody
Are you capable of having a conversation or do you just endlessly spew failed gotchas and MRA anti-feminist spin? Hellkell was making a point about the dynamics of celebrities and their young female fans. You could have engaged with her, but instead you made a weak accusation that I bet you don’t even believe. You keep trying to win a non-existent ongoing debate you imagine you’re having with the posters here.
TLDR Shut up Woody.
Ninja’d by Kirbywarp.
And andiexist, yeesh this is a speedy thread.
did… did I just ninja two people with one comment? Is that a record? 😀
@brooked
Sorry for whatever I played in that. I am a fast typer.
The only reason I still find Woody entertaining is because I make a side bet to myself about which mammotheer will be the first to post
after each time I see him show up. Occasionally I take the honor for myself, when I’m not too busy with the snark.
The honor goes to the ninja, especially if they’re a kitty with a saber.
Woody never had any credibility to lose. The only change we’ve seen in him is that he doesn’t spend every post saying “Paul I love you I love yoouuuuuu take my money pleeeeease great one.”
andIexist is now mighty kitty with sword!
If you want to see how truly terrible the blockquote monster (aka blockquote mammoth) can be, have a look in the comments in your Welcome Package(s). Katz links to possibly its fiercest attack ever.
I am a kitty with a sword; does that count?
And, more importantly, is that semicolon supposed to be there?
Woody, I just posted a link to a study that shows that 65% percent of women have been harassed in their lifetime. Are you going to call hard empirical evidence a “distortion?”
AVfM does not “take” my money. I choose to give it to them.
Wow. Wow. That’s what he decides to reply to? XD
In the vain hope that Paul will luuuuuuurrrve you. Shut up, woody.
“I voluntarily give my money to bigots who advocate violence! Stop calling me a bad person!”
“take,” “tricked into giving,” tomato tomahto. How’d you react when it was revealed that you weren’t giving your money to AVfM, but to Paul Elam?
Because feeeeeelings which only matter when they are mine!
Kirbywarp,
He thinks Paul Elam is an amazing, honorable being who would totes never take advantage of donations and not actually use them to fund any charities or work to improve conditions for men in need.
Sorry, Woody, I stole your “Glory be to Saint Paul”.
Wait, not sorry. At all.
@Brooked
Ah okay good, I just didn’t want to be unclear. ^_^
“[Y]et harassment from a stranger can shut me down like freaked out 14 year old.”
–You definitely have my sympathies there, me too.
I think that aspect is at good illustration of the power dynamic at play… When you’re joking with your friends there’s a chance your comfort zone might be pushed but your friends have earned your trust, and you can push away from uncomfortable topics, you never have to be the object or subject of a discussion against your will and you have as much control as they do, a mutual exchange.
When a stranger broaches topics that make you uncomfortable, or treats you as the object of sexual attentions, there is no trust that this person will stop as they have already crossed past your comfort zone just by not concerning themself with your interest or not. They have all the control, and offer you none of it, not the least bit like a mutual exchange.
“Reddit OP doesn’t care about the mental state of women being harassed because his empathy only extends to guys just like himself.”
Too true. He has no concerns for it women don’t want to be approached. It’s clearly never occurred to him that *even IF* (strong and unlikely if) a woman on the street was dressing for attention specifically, that maybe she also has a very specific someone in mind for that attention, or maybe she’s only keen on chicks.
He can’t know, but as far as I can tell he doesn’t want to, he seems to think his assumptions are truth. Willful ignorance at it’s most yucky.
Oh lord, does the present tense of “choose to give” mean this is a continuing thing? How much money have you given them, Woody? They aren’t exactly a charity.
@kirbywarp
He has faith Paul will spend the money wisely and continue to make AVFM a grand achievement.
I know this because he’s reiterated his faith in Paul’s great leadership about seventy times. I hope you aren’t this boing and one note in real life Woody.
AHAHAHAHHA
Poor little Woody, is English so hard for you as that?
“Take my money, please” is what someone says when giving it. I’m actually doing that shyster you adore a favour in suggesting, however obliquely, that he wouldn’t clean out your wallet without a second thought. It’s your pathetic devotion to him I’m mocking, and saying “I give my money voluntarily” doesn’t disprove my point – it reinforces it.
Elam’s never gonna love you back, son. You’d better get used to that idea.
@contrapangloss:
Welp. I guess it just goes to show it takes all kinds. Maybe Elam Senpai will notice him one day.
*boring
But booing works too.
Welp, I’m off for the evening. Have fun, feed the trolls…
…to the cats. 😉
Niters!