A new video from Vocativ features a number of young women describing the sexual harassment – from creepy catcalls to actual physical assaults – they and countless other women face on the streets every day; the unsettling video, in which one woman, a former beauty queen, recounts her own sexual assault on the Washington DC metro last year, has been seen more than 2 million times on YouTube in the eight days it’s been up. (I’ve pasted it in at the end of the post.)
Some of these viewers have been Men’s Rights activists, and a lot of them aren’t too happy about it. Not about the street harassment. About the women speaking up against it. Indeed, one new Men’s Rights Redditor by the name of liuetenantwaffleiron was so angered by the video that he sat down and wrote a 700 word rebuttal of sorts – which quickly won him dozens of upvotes from others on the subreddit.
He started off with a story of his heroic efforts to stand up against one of the evil sexy women in the video, and the terrible price he paid for expressing his so brave opinions on the subject on Facebook:
Dear ‘harassed’ in the provocative attire,
I need to say this, and I literally have nowhere else I can say it, so I figured I’d say it here, and to you. I was facebook unfriended today by commenting on the sexual harassment video that’s been going around that you’re in.
Unfriended. The horror!
You were the one who said she likes to “dress provocatively” but that you don’t want to “deal with it,” and who was carrying a hidden camera with her to document all her public ‘harassment’ you get.
This sounds like the worst “missed connections” ad ever.
I simply replied:
“Dresses provocatively; provokes.”
I wasn’t aware of this, but apparently we straight men can’t help but utter the words “baby” or “nice toes, ma,” or “I want to cum on your tits” or “pregnant pussy is the best pussycat” every time we’re “provoked” by a woman in a short skirt or a long skirt or pants and a shapeless sweater wandering into our field of vision.
On top of the instant shit storm that erupted at my insinuation that you ought not to have been surprised at the attention you intentionally attracted, I was subsequently unfriended by the poster, an industry colleague of mine.
Gosh, who would ever imagine that being a dick to a woman who’s getting sexually harassed could possibly cause you any problems in the work world? What an outrage!
On top of the despair I felt at not being able to say more than three words in criticism without fingertips shooting into ear canals, I tried to imagine who those ‘harassing’ men were who called out to you.
I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. I was too busy crying, thinking of the terrible “despair” you felt when your dickish and completely unoriginal comment didn’t get you a standing ovation and a tiny little medal.
While a vanishing minority may truly have been confident about their romantic prospects with you, there’s no doubt that most knew that they didn’t stand a chance in hell. Yet, there you sauntered, dressed as sexily as you could, meticulously made up, flaunting that fact; Rubbing it in their faces that they would never have a chance at catching the eye of such a beauty, much less to speak with you, so much less to touch you.
Wait, you’re actually angry that you can’t automatically score a date with – or at least get a chance to grope – every single attractive woman you see? You’re going to have a rough time here on planet earth, dude, as there are literally billions of women out there who will never sleep with you or let you touch them.
Are none of these women allowed to wear clothes that you might find sexy? Or are they obligated to have sex with you if they do?
Would you really rather they dressed as drably as possible, with no makeup? Somehow I suspect that this would make you even madder.
Everything you do is seems to be to attract a man, yet when a man presumes to express that attraction, you’re offended to the core, and you demand that the rest of us be as well.
“Express their attraction?” What video did you watch, anyway? The men in the video I watched were doing a lot more than “expressing their attraction.” The woman you’re so angry at — the one wearing a short skirt and a hidden camera – faced what seemed like an unending series of leers and crude remarks from men as she walked down city streets. The women being interviewed described men “expressing their attraction” by groping and threatening them.
You are one of the most privileged people on Earth, and you dare to complain that some men don’t know their place, and won’t suffer your insults in silence.
Really? Because I watched that same video, and what I saw was a woman in her twenties getting endless harassment from men, some literally twice her size, for the terrible crime of … being an attractive young woman in public. How exactly is this a sign that she’s privileged?
I ask you: Do some men cross a reasonable line of decency? Of course they do. Some masturbate, and grope. Some do worse.
Oh, sure. Men might pull out their dicks, or shove you up against the wall on the subway, or you know, do that thing that starts with the word “r,” but none of this matters as much as the DESPAIR our manifesto writer felt when people on Facebook got annoyed at him for being a dick.
Perhaps its because they’re mentally unstable, or perhaps it’s because they’re so socially marginalized that they have no longer have incentive to behave civilly.
Huh. Apparently in the world of liuetenantwaffleiron — and a lot of other Men’s Rightsers — every guy who ever victimizes a woman has an excuse. They’re mentally ill. They’re “socially marginalized.” It’s never, say, that these guys are, you know, entitled shitheads who think they’re entitled to women’s bodies.
To paraphrase West Side Story, they’re depraved on account of they’re deprived — of a woman’s body, something that doesn’t actually belong to them.
In the cases illustrated in the video, I’m certain that there was no possibility of any of them having any sort of equal relationship with you, or to the other women featured, and you know it.
Really? Even if this were true, so fucking what? You’re not entitled to have a relationship — equal or otherwise — with any woman who strikes your fancy. You’re not entitled to harass every woman you see who’s out of your league, or already hitched, or just not interested in your asshole “nice guy” self.
In the absence of incentive to try to win your favor and to respect you, and in the presence of your garish flaunting to them of your unavailable sexuality, I have no doubt that some even grow to resent you.
Yeah, we picked up on that already, genius. As did every woman in the video, who saw clearly that the actions of the men who harassed them weren’t driven simply by attraction but by resentment and rage and a desire to demonstrate power over women they knew weren’t interested in them.
Whoever these predatory males are, they’re not me. I don’t know them. I don’t know where I can find them.
Really? Because you sound pretty much exactly like “these predatory males.” Maybe you haven’t harassed any women – yet – but your little manifesto is filled with the same toxic mixture of aggrieved entitlement that helps to fuel this kind of harassment.
I doubt they’re reading these words, or watching your videos. I’m terribly sorry they cross the line into physical contact, and stalking, and god knows what else, but we’re NOT those guys.
I hate to tell you this dude, but you’re already thinking like a harasser. I mean, you’re writing a 700-word manifesto attacking a woman you’ve never met because she had the temerity to walk down the street in a short skirt and record the harassment she got.
Yes, dressing sexily is absolutely your right, as is walking in that “provocative” outfit down the street while expecting a certain degree of civility from your countrymen. However …
Somehow I knew that “however” was coming.
However – know that your message to us is powerless to change the behavior of the ‘creeps’ that will physically harass you, and assault you, and worse.
Really? Then why are you getting so mad about the video? Somehow I suspect that you realize this sort of video does give harassed women a certain degree of power, both by shaming those men who might not realize how terrible their behavior really is, and by helping encourage and empower women to hollaback, as they say, at their harassers.
Your insistence to wear what you wear, and act as you act – while absolutely within your rights – undeniably makes you a more visible target to those perverts and predators.
And an even more visible target to the creepy entitled assholes of the Men’s Rights subreddit, apparently.
You are determined to ignore one of the most important factors in avoiding harassment and assault because you have the gall to be offended that lower-status males might dare to approach you.
And you, dude, have the gall to be offended by a woman talking frankly about the harassment she gets.
Furthermore, your constant antagonism of their attraction to you gives them reason to resent you.
No, I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for your own resentment here, given that it stems from an unacknowledged sense of entitlement.
These two factors expose you to risk that you simply don’t need to take, and I refuse to feel any guilt for your misadventures so long as you act with such a sense of entitlement and such a complete lack of common sense.
Well, forgive me for feeling no sorrow if no woman ever wants anything to do with your whiny, resentful, bitter ass.
ps- First time posting. Happy to be here
You’ll fit right in. Your sense of aggrieved entitlement is already pretty well-developed.
That, and access to the internet, is really all you need to be a Men’s Rights Activist.
Here’s the video. TRIGGER WARNING for detailed description of sexual assault:
@andiexist: I like your cat-emulation theory. It shows just another way in which misogynists have All The Fail.
You’re right about kitties resenting humans. I had some serious feline resentment going on before, because I was typing instead of standing petting Teh Kitteh at her preferred location. Harsh looks came my way.
Have you had a Welcome Package yet?
@sunshinesoutyourarsemary: FUCK OFF.
Granted I don’t know any pop stars with teen fans, but every time an adult male friend has complained about a female stranger behaving terribly it involved drinking, if not outright drunkenness. I know men who have been propositioned by acquaintances in a shocking array of awful ways, but if any of them have been sexually harassed by strange women in public I haven’t heard about it.
Andiexist! Being a newbie is all well and good. You’ll be troll spotting with the rest of us and develop a good sock-dar in time.
Love the nym, by the way.
Has anyone offered you a Welcome Package yet?
Ninja’d!
Oh, and here’s some research showing that the majority of harassers are men:
source
The following guy has been posting all over the internet, and his most worrisome post was recent:
If society wont accept me, they’ll pay dearly.
by Virgil » Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:01 pm
Where can one purchase the following:
-Grenades
-Rocket Launcher/RPG
-Explosives c4.
-Missiles (Preferrably the cheaper kind used by Hamas/ISiS etc)
-Launchers
-Assault rifles/Ammo.
-Chemical weapons/Launchers.
Sluthate is where all the puahate creeps have gone.
We get it, Woody, you really, really wish you were a male pop star.
The psychology behind some of these MRA’s kind of fascinates me. On one hand they’re really defensive, but on the other hand, they’re attempting to be protective, spinning excuses for these men, implying that if women just dressed different this wouldn’t happen, trying to rationalize and fix the situation. It’s a bizarre dichotomy.
For all their complaints about how street harassment is being exaggerated to make men look bad, how many of them would flatten some guy if they saw him doing that to a girlfriend of theirs? A daughter? A mother? I think many of them would be outraged.
Cognitive dissonance in the manosphere. I’ll write a paper about it one of these days. When biology and psychology go awry..
Mreh. I used to be a goth (I am now an Old Goth). I went to clubs where it wasn’t dangerous to be of an obviously non-hetero orientation.
I was vaguely cat-called by a woman once, that I can remember.
And yet it’s the guys who stick in my mind, like the one who asked me to dance with him, and when I smiled and said ‘No, I prefer to dance alone’ screamed ‘FRIGID BITCH!’ and shook his hand in my face.
Or the guy who just put his hand down my top. Randomly. And who got angry at me when I freaked out.
Or, or, or, etc.
It’s like saying dog attacks are better called ‘companion animal attacks’ because sometimes the odd cat will decide out of the convoluted recesses of its tiny mind to just fling itself on someone. Sure, it happens. And no one wants to be on the receiving end – it’s unpleasant, and it’s happened to me, and it does involve stitches.
But. It just. Isn’t as. Common. Using neutral language makes it seem like it is, and that’s choosing to misrepresent the situation.
And the reason the majority of harassers are men is not “men are terrible” or “men are worse than women.” It’s just that men get lots of reinforcement for the idea that they’re entitled to behave that way, and only frigid prudes would resent it or take it as anything but a compliment — and relatively little reinforcement for the idea that women are people it’s worth treating with empathy and respect.
@Shiraz, I don’t think we should assume Woody would welcome being groped and harassed. 🙁 Even though he’s an asshat.
And complaining about language is triply silly when the context is a non-professional video about a particular woman’s experiences. It’s not supposed to be exact language. I’m sure if pressed she would happily say that she doesn’t get harassed by every single man she meets. Complaining about the language is just another distraction from the main issue, no matter how much sympathy you say you have beforehand.
@sunshinemary
It’s hard to take any comment seriously that starts out with a disclaimer, of the “I’m really on your side despite everything I’m about to say that is going to make it sound otherwise.” If you know you’re about to say things that are going to make it sound like you are not on someone’s side, enough that you need to disclaimer how this isn’t true, maybe it would help if you think a little bit about why this is how it is.
Men are the problem because men put up with it. Men aid and abet other men doing it. Watch the video again and note how many men tell their bros “hey, that wasn’t cool, stop that, you’re being a douchenozzle.” It’s zero. You see this occurring zero times, and not because you’re seeing short clips. It’s because men almost never call out other men for being douchenozzles. Even when men are thinking, “wow, that wasn’t cool, you shouldn’t do that,” the words do not come out of their mouths. They may be quiet, they may ignore it, they may smile, they may pretend to go along with it because they don’t want to cause friction with their friends or with strangers who could potentially be dangerous and they’d rather that women face that danger instead.
Men are the problem because some men do it and almost all men tolerate it.
That’s not okay, and it’s also not relevant.
I actually agree with this, but this is a derail. This is not the place for the “women need to learn that the so-called platonic touch is actually not okay” discussion. That’s a discussion for another time and place and irrelevant to this one.
contrapangloss – there’s ninjaed and there’s ninjaed by a MOD. That’s extra ninja-y ninja-ing, that is.
Or so the ninja kitty tells me.
Thank you for the welcome packages!
@contrapangloss
I am glad you like the name! I’d go into a big long thing on why I chose it, but I doubt people want to listen to that when they could be mocking sexist jerks. 😀
Awww, I thought he was giving out the old, “I’d love it if this happened to me” sentiment. **Shrug**
Err, sorry?
@Shiraz:
Nah, he just thought it was a “gotcha” quote.
If Ninjakitty says so, it must be true.
All hail Ninjakitty! (Once we get done hailing Bootsy)
Though Woody as a wannabe rock star is an amusing image.
Yeah, it seems like generally speaking rock stars have this thing called charisma which Woody has none of.
All hail all the kitties!
Woody wouldn’t even have made “kicked out of the garage band” level. He’d never have been allowed to join.
So. SunshineMary pops in for a “not all men” and Woody tries for a “gotcha” that really isn’t.
That was…weird reading.
I’m not sure it’s a *tiny* minority of men who harass women on the street, but in the US, it is a minority. That being said, why is it so terrible for men to understand how much street harassment women face? The problem seems to be, “I was asked to care about something that doesn’t directly affect me.” If you don’t harass women, have a cookie. Then try to hear what women are saying. If you want to go the extra mile, perhaps ask how you can help.
Famous people getting mobbed is a complete red herring. When someone achieves a certain level of celebrity, they might need to get body guards. This is an extremely rare problem, and most celebrities have dedicated their lives to achieving that kind of fame. This is what is referred to as a “high quality problem.” Street harassment is something many women face every day. It is not high quality. It is simply a problem.
I am now a kitty with a sword. :3