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Are Street Harassers the REAL Victims of Street Harassment? One Men's Rights Redditor says "yes."

Not so fantastic, dude.
Not so fantastic, dude.

A new video from Vocativ features a number of young women describing the sexual harassment – from creepy catcalls to actual physical assaults – they and countless other women face on the streets every day; the unsettling video, in which one woman, a former beauty queen, recounts her own sexual assault on the Washington DC metro last year, has been seen more than 2 million times on YouTube in the eight days it’s been up. (I’ve pasted it in at the end of the post.)

Some of these viewers have been Men’s Rights activists, and a lot of them aren’t too happy about it. Not about the street harassment. About the women speaking up against it. Indeed, one new Men’s Rights Redditor by the name of liuetenantwaffleiron was so angered by the video that he sat down and wrote a 700 word rebuttal of sorts – which quickly won him dozens of upvotes from others on the subreddit.

He started off with a story of his heroic efforts to stand up against one of the evil sexy women in the video, and the terrible price he paid for expressing his so brave opinions on the subject on Facebook:

Dear ‘harassed’ in the provocative attire,

I need to say this, and I literally have nowhere else I can say it, so I figured I’d say it here, and to you. I was facebook unfriended today by commenting on the sexual harassment video that’s been going around that you’re in.

Unfriended. The horror!

You were the one who said she likes to “dress provocatively” but that you don’t want to “deal with it,” and who was carrying a hidden camera with her to document all her public ‘harassment’ you get.

This sounds like the worst “missed connections” ad ever.

I simply replied:

“Dresses provocatively; provokes.”

I wasn’t aware of this, but apparently we straight men can’t help but utter the words “baby” or “nice toes, ma,” or “I want to cum on your tits” or “pregnant pussy is the best pussycat” every time we’re “provoked” by a woman in a short skirt or a long skirt or pants and a shapeless sweater wandering into our field of vision.

On top of the instant shit storm that erupted at my insinuation that you ought not to have been surprised at the attention you intentionally attracted, I was subsequently unfriended by the poster, an industry colleague of mine.

Gosh, who would ever imagine that being a dick to a woman who’s getting sexually harassed could possibly cause you any problems in the work world? What an outrage!

On top of the despair I felt at not being able to say more than three words in criticism without fingertips shooting into ear canals, I tried to imagine who those ‘harassing’ men were who called out to you.

I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. I was too busy crying, thinking of the terrible “despair” you felt when your dickish and completely unoriginal comment didn’t get you a standing ovation and a tiny little medal.

While a vanishing minority may truly have been confident about their romantic prospects with you, there’s no doubt that most knew that they didn’t stand a chance in hell. Yet, there you sauntered, dressed as sexily as you could, meticulously made up, flaunting that fact; Rubbing it in their faces that they would never have a chance at catching the eye of such a beauty, much less to speak with you, so much less to touch you.

Wait, you’re actually angry that you can’t automatically score a date with – or at least get a chance to grope – every single attractive woman you see? You’re going to have a rough time here on planet earth, dude, as there are literally billions of women out there who will never sleep with you or let you touch them.

Are none of these women allowed to wear clothes that you might find sexy? Or are they obligated to have sex with you if they do?

Would you really rather they dressed as drably as possible, with no makeup? Somehow I suspect that this would make you even madder.

Everything you do is seems to be to attract a man, yet when a man presumes to express that attraction, you’re offended to the core, and you demand that the rest of us be as well.

“Express their attraction?” What video did you watch, anyway? The men in the video I watched were doing a lot more than “expressing their attraction.” The woman you’re so angry at — the one wearing a short skirt and a hidden camera – faced what seemed like an unending series of leers and crude remarks from men as she walked down city streets. The women being interviewed described men “expressing their attraction” by groping and threatening them.

You are one of the most privileged people on Earth, and you dare to complain that some men don’t know their place, and won’t suffer your insults in silence.

Really? Because I watched that same video, and what I saw was a woman in her twenties getting endless harassment from men, some literally twice her size, for the terrible crime of … being an attractive young woman in public. How exactly is this a sign that she’s privileged?

I ask you: Do some men cross a reasonable line of decency? Of course they do. Some masturbate, and grope. Some do worse.

Oh, sure. Men might pull out their dicks, or shove you up against the wall on the subway, or you know, do that thing that starts with the word “r,” but none of this matters as much as the DESPAIR our manifesto writer felt when people on Facebook got annoyed at him for being a dick.

Perhaps its because they’re mentally unstable, or perhaps it’s because they’re so socially marginalized that they have no longer have incentive to behave civilly.

Huh. Apparently in the world of liuetenantwaffleiron — and a lot of other Men’s Rightsers — every guy who ever victimizes a woman has an excuse. They’re mentally ill. They’re “socially marginalized.”  It’s never, say, that these guys are, you know, entitled shitheads who think they’re entitled to women’s bodies.

To paraphrase West Side Story, they’re depraved on account of they’re deprived — of a woman’s body, something that doesn’t actually belong to them.

In the cases illustrated in the video, I’m certain that there was no possibility of any of them having any sort of equal relationship with you, or to the other women featured, and you know it.

Really? Even if this were true, so fucking what? You’re not entitled to have a relationship — equal or otherwise — with any woman who strikes your fancy. You’re not entitled to harass every woman you see who’s out of your league, or already hitched, or just not interested in your asshole “nice guy” self.

In the absence of incentive to try to win your favor and to respect you, and in the presence of your garish flaunting to them of your unavailable sexuality, I have no doubt that some even grow to resent you.

Yeah, we picked up on that already, genius. As did every woman in the video, who saw clearly that the actions of the men who harassed them weren’t driven simply by attraction but by resentment and rage and a desire to demonstrate power over women they knew weren’t interested in them.

Whoever these predatory males are, they’re not me. I don’t know them. I don’t know where I can find them.

Really? Because you sound pretty much exactly like “these predatory males.” Maybe you haven’t harassed any women – yet – but your little manifesto is filled with the same toxic mixture of aggrieved entitlement that helps to fuel this kind of harassment.

I doubt they’re reading these words, or watching your videos. I’m terribly sorry they cross the line into physical contact, and stalking, and god knows what else, but we’re NOT those guys.

I hate to tell you this dude, but you’re already thinking like a harasser. I mean, you’re writing a 700-word manifesto attacking a woman you’ve never met because she had the temerity to walk down the street in a short skirt and record the harassment she got.

Yes, dressing sexily is absolutely your right, as is walking in that “provocative” outfit down the street while expecting a certain degree of civility from your countrymen. However …

Somehow I knew that “however” was coming.

However – know that your message to us is powerless to change the behavior of the ‘creeps’ that will physically harass you, and assault you, and worse.

Really? Then why are you getting so mad about the video? Somehow I suspect that you realize this sort of video does give harassed women a certain degree of power, both by shaming those men who might not realize how terrible their behavior really is, and by helping encourage and empower women to hollaback, as they say, at their harassers.

Your insistence to wear what you wear, and act as you act – while absolutely within your rights – undeniably makes you a more visible target to those perverts and predators.

And an even more visible target to the creepy entitled assholes of the Men’s Rights subreddit, apparently.

You are determined to ignore one of the most important factors in avoiding harassment and assault because you have the gall to be offended that lower-status males might dare to approach you.

And you, dude, have the gall to be offended by a woman talking frankly about the harassment she gets.

Furthermore, your constant antagonism of their attraction to you gives them reason to resent you.

No, I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for your own resentment here, given that it stems from an unacknowledged sense of entitlement.

These two factors expose you to risk that you simply don’t need to take, and I refuse to feel any guilt for your misadventures so long as you act with such a sense of entitlement and such a complete lack of common sense.

Well, forgive me for feeling no sorrow if no woman ever wants anything to do with your whiny, resentful, bitter ass.

ps- First time posting. Happy to be here

You’ll fit right in. Your sense of aggrieved entitlement is already pretty well-developed.

That, and access to the internet, is really all you need to be a Men’s Rights Activist.

Here’s the video. TRIGGER WARNING for detailed description of sexual assault:

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contrapangloss
10 years ago

That Vonnegut piece…

His using the big city fire apparatus as a simile made me daydream of the new rig we’re supposedly getting “soon”. Then I remembered I was supposed to be trying to picture a lady, and ended up imagining a person dressed in an enormous cardboard box painted like a fire engine, with hands, feet, and head sticking out of holes.

I still can’t picture Susanna.

In other news, the comments make me sad, because on comment dude still didn’t get it and was whining about how he’ll never find his Susanna.

Blargh and ARGLEBARGLE!!

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

Things like this make me so very glad that I turned out gay. I was kind of a jerk to some guys back in college, but nothing like that.

That said, I know that NAMALT. I’m related to several.

ccharlotte80
10 years ago

How you dress has nothing to do with it. I wear baggy trousers and trainers pretty much any time I can get away with it (i.e. not at a dressy work function – where I’ll still wear a pants suit and flats – or wedding), and I still get harassed. There’s a lot less of it now I’m in my thirties, which is a relief, except – and this baffles me – when it’s cold and I’m wearing a woolly hat. My woolly hat, apparently, screams provocation.

Ally S
10 years ago

Things I do when I see a cute girl on the street:

1. Think to myself “Wow that girl is cute” while walking
2. Keep walking

Not that fucking hard, dudes. I have no sympathy for you.

Miss. M
Miss. M
10 years ago

The youtube comments on that video are especially gross. Most men truly do not understand what it is like to be harassed on the street repeatedly. The men in the youtube comments seem to be under the impression that if you’re a woman, and you dress “nice” that day, you’re just “asking for it” [to be harassed], or you’re dressing like that intentionally to get attention.

Women like to wear what they want. Why do women constantly have to take men’s boners into consideration when it comes to going out into public? A woman should be able to show as much or as little skin as she wants to, and not get verbally or physically assaulted, period.

Sure, comments like “hey beautiful” are rather innocuous in nature. Catcalls like that are different then the ones where men are commenting about specific body parts, or saying very sexually charged, derogatory commentary. It still doesn’t mean women want to CONSTANTLY be fucking told, on the street, how fuckable they look that day.

ALSO, street harassment doesn’t necessarily come from men just cat calling at women in skimpy clothing. Hell, i’v been harassed in the middle of winter, walking home in a full length winter coat, WITH the hood up over my head, and STILL been harassed by men driving by in their cars. I’v had men follow me in vehicles, on bikes, on foot. It’s freaking scary when someone keeps driving up and down the street trying to demand you come over to their car and “get in”.

I never see women fucking acting that way. You don’t see women driving around, screaming from their vehicles at men wearing wife beater shirts or shorts. Women don’t seem to objectify men in such a gross and demeaning way.

Just because a woman is attractive, doesn’t mean she has to just sit there and accept that every single damn time she leaves the house, her appearance is C.O.N.S.T.A.N.T.L.Y seen as being an aggressor / instigator for her own harassment.

It’s not about these women just not “accepting compliments” or them being “stuck up bitches” because they reject all these men. It’s about the fact it’s scary, intimidating, and demeaning to be treated like that all the damn time.

House Mouse Queen
10 years ago

This triggers me badly. I was walking with my umbrella in the rain. Now I’m only 5’2″ and I purposely hold the umbrella lower down to avoid street harassment. I couldn’t avoid it this one time though. A 6′ something guy bent down under my umbrella and popped up in my face telling me to smile and giving me that smirk b/c he knew he was fucking with me.

I made a video about it on Youtube and that stupid Divinity bully got all her friends to make videos saying I was against homeless people. She’s such a bully. So WOMEN, those sex pos bullies on Youtube denied my experience and made it my fault for not liking street harassment.

Ally S
10 years ago

@House Mouse Queen

:: offers hugs ::

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

The thing that “provokes” harassment is being visibly female. Doesn’t matter what you wear, if men can tell that you’re female, they may harass you.

Also, just to be clear, do some of the people commenting on that video believe that women would be fine with random men wanking at us in public if the wankers in question were just handsome enough? Because if so, wow.

katz
10 years ago

On top of the despair I felt at not being able to say more than three words in criticism without fingertips shooting into ear canals

This guy literally thinks he has a right to be listened to and that other people are violating his rights for ignoring him. Not even telling him to shut up or anything, just not listening to him.

Ally S
10 years ago

The thing that “provokes” harassment is being visibly female. Doesn’t matter what you wear, if men can tell that you’re female, they may harass you.

Men will also harass if you look “male” but have body language/behavior/other cues that isn’t seen as stereotypically male. MRAs would like to believe that this is misandry, but in fact it’s a common form of harassment against trans women, not cis men.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Actually cis men who are perceived as not correctly fulfilling their role as men are harassed by other men too. Gaybashing, it’s a thing.

Bina
10 years ago

While a vanishing minority may truly have been confident about their romantic prospects with you, there’s no doubt that most knew that they didn’t stand a chance in hell. Yet, there you sauntered, dressed as sexily as you could, meticulously made up, flaunting that fact; Rubbing it in their faces that they would never have a chance at catching the eye of such a beauty, much less to speak with you, so much less to touch you.

Keep crying, dude, my bathtub is almost full!

Ally S
10 years ago

Of course queer men also experience harassment for perceived gender non-conformity. I just mentioned trans women because they count as women who are harassed despite not being literally perceived as female.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

You might want to try doing so in a way that doesn’t specifically exclude gay men who’re perceived as unambiguously male, but non-conforming, from the category of people who get harassed by men in the future.

Ally S
10 years ago

Yeah, it was poor wording on my part. Apologies to queer men who have been harassed.

@Michael McG

Isn’t this the quintessential example of Male Tears™?

Pretty much. Male Tears has always referred to the phenomenon of men expressing grief over the fact that people aren’t okay with them expressing male entitlement.

Shiraz
Shiraz
10 years ago

I think asshole OP guy is of the “It’s a compliment! I’d love to get constant attention” camp.
But it’s easy to go that route when you don’t believe in rape culture.

I always just assumed catcallers like scaring women. You know, punishing them for being outside.
And the dudes who are all about wanting a pretty lady — well, the angry ones want one, but they hate them too. It’s a way of having an attractive women pay attention to you for a few seconds while you punish her for being out of your league.

YoullNeverGuess
YoullNeverGuess
10 years ago

In other news, the comments make me sad, because on comment dude still didn’t get it and was whining about how he’ll never find his Susanna.

Blargh and ARGLEBARGLE!!

I didn’t think to read the comments. I read the story when I was much younger, and it stayed with me. Namely, “Someone lives inside here too,” and “I am not Yellowstone Park.” When men defend street harassment, it always sounds to me like they think that attractive women are some type of government service, like water fountains. Water fountains don’t get to dictate who uses them. They are free.

taitaisanchez
10 years ago

Actually cis men who are perceived as not correctly fulfilling their role as men are harassed by other men too. Gaybashing, it’s a thing.

It’s more than just gay bashing. Being straight and cis but non traditionally masculine is a whole other set of micro aggressions, and well just aggressions.

To paraphrase West Side Story, they’re depraved on account of they’re deprived — of a woman’s body, something that doesn’t actually belong to them.

They are certain deprived. Of coping mechanisms and socialization that lets them see a better picture of what life is like for everyone. Certainly there are also cases of neuro atypical behavior too. But to say, “well some of them are crazy” is a basket of problems.

But that’s an argument I never hear from the MRA side. Funny that.

Shiraz
Shiraz
10 years ago

Also, what kind of asshole gets angry when they see a pretty person? An self-entitled — yet self-hating douchebro who wants to be the center of the universe, I guess.

strivingally
10 years ago

Yeah, the sliding scale of obnoxious gender policing is so stupid. At the shallow end, as a cishet male who doesn’t necessarily present as traditionally masculine, I’ve had people give me funny looks and pay me out for wearing a piece of pink equipment to work. Like it freaking matters. At work I’ve seen other people on the receiving end of far worse for not adhering to the gender binary but usually by insinuation, so it’s really hard sometimes to say “Knock that shit off” when you can’t point to a single thing that they’ve said or done that is obviously problematic. Or that you’d have to spend an awfully long time explaining the basis of its problematicness to people who don’t even see ways of looking at the world beyond “men are like this, women are like that”.

cosmicrays
cosmicrays
10 years ago

Dozens of upvotes!

Oh my!

Bina
10 years ago

Whoever these predatory males are, they’re not me. I don’t know them. I don’t know where I can find them.

If you think you’re entitled to be heard for saying ugly things to a pretty woman, then yes, you ARE one. You just don’t know it, and you don’t know about the others either, because you can’t seem to get your head out of your own pants, fella. (The big head, I mean. Leave the little one in there, please.)

And has it ever occurred to you that even pretty girls can be socially awkward, insecure and shy? NO? Well, here’s a shocker: We’re not all born confident, even if we’re born beautiful!

So gee, thanks a lot for a whole lotta NOTHING, dude. And if you think you have a right and a duty to undermine a woman’s self-confidence just because her clothes “provoked” you, you deserve a whole lotta nothing in return. (Except insults, and being pointedly ignored. You deserve those in abundance.)

Abacus Toms
Abacus Toms
10 years ago

The video has 3k dislikes vs. 2k likes. Did they brigade it or is youtube generally that awful?

Ally S
10 years ago

Probably both.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

Rubbing it in their faces that they would never have a chance at catching the eye of such a beauty, much less to speak with you, so much less to touch you.

Misogynists are so self-obsessed that they imagine everyone else must be obsessed with them, too. Here’s the shocking truth, assface: the vast majority of women you encounter don’t give a fuck whether you find them attractive or not, don’t give a fuck what you’re thinking about, won’t remember you 5 seconds after you pass us on the street. We’re definitely not going to bother cooking up outrageous schemes (like having a body in public) just to torture your sad, entitled little butt.