You may have run across an image macro going around the internet recently featuring a picture of YouTube ranter and sometime Men’s Rights ally The Amazing Atheist โ aka Terroja or TJ Kinkaid โ and an appalling quote, supposedly from him, arguing that MRAs should campaign to lower the age of consent, because โ[n]ature already has an age of consent. That age is approximately 12-13, otherwise known as the onset of puberty.โ
I didn’t post about the quote, appalling as it is, because I couldn’t find any proof that Mr. Kincaid actually wrote or said it; I even searched several of Mr. Kincaid’s books and a document entitled โThe Somewhat Complete Ravings of TJ Kincaidโ to no avail. Apparently no one else has been able to find the quote either.
If this quote was fabricated, I’m a little puzzled as to why, because Kincaid has actually said very similar things before. Given the confusion about the quote, I thought it might be worth noting what we know he has said on the topic.
In a 2006 posting on a Marilyn Manson fan site, linked to in RationalWiki’s profile of him, a self-identified โatheist libertarianโ calling himself Terroja argued that
Having pedophilic attractions doesn’t mean you automatically go out and start molesting kids. From the time I was 14 to the time I was about 19, I used to have extreme pedophilic fantasies, and I somehow managed to never even come close to acting on them. I think with my brain, not my penis.
I do think, however, the pedophilia is unfairly persecuted in today’s society.
I think the difference in punishment between child rapists and child molestors should be more significant, with molestors perhaps simply attending mandatory therapy for their first offense. I also think that the age of sexual consent should be lowered to 12 or 13.
My stance is not designed to be controversial or to offend anyone. I only want human beings to understand that the law must work within the parameters of human nature, not in defiance of it.
In a recent posting on his blog, Kincaid admits that this indeed is something he once believed:
The age of consent thing is based on a post I made on an internet forum when I was like 20. And it was actually a pretty popular sentiment on the boards at that time. Hell, it was a popular sentiment on the internet in general at that time. It was also, Iโm sad to say, an opinion that my father held.
After experiencing another decade on planet earth, I realize how horribly misguided that opinion was and is. I think that maybe itโs not so horrible for kids that age to begin sexual exploration with one another, but itโs definitely wrong for an adult to engage is sex with someone that young and inexperienced.ย
The โeveryone else was a pedophile in 2006โ argument is not exactly a convincing one, and it’s worth noting that Kincaid โconfessedโ his attraction towards underage girls in his self-published 2007 book โScumbag: Musings of a Subhumanโ as well, writing that
I think 14-year-old girls are hot. (Yeah, so does everyone else, but I actually admit it)
That’s what pedophiles would like to believe, but it’s not actually true.
Also, in โThe Somewhat Complete Ravings of TJ Kincaid,โ which seems to be a compilation of writings from several of his books, we find the following passage:
Teenage girls are annoying because they go out into public dressed like sluts and then if you look at their massive titties there is a segment of our society that will happily declare you a pedophile for โoggling those poor children.โ Children, my ass. Children don’t have D cups. Children don’t have big, luscious round asses crammed into designer jeans.
For what it’s worth, the word is โogling,โ not โoggling.โ
Even more troubling than these quotes is the fact that Kincaid also claimed at one point that he โdatedโ a 14-year-old when he was 23.
In his recent posting, he insists that he was only joking:
As for this nonsense about me dating a 14-year-old when I was 23, I was actually mocking a friend of mine who was over 30 and was macking on some 16-year-old girl. The sad fact is that when I was 23, I was single and pussyless. And I was too timid and frightened to even approach a girl sexually, let alone one who could wind me up in prison.
I have no trouble believing that he was lying about having an underage girlfriend, but his explanation doesn’t seem to jibe with what he โ or someone claiming to be him โ said in the very strange (and not altogether safe for work) video that seems to be the source for what Kincaid calls this โrumorโ about him.
Roughly 30 minutes into the video, which shows a live BlogTV session between YouTube personality thefakesagan and some guests inย an internet chatroom, we see someone identified as theamazingatheist declare flatly in the chat session that โas a 23-year-old I dated a 14-year-old briefly.โ
When the expletive-spewing thefakesagan asks him what it was that led him to stop โdatingโ the 14-year-old so quickly, theamazingatheist replies โfear of her dad murdering me,โ adding in a followup comment that โhe was a Marine, actually.โ
When the host, burping and fiddling with a bass guitar, asks theamazingatheist if he actually felt “an emotional bond with this 14-year-old bitch,โ themazingatheist replies โI felt an emotional bond with her pussy.โ
โSorry,โ he types a few moments later, โI’m a sociopath, useless in the ways of love.โ
The host then spends a few moments fumbling with his instrument, trying ineptly to work out the bassline to Michael Jackson’s โBeat It.โ โYou better run, you better do what you’re told,โ he sings, โTJ’s in the back room fucking a 14-year-old.โ
The conversation moves on, and I think I will too.
But now that I’ve gotten hold of some of TJ’s masterworks, I think I’ll have to see what else is hiding within them. I suspect I’ll be posting about that shortly.
Hugs are always accepted, kittehserf. ๐ Sorry to hear that shit was done to your husband, though.
I’ve never actually baked anything before, unless you count an easy-bake oven. lol I make an awesome pasta, though!
It’s okay, Alex. He’s loooong since healed, over there in Spirit.
My pastas are splendid, too. Straight from freezer to oven!
Alex & LBT, and any other victims, I’m so sorry that happened to you. cassandrakitty, so sorry that happened to your mother. Sexual assault breaks my heart, but when children are hurt it’s a super-terrible level of awful.
Hugs to anyone who wants ’em, especially those assaulted by pedophiles. And if hugs aren’t wanted, I send you whatever things that comfort you: kittens, penguins, baby elephants, fishes, Dr. Who episodes, etc.
Supporting victims, not predators, is what made me a feminist and a socialist. I plan to keep doing that until I die.
(I do support exploring therapeutic treatments for non-offending pedophiles, but only because they might actually prevent future victims and NOT OUT OF SYMPATHY FOR PEDOPHILES because ohmydog I’m not going there.)
If someone who’s a pedophile wants to prove that they deserve my sympathy, they can do so by not molesting any children.
@cassandrakitty,
Yup. Also, sorry to hear that happened to your mother. :/
“(I do support exploring therapeutic treatments for non-offending pedophiles, but only because they might actually prevent future victims and NOT OUT OF SYMPATHY FOR PEDOPHILES because ohmydog Iโm not going there.)”
“If someone whoโs a pedophile wants to prove that they deserve my sympathy, they can do so by not molesting any children.”
I cringe just a little bit every time I hear Dan Savage use the term “Gold Star Pedophile” for pedophiles who don’t act on it. I have some sympathy for them, but they don’t exactly deserve a reward. Lack of punishment is enough.
Gold star pedophile? Oh ew. No. If someone doesn’t act on it, that’s great and I also support them having access to treatment. But that phrase is just, no.
I was a big fan of Dan Savage when I was younger and I still want to like him but he really makes it difficult sometimes.
Gold Star Peophile? Holy shit, I didn’t think I could despise Savage more than I did, but this? Not raping children deserves some sort of metaphorical reward?
There aren’t enough sharp pointy legos in the world for Savage.
Truth. If we knew someone wanted to murder people and refrained, we wouldn’t call them a “gold star murderer.” We would say that is the bare minimum standard of decency (not murdering, not raping, etc.) that an ethical human expects. No fucking gold star until/unless you do something amazing; not just NOT do something terrible.
We’re back to “you don’t get cookies for being a decent human being” again.
Shit, I was looking forward to my cookies. I was going to eat them before the bonbons and before I light a (*very lightly* vanilla) scented fucking candle.
Nthing the notion that the causes of pedophilia are irrelevant to any discussion of child sexual abuse. Pedophiles are not some poor, misunderstood and marginalized group of people. They are supported by society at large because rape culture condones CSA. I am highly skeptical of any claim about pedophilia being an innate psychological trait or a sexual orientation because nearly all of those claims just serve to pathologize child abusers in a way that grants them undue sympathy. I think it’s fair to say that pedophilia is nothing more than a product of a culture that doesn’t value the bodily agency of children and supports a conception of sexuality that is entirely rooted in non-consent. Many rapists like raping other people – if that desire doesn’t originate from orientation or innate pathology, then why consider pedophilia to be similar?
@ pallygirl
For a moment I thought you intended to eat the candle, and was questioning your life decisions.
Partner is picking up tea on the way home, I have no idea what it will be. There are no cookies in the house. ๐ There are cat biscuits and cat treats, but these are not suitable for a vegetarian. There may be bonbons, there are no candles, fucking scented or otherwise (but there are torches for civil defence emergencies), and all the chairs are quite comfortable to sit on. I may be failing at this whole feminism thing.
I’ve been busy, and am off to bed. Re books and authors:
I think the works can stand on their own, but that doesn’t mean one has to divorce the writer from them either.
There are authors I won’t own. Some of them have written works I enjoyed reading, before I found out what they believed. At that point I saw things in the works which bothered me.
In some cases it’s semi-personal (I have some direct connections to the Breendoggle, and had a passing acquaintance with Moira, some 30 years ago). There are some of Marion’s books I won’t read again. Some I think would probably be ok.
But books are visceral, and if they bother you, get rid of them.
I’ve now read a couple of comments on here about Adam Baldwin being a douche. I’m completely in the dark about this. What did he do?
Whatever it was will not likely deter me from watching Firefly and Angel a bazillion more times but it’s still a shame. Especially since I always pictured him as Victarian Greyjoy if they ever cast him on GoT.
I’ve successfully stayed away from Woody Allen lately. Somehow, I only found out about the molestation accusations against recently but considering the whole creepy as fuck marriage to Soon-Yi, I believe Dylan all the way. Of course, I only liked Annie Hall so it hasn’t been a challenge.
I’ve been less successful at staying away from Roman Polanski. I caved and rewatched Rosemary’s Baby again recently. ๐ I hope to not do that again. I was weak. I’m a horror movie fan and it’s a classic and a great horror movie.
But it is a vanilla candle. Or would be, if there were candles in the house.
A lot of people talk about having difficulties enjoying problematic art but I’ve always thought it was harder dealing with problematic creators.
I can handle problematic art, with a well intentioned creator. What I hate is wonderful, amazing art that is glorious… with a terrible creator so I feel guilty supporting the amazing art.
It can also be a problem in science, too. Dawkins, why did you stop doing real and awesome biology to go be a jerk? Why?!
*goes off to whimper in a corner*
To be fair, he continued doing science while progressing towards jerkdom and I’d support a lot of what he did when he initially deviated from strict ethology and evolutionary biology. What he’s doing these days, I’unno. I could only listen to so much righteous wealthy old white man condescension.
I suspect Dawkins’ inner jerk was never more than a millimetre from the surface.
I don’t know that Dawkins was terribly honest in his biology. Years ago as an undergrad I had to write a book review for one paper and I picked The Selfish Gene (my original book choice was Gyn/Ecology by Mary Daly but I still didn’t understand it after I finished it, so I had to pick another quickly). A few bits of what Dawkins stated in his book didn’t accord with what I had been taught in my psychology papers, so I ended up getting copies of the original references for some of his citations. And behold, for a couple he stated the completely opposite conclusion to what the research showed (from memory, one was on testosterone and aggression). So it wasn’t that more updated research disproved his conclusions – he wasn’t accurately reporting what the cited articles said.
I haven’t trusted Dawkins since, and that was back in … ?1991. I’m pretty sure the version of The Selfish Gene I read was a revised version too.
I just saw this crop in my my feed: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/07/23/us/politics/john-walsh-final-paper-plagiarism.html?_r=0
Is this the AVfM Dean Esmay that’s mentioned in the paper? I’m assuming there could be more than one in the US.
I don’t really understand how the MRA types can use certain acts as proof of the evilness and horribleness of women when they’re done TO men (sexual assault, domestic violence, paedophilia, etc) yet in the next breath try to minimise and excuse exactly the same actions when they’re done BY men. Like the same acts they consider immoral and unforgiveable when women are the perpetrators somehow become overblown, fraudulent or explicable when men (that they like) are the perpetrators.
I guess it just goes to show that the important thing is all events prove women are bad and/or men are great.
Looks like it. I didn’t know he had a blog called “Dean’s World.” Somehow that is really funny to me.