I have a confession to make: I don’t always read the comments on posts by Men’s Rights Activists.
I realize this might come as a shock to some of you. I mean, one of the main, er, critiques I get from MRAs is that I “cherry pick” comments from MRAs to make them look bad — never mind that it is the comments that make them look bad, not me. But the embarrassing fact is that I often don’t read the comments at all.
In my defense, I have a hard enough time making it through the posts themselves. Life is short, and MRAs are long-winded. And by the time I get to the end of a lot of MRA posts, I’ve pretty much lost my patience with their nonsense. The last thing I want to do at that moment is to read the fawning word-vomit of a bunch of irritating fucks whose comments are likely to be as bad or possibly even worse than the original post.
So today I decided to do a sort of penance for my sins — and to actually read through a week’s worth of comments on A Voice for Men to see what I could learn about the world, and (perhaps more to the point) about the sort of people who actually enjoy reading posts on that terrible site.
I tried my best to do this little experiment as scientifically as possible. But I cheated a little. I didn’t read the comments to every post. And I didn’t read every comment on the posts that I did look at. I mean, what the hell. There’s a limit to my masochism. Seriously, you try reading a week’s worth of this shit in one sitting.
Anyway, here are the Top 7 Insights I’ve learned from a week’s worth of comments at AVFM. In choosing the following, I stuck with comments that were either upvoted or unchallenged by the site’s regulars, or both.
1) Feminists literally want women to be able to kill men with no repercussions.
In the comments to an allegedly humorous post about the female “rationalization hamster,” Angelo sets us straight about the real agenda of feminists and their mangina allies:
2) Most young females are vile pigs.
This one, from a post about Men’s Rights Edmonton’s harassment of noble human rights activism towards that city’s Slut Walk, is pretty self-explanatory. Take it away, jbantifem:
3) It is “female nature” to falsely accuse men of rape. In another comment on that female “rationalization hamster” post, TheMaskAndRose praises AVFM for running articles addressing the important issue of women being dirty lying you know whats.
4) Women are “vipers” with credit cards
In the comments of a post meditating on the notion of privilege (or something, I didn’t read it), l jess warns men not to get involved with women at all. Because of that viper thing.
5) Don’t marry women because they’re selfish narcissists who won’t let you have a model train set
In the comments to a novella-length post detailing one man’s legal battles with his ex, John Durant reveals that his mother wouldn’t let him have a model train set. And he shares the lesson he took from this childhood tragedy: Avoid women at all costs.
6) Attractive women have no need nor desire for feminism. Or maybe they do? After praising the looks of an antifeminist YouTuber, Sway draws the only possible conclusion from this evidence. Or is it the only possible conclusion? I’m not sure what to believe.
7) Women have too many feelings to be engineers
In yet another comment on that “rationalization hamster post,” Roby 83 compares women — inherently emotional and opinionated — with men — more adept in “objective reasoning.”
There is perhaps a teensy bit of irony in the fact that Roby 83 has chosen to post this comment on A Voice for Men, a site run by, and overflowing with, men who think that their tantrums are rational arguments.
And I think that’s my cue to end this little experiment.
I’m suddenly reminded of Bertrand Russell’s metaphor of sexual repression. Makes me wonder if Toy Train Whiner has been so terrubly terrubly traumatised by it all.
First time I read this was in a Phillip Adams column back in the 70s. I loved his comment: “Mind you, trains are obscene. All those tunnels and funnels.”
Kitteh, you are so right. Freud would have a field day with “Mommy wouldn’t let me play with my train” man.
@Chris Wilson : THAT’S the one. I was searching up Joanna Russ and Tiptree instead.
AND it’s online even – http://103.9.88.89/app/2014-04-10/Connie%20Willis%20-%20All%20My%20Darling%20Daughters.pdf – here.
Needless to say, it may well trigger some, so reader beware.
Well, we can all go home now, we’ve all been out-oppressed by MRAs. What can being treated like dirt because of your race, sex, gender identity, religion, or sexuality possibly have on being denied a model train as a child?
And lo and behold, I can no longer be a feminist – because men find me attractive. If men find me attractive, that mean I must be an attractive woman, and as such have no need for feminism. I’m glad that was straightened out for me today.
#7 makes me the angriest, omg. When I’m dating, I will give a certain amount of slack when it comes to feminist ideology and the like (most men in my area are, even if identifying as liberal/progressive/Dem/etc, kind of conservative). But this is one of the ideas that I do not tolerate. At. All.
W
I was on a date a year or so ago and, after two mostly enjoyable evenings he asked me if I was seeing anyone else. I said that, since I use online dating, which can be pretty hit-and-miss, I tend to date a handful of potentials until I can narrow down to one. He was obviously unhappy about this, but tried to pretend it was fine. However, he kept bringing it up, getting more and more frustrated as I tried to explain to him that I just didn’t know him well enough to stop seeing everyone else (again, this was the end of date #2), and that if it bothered him then we were going to have to deal with that.
He waits until I have left and gone home to call me, and he says that he just needs me to try to explain my motivations to him rationally, since his logic-ruled manbrain can’t understand my silly lady ‘reasoning’. Complete with short evo-psych explanation of why I was so inclined to be ‘overly picky’ and ‘fickle’. I never ever called him back after that X/
Sorry for the too-long personal anecdote, but this particular stereotype makes me gnash my teeth and wail with rage. It’s basically an excuse to take any dissent or disagreement from a woman and turn it into her emotions clouding her judgment. I refuse to even try with people who engage in this tactic.
I have been acquainted with two men who loved model trains. Both were married with kids. They’re families loved them dearly. One of my FILs loves trains and miniatures in general. He and my MIL have a small room full of the miniatures they made together. They have one doll house with electric lights. They even made a fish pond in the front yard of the tiny house with epoxy that has tiny gold fish “floating” in it. It’s sort of a creepy hobby, so of course, I think it’s neat. To them, it’s just a fun thing they did together. They’re crafty types from way back.
I had an art prof who loved to make scale miniatures. It’s art and math and not an expensive hobby. There are competitions and the people who compete are perfectionists. In it’s heyday miniatures allowed people to create whole tiny worlds of their own before games like Minecraft or WOW existed. Miniatures have ties to forensic science and history. Trains are cool. Miniatures are cool. There’s nothing wrong with liking model trains or miniatures in general.
What is entirely fucked up is hating women because your mom didn’t get you the toy you wanted that one time. That’s Norman Bates levels of creepy.
@Phoenicians in a time of Romans: Gut-wrenching but really good story, wasn’t it? Your mentioning it reminds me that I would like to reread it. Thank-you!
Ah, and I see you found it online. Yes, I recommend it highly but I’d give it a big trigger warning.
@my previous post, it should have been “reasoning”, as in “Aww, you think you can logic; aren’t you adorable?”
And by ‘#7’, I mean more the idea that men are all super-logical and free of emotion or bias, and that women are ALL emotion and bias, and barely understand even basic reasoning, than anything specific to that particular comment.
Dear John Durant,
I asked my dad for something for Christmas one year and he didn’t get it. Does that mean I am a victim of systemic misogyny?
Blah blah blah etc.,
Viscaria
But Lea, sometimes a train is just a train!
I’ve liked lots of miniature stuff too; I spent years making really detailed figures, with extensive wardrobes, of Louis’s court (this being long before we were in contact, I hasten to add!)
I’d love to see a really good model train set. We had a very simple one, just one round of track, blue engine, I think, and a couple of carriages. But some of them are amazing, so complex.
ginatingles, wow, and he thought he was super-rational dude? What’s so hard to grasp about seeing who you’d like – or NOT like – to be with before you make any commitment, even if it’s only on a dating level?
Wanting equal work for equal pay, or the right to control your own body, or arguing for greater media representation for 50% of the world’s population? All silly lady-brain emotion-feel distractions.
Not like the cool, logical rationality of doxxers trying to destroy the lives of women who are mildly critical of MRAs, or the level-headed sophomoric name-calling of the honey badger brigade.
I think model trains are pretty cool myself (and I’m a girl! how can that be?). But I don’t blame my mom for not getting one for me. They can be expensive and take up a lot of space.
Anyone remember The Triplets of Belleville, and how poor Bruno’s tail is run over by a toy train at the start? He never gets over it and spends the rest of his life barking at trains.
OMG, yes! That, and the scene where one of the triplets throws dynamite into a pond so they can have frog’s-leg soup for supper. That movie is just wildly hilarious.
@ Ginatingles,
Ugh. Why do some dudes have to get like that? There was one dude I was talking to online and I happened to mention being stood up by a date and he lost his shit on me. I hadn’t even met this guy offline yet and he flipped on me for going on dates with other men. Best part? I found out later that he’d been in an open relationship. Nothing wrong with that, but he’d never mentioned it to me, and really? You’re in an open relationship, but you shit a brick because I’ve agreed to go on a date with other men besides you? Oh! And when I told him I was pretty sure I’d mentioned I was looking to go on dates with several people to see where things went, he outright denied I’d ever said anything about it. But when I checked back through our messages, I clearly had.
@Alex Maybe he was in an open relationship, but his SO wasn’t.
Militant Hamster Rationalization Association.
Seen an alarming number of twitter comments attacking you for this one that have the hashtag “Women Against Feminism”. I’d bet that you’re used to it by now, but damn it’s appalling that they’d make the kind of personal attacks they do because you dared to call out MRAs for promoting nonconsensual sex and male supremacy in scientific fields. The sheer amount of bullshit is making my brain hurt.
The idea that feminism is useless to women who don’t feel objectified at this exact moment in time reminds me of those people who claim that unions have accomplished all they need to and now must be retired. Because corporations and sexists both operate on the honour system.
Hey, did you guys know that the local name for the Syrian hamster is “Mr. Saddlebags?”
I guess only ugly women want equal rights according to the MRA’s
Do mras really think all women have perfect lives and we just all live to make men suffer ?
Which is weird since in MRA land beauty expires around twenty two.
…And that’s the LESS gross estimate.