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Open Thread for Personal Stuff, July 2014 Edition

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An open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.

As usual for these threads: no trolls, no MRAs, no arguments.

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Ally S
10 years ago

@bunnybunny

To be fair, there are quite a few SWERFs (sex-worker-exclusionary radical feminists) out there. But MRAs don’t care about criticizing SWERFs for their rank misogyny and whorephobia. They just care about scoring anti-feminist points.

bunnybunny
bunnybunny
10 years ago

That’s a bummer, Ally. I guess I just haven’t encountered them much.

marinerachel
marinerachel
10 years ago

OK, so, this isn’t a big deal or anything and I’ll be fine and so will just about everyone else but once upon a time (like, three years ago?) I had some weird devotion/hope for the forum http://www.rationalskepticism.org/. Turns out, just like the rest of the interwebs, they’re mostly scum and worthless but that’s to be expected.

What’s just fucking sick and hilarious if you’re in good spirits and able to laugh at such…. conduct is they, a forum that explicitly states sexism is a violation of their forum users agreement, have been tolerating the misogynist rantings of one Tim Murphy for several weeks now. It occurs to me that were any of the things being said about women by this mister being said about people with disabilities or people of colour or the poor or the elderly or pretty much any other disadvantaged group, the forum and it’s membership would come down on this fellow with the full wrath of their forum user’s agreement. Instead they’ve demonstrated that what he’s spewing isn’t really that terribly bad because, while most of them disagree with him, many of them are engaging with him and basically no one has called for his sanctioning much less excision from the forum. It’s really a very beautiful demonstration of “We don’t consider profound misogyny worthy of sanctioning”.

Why is it OK to be bigoted towards women to an extent it isn’t towards other social minorities? Why are we still having this fight? Why do we still deny and downplay misogyny to an extent we often don’t racism? Why is it less bad than other bigotry?

Anyways, way to go, Rational Skepticism, for your abject failure to sanction misogynists and your stellar demonstration of leniency and tolerance towards hatred and mistreatment of people who are female. Good to see exactly the kind of discourse you’re in favour of and keep me voluntarily banned please!

If you want to see the shitfest I’m talking about for yourselves, which I don’t suggest: http://www.rationalskepticism.org/general-chat/mgtow-philosophy-lifestyle-t42453.html

Tim Murphy shows up at the half-ish way point, I think, with links to his brilliant YouTube vidz and the forum engages him (though, full credit to them, most of them are critical. They’re also tolerant and one has to accept the discourse he brings is condoned and encouraged by the forum it’s self.

J.J
J.J
10 years ago

*offers hugs to anyone who wants one* It’s a Friday, at least.

…I don’t like the idea that sex workers are stuck dealing with potential rapists. That doesn’t even sound a bit safe. I would like sex work to be legal, though, but mostly for the safety of the women and men involved, rather than the possibility that it reduces rape, especially since sex workers are at high risk for sexual assault.

Also, for the playlist, no one’s suggested Poison? The lyrics say not to trust butts and that women scheme and that you could die. Heck, in the video there is much butt focus while singing about not trusting women. Totally MRA song. Except there’s more black guys in the video than in all of the MRM.

Shadow
Shadow
10 years ago

@JJ

Poison!!!

Also, for all the beta-obsessed in the manosphere:

To fan their rampant paranoia:

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

RE: auggziliary

I decided Im going to be a tattoo artist so I’ve been practicing art.

Awesome! I considered doing it at one point, but my health probably wouldn’t be able to handle the hours. Good luck! Tattooing is awesome.

RE: Kittehs

sitting up late last night doing a pic of Mr K and ‘self in a bubble bath proved to be a really good idea. 😉

That does sound like a good idea!

kittehserf
10 years ago

It even allowed for a TMI-ish misandric joke!

Tracy
Tracy
10 years ago

@TheVitulus

Hello! Feel free to rant, complain, whine, whinge, rage, whatever you like. 🙂 Lots of people here have experienced depression (myself included), so you’re in good company. Welcome!

kittehserf
10 years ago

Look, look, the greatest Monty Python tribute ever – a giant Norwegian Blue near Tower Bridge!

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
10 years ago

All the music talk in this thread reminded me of this video, which I loved way back when. Everything about it just makes me happy.

Falconer
10 years ago

Run for Your Life – The Beatles

Every so often the Four Lads disappoint me.

@WatermelonSugar:

The Downtown Library looks like Gringotts from Harry Potter and often hosts cool authors.

You didn’t happen to see Neil Gaiman when he came through Nashville on his Ocean at the End of the Lane book signing just over a year ago, did you? I drove all afternoon and got home well after midnight, but it was very much worth it.

Falconer
10 years ago

@damselindetech:

to Niagara Falls for my one-year wedding anniversary,

Cool! My parents went canoeing up in Canada on their honeymoon, back in 1972. Their oatmeal cookies got raided by a chipmunk; the river rose on them in the middle of the night; and on their way back, some jerk with a blank-loaded revolver came up to the crowd at the train platform and “emptied” his gun at them, then proudly announced he’d “shot” them all.

Re: Gaza and the Malaysian flight — I gotta admit, seeing photos and footage of Gaza residents carrying their dead children through the streets is a bit more than I can cope with, and I have largely retreated from the situation into loving my children and playing video games.

I don’t think criticizing Israel is anti-Semitic. The long history of persecution of Jewish folk in Europe does not justify the way Israel has treated the people of Gaza. And anyway, it just smacks of trying to seize victimhood and is a blatant attempt to silence conversations.

And the Malaysian flight — it’s just horrible. In addition to all of the death, a lot of the passengers were leading AIDS researchers, so who knows how much that’s set AIDS research back? Oh, and at least one of the passengers was a Yank, so I’m hunkering down in anticipation of lots of saber-rattling.

Falconer
10 years ago

Oh, and hugs for everyone who needs them.

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
10 years ago

I found some sweet female-fronted death, black, and grind bands recently that I have really been digging. For the extreme-music inclined, look up Vastum’s Patricidal Lust (really love that album, it is just incredible), the band Nuclear Death, and the band Myrkur (the new band with that name that just signed to Relapse, not the old one). They are fantastic. 😀

strivingally
10 years ago

Legalised prostitution leads to less rape? Really?

[content note: discussion of rape and abuse of power] I’m at work ATM but when I get home I’ll find the link about the legal sex workers trying to pursue justice after they were raped by police(!). If you’re trying to figure out which specific case I’m talking about, that’s kinda the point.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago

Well, $580 later, Fribs is home from the vet. Her first action: sit in front of her bowl demanding food. Her second: scarfing it down. Her third: getting into her basket in front of the heater for a wash.

Maddie, meanwhile, is galloping around in a way that suggests she’s building up to a rocket fuel dump.

Dire Sloth
Dire Sloth
10 years ago

All right, so I thought I was going to write a block-busting “everthing that is wrong with my life” rant, but I figure succinctness would be more cathartic.

I’m turning 26 this weekend. Over the past eight years I’ve gotten two degrees and was unable to find a job in either field. Recently I was able to get into a program that left me with a basic CompTIA certification in IT. Today is the end of my third week at my new job in what is essentially a call center. I can’t really describe how much I hate this job. I don’t mind working nights, I don’t even really mind having to take calls for eight hours straight with no breaks every night, but the fact that this is my last-ditch effort to have any sort of paying career coupled with the pervasive feeling that I am massively, massively under-qualified for this job is causing me unbearable amounts of stress. Like, the kind of stress that kills my appetite and renders me unable to do anything but dread going to work for days at a time.

The more I think about it, though, the more I realize part of the problem is I don’t have anything going on in my life at all beyond this job. I’ve got no friends I’m still in contact with, I don’t even have any real acquantinces outside of work, all of my creative projects have fizzled and I don’t have any reason to get outside the house most of the time. I’m trying to fix this (volunteering for an anime convention and trying to get more in to social media), but it’s hard, you know? Especially when I come home from work most days and do nothing but worry over having to go back.

Anyways, sorry to just dump this in the thread. Hugs for whoever wants ’em.

@Vitulus, that really sucks :/ I wish I could give you some good advice, but I can tell you I do know what it’s like to feel trapped in your room like that. You probably feel like you’ve got too much to worry about right now, but I think starting something new, something that’ll occupy you outside the house and away from the rest of your troubles might help you decide what to do next.

Ally S
10 years ago

A few days ago I realized something: last year, during a wave of depression, I was worried about whether I’d ever be able to start transitioning soon. I told myself that I wanted to start taking hormones at least before the age of 20. It was difficult to keep telling myself that because I felt pessimistic about ever being able to transition due to interference from abusive family members. Nevertheless, I always managed to keep that goal in mind, even when my circumstances seemed bleak.

And guess what? I’ve turned 20 today, and I’ve been taking hormones since July 3rd. Somehow I reached my goal without even realizing it. 🙂

twincats
twincats
10 years ago

Why is it OK to be bigoted towards women to an extent it isn’t towards other social minorities? Why are we still having this fight? Why do we still deny and downplay misogyny to an extent we often don’t racism? Why is it less bad than other bigotry?

Well, for a given value of minority, women aren’t considered one, since technically, they’re a bare majority although that line of thought tends to erase a whole lot of the LGBTIA spectrum, which sucks. Otherwise, I don’t know why misogyny is so stubborn. It’s like that stain you got on your favorite shirt that never seems to go away no matter what new stain remedy you try.

Speaking of being erased, I’m relatively new here and this may have been covered in the past, but have all the USAian Mammotheers signed the petition at http://www.queerthecensus.org? It seems like a good first step to getting at better representation in gov’t. for those who are overlooked/dismissed/erased/persecuted on a constant basis.

I found it a bit weird that just when this playlist thing started here, I had just watched the John Cleese/Michael Palin interview from 1979 on the Friday Night/Saturday Morning BBC show (about the whole Life of Brian movie controversy) and this song performed by Paul Jones was tacked on the end. I’m guessing it’s like the musical guest thing on Saturday Night Live? It’s a pretty horrifying song, along the lines of Run For Your Life by the Beatles. Ick.

So, this is my contribution to the misogynist playlist: Boom Boom Out Go the Lights.

contrapangloss
10 years ago

Finally getting calls back for interviews for the jobs I applied for nearly a month ago!

Volunteering and doing rides with the career fire/rescue squads is going well. Yesterday, they let me climb the fully extended 95 foot arial ladder, at about 70 degrees. The truck was parked so that when you looked over the edge of the ladder, you could see fish jumping in the channel.

If it means I get to climb that ladder more often, I’m totally getting a fire-1 cert in the spring (or at least, attempt to get a fire 1 cert).

Scene support and EMS are still fun, but that arial ladder is something special.

MRA Anthem suggestion: Jason Derulo’s “Talk dirty”

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Happy birthday Ally!

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
10 years ago

Hey guys I put up a post on feminist borg to start The Miss Andry Issue magazine so if anyone wants to help me please let me know! 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Bunnybunny — that article…first, BLARG CITE YOUR GRAPH AND USE REAL NUMBERS!!

That aside, looks like RI’s rape rate in 2003 was 40 rapes per 100,000 people, down to, eh, 27? in 2010 (I fucking love trying to guess where the line falls >.< )

Meanwhile, in the US at large, per the FBI the number were 32.3 and 27.7…less impressive than when compared to select states that had 2003 rates above the national average. I could, quite easily, say that RI had an abnormally high rape rate that fell back in line with the national average because whatever made it abnormally high ceased to be an issue. (FBI stats — http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2011/crime-in-the-u.s.-2011/tables/table-1 )

Still catching up here though!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Hmm, the idea about less rapes because more serial rapists getting caught is an interesting one, seeing how various studies have shown that while serial rapists are a small proportion of rapists, they commit the majority of rapes. So stopping them on their first rape would probably lower the number of total rapes. I’m still annoyed at the lack proper citations though.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLY!! Can’t wait for my mother to get home from work so I can start the “you were in labor this time 29 years ago, wanna splurge on someone else making coffee?”

Fruitloopsie — I’ll pop over to the Borg in a bit to see what you’ve got up 🙂

JakeFromStateFarm
JakeFromStateFarm
10 years ago

Hey guys I’m planning a surprise trip for my girlfriend with a trip to Milan, Itlay. Has anyone here been? Can anyone tell me what are some cool things to do there besides the usually tourist type stuff

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