Open Thread for Personal Stuff, July 2014 Edition

@LBT That’s really cool! Distribution of your art, cash, and helping people! Doesn’t get much better than that. Unless a puppy is involved somewhere.

@aggzilary And now I learned how people learn to tattoo. That is pretty cool as well.

@Tracy, that’s great for your brother. Meds can be such a pain. (This is coming from someone on anti anxiety/depression meds, so yay for finding something that works.)

As for moi, I have stopped self harming/hiding in my house, finished my summer course, and had one year anniversary with boyfriend. (One year is a big deal for me. I barely date) And it turns out that my boyfriend is not in danger of MRA transformation because he likes real stats, and wants to volunteer more (He already does an after school program/homework help thing for kids in underfunded schools.) His first idea? Planned Parenthood. (When it turned out that the ones around here don’t need clinic escorts he decided to try something else, but I’m glad he thought of it.) So I think he’s okay, and is, in fact, the same respectful, kind, and endearing man I fell for. He just identifies as a gender egalitarian and wants more open dialogue. (I think he fell in with some TERFs before we met and they were mean to him, judging by his descriptions and that they told him that he was invalid and should die.)

And now I am sleepy. One day I will make cakes and write novels for a living and not get up obscenely early.

And now I am sleepy. One day I will make cakes and write novels for a living and not get up obscenely early.

This is a very good plan. I approve.

J.J. — congrats to you and your boyfriend! Shitty about what TERfs said to him though.

Leum — lack of cis privilege examples — forms requiring you to pick male or female (super bonus points if it’s an online registration form where they’ll NEVER need it for so much as pronouns//titles); having to use the bathroom for your assigned gender, even if the other one would be more convinent; all the evo psych stuff that forgets we exist and gender roles are socially determined; some trans ideas, like saying you transition to the opposite gender as the one you were assigned (how non-binary friendly trans discourse is depends WILDLY on what you’re reading // who you’re interacting with).

Argenti stuff — R’s buying me fish for the 55g tomorrow!! FINALLY!!! And I might get Puff some tankmates (bumblebee gobies), but idk, there’s a risk he’ll consider them food. Though my mother notes I’ve had him over a year now, and he recognizes me as his human and is SMART (when I’ve had anyone else feed him, he basically ignores them, me? He’s all over his pipette before I can squeeze out food!) So I’m thinking I might be able to introduce the gobies such that he doesn’t see them as food. Also, the places he’s staked out as territory probably wouldn’t appeal to gobies. Idk though, I figure I’ll decide tomorrow while staring at them in the store. If I do get them, I’m redecorating and adding more hiding spots, one’s he definitely won’t want to use, when I introduce them. I’m hoping that’d make Puff go to defend his territory (which I won’t move much), and not be interested in them as much, let them stake their claims while he’s sorting his out.

And for those who missed it, R is my now ex-BF, who said he’d finish paying me for his web site’s design in fish once the 55g was ready, and my pharm student is all graduated and thus we’ll be calling zir L (not to be confused with Death Note’s L, I’m the one with his traits!). L has a fancy VA job and is gonna come up and visit once the pay starts rolling in.

This time tomorrow I will hopefully be staring at catfish, and maybe watching Puff to make sure he’s not going after his new friends.

cloudiah: I damn near wore that cassette out when I was 16, but hoo-boy, it is a hot mess.

Coercively assigned male at birth. I, personally, am not a huge fan of applying it to myself, as I don’t feel the assignment was coercive so much as incorrect. The label I personally prefer is dmab (designated male at birth).

Yay, LBT! Yay auggzillary! And welcome, new people!

I can’t even think about the Malaysian plane right now, or Gaza. All those poor people.

My suggestion for the playlist – I Love You by Woodkid. I love the song, but it’s a classic nice guy anthem. The narrator is hopelessly in love with this other person who doesn’t notice them, but then he doesn’t say a single thing about them except that they don’t notice him.

@Leum

It’s kind of hard to be specific as to what exact discourses they are. All I can say is that they don’t really have the same views on transmisogyny and discrimination against non-binary people.

Thanks, David.

It’s weird being a feminist who likes loud screamy music with lots of guitars.

It’s even weirder when you’re forced to admit that you find most screamy guitar musicians who are women kind of disappointing. With few exceptions, when I listen to metal* women singers, I think gee, I wish her voice was deeper / more growly / something.

*I dunno if metal is the appropriate term anymore, but it was when I was a teenager.

Also, if we could kill the idea that the only appropriate places for female vocalists in metal would be doing the operatic parts or making pop metal, that would be nice.

Female tenors are my favorite vocalists ever.

BTW, if you’re tired of the rather boring and restrained vocal niche female vocalists are usually pushed into, check this lady out.