I see bra straps peeking out on women in public all the time. If I’m any indication, people don’t really give it much thought. Congrats on your new purchase. 🙂
@Argenti
Auntie Alias — well, I expect more!
Touche!
You’re bang on about her control issues. Get a load of this statement on her first whinefest:
If you feel obliged to do something, then you can leave a comment below saying, in no uncertain terms, that you do not consent to be harassed and that you do not want false professions of concern for your well-being to be used as a justification for abuse against me, the moderators, my colleagues, Iain, other commenters, and anyone else they see fit to harass because of their association, no matter how tenuous, with Shakesville.
Nobody wants/consents to be harassed so it’s a ridiculous assertion. By my count, 69 people repeated back some version of that mantra in the comments on her two posts. The fact that she’d suggest such a thing and that so many people obediently complied is creepy.
On Day 3 of this saga she complained that the “harassment” had escalated; i.e. in comments and emails. She immediately pointed the finger at SKA but meanwhile the men’s right’s subreddit had made two posts about this melodrama on Day 2. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if some of them attempted to comment on Shakesville to crow.
Yeah, you’ll probably get that for a while. Then slowly you’ll get used to it. I had it every time I bought guy’s clothes for a while, and then had to do it AGAIN when Mir and the kids started buying girl’s clothes again.
I guess what scares me about the visible bra straps is that I don’t pass as female yet, so I’m probably a lot more likely to be harassed due to being a “dude wearing a bra”.
Ally, I can understand why it makes you uncomfortable, but I bet nobody noticed. (Also sports bra straps look kinda like tank top straps.)
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago
Ally — about the only thing that helps me any after the office manager demon is remembering that most people are not paying attention to stupid shit like if I scuffed my shoes on a filing cabinet, because they’re too busy worrying about what’s for dinner or when that project is due or whether that cloud looks like a rabbit or a duck.
Auntie Alias — dafuq? That’s just weird. It’s worded almost like a “sign this petition please”, but is only doing something in terms of ass kissing. Wonder what she’d have said to anyone who said that freedom of the press was more important than being upset that someone was wrongly upset on their behalf. Cuz anything less supportively worded would just get the troll label. And yeah, if the misters caught wind of it I’m sure they did bury her in shit, it’s how they roll (I’d call them dung beetles, but those are actually kinda cool)
LBT — yeah, I know M.D. got roped into it, but I’m picturing a combo of “no, you can’t smash things, yes, I am bored senseless too and bouncing off the walls but NO HITTING THINGS”…and “static” shocks when really bored.
Or they’re worried about their own minor outfit problem that you didn’t notice.
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago
Exactly. First, ime worrying that everyone is staring at you or judging your clothes is very much a hangover from the teen years. Seriously, most people don’t give a damn about what random people on the street are wearing. They may possibly give it a passing thought, but so what? They’re busy with their own concerns. It’s the thing we keep reminding dudes: you’re not the protagonist in anyone else’s story. Took me years to stop worrying what people might think about my clothes. The rest of the world is not the self-proclaimed cool kids at school whose own self-esteem is built on putting others down.
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago
Also, take a cue from The Doctor — just walk like you own the place, tends to work for me. (And it does) The more natural you act, the less likely anyone is to pay you any notice.
But Katz nailed it — they’re probably worrying about the same things you worry about (or similar ones anyways), not about whether that bra strap is showing on a man or woman (and, thank you socialization! most people are gonna default to bra = woman)
Idk, I’m weird. Saying fuck you to gender norms doesn’t bother me (I do have the perk of having exasperated my relatives on that front while my brother was pissing on walls still, so any attempts to get me to adopt a “proper” gender role took a backseat to get him to pee in the proper place [if you want some toilet humor, I have a hilarious story on that front]) — keeping people waiting behind me in line, not being sure how to ask for things (fuck I never called my psych back)…that shit turns me into a nervous wreck. Tie and heels? Problem? Oh, looks like my middle finger is spring loaded!
Why do I mention that? Because you’re just about a decade younger than me and WAY more mature than I was at your age, and you’re a strong woman, in a decade’s time I figure you’ll have a similar “don’t like it? Sucks to be you” attitude.
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago
Also, take a cue from The Doctor — just walk like you own the place, tends to work for me. (And it does) The more natural you act, the less likely anyone is to pay you any notice.
This. Projecting an apologetic or fearful attitude isn’t going to help anyone and most people are just ordinary folk going about their business. They really don’t care.
pallygirl
10 years ago
@Ally: it’s a normal female thing (can’t speak to it being a male thing as well, as that’s outside of my experience) to obsess over minor clothing details because society teaches us females that we have to police our appearance at all times. You’re a typical female** for worrying about bra straps showing. 🙂
And the others are correct, people rarely notice minor clothing faux pas* (and showing a bra strap is not necessarily a faux pas) with other people. Except if your tags stick up. I, at least, let the woman know her tag is sticking out, unlike some people who have come up to me and pushed the tag down for me – people I didn’t know, just randoms on the street. Hooray for no body autonomy in those cases.
* as separate to major, such as having your skirt tucked into your underpants. I can’t think of any others.
** this may be age- and clothing-style related. YMMV.
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago
pallygirl, d’you have the term “dag tag” in NZ? 😀
pallygirl
10 years ago
I had to look the term up, so we may have it but I haven’t encountered it. Ewwwwwwwwwwww
Over here the two most famous dags are (1) what you get on the arse of a sheep and (2) Fred Dagg.
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago
The great John Clarke! <3 He and Brian Dawe do the best political satire.
I'd swear Fred Dagg's related to Wal' Footroot somehow. Or possibly Cooch Windgrass.
marinerachel
10 years ago
Y’all, I got a sick vag. She’s doing great but apparently for at least four months my poor poon has been suffering from bacterial vaginosis, kind of. I was symptomatic at the end of March, made a doctor’s appointment and, in the meantime, tried to reset my vaginal pH and performed a little probiotic therapy. After that point, I was asymptomatic so didn’t bring it up with the doc. Further treatment not necessary! I McGiver’d my cooch. I’m amazing.
Went in June for STI testing and my Pap smear. Got a letter a couple weeks ago from one of the clinicians. That’s not good. They only contact you re: abnormal results. I left them a message with my correct number and after some telephone tag recieved the joyous news: I have intermediate vaginal flora. Your vaginal flora is either Normal, Intermediate or BV as in bacterial vaginosis. I was surprised because I’m asymptomatic and was told because I’m not positive for BV, only intermediate, it didn’t require treatment, just a watchful eye in case symptoms arose. It’s considered normal for intermediate vaginal flora to become normal overtime without therapy. I said fuck that noise. I think this has been going on sinse the end of March and, even though I’m asymptomatic, my vag flora has been imbalanced for a long time and that has negative health implications so HOOK ME UP!
I’ve been squirting antibiotic gel up my vagina for the last six nights. It’s kind of fun. I haven’t had any hot dates (and shouldn’t for three days following cessation of treatment) but that’s OK. I owe my vagina a great deal during this time. I neglected my friend. If I’d known I would have treated her much earlier but she didn’t complain even a little after the initial infection! What a trooper.
I hacked off 11 inches of hair, then had a friend even out the results. My hair is now just barely long enough in the front to tuck behind my ears, and ends a good handspan above my shoulders.
To add insult to misandrous injury, I did it because fixing my hair after removing a scene-support fire helmet was getting annoying on shift days. Also, not looking like you just rolled out of bed at 2 am when you just rolled out of bed at 2 am is really, really hard with long hair.
I’m quite satisfied with the results. Hello, finger combing to appropriate levels of tidy! Farewell, carrying around a brush in my pocket and packing spray on detangler and an army of hair ties!
I won’t miss you… Until my hair gets long again in six months.
marinerachel
10 years ago
I LOVES being a short haired lady! Every few years I cut off a six or more inch long ponytail. Feels amazing.
I’m now looking at my cooter in the hand mirror. It does seem to make a somewhat frowny face. I’ve fed it lots of antibiotic gel though so it should be smiling again soon!
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago
Well, this is a surprise – I’ve got a job interview tomorrow!
I only seem to get interviews for jobs I don’t actually care about and don’t even bother writing cover letters for.
We Hunted The Mammoth
@Ally S
I see bra straps peeking out on women in public all the time. If I’m any indication, people don’t really give it much thought. Congrats on your new purchase. 🙂
@Argenti
Touche!
You’re bang on about her control issues. Get a load of this statement on her first whinefest:
Nobody wants/consents to be harassed so it’s a ridiculous assertion. By my count, 69 people repeated back some version of that mantra in the comments on her two posts. The fact that she’d suggest such a thing and that so many people obediently complied is creepy.
On Day 3 of this saga she complained that the “harassment” had escalated; i.e. in comments and emails. She immediately pointed the finger at SKA but meanwhile the men’s right’s subreddit had made two posts about this melodrama on Day 2. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if some of them attempted to comment on Shakesville to crow.
Yeah, you’ll probably get that for a while. Then slowly you’ll get used to it. I had it every time I bought guy’s clothes for a while, and then had to do it AGAIN when Mir and the kids started buying girl’s clothes again.
I guess what scares me about the visible bra straps is that I don’t pass as female yet, so I’m probably a lot more likely to be harassed due to being a “dude wearing a bra”.
Ally, people are incredibly unobservant.
@Ally S
That’s perfectly understandable.
RE: Argenti
The idea of either of them sitting remotely still for two straight days though…and M.D. was the responsible adult?!
Enh. Sort of?
LBT, I love the story! <3
Auntie Alias, it's summer over There, so his knitwear's not getting much use. It is when he visits here, though!
Yay, LBT has an avatar! And it is awesome. (Unimaginative does not have an avatar, because she lacks imagination.)
Ally, I can understand why it makes you uncomfortable, but I bet nobody noticed. (Also sports bra straps look kinda like tank top straps.)
Ally — about the only thing that helps me any after the office manager demon is remembering that most people are not paying attention to stupid shit like if I scuffed my shoes on a filing cabinet, because they’re too busy worrying about what’s for dinner or when that project is due or whether that cloud looks like a rabbit or a duck.
Auntie Alias — dafuq? That’s just weird. It’s worded almost like a “sign this petition please”, but is only doing something in terms of ass kissing. Wonder what she’d have said to anyone who said that freedom of the press was more important than being upset that someone was wrongly upset on their behalf. Cuz anything less supportively worded would just get the troll label. And yeah, if the misters caught wind of it I’m sure they did bury her in shit, it’s how they roll (I’d call them dung beetles, but those are actually kinda cool)
LBT — yeah, I know M.D. got roped into it, but I’m picturing a combo of “no, you can’t smash things, yes, I am bored senseless too and bouncing off the walls but NO HITTING THINGS”…and “static” shocks when really bored.
Or they’re worried about their own minor outfit problem that you didn’t notice.
Exactly. First, ime worrying that everyone is staring at you or judging your clothes is very much a hangover from the teen years. Seriously, most people don’t give a damn about what random people on the street are wearing. They may possibly give it a passing thought, but so what? They’re busy with their own concerns. It’s the thing we keep reminding dudes: you’re not the protagonist in anyone else’s story. Took me years to stop worrying what people might think about my clothes. The rest of the world is not the self-proclaimed cool kids at school whose own self-esteem is built on putting others down.
Also, take a cue from The Doctor — just walk like you own the place, tends to work for me. (And it does) The more natural you act, the less likely anyone is to pay you any notice.
But Katz nailed it — they’re probably worrying about the same things you worry about (or similar ones anyways), not about whether that bra strap is showing on a man or woman (and, thank you socialization! most people are gonna default to bra = woman)
Idk, I’m weird. Saying fuck you to gender norms doesn’t bother me (I do have the perk of having exasperated my relatives on that front while my brother was pissing on walls still, so any attempts to get me to adopt a “proper” gender role took a backseat to get him to pee in the proper place [if you want some toilet humor, I have a hilarious story on that front]) — keeping people waiting behind me in line, not being sure how to ask for things (fuck I never called my psych back)…that shit turns me into a nervous wreck. Tie and heels? Problem? Oh, looks like my middle finger is spring loaded!
Why do I mention that? Because you’re just about a decade younger than me and WAY more mature than I was at your age, and you’re a strong woman, in a decade’s time I figure you’ll have a similar “don’t like it? Sucks to be you” attitude.
This. Projecting an apologetic or fearful attitude isn’t going to help anyone and most people are just ordinary folk going about their business. They really don’t care.
@Ally: it’s a normal female thing (can’t speak to it being a male thing as well, as that’s outside of my experience) to obsess over minor clothing details because society teaches us females that we have to police our appearance at all times. You’re a typical female** for worrying about bra straps showing. 🙂
And the others are correct, people rarely notice minor clothing faux pas* (and showing a bra strap is not necessarily a faux pas) with other people. Except if your tags stick up. I, at least, let the woman know her tag is sticking out, unlike some people who have come up to me and pushed the tag down for me – people I didn’t know, just randoms on the street. Hooray for no body autonomy in those cases.
* as separate to major, such as having your skirt tucked into your underpants. I can’t think of any others.
** this may be age- and clothing-style related. YMMV.
pallygirl, d’you have the term “dag tag” in NZ? 😀
I had to look the term up, so we may have it but I haven’t encountered it. Ewwwwwwwwwwww
Over here the two most famous dags are (1) what you get on the arse of a sheep and (2) Fred Dagg.
The great John Clarke! <3 He and Brian Dawe do the best political satire.
I'd swear Fred Dagg's related to Wal' Footroot somehow. Or possibly Cooch Windgrass.
Y’all, I got a sick vag. She’s doing great but apparently for at least four months my poor poon has been suffering from bacterial vaginosis, kind of. I was symptomatic at the end of March, made a doctor’s appointment and, in the meantime, tried to reset my vaginal pH and performed a little probiotic therapy. After that point, I was asymptomatic so didn’t bring it up with the doc. Further treatment not necessary! I McGiver’d my cooch. I’m amazing.
Went in June for STI testing and my Pap smear. Got a letter a couple weeks ago from one of the clinicians. That’s not good. They only contact you re: abnormal results. I left them a message with my correct number and after some telephone tag recieved the joyous news: I have intermediate vaginal flora. Your vaginal flora is either Normal, Intermediate or BV as in bacterial vaginosis. I was surprised because I’m asymptomatic and was told because I’m not positive for BV, only intermediate, it didn’t require treatment, just a watchful eye in case symptoms arose. It’s considered normal for intermediate vaginal flora to become normal overtime without therapy. I said fuck that noise. I think this has been going on sinse the end of March and, even though I’m asymptomatic, my vag flora has been imbalanced for a long time and that has negative health implications so HOOK ME UP!
I’ve been squirting antibiotic gel up my vagina for the last six nights. It’s kind of fun. I haven’t had any hot dates (and shouldn’t for three days following cessation of treatment) but that’s OK. I owe my vagina a great deal during this time. I neglected my friend. If I’d known I would have treated her much earlier but she didn’t complain even a little after the initial infection! What a trooper.
Aw, Marinerachel, I’m sorry about your sick vag. I’m imagining it looking all sad with a thermometer in it and you spooning it chicken soup.
I committed a grave act of misandry.
I hacked off 11 inches of hair, then had a friend even out the results. My hair is now just barely long enough in the front to tuck behind my ears, and ends a good handspan above my shoulders.
To add insult to misandrous injury, I did it because fixing my hair after removing a scene-support fire helmet was getting annoying on shift days. Also, not looking like you just rolled out of bed at 2 am when you just rolled out of bed at 2 am is really, really hard with long hair.
I’m quite satisfied with the results. Hello, finger combing to appropriate levels of tidy! Farewell, carrying around a brush in my pocket and packing spray on detangler and an army of hair ties!
I won’t miss you… Until my hair gets long again in six months.
I LOVES being a short haired lady! Every few years I cut off a six or more inch long ponytail. Feels amazing.
I’m now looking at my cooter in the hand mirror. It does seem to make a somewhat frowny face. I’ve fed it lots of antibiotic gel though so it should be smiling again soon!
Well, this is a surprise – I’ve got a job interview tomorrow!
I only seem to get interviews for jobs I don’t actually care about and don’t even bother writing cover letters for.
I’m seeing a pattern here. 😛
Steady on katz. Don’t give her ideas.
Oooo gratz on the job interview. Good luck!