I can’t imagine dealing with the light in an Arctic summer.
At least it’s not hot most of the time, although this week day temps have been close to 30 and night temps around 20, which is quite extreme. I can manage without a mask, the heat is a bigger problem. Anyway, days are already getting shorter and it’s even fully dark around midnight.
I wondered how hot the harsh summer you’ve been having would be, Arctic Ape. 20 is warm overnight in our summers; it’s when it still hovers around 30 all night that it gets really obnoxious. We’re already being warned of a hotter-than usual, dry summer, hence bad bushfires. Makes me wonder how many years it’ll take before they decide that yes, temps closer to 40 than 30, more often, are a normal summer now.
pallygirl
10 years ago
/happy dance for Ally
/happy dance for anyone else who needs/wants a happy dance.
And week 2 of radiation therapy starts tomorrow. I’m off to take a sleeping pill.
cassandrakitty
10 years ago
Hey, Arctic Ape, are you still here? I need a bit of very quick Finnish translation help.
cassandrakitty
10 years ago
It’s an album title, “Natten Med De Levande Fintroll”. Night of the living Fintroll or night with the living Fintroll? I’m seeing both, not sure which is correct.
Arctic Ape
10 years ago
The latter, although IDK if the former interpretation would be possible. I know only little Swedish. Some people here speak Swedish as first language, but Finnish is much different 🙂
cassandrakitty
10 years ago
Oops, I’d forgotten that they actually sing in Swedish (still not sure why they do that). Thanks!
Arctic Ape
10 years ago
Finland is bilingual in about the same extent and style that Canada is bilingual, if you replace English with Finnish and French with Swedish (might as well replace indigenous languages with Sami).
Night of the Living Fintrolls is my personal translation, because levande is levende is not something I would normally use when I speak Danish about anything but most plural things and I’ll be damned if I let those Swedish pagans change that. Natten Med De Levende Fintrolle, to be precise in my kludged three language thing.
That’s a little beside the point.
I think your best bet would be Night of the Living Fintroll. Technically med is with, but it can also mean of when using in relation to the status of things. And I’m assuming this is a night full of trolls, instead of a night that comes with trolls.
GrumpyOldNurse
10 years ago
Bee – I don’t usually give random advice to people, but, please RUN. A. WAY. Dangerous dude sounds dangerous.
Ally S – Sorry to hear about the nightmare. Jerk brain is a jerk. You deserve so much better.
I just had a night full of trolls, myself. It wasn’t nearly as much fun as the album sounds, though.
Confining people is considered a worse crime than sexual assault. Anecdote: about 25 years ago, in Canada, a young woman friend had a similar “date”. He trapped her in his apartment and assaulted her. Because he had a better lawyer than she did, she was convinced to drop what she thought was the lesser charge of unlawful confinement.
Because, to any human being who’s been in that kind of situation, yeah. Being locked in somebody’s apartment is scary, but it’s not immediately harmful. There’s a sense that you can somehow figure out a way to get out. You’re not hurt *yet*.
Being sexually assaulted is invasive and traumatizing. However, to the law, sexual assault convictions can result in a stern talking to from the judge, whereas unlawful confinement (if proved) always leads to jail time.
So he got a slap on the wrist and she got PTSD.
tl;dr: Bee, it’s not your fault, and avoid that scumbag.
Anyway, days are already getting shorter and it’s even fully dark around midnight.
We’ve lost about an hour and a half of sunlight since solstice. Ever time I see the sunrise and sunset times on the weather network, I get a little anxious about winter coming. I LOVE having the sun shining during all the hours I’m awake.
In another month and a half or so, I’ll have to start doubling my vitamin D intake and using my light lamp in the mornings. I hate winter.
Ally, I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. If it helps at all, I’m looking at this:
Thanks, dad, for helping me get a trauma disorder. It means a lot to me because without it, maybe my life wouldn’t be nearly as miserable. Such a difference you’ve made in my life.
as a good sign. You might not have noticed, but you used to apologize for and defend everything your dad did, and blame yourself for not being tough enough to take his abuse. I think that you being able to clearly assign blame to him shows that you’re starting to feel removed enough and safe enough from the ongoing trauma that you’re able to clearly identify it.
I’m not awake enough to reply to the serious stuff, besides to offer hugs, but LBT, dont worry about the cactus needing a trim — I lost maybe a third of the parent that way and clearly it turned out fine!
I introduced Puff to the gobies last night, he tried to eat them. I may end up having to find somewhere to put my empty 10g >.< (luckily the gobies would be fine in it)
Well, it went better today. Puff ignored them in favor of swimming the edges of the container they’re in, particularly the edges of the sticker that used to be on the outside (I turned a semi-transparent file case into a fish bucket because DUAL HANDLES). Given how he acts in his own tank, I’m thinking he was questioning where the other fish // his reflection went, or why he couldn’t see out (honestly though, he acts like it’s more than just seeing out, he skitters along the edges like one body width over is Really Different…it really reminds me of kittens and mirrors)
I’ve been tempted to mirror test him, but the last time I tried that on a fish I broke the fish. It spent the next week in hiding.
Thanks so much, kittehserf, cassandra, Ally, pallygirl, Unimaginative, Grumpyoldnurse (love the nym), David, others? (did I forget anyone? I’m sorry!) I really needed to hear that I shouldn’t talk to him again. Even though I know that! So, I also blocked the number of the dude I went out with last week who was masturbating himself with my hand when I woke up. Still can’t get over feeling deeply flawed to be attracting(?) these dudes with such regularity.
Flying Mouse
10 years ago
Bee, don’t beat yourself up over some bad dates. I know I had a long string of poor choices that culminated in my asshole college boyfriend (who coincidentally also thought it was perfectly reasonable to hold me against my will). It’s not like most jerks say “I’m a scary asshat that doesn’t respect any boundaries!” when they introduce themselves. They’re usually charming as hell.
I also don’t think it’s you, personally that’s attracting these guys. It’s probably your situation; being new in town without too many local friends yet is probably making you seem tempting and vulnerable to these jerkfaces. Once you’re a little more settled and comfortable, they’ll probably stop trying to slime their way into your life. [Source for speculation: my own personal experiences, both platonic and romantic, from moving around a bit in my late teens/very early twenties. YMMV.]
And “huzzah!” for kicking those rapey fuckers to the curb. I can’t tell you how many awful people I’ve tolerated because I didn’t want to be rude. Being polite for politeness’ sake is highly overrated.
Things will get better. Lots of hugs and pompom waves, if you want them.
….
And hugs and cheers to everyone else on thread, whatever you want and your situation merits 🙂
Bee — yep, I also doubt it’s you personally attracting them. Predators go after the vulnerable — new in town, few friends, I’d guess they see you as vulnerable and thus try their shit on you. Tell them to fuck off, and cut contact, more, become sure in the fact that this is perfectly okay behavior — should cut down on the number of assholes who make it as far as actually meeting your lovely self in person. Be the sort of person who takes no shit, then when you get dealt a shit hand, you’ll be versed in “ain’t nobody got time for this”.
As someone said up thread, if you’re looking for companionship, you might do better finding it by persuing hobbies with like minded people. Or with fish. I’d be happy to help you get into fish keeping 🙂 (and yes, many of us are as obsessed as me, you’ll find online fora galore devoted to our little fishie companions)
Actually, if you want fish or not, if you find them interesting, and have a LFS (local fish store, the family/individual run kind) — go hang out there, watch the fish, chat up people, we fish people don’t mind talking about fish! ^.^
Fuck it. I analyzed that shitty email our father sent and posted it publically. He’ll see it as a personal attack, but I am sick of covering for my parents’ bad behavior and pretending it never happened. This way, I can call them out and actively protect myself without fucking talking to them. And hell, maybe someone will see the guilt-tripping and manipulation and be able to escape people trying to pull it on them!
And in the end, this has proved a useful experience! I was ANGRY, not guilty or ashamed nearly as much, and two days later, I’m feeling way better.
I was thinking of doing a comics autobiography of our system. One of the reasons I never dared was because I was afraid of our parents’ reaction. But now they know what happened and how I feel, and I know that nothing bad will happen to them except some strangers thinking they suck. (Strangers who have no idea who they are or what they look like so can’t hurt.) So now I know that making this bio comic would be possible! I’d be able to handle the backlash!
I feel way better than I did earlier now.
RE: Bee
Still can’t get over feeling deeply flawed to be attracting(?) these dudes with such regularity.
Actually, I think there’s a lot of the reverse going on: an abuser is highly motivated to seek out those who have been abused previously. Because that way, they KNOW people will blame the victim and say they’re just seeking out more traumatizing experiences, while they get to claim innocence.
You aren’t attracting them. They are doing their damnedest to attract YOU.
Whoa, LBT, I would love to read your system autobiography!
cassandrakitty
10 years ago
@ Fibi
Plus “Night with” sounds awkward, doesn’t it? Instead of the night being about the trolls, there just happen to be some trolls there, who knows why?
If you guys had said that it was terribly grammatically incorrect to translate it the other way then I might have been willing to live with the awkwardness, but apparently that’s not the case, so yay.
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago
I keep reading Fintrolls as a scary version of Moomintrolls.
We Hunted The Mammoth
Kittenserf:
At least it’s not hot most of the time, although this week day temps have been close to 30 and night temps around 20, which is quite extreme. I can manage without a mask, the heat is a bigger problem. Anyway, days are already getting shorter and it’s even fully dark around midnight.
@pallygirl
They should be coming within next week. ^_^
I wondered how hot the harsh summer you’ve been having would be, Arctic Ape. 20 is warm overnight in our summers; it’s when it still hovers around 30 all night that it gets really obnoxious. We’re already being warned of a hotter-than usual, dry summer, hence bad bushfires. Makes me wonder how many years it’ll take before they decide that yes, temps closer to 40 than 30, more often, are a normal summer now.
/happy dance for Ally
/happy dance for anyone else who needs/wants a happy dance.
And week 2 of radiation therapy starts tomorrow. I’m off to take a sleeping pill.
Hey, Arctic Ape, are you still here? I need a bit of very quick Finnish translation help.
It’s an album title, “Natten Med De Levande Fintroll”. Night of the living Fintroll or night with the living Fintroll? I’m seeing both, not sure which is correct.
The latter, although IDK if the former interpretation would be possible. I know only little Swedish. Some people here speak Swedish as first language, but Finnish is much different 🙂
Oops, I’d forgotten that they actually sing in Swedish (still not sure why they do that). Thanks!
Finland is bilingual in about the same extent and style that Canada is bilingual, if you replace English with Finnish and French with Swedish (might as well replace indigenous languages with Sami).
Night of the Living Fintrolls is my personal translation, because levande is levende is not something I would normally use when I speak Danish about anything but most plural things and I’ll be damned if I let those Swedish pagans change that. Natten Med De Levende Fintrolle, to be precise in my kludged three language thing.
That’s a little beside the point.
I think your best bet would be Night of the Living Fintroll. Technically med is with, but it can also mean of when using in relation to the status of things. And I’m assuming this is a night full of trolls, instead of a night that comes with trolls.
Bee – I don’t usually give random advice to people, but, please RUN. A. WAY. Dangerous dude sounds dangerous.
Ally S – Sorry to hear about the nightmare. Jerk brain is a jerk. You deserve so much better.
I just had a night full of trolls, myself. It wasn’t nearly as much fun as the album sounds, though.
Confining people is considered a worse crime than sexual assault. Anecdote: about 25 years ago, in Canada, a young woman friend had a similar “date”. He trapped her in his apartment and assaulted her. Because he had a better lawyer than she did, she was convinced to drop what she thought was the lesser charge of unlawful confinement.
Because, to any human being who’s been in that kind of situation, yeah. Being locked in somebody’s apartment is scary, but it’s not immediately harmful. There’s a sense that you can somehow figure out a way to get out. You’re not hurt *yet*.
Being sexually assaulted is invasive and traumatizing. However, to the law, sexual assault convictions can result in a stern talking to from the judge, whereas unlawful confinement (if proved) always leads to jail time.
So he got a slap on the wrist and she got PTSD.
tl;dr: Bee, it’s not your fault, and avoid that scumbag.
We’ve lost about an hour and a half of sunlight since solstice. Ever time I see the sunrise and sunset times on the weather network, I get a little anxious about winter coming. I LOVE having the sun shining during all the hours I’m awake.
In another month and a half or so, I’ll have to start doubling my vitamin D intake and using my light lamp in the mornings. I hate winter.
Ally, I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. If it helps at all, I’m looking at this:
as a good sign. You might not have noticed, but you used to apologize for and defend everything your dad did, and blame yourself for not being tough enough to take his abuse. I think that you being able to clearly assign blame to him shows that you’re starting to feel removed enough and safe enough from the ongoing trauma that you’re able to clearly identify it.
I hope you feel better soon.
I’m not awake enough to reply to the serious stuff, besides to offer hugs, but LBT, dont worry about the cactus needing a trim — I lost maybe a third of the parent that way and clearly it turned out fine!
I introduced Puff to the gobies last night, he tried to eat them. I may end up having to find somewhere to put my empty 10g >.< (luckily the gobies would be fine in it)
Well, it went better today. Puff ignored them in favor of swimming the edges of the container they’re in, particularly the edges of the sticker that used to be on the outside (I turned a semi-transparent file case into a fish bucket because DUAL HANDLES). Given how he acts in his own tank, I’m thinking he was questioning where the other fish // his reflection went, or why he couldn’t see out (honestly though, he acts like it’s more than just seeing out, he skitters along the edges like one body width over is Really Different…it really reminds me of kittens and mirrors)
I’ve been tempted to mirror test him, but the last time I tried that on a fish I broke the fish. It spent the next week in hiding.
Thanks so much, kittehserf, cassandra, Ally, pallygirl, Unimaginative, Grumpyoldnurse (love the nym), David, others? (did I forget anyone? I’m sorry!) I really needed to hear that I shouldn’t talk to him again. Even though I know that! So, I also blocked the number of the dude I went out with last week who was masturbating himself with my hand when I woke up. Still can’t get over feeling deeply flawed to be attracting(?) these dudes with such regularity.
Bee, don’t beat yourself up over some bad dates. I know I had a long string of poor choices that culminated in my asshole college boyfriend (who coincidentally also thought it was perfectly reasonable to hold me against my will). It’s not like most jerks say “I’m a scary asshat that doesn’t respect any boundaries!” when they introduce themselves. They’re usually charming as hell.
I also don’t think it’s you, personally that’s attracting these guys. It’s probably your situation; being new in town without too many local friends yet is probably making you seem tempting and vulnerable to these jerkfaces. Once you’re a little more settled and comfortable, they’ll probably stop trying to slime their way into your life. [Source for speculation: my own personal experiences, both platonic and romantic, from moving around a bit in my late teens/very early twenties. YMMV.]
And “huzzah!” for kicking those rapey fuckers to the curb. I can’t tell you how many awful people I’ve tolerated because I didn’t want to be rude. Being polite for politeness’ sake is highly overrated.
Things will get better. Lots of hugs and pompom waves, if you want them.
….
And hugs and cheers to everyone else on thread, whatever you want and your situation merits 🙂
Bee — yep, I also doubt it’s you personally attracting them. Predators go after the vulnerable — new in town, few friends, I’d guess they see you as vulnerable and thus try their shit on you. Tell them to fuck off, and cut contact, more, become sure in the fact that this is perfectly okay behavior — should cut down on the number of assholes who make it as far as actually meeting your lovely self in person. Be the sort of person who takes no shit, then when you get dealt a shit hand, you’ll be versed in “ain’t nobody got time for this”.
As someone said up thread, if you’re looking for companionship, you might do better finding it by persuing hobbies with like minded people. Or with fish. I’d be happy to help you get into fish keeping 🙂 (and yes, many of us are as obsessed as me, you’ll find online fora galore devoted to our little fishie companions)
Actually, if you want fish or not, if you find them interesting, and have a LFS (local fish store, the family/individual run kind) — go hang out there, watch the fish, chat up people, we fish people don’t mind talking about fish! ^.^
Watching fish is really soothing, too, when you’re stressed or anxious. Watching them swim around is kinda zen.
Fuck it. I analyzed that shitty email our father sent and posted it publically. He’ll see it as a personal attack, but I am sick of covering for my parents’ bad behavior and pretending it never happened. This way, I can call them out and actively protect myself without fucking talking to them. And hell, maybe someone will see the guilt-tripping and manipulation and be able to escape people trying to pull it on them!
And in the end, this has proved a useful experience! I was ANGRY, not guilty or ashamed nearly as much, and two days later, I’m feeling way better.
I was thinking of doing a comics autobiography of our system. One of the reasons I never dared was because I was afraid of our parents’ reaction. But now they know what happened and how I feel, and I know that nothing bad will happen to them except some strangers thinking they suck. (Strangers who have no idea who they are or what they look like so can’t hurt.) So now I know that making this bio comic would be possible! I’d be able to handle the backlash!
I feel way better than I did earlier now.
RE: Bee
Still can’t get over feeling deeply flawed to be attracting(?) these dudes with such regularity.
Actually, I think there’s a lot of the reverse going on: an abuser is highly motivated to seek out those who have been abused previously. Because that way, they KNOW people will blame the victim and say they’re just seeking out more traumatizing experiences, while they get to claim innocence.
You aren’t attracting them. They are doing their damnedest to attract YOU.
Yay! Like lancing a boil…
Whoa, LBT, I would love to read your system autobiography!
@ Fibi
Plus “Night with” sounds awkward, doesn’t it? Instead of the night being about the trolls, there just happen to be some trolls there, who knows why?
If you guys had said that it was terribly grammatically incorrect to translate it the other way then I might have been willing to live with the awkwardness, but apparently that’s not the case, so yay.
I keep reading Fintrolls as a scary version of Moomintrolls.