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Open Thread for Personal Stuff, July 2014 Edition

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An open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.

As usual for these threads: no trolls, no MRAs, no arguments.

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cloudiah
10 years ago

Happy birthday to all the birthday mammoths!

Myoo
Myoo
10 years ago

Happy birthday, Argenti and Dire Sloth.

mildlymagnificent
10 years ago

Balloons! Sparkles! And chocolates and bonbons and all yummy and exciting things for the birthday people.

hannasoumaki
hannasoumaki
10 years ago

Happy bdays to everyone! Very interesting that you raise a catfish, Argenti …

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago

Happy birthday, Mammothers!

Ally S
10 years ago

I found this cotton sports bra that looks perfect, but I’m not sure if I should get it. Is cotton bad material for bras? I thought I’d ask y’all here since bra discussions are so common.

Ally S
10 years ago

(Lol, I have no reason to call it perfect…I’ve never even worn a bra before so I can’t possibly know. I’m weird. X_X)

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Cotton is great.

katz
10 years ago

Cotton is probably the best bra material, if you ask me. And that looks like a good bra to try; its fit should be pretty forgiving and it looks comfortable.

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

I have a couple bras like that one, Ally. They’re supportive but comfortable. The little bit of ruching keeps you from getting the monoboob effect or what my friend calls “The Couch”.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Ally — afaik cotton is pretty standard because of how it handles moisture, I wouldn’t spend too much on non-stretchy ones now though, just in case you need bigger ones in a week!

Hannasoumaki — catfish, a puffer, some other things. Current inhabitants at the Argenti Zoo: a lone upside down catfish in the 55g, ze’ll be getting friends now that I’m sure the tank is actually cycled — more upside down cats, clown loaches and eventually an elephant nose; 30g is just Puff currently, his soon to be tankmates are the bumblebee gobies that are currently inhabiting my fish bucket; 29g is 6 cory cats and three tetras of some kind (my mother picked them out, I just gave the “yep, tetras are fine” confirmation). And a snail tank and brine shrimp hatchery — both are breeding stock for live food for my carnivores.

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

I really like cotton, it breathes. Nylon doesn’t, so I find that itchy and uncomfortable. For the same reason, I prefer cotton underpants as well.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago

That bra looks like ones I wear in warm weather too, Ally. If they are similar, they’re certainly comfortable and cool.

Do you like cotton for tank tops or underthings generally? I guess if you do, it’s a good starting point for what’s likely to be comfortable in bras.

Ally S
10 years ago

Thanks for the feedback! I’ll buy them soon, after my chest grows a bit more.

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

What colour/colours are you going to buy? I’m all excited for you.

Ally S
10 years ago

And yeah, I really like other cotton underthings so cotton bras are probably a good idea now that I think about it. I should have known. (Speaking of that, I need to buy myself some underwear as well. I’m so damn sick of men’s boxers. X_X)

Ally S
10 years ago

@pallygirl

Pink and grey.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago

Are you looking for pretty underwear, Ally? The fancier stuff tends to be in nylon and the like, in my experience; cotton undies are plainer, but a whole lot more comfortable. I just wish so-called boyleg pants were 1) a lot longer in the leg and 2) made so they come higher than halfway up the backside.

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

The pink looks pretty from the swatch. I was cursing that the site won’t show me the pink on the model, but then there’s no guarantee that what I see on my monitor is what the pink really looks like anyway. The spandex in there will give it a bit of stretch – wish it mentioned what percentage of spandex. Cotton/lycra blends are also stretchy.

Just in case this ever comes in useful, I finally found a product I like to cover up under tops/dresses that are a bit too bloody lowcut (like, too lowcut for work). I had been wearing cotton layering tops/singlets, but getting too hot with that extra layer. These are great: http://www.cleava.com/Default.asp and the domes mean that they are compatible with thinner and thicker bra straps.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Off the bra topic but I’m finally headed towards being financially OK again. I had to borrow money from my family which I feel like absolute shit about but I think things are finally approaching normalcy.

It’s a huge relief. I’ve been so stressed that I’ve had a hard time going to bed and have been sleeping on the couch with the TV on so I don’t have to think.

Is it wrong that I resent my parents for getting annoyed with me though? This is the first time I’ve ever asked my mom for money and the first time in many years I’ve asked my dad. Other people I know get money from their parents when they aren’t in crisis and I never do.

I got depressed while unemployed and it was hard for me to get my shit together. It’s not like I did it on purpose.

Does anyone else here suffer from moderate depression? I was diagnosed with dysthymia as a teenage and everything, but I still think it just presents as laziness to people. Even including myself. I get so angry at myself for being too lethargic to do enough.

I don’t want to say there’s some advantage to being suicidal or can’t get out of bed depressed because that isn’t true. I just think that the milder forms don’t get taken seriously as something you can’t just bootstrap your way out of, you know?

Sorry for the teal deer! This rant has been building for awhile because I hate talking about either finances or my depression issues with people. I don’t know why I can be open my ED history but not my depression history but for some reason I just have such a hard time opening up about the latter. I’m only discussing it now because I’ve been drinking pinot grigio :/

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
10 years ago

WWTH, I’m glad things are getting better money-wise! Yeah, I’d probably be pissed off at my parent(s) in that situation, too.

I don’t know if I’d count as having some sort of depression, even though I’m on a mild antidepressant. Whatever it is, it’s not at all in the dysthymia range (which I just looked up, so I’m hoping Wikipedia’s got its facts straight there).

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

@WWTH: borrowing money off your parents is fine, I’ve done it, lots of people I know have done it. Let’s face it, rich people who don’t borrow off their parents have enormous advantages that the rest of us don’t, and some rich people also borrow of their parents.

Re resentment: this is an emotion and so it is difficult to say that an emotion is ever “wrong”. The resentment will be coming from thoughts and beliefs that you have, that will be the basis for your resentment. It is possible to have “wrong” thoughts and beliefs in the sense that these can be maladaptive. However, you are a smart person, and it is entirely feasible (and very likely) that your thoughts/beliefs are accurate and therefore your resentment is entirely “justified”.

Phrasing your sentence as “Is it wrong…” suggests that you feel uncomfortable with feeling resentment, regardless of what caused the emotion. Powerful emotions can be upsetting, and having negative emotions against one’s parents can be very uncomfortable as well. I’m not sure that you want to, or need to, or even that it is wise to do so when depressed, but you could examine those facets if you’re interested and if you think it would be useful to you and if you feel emotionally and cognitively safe doing so.

I’ve been depressed enough that I have attempted suicide a couple of times, and I remember finding it really difficult to get out of bed and be interested in things. It is energy sapping in a way that I would call it fatiguing (rather than simple tiredness, fatigue is longer duration and has a deeper negative affect on functioning).

So don’t feel guilty or beat yourself up over the effects of depression. I get so cross that physical disability is treated as “real” disability but mind issues are treated as something to get over fast by many people. Any form of depression can be completely debilitating for the person, and should be taken seriously. Any suggestions from people who think you can pull yourself up by the bootstraps should be ignored as coming from people who (1) have no real understanding of the problem and (2) don’t bother to think about how their words will come across before they open their mouths.

Hugs and kitties if you want them. Both come with extra cat fur.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Kittehs,
The Wikipedia entry is surprisingly accurate.

Pallygirl,
Thanks for the hugs and kitties.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that my parents were willing to lend me money. Not everyone has parents that are willing or able to do so. I also know that they both love me a lot. I just think they don’t quite get how hard it is for me to get moving sometimes or to put myself in situations where rejection is a possibility. It’s not like sitting around and watching TV is the only thing I want out of life. They’re just disappointed that I have potential I haven’t fulfilled. I suppose I understand why they would feel that way. I’m supposed to be the “normal” one because my brother is autistic. It’s a lot of pressure being the only sibling of a disabled person because I’m the one who has to fulfill their hopes for their kids. That’s something they can’t get. I understand why they’re upset but I wish they could try to understand me better too. Maybe it’s my own fault for being so good at hiding it. My depression issues really only come to the surface when something bad happens to me. I can push through it the rest of the time.

I am starting to feel a little better though.

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

@WWTH: it is their choice to be disappointed. They could choose to reframe their perceptions so that an alternative and happier outcome replaces the disappointment. I’m assuming that your parents are intelligent too – this doesn’t work for everyone, and you may have tried it already, but have the three of you tried family therapy? Sorry if this sounds like I’m telling you to suck eggs, as I don’t know very much of your background.

Ally S
10 years ago

I made this drink:

half & half
two black tea bags (with sweet spice and orange rind)
ground kava root
hot water

It’s really good and it’s making me feel very mellow and tired. I think I put a little too much kava in it but I’m glad.

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