This morning I found a strange message in my notifications on Twitter:
@DavidFutrelle Uncovers, the unrecoverable about MRAs in his own little feeble mind. Has he ever said anything good about MRAs? Anything?
— Attila L. Vinczer (@AttilaVinczer) July 15, 2014
Mr. Vinczer followed up this perplexing tweet with a bunch more insinuating that I’m a “hack,” a “pathological liar,” a “criminal,” and so on — as well as some links to what he apparently sees as “dirt” about me. (More on the latter in a moment.)
Apparently Vinczer — the “Activia Director” for men’s rights hate site A Voice for Men and the son of the genius who designed that AVFM commemorative coin — was stung by my gentle criticism of his father’s coin-designing skills.
So he has decided to dox me, apparently going as far as hiring a private detective to look into my allegedly sordid life.
PI will confirm, every living and non living fact about you. Enjoy your soon to be elevated infamous public status.
— Attila L. Vinczer (@AttilaVinczer) July 15, 2014
So far his doxing of me is not going very well, in that the “dirt” he has dug up about me is either wildly inaccurate, not particularly “infamous”– or not information about me, specifically, at all.
His most serious not-quite accusation: That I’m a criminal. His proof? He’s dug up a 2008 arrest record for some other guy named David Futrelle, roughly a decade older than me, with a different middle initial, and living nearly 900 miles away from me. This man — frankly, he seems like an embarrassment to all of us David Futrelles — was charged with the crime of “possessing stolen goods.”
Who is @DavidFutrelle ? A criminal? http://t.co/FNBy7eNoCt
— Attila L. Vinczer (@AttilaVinczer) July 15, 2014
In case anyone is wondering, I’ve never been arrested. Except once, by campus police, for participating in a sit-in protesting apartheid. (The charges were later dropped.)
The other, er, “information” Attila has dug up is, while actually related to me and not to some other guy, is just a teensy bit inaccurate.
NOTE: There is no city named AMFOHARE, Illinois, nor do any real telephone numbers in the US start with 555.
He has also managed to figure out that I have (gasp!) practiced journalism.
@Alvhun Wow. You have determined that I once wrote a piece for The American Prospect. I don't live in their offices in DC, though, FYI.
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) July 15, 2014
And he’s suggested that I might be, er, the Antichrist:
@DavidFutrelle is infatuated with #mrm with heavy leaning on AVFM. Could @DavidFutrelle be the Antichrist or just a cheap antagonist wannabe
— Attila L. Vinczer (@AttilaVinczer) July 15, 2014
But two can play at this game. So I have begun digging up information about this Attila guy. And what I have discovered so far is shocking.
He’s been pretty cagey so far about his career as Number One Hun.
And neither will I.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Attila Vinczer is not actually the “Activia Director” of AVFM. He is the “Activism Director.” Activia is yogurt that makes you poop, allegedly. He is also not Attila the Hun, as far as I know.
“Also I have it on good authority that David Futrelle once gave somebody a glass of dihydrogen monoxide. And it is a known fact that everybody who drinks dihydrogen monoxide, dies.”
XD Love that joke!
@katz: Ooh, like the Englishman James Thames? Or the German Gertrud Schwarzwald? Or Australian Bruce Uluru / Ayers Rock? Isn’t that convenient.
Well, there really is a Bruce Highway here …
@kittehs best wishes for Fribs! My pusses send lots of head butts and gum rubs in support.
I second the heating up the food trick – has worked for our pusses many times. Also, if Fribs can have it, a little sprinkle of parmesan cheese on the food can work too (many cats love the smell*)
*at least in my experience, though my pusses are weird. I have one who is obsessed with salad dressing and olives. Another, hot drinks. Tea, coffee, cocoa – no matter, she’ll wait ’til I’m out of the room and head-butt the mug off the table to the floor so she can lick it. Needless to say, I never leave a mug of anything, anywhere, ever. Or a plate. Really, I just carry things from room to room with me.
Thanks, Tracy!
Magnus was the cocoa fiend in this house. I have it for breakfast and he’d always be up on the table afterward, dipping his paw into the remains for a lick. Presumably chocolate in such tiny amounts isn’t harmful to kitties, given how long he was with us!
Fribs might well like Parmesan. The minute I’m eating tasty cheese, she materialises from nowhere. I usually give her a tiny smidgin – cheese is WHOA fattening for cats, 28gms is like a human eating three hamburgers – but these days she just mumbles it around a bit and leaves it. Picking up cat-slimed cheese is not fun.
Cat’s do sometimes like weird things. One of my childhood cats loved split pea soup and another loved rice pilaf.
Darrow only likes normal stuff like turkey, tuna, cream cheese and ice cream. He ignores other human food except the one time I spilled some beer and he licked it up. Dracarys eats lots of weird things. She loves carbs for some reason. I can’t leave bread out for even a moment and she even likes donuts. When I first adopted her she even ate lettuce and capers but has backed off of that. She still always licks the bowl clean of salad dressing and the same goes for pasta sauce.
Strange, strange kitties.
Chips (fries) were a favourite with Abbey and Magnus. I can only guess it was whatever fat’s on them that was appealing. They liked them cooked or frozen.
My Left Behind name is Sarah Humptulips.
Can I be Lorna Gorbals?
Can I be Ann Waikikamukau: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waikikamukau
? 🙂
If we’re going for tongue-twisters for non-Scots I’ll be Hazel Carnoustie, or Alice Pittenweem.
Could ‘David Futrelle be the antichrist’. I am cracking up right now. You can see he didn’t respond the the Atilla the Hun comments. These MRAs are like cheesy cartoon villians.
@pallygirl:
Because ‘e kicked me first!
[/dadjoke]
LOL it sounds like a dad joke.
Doesn’t the concept of an antichrist assume a relatively fundamentalist xtian interpretation of the bible (i.e. taking Revelations literally as a still-to-be fulfilled prophecy)?
creepycupcake:
It’s no laughing matter. This is some top level doxxing. CIA ain’t got nothing on this shit.
I was sitting in my office, breaking in a new bottle of hooch, when HE walked in.
He had the kind of beard that looks like he carefully trims it with a guarded electric razor every morning, and legs that went all the way up, if you know what I mean.
“What can I do for you, doll?” I asked, gesturing at the guest chair.
“I’ve got a case for you,” he said, fidgeting nervously with the brim of his fedora as he waved away the whiskey bottle I offered him. “I need you to put a trace on a dame. Think you can handle it, gumshoe?”
“I charge five dollars a day, plus expenses. It can add up to hundreds of dollars. Are you sure you can afford it, cupcake?”
“Well, I’ve got lots saved up from the time I pillaged most of Europe, here’s a golden scepter as down payment.”
I eyeballed the scepter, did some arithmetic in my head, and figured it was worth about a kajillion bottles of Grand Marnier.
“You just hired yourself a detective, Mister The Hun!”
friday jones, may I present you with one gold-plated internetz?
I did a bit of a search on Peter Vinczer and Attila the Horn. It turns out the “Mint” is a very small company with 2 or 3 employees run by “an elderly man and his son” despite claiming 10 – 19 employees on their Canadian Government contract declaration.
Just saying…
@friday jones
Someone on r/againstmensrightsrights was also inspired to do a first person pulp detective parody. The gumshoe in that one drowns his sorrow in Mountain Dew instead.
http://www.reddit.com/r/againstmensrights/comments/2awncg/attila_vinczer_hires_a_private_investigator_a/
So they’re tax cheats, too? No wonder Pauly loves* them.
*for a given and very small value of “love”
lmao lmao lmao
I knew it! Monty Python was right!
Tell me, ”kittehserf”: Your real name is Bruce as well, isn’t it? Admit it!
No, wait. Your name can’t be Bruce, since it’s David. I know this because I am David as well.
The Antichrist David Appalachia, to be precise.
His irregular grasp of commas *does* suggest English as a secondary language. You should keep investigating the Hun angle here. Other avenues to pursue: 1.) Does he have exceptional equestrian skills? 2.) Does he tend to fur trim on most of his wardrobe? 3.) Does he seem to solve most people problems with beheadings?
Kittehserf, joining the best wishes for your cat chorus. As to Royal Canin, they have cans of wet food in the US. I wonder if your vet could help you get them if needed/wanted. We have a cat on their gastrointestinal diet food (plus some pancreatic powder stuff); not cheap, but keeps her healthy and active. (Naturally, she wants to eat the normal cat food we give our other cat and that one wants to eat hers.)
I think the bigger obstacle is that he thinks the antichrist is some random blogger he disagrees with.