This morning I found a strange message in my notifications on Twitter:
@DavidFutrelle Uncovers, the unrecoverable about MRAs in his own little feeble mind. Has he ever said anything good about MRAs? Anything?
— Attila L. Vinczer (@AttilaVinczer) July 15, 2014
Mr. Vinczer followed up this perplexing tweet with a bunch more insinuating that I’m a “hack,” a “pathological liar,” a “criminal,” and so on — as well as some links to what he apparently sees as “dirt” about me. (More on the latter in a moment.)
Apparently Vinczer — the “Activia Director” for men’s rights hate site A Voice for Men and the son of the genius who designed that AVFM commemorative coin — was stung by my gentle criticism of his father’s coin-designing skills.
So he has decided to dox me, apparently going as far as hiring a private detective to look into my allegedly sordid life.
PI will confirm, every living and non living fact about you. Enjoy your soon to be elevated infamous public status.
— Attila L. Vinczer (@AttilaVinczer) July 15, 2014
So far his doxing of me is not going very well, in that the “dirt” he has dug up about me is either wildly inaccurate, not particularly “infamous”– or not information about me, specifically, at all.
His most serious not-quite accusation: That I’m a criminal. His proof? He’s dug up a 2008 arrest record for some other guy named David Futrelle, roughly a decade older than me, with a different middle initial, and living nearly 900 miles away from me. This man — frankly, he seems like an embarrassment to all of us David Futrelles — was charged with the crime of “possessing stolen goods.”
Who is @DavidFutrelle ? A criminal? http://t.co/FNBy7eNoCt
— Attila L. Vinczer (@AttilaVinczer) July 15, 2014
In case anyone is wondering, I’ve never been arrested. Except once, by campus police, for participating in a sit-in protesting apartheid. (The charges were later dropped.)
The other, er, “information” Attila has dug up is, while actually related to me and not to some other guy, is just a teensy bit inaccurate.
NOTE: There is no city named AMFOHARE, Illinois, nor do any real telephone numbers in the US start with 555.
He has also managed to figure out that I have (gasp!) practiced journalism.
@Alvhun Wow. You have determined that I once wrote a piece for The American Prospect. I don't live in their offices in DC, though, FYI.
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) July 15, 2014
And he’s suggested that I might be, er, the Antichrist:
@DavidFutrelle is infatuated with #mrm with heavy leaning on AVFM. Could @DavidFutrelle be the Antichrist or just a cheap antagonist wannabe
— Attila L. Vinczer (@AttilaVinczer) July 15, 2014
But two can play at this game. So I have begun digging up information about this Attila guy. And what I have discovered so far is shocking.
He’s been pretty cagey so far about his career as Number One Hun.
And neither will I.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Attila Vinczer is not actually the “Activia Director” of AVFM. He is the “Activism Director.” Activia is yogurt that makes you poop, allegedly. He is also not Attila the Hun, as far as I know.
One quick thing on the special kidney food – most of them cats seem to hate, so she may reject the food when you try it. My vet told me that it was OK to mix that food with a small amount of a food that your cat really likes, on the principle that having them eat a small amount of the less than ideal food is better than them not eating at all, which cats can’t do for very long without risking other health problems. So what I did was found lists of commercial cats foods that broke down the nutritional content and picked the ones that he liked best that were lowest in the problem components, and those were the ones I gave him mixed with the kidney food. I also tried all the different kidney diets on him and eventually found that he would eat the Royal Canin one much more happily than any of the others, so that’s the one he got (it’s little chunks in gravy rather than a pate, and he hated pates in general). There’s also a vitamin supplement for cats that tastes meaty (smells it too) that can be poured over the kidney food to make it smell more palatable. My vet said part of the problem is that most of the kidney foods don’t have much of a smell, from a cat’s perspective, and if they don’t think it smells like food they won’t eat it.
Given that all of us who post here are demonstrably a legion of demonic cats fighting over the controls in a David Futrelle sock-puppet suit, does that mean that, back when we were all 10 years older (cos time travel is another demonic cat power, obs) and using a slightly different name we were once collectively arrested for something or other?
But apparently the real problem is that us-in-a-David suit have not said anything nice about MRAs (not actually true – didn’t we all comment on Paul Elam’s awesome ability to milk money?)
Doesn’t seem to have occurred to Atilla the Hen there that ‘saying nice things about MRAs’ and ‘saying accurate things about MRAs backed up with MRAs own words and actions,’ might not be be strictly compatible.
damselindetech:
Exactly. She has one of the most accurate handles I’ve ever seen. I literally can’t get through a paragraph of her stuff with going “… what?”
cassandrakitty:
I think A Pile of Money for Paul Elam is still my favourite – not as succinct, but definitely accurate!
where I am from, Activia is a kind of yogurt that makes you take a shit. I suppose it’s fitting as MRAs do kind of give me the shits.
Thanks for the good wishes, all!
I’m not confident that Fribs will take to the Hill’s food at all. Chicken’s pretty bland stuff and she likes her smelly fish. (Tuna farts from cats, hurk.)
The adding-a-bit-for-odour/flavour is pretty much what I suspect I’ll have to do. I asked our vet about it and her response was that it wipes out the good the special food does, but I suspect she was thinking I meant a 50/50 sort of mix. I’m not, I’m just thinking a garnish to get it past the taste test.
Well, that’s annoying. I’m just looking up the Royal Canin Australia site, and they only seem to have dry food. Fribs only has about 4.5 teeth, dry food ain’t happening!
Oh, hang on – do they have wet food in sachets?
Yes, and Iams. Ours love it. The smell ability is important – when Panda was very blocked up with a head cold one year, I hadn’t realised he hadn’t eaten for a couple of days – and that’s serious in cats because they can get feline hepatic lipidosis. As soon as I found out, I raced to the vet and got some Hill’s wet food (the special one that you can only get from vets) and a syringe. I had to mix it with water and syringe it into his mouth, which he really didn’t like. I also went to the chemist and got a vaporiser. Then it was me and him, with him huddled in the shower on a towel, with the door to the bathroom shut, and me syringing food into him every couple of hours. We had already installed those special bathroom hotpoints so I could keep the door shut while I steamed up the bathroom completely with the vaporiser.
He came right, but I thought I was going to lose him. I still panic every time he gets sneezy.
The vet said that cats only eat if they can smell their food – so a completely blocked nose means that they won’t eat. 🙁
I just looked at the prices for the Royal Canin. HOLY SHIT that stuff’s expensive. $23 for a 12 x 100gm sachet???
… aaaand IAMs don’t have specific renal diet.
Actually if she’s entering renal failure she shouldn’t really have dry food at all anyway. The Hills food almost all cats seem to hate, though, and ime it cost about the same as the Royal Canin. It’s usually cheaper if you can buy it directly and not from the vet.
If David turns out to be a suit filled with piles of puppies instead of the proper herd of cats I shall be extremely upset!
Misandry!!
Looks like it’s cheaper if you can get a larger bulk pack, like 48s: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Royal-Canin-Veterinary-Feline-Sachet/dp/B0036F3ZBW
See if the supplier can order it in, in bulk, for you. I’ve had success in the past trying to get larger packs of things that weren’t on shelves.
I’d suggest trying a few packs of any new food first to see if she’ll eat it before ordering in bulk though, unless the place you’re ordering from has a great return policy.
Fribs hasn’t wanted, or been able, to eat dry food much her whole life. She already had tooth problems when we got her as a kitten.
Scary thing about that Royal Canin price – I was looking at a discount website!
Fear not, no way would I be buying in bulk unless I knew Fribs loved the stuff. Though you know what’d happen then.
Our vet’s going to try Fribs on a bit of the Hill’s food while she’s up there, at least if Fribs isn’t too stressed out. We’ll see how it goes. Hill’s only sell through vets, unfortunately, so if that proves to be the food, I’ll be stuck with their price. They do have an insurance scheme that gives 20% off food prices, so it may be less expensive to sign up for that.
Sigh. I’d better get a decently paying job after I do that training course, that’s all I can say. Though at the moment any income would be an improvement.
Yeah, all the prescription diet ones seem to be vet-only.
Best wishes to Fribbs. Poorly animals is the worst.
Does Atilla’s ‘investigative report’ solely consist of ask jeeves? They really couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery.
It is worrying though. Hope David/us/the tiny review leaving kitten is safe. Keep up the good fight! (of gently mocking terrible design work).
In terms of smellability for cat food, the microwave can come in handy. Nuke the ghastly stuff for a few seconds – warm enough so that you can really smell it – and they’ll often go for it madly.
Of course, it means that yet another room in your house will smell like cat farts, but that’s what exhaust fans and/or open windows or doors are for.
I’m glad I read this post before going to the store. My bowel’s been on strike for a time, and this reminded me to get me some Activia yoghurt while I’m there. All thanks to the Activia Director thing.
I hereby propose a new tagline for the AVFM: Compassion for assholes and shit.
…What? At least this one is true.
Re GWW: Ow. Ow. My brain hurts after reading that. Not only are her arguments what a common person might call terrible and wrong, but also incomprehensible. And people say my train of thought is difficult to follow.
I’ve only spent one skill point on Knowledge: Christian literature, but… was that a Left Behind reference?
Mr. Futrelle,
The Feminist High Council has become aware that an associate of the website A Voice For Men, Attila L. Vinczer, has threatened via Twitter to hire a private investigator to confirm both living and non-living facts about you. As you know, all actions of the FHC and it’s supporters must remain classified. We have been so successful at acting in complete secrecy that only AVFM and some intrepid teens on reddit have learned of our Radical Feminist plans for global male gendercide.
While the investigation remains ongoing, we have concluded at this time that the private investigator Mr Vinczer has contracted is a popular search engine such as Google or an unpopular search engine such as Bing. While we are relieved that you will not be investigated by a competent adult, the FHC still feels it’s imperative to address Mr. Vinczer’s claims. It has been difficult due the fits of laughter that Mr. Vinczer’s tweets inspire, but we have a few comments and questions regarding his statements.
After hours of study, we came to the conclusion that he doesn’t know what the word inference means.
We encourage you to be a more general professor of lies, as this with afford you more flexibility with your falsehood.
We do not know the answer to his query, please lick yourself and let us know if you’re pure sourness or kind of salty.
We have concluded that this makes no damn sense.
A link provided by Mr. Vinczer contained the following:
None of this information was provided by you when you filled out your Male Feminist Blogger application form and contractional agreement. Are you in fact a company belonging to sic999?
We ask that you respond to this letter in a timely manner as we would hate to be forced to suspend the blog We Hunted The Mammoth due to some confusion over your loyalty and value to Radical Feminism.
Yours in Sisterhood,
The Feminist High Council
A Secret Bunker, CA USA
I did enjoy this tweet.
What is a comma, and how is it used?
Ohhhhh, I thought the professor of lies tweet needed an ‘a’ and a question mark. Deciphering their nonsense is hard!
Poor Fribs! I hope things work out for the best. Seconding the thing about microwaving the food — or another technique that worked on my last cats was to mix in a little hot water to make it both taste better and be a little soupier. Especially if Fribs has bad teeth, that might help.
Would drizzling some of the tuna water from a can a tuna fish over the renal food help? It would make it stinky without there being much substance there to counteract the special food.
Poor Fribbs. I hope zir stay at the doctor is calm and uneventful.
…
Holy cats, what is up with GWW? As best I could see, all she had to back up all of her beloved stereotypes were a couple of random websites, a screencap of a targeted advertisement, and, my personal favorite, a scene from Robocop. Oh, and she pulled a bunch of stuff from The Atlantic comment section to show how bigoted feminists are. The only actual articles she linked were from Psychology Today (not a scholarly publication, last time I checked) and the University of Michigan Law School website, which she said up front might be a dead link (it was live, and was actually interesting). Peer reviewed journals and hard news stories, what’s that? And I thought she was supposed to be their shining beacon of intellectualism.
…
Thanks for posting the bulletin from the Feminist High Council, brooked.
Thank goodness! I was worried that Operation Weather Control might be compromised. I knew that I was a fool to be concerned, the Matriarchs always have things under control.
Also I’m on stand-by in case we need to evacuate Agent Futrelle to the solid-gold bunker under Whole Foods. Special Operative FM awaits the orders of the gynocracy.