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A Voice for Men's Attila Vinczer is trying to "dox" me. It's not going well for him so far.

Not Attila Vinczer
Not Attila Vinczer

This morning I found a strange message in my notifications on Twitter:

Mr. Vinczer followed up this perplexing tweet with a bunch more insinuating that I’m a “hack,” a “pathological liar,” a “criminal,” and so on — as well as some links to what he apparently sees as “dirt” about me. (More on the latter in a moment.)

Apparently Vinczer — the “Activia Director” for men’s rights hate site A Voice for Men and the son of the genius who designed that AVFM commemorative coin — was stung by my gentle criticism of his father’s coin-designing skills.

So he has decided to dox me, apparently going as far as hiring a private detective to look into my allegedly sordid life.

So far his doxing of me is not going very well, in that the “dirt” he has dug up about me is either wildly inaccurate, not particularly “infamous”– or not information about me, specifically, at all.

His most serious not-quite accusation: That I’m a criminal. His proof? He’s dug up a 2008 arrest record for some other guy named David Futrelle, roughly a decade older than me, with a different middle initial, and living nearly 900 miles away from me. This man — frankly, he seems like an embarrassment to all of us David Futrelles — was charged with the crime of “possessing stolen goods.”

In case anyone is wondering, I’ve never been arrested. Except once, by campus police, for participating in a sit-in protesting apartheid. (The charges were later dropped.)

The other, er, “information” Attila has dug up is, while actually related to me and not to some other guy, is just a teensy bit inaccurate.

 

Attila L. Vinczer ‏@Alvhun 9h  Who is @DavidFutrelle ? http://sic1.nguso.com/Illinois/1132/313412506/David-Futrelle.html …      Reply     Retweet     2 Favorited  David Futrelle ‏@DavidFutrelle 2h  @Alvhun Yes, you got me. "David Futrelle is a U.S. company located in 147broadst, AMFOHARE, Illinois." My phone # is indeed 773 555-4444      Reply     Retweet     Favorite     Delete  Attila L. Vinczer ‏@Alvhun 2h  @DavidFutrelle Bullseye. 3:18 PM - 15 Jul 2014 · Details Hide conversation      Reply     Retweet     Favorite  Tweet text Reply to @Alvhun   David Futrelle ‏@DavidFutrelle 1h  @Alvhun Feel free to give me a call. That number again is 773 555-4444. I'll just hanging out in my home in AMFOHARE, Illinois.

NOTE: There is no city named AMFOHARE, Illinois, nor do any real telephone numbers in the US start with 555.

He has also managed to figure out that I have (gasp!) practiced journalism.

And he’s suggested that I might be, er, the Antichrist:

But two can play at this game. So I have begun digging up information about this Attila guy. And what I have discovered so far is shocking.

 

David Futrelle ‏@DavidFutrelle  @Alvhun Attila Viczer, is this you? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attila  Were you the ruler of the Huns from 434 until your death in 453?

David Futrelle ‏@DavidFutrelle  @Alvhun Attila, were you responsible for "so many murders and blood-lettings that the dead could not be numbered?" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attila

He’s been pretty cagey so far about his career as Number One Hun.

 

David Futrelle ‏@DavidFutrelle 2h  @Alvhun Attila Viczer, did you plunder the Balkans, and attempt to conquer Roman Gaul and Rome itself, devestating northern Italy?      Reply     Retweet     Favorite     Delete  Attila L. Vinczer ‏@Alvhun 1h  @DavidFutrelle Can you be more specific professor of lies. 3:16 PM - 15 Jul 2014 · Details Hide conversation      Reply     Retweet     Favorite  Tweet text Reply to @Alvhun   David Futrelle ‏@DavidFutrelle 1h  @Alvhun You know what you did, Attila! The Roman Gauls will not forget!

And neither will I.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Attila Vinczer is not actually the “Activia Director” of AVFM. He is the “Activism Director.” Activia is yogurt that makes you poop, allegedly. He is also not Attila the Hun, as far as I know.

 

 

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emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
6 years ago

This reminds me of interactions I’ve had with Attila. I usually think he’s just being silly/trolly, but that’s because it’s hard for me to imagine anyone being that ridiculous and meaning it.

But I will be surprised if he’s actually hired a PI.

@Phoenecian, IIRC Lily Futrelle was a relative of David’s. I think it’s something Attila has harped on, actually.

Hey, look, I found the model for the AVfM coin!

I half expected Goatse, but I can’t imagine you linking to that. (Wikipedia link, no pictures)

emilygoddess - MOD
emilygoddess - MOD
6 years ago

On the other hand, disappointing. I’m still hoping it ruptures in it’s own and I can gawk at the nastiness of it without needing medical attention.

You would fit right in where I work. One tech in particular always gets a heads-up when the vets are about to drain an abscess, and I will try to take a minute to watch as well. It’s so satisfying!

Kittehs, I’m sorry about Fribs. My kitty has renal problems too. The special diet really worked for her, but obvs it requires that they actually eat it.

creepycupcake
creepycupcake
6 years ago

These mrm people are like cartoon villians.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

I’m sorry about Fribs, Kitteh.

AcidTrial
AcidTrial
6 years ago

Someone should tell Mr. Vinczer that Google is not a PI.

khymchanur
khymchanur
6 years ago

I’m confused about living versus non living facts.

Maybe he means “vital statistics”?

twincats
twincats
6 years ago

I’m always distressed to hear about any sick kitties! When my cat got a bit of a upper respiratory thing, I found (at the natural food store across the parking lot from where I work) something called Tasha’s Herbs for Cats*. So, I got the immune support and the respiratory support and they worked like a charm! Of course, I ate a lot of tuna sandwiches in order to procure the tuna juice to get Bunny (don’t ask, I didn’t name him!) to ingest them but it was all worth it!

*Oddly, the Google doesn’t seem to find a dedicated web site, just online pet retailers that carry the brand. :/ On the other hand, this https://b-naturals.com/by-type-c-22/cat-care-c-22_20/ website carries Tasha’s kidney formula. Sorry, but I always bork links.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

@khymchanur: did you mean Vitalstatistix? Although my favourite character is Dogmatix, closely followed by Getafix.

I think I was in my late teens when I actually read those names properly /embarrassed face.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Dogmatix for Manboobz vice president!

(The president has to be a cat, obviously. She can be named Misandrix.)

serrana
serrana
6 years ago

Aw, Kittehs, sorry to hear about your kitty! Give Fribs a kiss on the head for me. And I can second cloudiah’s suggestion of a little hot water on food to entice them to eat.

katz
6 years ago

I’ve only spent one skill point on Knowledge: Christian literature, but… was that a Left Behind reference?

Yes, from an author who has said that first name + geographical feature is a good way to name foreign characters.

Falconer
6 years ago

Yes, from an author who has said that first name + geographical feature is a good way to name foreign characters.

Allow me to introduce my high born private detective, Lord Rupert Englishchannel.

He’s, like, Lord Peter Wimsey, except, you know, completely an original character.

His continental rival is Guy d’Ardennes.

Amy
Amy
6 years ago

Oh my god, your sense of humour is too good.

Children of the Broccoli
Children of the Broccoli
6 years ago

Catbert is the ideal manboobz president, he has experience in management (he was the head of HR at Dilbert’s company) and misandry (terrorizing Dilbert and his coworkers). Catbert 2014!

cloudiah
6 years ago

What a great way to come up with character names!

Canadian: Evan Rumpcove (or Liam Otterfalls)
Icelandic: Brynja Norður-Þingeyjarsýsla
Honduran: Ana Alligatornose
USian: Aiden Pineybutt
N. Irish: Ruby Slough-na-more

RAL
RAL
6 years ago

When I saw that Vinczer was hiring a private detective to investigate David I remembered that TV series from thirty or forty years ago – The Rockford Files
Does anyone here recall if Rockford ever got paid in any of those episodes? My memory tells me that frequently his clients turned out to be using him for underhand purposes and were themselves arrested before they could pay him.
Does anyone else here remember any of those plots?

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Catbert is quite wonderful, for an evil HR director.

Puddleglum
6 years ago

Canadian: Evan Rumpcove (or Liam Otterfalls)

Joe Dildo

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

Oh my gawd. Laughing out loud here in the library.

Hey, Attila, I’ve got one for you! David Futrelle caused an unauthorized burst of loud merriment at the Los Angeles Public Library, Pico Union branch.

It’s entirely possible that somebody sitting nearby was mildly annoyed.

The dastard.

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

Also I have it on good authority that David Futrelle once gave somebody a glass of dihydrogen monoxide. And it is a known fact that everybody who drinks dihydrogen monoxide, dies.

cloudiah
6 years ago

As a librarian, I feel I must shush you, Lady Mondegreen. Except that, as a librarian, I encourage merriment in the library so carry on! XD

p.s. I love the Pico-Union branch. I once did a LA Conservancy walking tour around that neighborhood with some friends.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

Thanks for the good wishes, all! Frizbee’s up at the vet now. She’ll be in for a few days getting her kidneys flushed. They’ll probably ring me Saturday or Sunday to come and bring her home.

In terms of smellability for cat food, the microwave can come in handy. Nuke the ghastly stuff for a few seconds – warm enough so that you can really smell it – and they’ll often go for it madly.

Of course, it means that yet another room in your house will smell like cat farts, but that’s what exhaust fans and/or open windows or doors are for.

That’s all right, it’s in the room that smells like cat farts anyway. But thank you, I didn’t know about heating the food and that might be a very simple solution (fingers crossed).

Would drizzling some of the tuna water from a can a tuna fish over the renal food help? It would make it stinky without there being much substance there to counteract the special food.

That’s pretty much what I’m thinking of doing, yes.

Funny thing is, she doesn’t like her food really gloppy – semi-solid appeals to her. She’ll still tackle raw meat if it’s in small enough chunks.

Yep. Catbert does look like the ultimate evil Furrinati overlord.

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

Cloudiah! I love this neighborhood. I live very close to the library.

I knew you were an Angelina. If you ever make it to a CFI-Los Angeles event (CFI-LA is in Hollywood), look me up. I volunteer there, and can most always be found in the bookstore area. Ask for Stacy. Lecture this Sunday morning by Jennifer Oullette on the science of the Self!

http://www.centerforinquiry.net/la/events/jennifer_ouellette_me_myself_and_why/

Lady Mondegreen
6 years ago

Best wishes for Frizbee, kittehserf. Poor lil critter.

theladyzombie
6 years ago

Instead of hiring a PI, think of all the Ramen that money could have bought for menz who were spermjacked or lost their jobs because an evil woman reported them to HR or lost both legs in a coal mining accident!

For shame!

Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

“Also I have it on good authority that David Futrelle once gave somebody a glass of dihydrogen monoxide. And it is a known fact that everybody who drinks dihydrogen monoxide, dies.”

XD Love that joke!

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
6 years ago

@katz: Ooh, like the Englishman James Thames? Or the German Gertrud Schwarzwald? Or Australian Bruce Uluru / Ayers Rock? Isn’t that convenient.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

Well, there really is a Bruce Highway here …

Tracy
6 years ago

@kittehs best wishes for Fribs! My pusses send lots of head butts and gum rubs in support.

I second the heating up the food trick – has worked for our pusses many times. Also, if Fribs can have it, a little sprinkle of parmesan cheese on the food can work too (many cats love the smell*)

*at least in my experience, though my pusses are weird. I have one who is obsessed with salad dressing and olives. Another, hot drinks. Tea, coffee, cocoa – no matter, she’ll wait ’til I’m out of the room and head-butt the mug off the table to the floor so she can lick it. Needless to say, I never leave a mug of anything, anywhere, ever. Or a plate. Really, I just carry things from room to room with me.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

Thanks, Tracy!

Magnus was the cocoa fiend in this house. I have it for breakfast and he’d always be up on the table afterward, dipping his paw into the remains for a lick. Presumably chocolate in such tiny amounts isn’t harmful to kitties, given how long he was with us!

Fribs might well like Parmesan. The minute I’m eating tasty cheese, she materialises from nowhere. I usually give her a tiny smidgin – cheese is WHOA fattening for cats, 28gms is like a human eating three hamburgers – but these days she just mumbles it around a bit and leaves it. Picking up cat-slimed cheese is not fun.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Cat’s do sometimes like weird things. One of my childhood cats loved split pea soup and another loved rice pilaf.

Darrow only likes normal stuff like turkey, tuna, cream cheese and ice cream. He ignores other human food except the one time I spilled some beer and he licked it up. Dracarys eats lots of weird things. She loves carbs for some reason. I can’t leave bread out for even a moment and she even likes donuts. When I first adopted her she even ate lettuce and capers but has backed off of that. She still always licks the bowl clean of salad dressing and the same goes for pasta sauce.

Strange, strange kitties.

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

Chips (fries) were a favourite with Abbey and Magnus. I can only guess it was whatever fat’s on them that was appealing. They liked them cooked or frozen.

katz
6 years ago

@katz: Ooh, like the Englishman James Thames? Or the German Gertrud Schwarzwald? Or Australian Bruce Uluru / Ayers Rock? Isn’t that convenient.

My Left Behind name is Sarah Humptulips.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Can I be Lorna Gorbals?

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Can I be Ann Waikikamukau: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waikikamukau

? 🙂

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

If we’re going for tongue-twisters for non-Scots I’ll be Hazel Carnoustie, or Alice Pittenweem.

creepycupcake
creepycupcake
6 years ago

Could ‘David Futrelle be the antichrist’. I am cracking up right now. You can see he didn’t respond the the Atilla the Hun comments. These MRAs are like cheesy cartoon villians.

strivingally
6 years ago

@pallygirl:
Because ‘e kicked me first!

[/dadjoke]

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

LOL it sounds like a dad joke.

Doesn’t the concept of an antichrist assume a relatively fundamentalist xtian interpretation of the bible (i.e. taking Revelations literally as a still-to-be fulfilled prophecy)?

tinyorc
6 years ago

creepycupcake:

Could ‘David Futrelle be the antichrist’. I am cracking up right now.

It’s no laughing matter. This is some top level doxxing. CIA ain’t got nothing on this shit.

friday jones
friday jones
6 years ago

I was sitting in my office, breaking in a new bottle of hooch, when HE walked in.

He had the kind of beard that looks like he carefully trims it with a guarded electric razor every morning, and legs that went all the way up, if you know what I mean.

“What can I do for you, doll?” I asked, gesturing at the guest chair.

“I’ve got a case for you,” he said, fidgeting nervously with the brim of his fedora as he waved away the whiskey bottle I offered him. “I need you to put a trace on a dame. Think you can handle it, gumshoe?”

“I charge five dollars a day, plus expenses. It can add up to hundreds of dollars. Are you sure you can afford it, cupcake?”

“Well, I’ve got lots saved up from the time I pillaged most of Europe, here’s a golden scepter as down payment.”

I eyeballed the scepter, did some arithmetic in my head, and figured it was worth about a kajillion bottles of Grand Marnier.

“You just hired yourself a detective, Mister The Hun!”

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

friday jones, may I present you with one gold-plated internetz?

schwadevivre
6 years ago

I did a bit of a search on Peter Vinczer and Attila the Horn. It turns out the “Mint” is a very small company with 2 or 3 employees run by “an elderly man and his son” despite claiming 10 – 19 employees on their Canadian Government contract declaration.

Just saying…

brooked
6 years ago

@friday jones

Someone on r/againstmensrightsrights was also inspired to do a first person pulp detective parody. The gumshoe in that one drowns his sorrow in Mountain Dew instead.

http://www.reddit.com/r/againstmensrights/comments/2awncg/attila_vinczer_hires_a_private_investigator_a/

But my questions disappeared like a fundie’s argument in a puff of euphoria as soon as my customer walked through the door. He looked like trouble had just walked in, a bright blue eyed brunette, with logic that went on for days. He said, in a tone like a man who’s just seen his sperm jacked, “I want you to dig up the dirt on the man who insulted my coin design – David Futrelle.”

kittehserf MOD
kittehserf MOD
6 years ago

I did a bit of a search on Peter Vinczer and Attila the Horn. It turns out the “Mint” is a very small company with 2 or 3 employees run by “an elderly man and his son” despite claiming 10 – 19 employees on their Canadian Government contract declaration.

So they’re tax cheats, too? No wonder Pauly loves* them.

*for a given and very small value of “love”

Boogerghost
Boogerghost
6 years ago

lmao lmao lmao

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
6 years ago

Well, there really is a Bruce Highway here …

I knew it! Monty Python was right!

Tell me, ”kittehserf”: Your real name is Bruce as well, isn’t it? Admit it!

No, wait. Your name can’t be Bruce, since it’s David. I know this because I am David as well.

The Antichrist David Appalachia, to be precise.

Mercutia
Mercutia
6 years ago

His irregular grasp of commas *does* suggest English as a secondary language. You should keep investigating the Hun angle here. Other avenues to pursue: 1.) Does he have exceptional equestrian skills? 2.) Does he tend to fur trim on most of his wardrobe? 3.) Does he seem to solve most people problems with beheadings?

Skye
Skye
6 years ago

Kittehserf, joining the best wishes for your cat chorus. As to Royal Canin, they have cans of wet food in the US. I wonder if your vet could help you get them if needed/wanted. We have a cat on their gastrointestinal diet food (plus some pancreatic powder stuff); not cheap, but keeps her healthy and active. (Naturally, she wants to eat the normal cat food we give our other cat and that one wants to eat hers.)

katz
6 years ago

Doesn’t the concept of an antichrist assume a relatively fundamentalist xtian interpretation of the bible (i.e. taking Revelations literally as a still-to-be fulfilled prophecy)?

I think the bigger obstacle is that he thinks the antichrist is some random blogger he disagrees with.