So, that happened.
The debate between Matt Binder (from the Majority Report) and Paul Elam (from A Pile of Money for Paul Elam) went off yesterday. I can’t say it went off without a hitch, because it was actually quite hitch-full. Indeed, it was kind of a disaster — at least for one Paul Elam.
Paul’s the one who wanted the debate. He chose the topic, he chose the format, he controlled the venue. And he lost the debate rather spectacularly, grimly reading a succession of prepared statements while Binder shot down his arguments with common-sensical one-lines and raised issues that Elam didn’t or couldn’t address.
Binder rattled Elam early by presenting him with an unattributed quote that sounded virtually identical to Elliot Rodger’s misogynistic rants and which Elam dismissed as something that no MRA would ever say; Binder then revealed that it was a quote from Stefan Molyneux, the MRA “philosopher” who was one of the featured speakers at AVFM’s recent conference. (Indeed, it was a quote that I highlighted in my first Misogyny Theater videos on Mr. M.)
Then, after Elam read off a list of all the various women who have associated themselves in some way with AVFM, Binder knocked the wind out of him by asking, quite simply, so what?
The most surreal moment, in a debate full of surreal moments, came 39 minutes into the debate. Binder had spent much of his previous two segments discussing an assortment of issues that the Men’s Rights movement largely ignores, even though they primarily affect men, and men of color in particular — from stop and frisk policies in major cities to the deaths of American soldiers in wars overseas.
But instead of answering Binder’s question –why hasn’t the Men’s Rights movement actually tried to do something about these problems? — Elam instead read his prepared “closing statement,” responding not to anything Binder had argued but to the arguments Elam, writing the statement before the debate, had assumed he would make.
And so, after hearing Binder passionately argue that the MRM needs to fight for the rights of men in prison and for the lives of men sent to fight and possibly die in wars, we heard Elam beating away on a straw man, declaring — after calling him a bigot — that Binder
has been led to believe, quite falsely, that gender justice mandates the summary rejection of all men’s problems in favor of a view that can only see men as the problem.
The debate, such as it was, lurched to its conclusion in an assortment of miscues and technical glitches a few minutes later. Dean Esmay, the incompetent and often ineffectual “moderator” of the debate, rocking back and forth on his chair in a darkened room, eyes mostly closed, plaintively asked Binder to send him “that particular story” on stop and frisk in New York city that Binder had referred to earlier in the debate. Esmay, defensive and exasperated, explained that
we are an all-volunteer organization and we don’t see every story. I’d like to see that story from Matt, please do send it to me.
Binder, incredulous, pointed out that stop and frisk has been in the headlines for years, as Esmay, visible in a small box at the bottom of the screen, rubbed his head as though he were developing a migraine. Esmay repeated his request, saying that
we cover a lot of stories; I’m just asking for you to send me that.
There were then a few uncomfortable moments as Esmay and Elam tried to figure out how to close down the Google Hangout that was hosting the debate.
Esmay: “Are we off?”
Binder: “Still says ‘live’ for me.”
Esmay: “Paul?”
Elam: “Yeah, I’m still having problem with the button.”
Esmay laughs.
Elam: “Isn’t that wonderful?”
Long silence. Esmay rocks back and forth on his chair.
Esmay: “Just close the window.”
A few moments later, he did.
I think we may need to have another AVFM graphics contest, incorporating what I think should be AVFM’s new slogans:
“I’m still having problem with the button.”
“We are an all-volunteer organization and we don’t see every story.”
A Voice for Men is clearly not ready for its closeup.
Also I only find him (del Toro) attractive when he’s acting, not so much when he’s just walking around being a regular person.
Argenti: deal! 🙂
How do you feel about Russian-Korean rock stars from the 1980s? (Viktor Tsoi)
Seconding how similar yet different it is, cassandra, and it intrigues me, too!
Yes, I’m ten years older than you. I’ve found I’ve got much less interested in guys who’re much younger than me, as I age. It’s not that long since I’d look at guys in their twenties or thirties and think yes, attractive, but now there’s just too much of a gap. I’m thinking forties, fifties, these days. It’s all theoretical of course, because I’m effectively asexual and aromantic when it comes to anyone ‘cept Himself. Or rather, I’m not shopping or even window-shopping these days, because I’ve got what I want. If I notice a bloke these days, it’s likely to be 1) he’s got a really good hairdo, I wish more guys would groom that well; 2) he reminds me of X; 3) look at that knitwear I WANT THAT KNITWEAR.
Which leads to another question, if anyone’s interested in answering: have you found your interest in even looking at other people, let alone anything more, has simply dried up once you’re with the person you love, in a long-term relationship? Because that’s what happened to me and I really don’t think it’s just age and loss of libido or anything like that.
@ Katz
Good looking but not my type? Mr “I want everyone to want to hug me” who I was talking about above is also Korean, btw.
@ Kittehs
On the looking while in a relationship thing, nope, I still look as much as ever. What has happened is that the percentage of men who I find visually appealing who look somewhat like Mr C has increased, whereas the occasions on which I look at someone very different looking to him and think “oh hey there!” have decreased. I do think there’s a sort of imprinting thing that can happen to people in long term relationships, and it just manifests a bit differently in different people.
*checks* River Phoenix was 23, which is a bit better I guess, since I’m just shy of 29. And I agree that they just haven’t found anyone who compares — I’ve probably seen it 100 times, but his performance in Stand By Me still gets me every time. (And now I have Lollipop stuck in my head…)
Oh man, I still remember going to see Stand By Me in the theater when it came out, and The Mosquito Coast. Actually the other sad thing about Stand By Me is, remember how great Corey Feldman was in that? And then his personal and professional life went to shit, because Hollywood is full of child abusers who feed kids drugs.
cassandra – yes, it’s clear from lots of Mammotheers that looking while in a LTR is very much a thing, lol. That’s what had me wondering if anyone else has had the loss of interest happen. I suspect it’s less common. (From the University of Assfax, Mygutfeeling Dept.)
I should get your email address at some point, we can randomly spam each other with pictures of men who we think are pretty and go “this one? y/n?”.
I think the difference in looking mostly at people who look a bit like partner versus not looking at all may be related to libido in general? I mean, I’ve always been pretty lecherous, if we’re being honest. Also weird/interesting, whatever it is happening there hasn’t had any impact on the women I tend to find attractive at all.
I’ve heard a lot of people say that Hayden Christensen is pretty or hot, but I really don’t get it.
Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor was pretty adorable, but the feels are definitely more like “Awww, you adorable, tragic, poor wee little lamb!” and less “I’d really like to do that.”
His ridiculously happy “Everybody Lives!!” face was the best.
Still, not pants feels, more “Can I be your new best friend, and can we make this ‘everybody lives’ thing happen more often, because your happy face is happy making? And, TARDIS?” feels.
I was about 14 when River Phoenix, Brandon Lee and Kurt Cobain all died in a short time span. That was very rough for a girl that age. Part of me is still not over it. Especially Cobain.
WWTH — oh gods yes…my mother said they reopened the investigation though, which is a sort of bitter solace?
Cassandra — I know, that and Lost Boys and then wtf people, he was a fine kid, why’d you make him a fucked up adult? Another one for that group — the kid from Home Alone, wtf’s his name?
Cassandra // kitteh — I have both your emails if you want to swap emails.
@ WWTH
I feel you. I was in high school when Stiv Bators and Johnny Thunders died, and wasn’t over it for a long time.
I like your thinking!
If you want it, it’s frenchqueen13 at gmail, etc.
We really should get a grant for this research. It’s science!
Also, about River Phoenix, part of my abiding distrust for LA and for people in the movie scene comes from knowing there were people who vaguely knew him who stood there any watched him dying on the sidewalk and did nothing. Christina Applegate in particular I’ve never been too fond of after that.
::points up::
That comment was for cassandra. Remember to refresh page, remember to refresh page! 😛
CE didn’t do anything for me (his hair was way too short, for one thing) but that leather jacket, that’s another story. There’s a great and very useful bit portrait of him wearing it.
Argenti – you mean Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone?
Culkin, yep. Really it’s the kids who made it through that system without lasting emotional damage who’re the exception.
Gorbunov i Gorchakov, Joseph Brodsky’s poetic dialogue between two inmates in a Soviet asylum, based on his own experiences. Hard to find in English but here is Brodsky reciting one of his English-language poems.
Yep, and yep. But he came out particularly worse the wear.
Cassandra — idk how true it is, but I read recently he said, before he collapsed, that he thought he was OD’ing. So yeah, Depp is about the only one there that night that I can abide, and from everything I’ve read he didn’t know until after River was dead.
Eccleston made me go “I’d really like to do that”…in a very literal sense. That episode is, I think, the only New Who where “everybody lives”. Hm, the Christmas special with the awesome mansion and WWII? Does everyone survive that episode? I think that one may actually end up with extra people living, cuz Timey Whimey…
Wait, why has nobody mentioned my countryman so far in this conversation? Terrible oversight. Anyway, Ewan McGregor, gorgeous man, especially with long hair like he had in Shallow Grave.
Not my type, but he rocks a kilt.
::ducks::
Speaking of lovely Scots:
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/65/92/d3/6592d3edc6909185c38daafaefff490b.jpg
Also has anyone mentioned Vincent Perez? Or Stuart Townsend?