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One Last Damn AVFM Conference Update: Man With a Camera Edition

It wasn't this guy.
It wasn’t this guy.

One last AVFM Conference update, with links to two more stories about that historic event.

The first, a gently skeptical Washington Post story by Monica Hesse titled, with a certain irony, “Men’s rights activists, gathering to discuss all the ways society has done them wrong.”

The whole thing is worth reading. My favorite bit:

One presenter, a military veteran speaking on the treatment of veterans returning from war, put up a PowerPoint slide alleging that 70 percent of men returning from war get divorced, and 90 percent do so within five years. When asked about the source of this statistic, he said, “That particular statistic is from my personal observations. I’m just speaking here as a dude.”

Ah, the prestigious Journal of Statistical Dudeness!

The second, well, it’s a bit more disturbing. DarkHorseSwore – a regular in the AgainstMensRights subreddit who raised money to go to Detroit to cover the convention only to be turned away at the door – managed to finally get an audience with some of the conference attendees and organizers – after the convention, as they celebrated at a bar and then in a hotel lobby. She got this access because none of them knew who she was. (Eventually Dean Esmay showed up and had her escorted off the premises.)

Now DarkHorseSwore has set up a website – DarkHorseSwore.com – and has started posting about the strange 5 ½ hours she spent amongst the AVFMers. She tells the tale of a strange encounter with one of the Honey Badgers and then an even stranger tale of an even stranger encounter with an old man and his camera. You’ll have to go read it. Be warned: It’s creepy as hell.

Oh, and she picked up some amazing conference swag as well. And by “amazing” I mean “possibly the worst conference swag I’ve ever seen, I mean, what the hell, and also why are they all beige?”

A wooden necklace thing, symbolizing who the hell knows what!
A wooden necklace thingy, symbolizing who the hell knows what!
A "What Would Honey Badgers Do?" button!
A “What Would Honey Badgers Do?” button!
And last but not least, a Shrink for Men chapstick! It's minty!
And last but not least, a Shrink 4 Men chapstick! It’s minty!

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cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

In a city the size of Detroit you’d think there would be some local proto-MRAs who’d show up, especially once they started offering to give away tickets for free. But nope, all I see is the older guys.

@Sir Bodsworth

I’ve noticed that most of the younger MRAs who say the really nasty stuff online make some effort to hide their real identity. Could be that they’re more net savvy and aware of how stuff they say online could follow them around, but could also just be that they’re more worried about rejection by their peer group, whereas for some of the older guys who love AVFM I get the impression that they lead very lonely lives and don’t really have a peer group to worry about offending.

(Note that this does not excuse the things they say online – being lonely isn’t justification for being a hateful asshole.)

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

Maybe the younger ones were too busy with their dudebro gamer activism to be able to attend the conference.

Sir Bodsworth Ruggleby III
Sir Bodsworth Ruggleby III
10 years ago

@ emilygoddess – oh yeah, I forgot how overpriced this thing was.

@ Cassandrakitty — also didn’t think of that. There’s a level of everyday misogyny that, sadly, most people don’t balk at, but showing MRA level hatred will lose you friends quickly.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

The Chartreuse Vegan Capsule — the bald guy right in the camera’s focus is Forney? *throws a party* that means it’s not my ex!! You just made my day.

brooked
10 years ago

Or their parents wouldn’t let them attend a two day conference without a chaperone.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
10 years ago

Besides, the younger internet misogynists are probably saving their conference-going money for anime or sci fi conventions. Lots more women to harass at those than were ever going to turn up to an AVFM event.

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

Well, they do need to save their energy for going around harassing female cosplayers as being fake. All that finger pointing must be exhausting.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

I always got the impression that the reddit MRAs were younger and the AVFM MRAs were a little older.

The Chartreuse Vegan Capsule
The Chartreuse Vegan Capsule
10 years ago

“The Chartreuse Vegan Capsule — the bald guy right in the camera’s focus is Forney?”

I’m pretty sure.

*throws a party* that means it’s not my ex!!”

OK!

” You just made my day.”

Glad to be of service.

And yeah, if you peruse the internet blogs and forums it seems MRAs veer older whereas PUAs and MGTOWs veer younger in age.

redonkulas
10 years ago

I am the one who gave that statistic. and I am still in the military and can not speak on behalf of the military. If the usual divorce rate is 50% why is it unbelievable that 70% of comebat troop return to a divorce and 90% are divorced within 5 years? I also run secondclasscitizen.org and have spoken to over 3500 service members since 2007 and that stat rings true . I am the only one tracking this stat. But in the end I am just a dude talking about dude stuff at redonkulas.com

cloudiah
10 years ago

that stat rings true

Um, statistics don’t really work that way, at least not if you want anyone to take you seriously?

Interestingly, it appears that survey data indicate that military divorce rates are getting lower:

http://www.military.com/daily-news/2013/01/23/military-divorce-rate-down-slightly-in-2012.html

But it’s really easy to get access to reputable studies of the military divorce rate, so there’s really no excuse for just pulling numbers out of the air and using them because they “ring true.”

Here’s another study that shows that the divorce rate is higher for female soldiers than it is for male soldiers, and that the divorce rate increases as deployment lengths rise (but is still nowhere near the rate you claim):

http://www.rand.org/news/press/2013/09/03.html

I have found literally no study that bears out your figures, not even close.

redonkulas
10 years ago
Reply to  cloudiah

I have been with 3 units since the war began, in all 7 out of 10 married soldiers returned to divorce and only 6 couples out of the 500 men in 3 units , since are still together? That is way beyond the 90% number? and the pentagon numbers are a joke. this needs to be studied and documented by a social scientist. it is no claim I saw it first hand. I guess you can say I am an actual witness

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

But he talked to some other guys and they confirmed what he said. It’s not like it could possibly be selection bias or anything. MRAs are the most STEM man logicky of all the human beings and their “facts” could never, ever be anything but true!

Ally S
10 years ago

It’s okay, redonkulas. Your supporters will believe you even if you pulled that figure from your ass – you’re a man, after all, and of course the most ardent and unapologetic supporters of male misogynists trust everything that misogynist men say.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

RE: redonkulas

the pentagon numbers are a joke. this needs to be studied and documented by a social scientist.

“Screw the numbers I HAVE ANECDOTES!”

Seriously, dude, I didn’t expect you to double down on your bullshit TWICE!

cloudiah
10 years ago

Redonkulas, Social scientists are the ones providing these studies that you are rejecting in favor of your own personal experience, which is based on a sample that is not randomized.

Here, by contrast, is the sample that the Rand study (made up largely of social scientists!) was based on just for comparison:

The Defense Manpower Data Center’s Proxy Perstempo (personnel tempo) file is the main source of data. This longitudinal file, updated quarterly, has individual-level records on active-duty service members including information on time deployed, military occupation, education, pay grade, and AFQT score category. Information for both hostile and nonhostile deployments is inferred from administrative pay records. The Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS), a database of military service members and their families, has information on the marital status of service members.5 We include all military personnel who entered military service and married in the military between March 1999 and June 2008.6 We observe each individual’s entire history of deployments after their first marriage. The sample includes 462,444 enlisted service members.

cloudiah
10 years ago

More from the Rand study, which sadly seems to be behind a paywall:

Figure 1 also displays the annual divorce rate among enlisted personnel (the number of divorces in a given year relative to the number of intact marriages at the start of the year). This rate decreased from 3.1 in 2000 to 2.7 % in 2001, but then increased to 3.5 % in 2002 as deployments became more frequent and dangerous. The pace of deployments is highest between 2003 and 2007; however, the annual divorce rate is relatively constant over this period. Perhaps this is because couples selecting into marriage after 9/11 form accurate expectations of the high pace of deployment they will face, and because some couples married before 9/11 and surprised by the higher expected pace of deployment have already divorced by 2003 or 2004.

If you’d like to see the study, I might be able to arrange something. I’m not comfortable giving you my email, but you could email David and I could send it to him or something. Let me know.

redonkulas
10 years ago

I lived it, and you believe when you join the army or military during a time of war with the high deployment rate make divorce less then in the real world? OK I also marched down main street with leave it to Beaver? I lived it, I saw it, I recorded it.

cloudiah
10 years ago

Dude, we don’t need to mock you when you’re doing such a good job making a mockery of yourself.

No one here is denying that serving in the military, coupled with long deployments, can put stress on marriages and lead to a greater divorce rate. But your numbers are flat out wrong, and you keep telling us that we should believe them because you really, really believe them yourself.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

*sigh* Where are our army vets when we need them? I’m sure Hyena Girl or pecunium could take care of this.

redonkulas
10 years ago
Reply to  cloudiah

for high operational soldiers like the 82nd, 101st, special forces, rangers, MARSOC and seals the numbers are correct, I spoke to over 3500 of them over 7 years plus seen it first hand. they are not tracking this statistic. but its cool, believe what you will. I am a military man and say this. “the numbers put out by the pentagon are wrong” it would not be the first time the government has lied to us.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

You recorded Leave It To Beaver?

contrapangloss
10 years ago

Cloudiah, I’d be interested in that study! But, you might not need to send me anything… I’ve got access to some journals on the far sides of a paywall by virtue of a nearby campus.

Could I get the title of the study? It might be interesting reading…