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Misogyny Theater: Sandman in The Friendzone Bullpen

Welcome to the third episode of Misogyny Theater!

Today, we bring to life (sort of) some audio excerpts from a video by Sandman, a prolific videoblogger and self-described Man Going His Own Way. He addresses such topics as the friendzone, Mr. Big from Sex and the City, and the shelf life of the human vergina. Well, that’s how he pronounces it, anyway.

The audio is taken from his video “Friendzone Revenge,” starting about 3:50 in. I edited his remarks for length and to remove repetition.

As someone who watched a bit of Sex and the City back in the day, I feel that I should note that Sandman’s “analysis” of Mr. Big is pretty much total bullshit. I would also like to note that the show would have been ten times better if Patrick Warburton had played Mr. Big. And possibly painted his face once in a while.

The sound clip of birds tweeting came from freeSFX.co.uk.

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gorillaella
10 years ago

I picture him in a superman costume (which is too big for him), walking into the sunset (and back to his Mom’s basement, singing (off key), I DID IT MYYYYY WAAAAAY

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Ah, these MGTOW always seem like such happy, pleasant chaps.

Random, but does anyone know who coined the term “cock carousel” and when?

It’s just such an odd concept.

Leum
Leum
10 years ago

Um, can we not mock people for having non-standard accents and/or speech patterns? It smacks of a mixture of classism and ableism.

leftwingfox
10 years ago

Beware the pernicious pernis.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

I did see the live action Tick. Best description of it, that I heard at WonderCon (comic book/fantasy art con), “it doesn’t make me want to stab out my eyes with steel skewers.”

The fascination mig-taus have with SATC is quite curious. It’s been a decade since the show went off the air, and the movie from four years ago got a critical and box office drubbing. Yet it gets dragged out as an exemplar of What’s Wrong with the Wimmins by these crankypants.

Just occurred to me – mig-tau sounds like a Lovecraft monster. How apropos.

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Sorry, Leum. You have a point.

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Robert,
Don’t say it out loud. You’ll summon them!

Sarah
Sarah
10 years ago

Uhm, yes, I agree with that too. I thought it was that the guy was forcing the pronunciation because it caused him so much repulsion and hatred and didn’t want to fully say ‘vagina’, but if it’s an accent thing I retract that part of the mockery. Sorry about that, I’m not a native English speaker so I’m not great at catching other people’s accents.

strivingally
10 years ago

“mig” is pretty straightforward – the old name for the Mikoyan Russian aircraft design company – but which Tau? Pi times two? The Warhammer 40K race?

As far as the “MGTOW and then YOU’LL BE SORRY” thing goes, it seems like the same self-glorifying, self-pitying crap you get from diehard Ayn Rand fans when they talk about “going Galt”. We’ll all be sorry when they withdraw their brilliance from the world and we finally understand how truly helpless and mediocre we are without them!

Well, off you trot, guys. G’awn. Aaaaany time now.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Somehow, the doll makes it exceptionally more creepy. Says someone who washed out a moldy coffee press (last time I assume the BF does his dishes!) and then trapped a fly in zir favorite booze glass. This? More icky.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

Strivingally – that reminds me of my favorite fan theory about the Hunger Games fictional world.

The Capitol is what Galt’s Gulch eventually becomes, which makes the Hunger Games trilogy a sequel to Atlas Shrugged. So, from an Objectivist perspective, Coriolanus Snow is a tragic hero, and Katniss Everdeen is the triumphant villain.

brooked
brooked
10 years ago

Um, can we not mock people for having non-standard accents and/or speech patterns? It smacks of a mixture of classism and ableism.

Someone else pointed out that he sounds like a NPR host and he does sound like someone who could actually do it professionally, assuming he could lay of the Red Pill nonsense. It’s not like people are saying he sounds like a yokel. I may be wrong about this though, because I admit I’m only responding to this because I love the “penoose” vs “pernis” discussion. I prefer the latter by the way.

Happy to see the title of this post give a shout out to the Sandman Mystery Theatre comic. Dian Belmont NOW + 4eva!

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Robert,
That’s a great theory! I buy it. Although I’ve only seen the first movie and haven’t read any of the books. Waiting for the second movie to show up on Netflix.

kittehserf
10 years ago

I did! They were such sweeties, just waiting patiently for their turn at bat. I’d stop by sometimes to bring them orange slices and Gatorade. Gosh, I haven’t seen my bullpen boys since I got engaged eleven years ago… oh, crap. I knew I forgot something. Do you think they’re all still at the ballpark? Surely they’ve gone home by now, right?

You just left them there to starve, the poor helpless things! That’s it, I’m reporting you to the SPCD!

*Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dudes

Somehow, the doll makes it exceptionally more creepy.

Of course. Ventriloquists’ dolls are horrible things, all too often. Ever see Dead of Night? The sequence with a very young Michael Redgrave and the doll is fucking terrifying.

brooked
brooked
10 years ago

@kitteh

As a child I saw Dead of the Night, the movie Magic with Anthony Hopkins and plenty of other horror stories with creepy ventriloquist dolls, so they’re pretty much automatically terrifying to me even before they fake speak. Inexplicably people could make a living being a ventriloquist in the 1970s (google Flowers & Madame, and Willie Taylor & Lester, kids) but these unholy devil dolls never fooled me.

pecunium
10 years ago

Pedantry Alert: MiG is short for Mikoyan and Gurevich,Design Bureau which was made from the last names of Artem Mikoyan and Mikhail Gurevich, the designers after whom the bureau was named. It’s now a publicly traded company (RSK MiG, for Российская самолётостроительная корпорация: МиГ/Rossiskaya Samalyotastroitel’naya Korparatsia:* MiG).

Technically the Design Bureau was just Mikoyan, after Gurevich died in 1970, but the MiG designation for the aircraft was kept.

At this point in time the Russian Federation has consolidated all the various military design bureaus (Yakolev, Ilyushin, Sukhoi, MiG), into the present RSK MiG.

*Transliteration is my own, meant to approximate pronunciation. Roman vowels to replicate unstressed Russian vowels will differ from a direct 1:1 substitution,.

jodiethalegend
10 years ago

My giddy aunt… that was like a MRA catchphrase generator stuck on ‘shuffle’. What kind of woman has time to manage all those men? And if ‘every woman’ has each of those positions on her baseball team filled, then there must be a huge number of men who are are playing for several teams. What happens when those teams play each other? It is so confusing. No wonder they end up being forced to have children with some crafty golddigger, anything must be less work than playing on all those baseball teams…

And ‘used-up vergina’? Do they have a limited number of uses before you need to throw them away and get a new one? Did I waste most of mine on my dodgy ex? Is it still counted as a use if you are DIY-ing? Can I get it reconditioned and set the trip-meter back to zero? Does that make it ‘born again’?

Do they honestly not realise how utterly ridiculous they sound?

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
10 years ago

Misandry wins! Without your Gatorade and orange slice, they’ve all starved to death.

That’s it, I’m reporting you to the SPCD!

The tragic thing is that there was no fence around the ball field, and the dugouts weren’t secured either. They could have left at any time…

jared
jared
10 years ago

@leum
The original video’s a real piece of work too, a hilarious one. Like friendly reader said, his NPR-esque voice just adds to the amusement. I don’t think I’d realized before just how elaborate the conspiracy theory of the friend zone can become. Also, added bonus, MGTOW is apparently pronounced “mig-tau.”

Yeah right and NPR. This creep sandman seems like he is some type of mgtow leader who his fellow “mig-tau’s” see him as an mgtow celebrity donating money to him to produce tons of videos. This sandman guy and his vile videos is making a lot of money off his bitterness. He is the Paul Elam of the mgtow wing of the mens hate movement. But his fellow mgtow’s idolize sandman while they sit behind their laptops in their dirty basements not realizing how miserable they really are.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
10 years ago

I don’t know what’s sadder here: that Racnad thinks he’s said anything insightful, or the possibility that he thinks we’ll like him better if he says something we’ll agree with.

contrapangloss
10 years ago

Yeah… One snark about someone you don’t like anyway does not undo pages of whinging about creep-shaming and friendzoning.

On the subject of ‘women love to have intercourse with jerks’: no.

I have a condition where anything going there is painful. No physical cause, just really, really freaking painful. Worse than breaking my ankle, by a mile. It’s something that, to get over, I’ll need therapy. It won’t be fun. Since I’m not interested in dating at the moment, procrastination nation.

No way in heck I’m going through that for an asshole.

For someone nice, loving, and who I can see growing into happy, silly, geezer years with, maybe. It’d be something to talk with them about.

If they want me to go through treatment just so they can get their rocks off, no happy geezerhood for us. If they are interested in a sexual relationship, but not willing to push me, it’d be worth it to me, to please them (and hopefully, find ultimately satisfying, myself).

If they’re ace, and content with being pillow and cuddles, then no need! Forget this for tormenting myself idea! Yay! Win all around.

For an asshole? Nope. Nope-nope-nope. Too much money, too much time, too many tears to put up with, just for a relationship that’ll make me want to beat my brains out on every availible flat surface.

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

@contrapangloss: probably TMI but I had vaginismus for years, which meant remaining a virgin for a number of years longer than my friends really wasn’t a hardship. I couldn’t use tampons until I was in my mid-20s – and cervical smears were just horrible. It finally disappeared, although one funny side of it was given the small size of tampons, which I couldn’t get to fit, I really didn’t see how anything larger was going to. Orgasms aren’t something one considers occurring when all one wants to do is have a happy PIV sexual relationship without pain.

A friend who had two children, and had painful sex was told after her second birth that her pain was due to some positional abnormality of (from memory I think it was) her vagina that could be corrected. She was a bit vague about what exactly the OBGYN said.

I feel for you, have you had the issue checked out medically?

contrapangloss
10 years ago

@ Pallygirl:

I’ve had that exact same thought about tampons.

More TMI, but I did get checked out, a while back. My gen practitioner decided 17 was a good age to start getting pelvic exams, and sent me up to the OB floor.

The PA got the dubious honor of doing the first one. I freaked her out a bit, because here was this patient — who the gen practitioner swore was rock steady, with a high pain tolerance, and not overly self conscious — and then I was crying in no time, flinching involuntarily, trembling, and my blood pressure went through the roof. She ran to get the MD – OB, and she couldn’t see anything wrong, so she sent me to a specialist.

The specialist couldn’t find anything wrong, so he told me it was probably all in my head and I should look into therapy. He then handed me a couple fliers on vulvodynia, vaginismus, and offered a referral to a therapist in a different town.

Holding off, because I don’t have the time, don’t really want to and I don’t have anyone I’m interested in, that way, at the moment.

Really not fun. The bright side was that I didn’t have any trouble convincing the OB that she really didn’t need to do a cervix smear because I wasn’t sexually active!

Only, then she moved.

I spent a good 10 minutes trying to convince the new OB that I wasn’t sexually active and that a pap smear for a non-sexually active 22 year old wasn’t necessary, at my last exam.

I gave up, because I got tired of arguing, and brand new medical school grads have to learn the hard way, sometime.

I think she’ll believe me next year.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

Contrapangloss – good luck with her next year, and thank you for educating a new doctor.