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Misogyny Theater: Sandman in The Friendzone Bullpen

Welcome to the third episode of Misogyny Theater!

Today, we bring to life (sort of) some audio excerpts from a video by Sandman, a prolific videoblogger and self-described Man Going His Own Way. He addresses such topics as the friendzone, Mr. Big from Sex and the City, and the shelf life of the human vergina. Well, that’s how he pronounces it, anyway.

The audio is taken from his video “Friendzone Revenge,” starting about 3:50 in. I edited his remarks for length and to remove repetition.

As someone who watched a bit of Sex and the City back in the day, I feel that I should note that Sandman’s “analysis” of Mr. Big is pretty much total bullshit. I would also like to note that the show would have been ten times better if Patrick Warburton had played Mr. Big. And possibly painted his face once in a while.

The sound clip of birds tweeting came from freeSFX.co.uk.

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Doug
Doug
10 years ago

There are very few shows that could not be improved by Patrick Warburton. My favorite role of his is Brock Samson in the The Venture Bros.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
10 years ago

Yeah, but if Patrick Warburton played Mr. Big, he’d have to stop and shush Carrie every time “Desperado” came on the radio, and then she’d have to break up with him.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Wait, wasn’t Patrick Warburton Kronk in Emperor’s New Groove?

I believe him and Eartha Kitt improve everything. (RIP, Ms. Kitt. You were awesome.)

Howard Bannister
10 years ago

@LBT

Ah, the movie that started my love affair with Patrick Warburton.

He has been in many things that were complete crap, but it can never sully Kronk.

Or the direct to TV sequel, Kronk’s New Groove. That was pretty awesome too.

gorillaella
10 years ago

So many mgtows seem to spend their time obsessing about women. So Go your own way.

Sarah
Sarah
10 years ago

How do the women get to go back to the cock carousel if their verginas were almost used up even before they (forced the formerly-friendzoned-now-husbanded guys to) have children? Do you get to recharge your vergina by having kids?

WatermelonSugar
WatermelonSugar
10 years ago

A few thoughts:

–If vagina=vergina, what does penis equal? Penoose sounds good to me, but I am open to suggestions.

–As someone who is about to get married, I fear I have been doing it wrong. My fiance was never in the friendzone bullpen, so of course I failed to bring him in in the 9th. I also don’t have plans to force him to have children and then divorce him in usually-about-ten-years. We dated for years, talked about getting married and what that looked like to us, agreed it was a good idea and now, in engagment, have frequent check-ins about how things are going and what we expect married life to look like. I should have remembered that healthy relationships are misandry.

As an unrelated side note–
My body has celebrated AVFMICMI14’s Conference to End All Conferences’s Day by starting a doozy of a period. I feel proud about that, for some reason; it feels fitting.

samantha
10 years ago

Has anyone else here seen Mr. Warburton in The Tick? Not the animation, but the sadly short-lived live action.

Yes, everything goes better with Patrick Warburton.

As to our friendzoned MGTOW…Feh.

Howard Bannister
10 years ago

@samantha

Heh heh. The Clark Kent gags. “Whoa! Where did the mild-mannered reporter who was just here go?”

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Every woman he knows has a bullpen of back up guys? He must not know many. I know no women who have that. These guys are assholes so of course their circle of friends and acquaintances are going to be assholes too. Then they universalize their friend’s shitty behavior to everyone else.

Yes, that analysis of SATC is bullshit. Apparently he’s never watched it. Carrie was madly in love with Big through the duration of the show and the movies. He strung her along most of the time and they broke up a lot but she always went back to him given the opportunity. In fact she carried out an affair with him while she was already engaged to a great guy and Big was at the time, married. To describe Big as the backup man for when Carrie got desperate for a provider is ridiculous.

friendly reader
friendly reader
10 years ago

I love the ridiculously even, rational tone of this video, like what he’s saying makes perfect, obvious sense. He sounds like an NPR reporter, only what he’s saying is abundantly ridiculous. Your first two videos made me angry at the guy, this one just makes me laugh.

jared
jared
10 years ago

The video by this dude sandman exemplifies why these mra’s are a joke not to be taken seriously. These guys such as Paul Elm claim that these men are trying to help find solutions for men such as male suicide and depression, and homelessness. But when you see a video by this mgtow sandman guy, those issues are really a mask behind that these guys are sexually frustrated. This is what Amanda Leavitt made reference to how they hide behind these issues to mask their bitterness looking for a scapegoat.

Who the heck is this sandman guy? This guys got like a whole bunch of mgtow videos he gets donations from his fellow mgtow men to produce them. Their whole deal I think is creating separate countries for men and women because they’ve supposedly sworn of women but yet make dozens of you tube videos about women. Major hypocrites these dudes are. This eerie sandman spends all his time making all these video’s like it is his full time job. Sounds to me I think some creep has to much time on his hands.

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Every woman he knows = no women at all.

This idea that vaginae get used up is so ridiculous, Where do they get this goofy fucking myth?

They’re just angry that none of the women they clearly hate want to let them anywhere near their vaginae. They resent any woman enjoying her sexuality. So they have to invent some make believe punishment for her having sex.

What’s with every woman being straight in these tall tales about? I guess all the imaginary women they dream up are straight because they’d really be bitter if two women were enjoying their sexuality together.

How can they even buy into this “women only marry men they don’t like fucking and the men women do like fucking are all assholes” thing? Most women who are into sex with men marry men they like fucking. They don’t have kids by lying back and thinking of the riches child support will bring (which is good, because child support does not make you rich. It just assists in caring for children who do not stop existing should the marriage end.) Also, if women were attracted to jerks, there mgtow would be dodging thrown panties at every turn.

Also, all kids are conceived in wedlock? All families have kids that are the biological offspring of a woman and a straight dude she secretly hates? Who knew?

Sex is not like baseball. Sex is not a competitive sport and if it were, this analogy fails spectacularly because the men in his analogy are all on the same team and the woman is what? Is she supposed to be the team manager or the coach? It made no sense at all.

I’m also subtracting points from this wrong headed rant because the mgtow said “vergina” instead of “nappy dugout” and that’s just a waste of misogyny and baseball references.

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

jared,
Right? I hate cilantro. I avoid cilantro whenever I can. I do not feel the need to obsessively make videos about cilantro.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
10 years ago

Every woman he knows has a bullpen of back up guys? He must not know many. I know no women who have that.

I did! They were such sweeties, just waiting patiently for their turn at bat. I’d stop by sometimes to bring them orange slices and Gatorade. Gosh, I haven’t seen my bullpen boys since I got engaged eleven years ago… oh, crap. I knew I forgot something. Do you think they’re all still at the ballpark? Surely they’ve gone home by now, right?

bunnybunny
bunnybunny
10 years ago

I hate cilantro. I avoid cilantro whenever I can. I do not feel the need to obsessively make videos about cilantro.

I hate cilantro too. It tastes the way that stinkbugs smell. I’ll stop short of making a video about it, though.

Falconer
Falconer
10 years ago

@Samantha:

Has anyone else here seen Mr. Warburton in The Tick? Not the animation, but the sadly short-lived live action.

Yes, everything goes better with Patrick Warburton.

It’s a secret message! From my teeth!

Leum
Leum
10 years ago

The original video’s a real piece of work too, a hilarious one. Like friendly reader said, his NPR-esque voice just adds to the amusement. I don’t think I’d realized before just how elaborate the conspiracy theory of the friend zone can become. Also, added bonus, MGTOW is apparently pronounced “mig-tau.”

GrumpyOldNurse
GrumpyOldNurse
10 years ago

I wish they would go their own way, already.

@WatermelonSugar

Don’t worry. Mr Grump and I have obviously been doing it wrong for 20 years now, but we both seem pretty happy.

@Flying Mouse

Misandry wins! Without your Gatorade and orange slice, they’ve all starved to death. Mwhahahahahahahaha!

Kevin Kehres
10 years ago

Wait…did he say “get her back on the caulk carousel”?

What does caulk have to do with it? Who doesn’t need a little caulk to seal cracks? Every man and every woman needs caulk in the bathroom and in the kitchen, around door and window frames. Caulk is a good thing.

… oh wait …

Fnoicby
Fnoicby
10 years ago

Um whaaaa?
Is MGTOWing supposed to be inflicting some kind of punishment on women or something? I get the feeling they think women care that they’re going their own way. Lol.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
10 years ago

Mr Big as a beta provider? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

bunnybunny
bunnybunny
10 years ago

Is MGTOWing supposed to be inflicting some kind of punishment on women or something? I get the feeling they think women care that they’re going their own way.

Totally. I have seen so many comments proclaiming, “They’ll be sorry when men stop dealing with this bullshit and society crumbles!” I’m assuming “they” = women, because, you know, who else.

Racnad
Racnad
10 years ago

Going their own way? I don’t care for country music, but I don’t record and post ranty videos about how bad it is.

Fnoicby
Fnoicby
10 years ago

bunnybunny, as many have said before me…I wish they would just GO THEIR OWN WAY ALREADY!!!

“Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat wooooorms!”

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