Sometimes I hunt the misogyny, sometimes it wanders up right up to me and says hello.
Today’s post is an example of the latter. Below, a slightly edited comment that someone left for me this morning. It’s a response to a post of mine about a dreadful post on Return of Kings in which a fellow calling himself Billy Chubbs argued, with absolutely no evidence, that a recent high school shooter was driven to murder because of his βprobable sexual frustration,β Chubbs went on to argue that young women are βselfishβ because they don’t have sex with guys they’re not attracted to.
Anyway, my new commenter β posting under the name βwhogoesthere?β β thinks that I and the other commenters here were being too hard on Chubbs’ βvery good argument.β And so he deposited this giant rant, which in many ways is even scarier than Chubbs’ original.
He’s a tad verbose, so I’ve trimmed out some stuff that isn’t relevant to his general, er, thesis. And I’ve also taken the liberty of adding a few paragraph breaks and bolding a few of the best (i.e. worst) bits.
When men donβt get the women they want they turn to violence.
Not a good start here, because this just isn’t true. In this case, the phrase βnot all menβ is, for once, appropriate. Most men don’t get violent when they’re turned down.
This is established all over the animal kingdom and offers a good example about how it applies to humans, that snotty girls who keep their sexual treasures to all but a few males cause the remaining males to snap. β¦
Animals do all sorts of things that humans don’t do, and we can’t always learn from their behavior or assume that it relates to our own lives.
Or maybe the Evo Psych crew is just looking at the wrong animals. When banana slugs can’t find a partner to have sex with, they simply fertilize themselves. There’s a lesson here, I think, for the angry incels of the world: you can’t always get what you want, and when you can’t, sex with yourself is better than murder.
High school is a massively sexually charged winner take all environment. β¦ Todayβs high school is basically an ongoing audition for a porno video and the guys and girls who donβt make the cut can only sit at home and masturbate.
wat
Itβs demeaning and hits a major blow to a personβs sexual identity to not be invited to frolic with the beautiful people.
Somehow most people, regardless of gender, manage to survive even if they’re not frolicking with Charlize Theron and/or Channing Tatum.
Iβm sorry but almost no men go on wild shooting rampages if they have a beautiful female in their keep.
In their keep?! Also, no. Charles Manson was surrounded by beautiful young women. Yet he orchestrated multiple grisly murders.
The only guys that do so are bank robbers and thieves, generally guys at a later stage of life more fixated on money.
wat
Human beings naturally assess the amount of sex going around them and judge themselves in relationship to the amount and type of sex others are getting.
You know, you can’t actually tell how much and what kind of sex someone is having just by looking at them. Yes, there will always be people in the world having more sex with you. And some of these people are having sex with people you would probably like to have sex with. There are also people who are smarter than you, funnier than you, who can play chess or kickbox better than you, who have hundreds or thousands of times more money than you do.
That’s life. Life isn’t fair.
This makes sense because from a reproductive standpoint sex is coveted, and sex with beautiful thin, young women are the most coveted. Being the first to spoil these young women sexually is viewed reproductively as a guarantee of parentage, thus this is why males instinctively covet and burn with passion for these females.
Ah, yes, it was only a matter of time until the creepy pedo-justifying Evo Psych assfacts made their appearance. Not all men βburn with passionβ in their pants for virginal high school girls.
This is why we have βmoralityβ which is in its essence is a promise not to flaunt or indulge in sex moreso than the lowest man or woman in your tribe. This is what is meant when people say βmorality went out the window.β They mean someone with more sexual prowess is openly indulging in sex and broadcasting it to stimulate the jealousy of the underclasses.
I’m pretty sure that’s not what people mean when they say βmorality went out the window.β
This teen killed people cause he thought that beautiful girls were out of reach. The high school environment merely rubbed it in his face. Yes drugs to treat ADD mightβve eroded many of the impulse control functions in the teen, but the rage against the high school was still the gasoline.
[citation needed]
He mightβve had a picture or two taken with a girl next to him, but oftentimes those high school girls lie and simply eat up the maleβs offerings without granting sexual access, but grant it to a random stud.
How dare young women choose who to have sex with, and who not to!
Iβm not saying the girl he killed deserved it, itβs only that when you are in that frame of mind you cannot tell who is having more sex than others and you simply fill in the gaps with rage.
Wait, so if she had turned him down he would have been justified in killing her?
The beautiful girl simply represented everything that the teen couldnβt get. The steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.
Yeah, I think you’re confusing high school with porn again. His rampage lasted roughly a minute and a half. He shot her because she was there.
All the other theories posted on this site seem comical, self-righteous and weirdly off-point. Itβs like youβre assessing the situation as an asexual senior citizen or righteous prude.
Not a lot of βprudesβ here. Just people who find the βwomen need to have sex with ‘nice guys’ or these ‘nice gys’ will kill you allβ to be a somewhat problematic argument.
Generally men want sex with young thin beauties who validate their existence.
Some men do. But most men, among those who are sexually attracted to women, aren’t as neurotically fixated on this small slice of the female demographic β women in their teens and early twenties who are somehow both virginal and sexually βwildβ β as manosphere men seem to be. And most people don’t base their entireΒ self-worth on whether or not they’re having sex with beautiful people.
Some men prefer women older than them. Some like women who are fat. Plenty of men don’t fixate on a particular physical type and are attracted to all sorts of different women. Believe it or not, whogoesthere, there are lots of men who are more interested in what’s in a woman’s head than they are in whether or not she matches up with some particular checklist of physical attributes.
If society removes all of the social pathways to attaining such a beauty, such as making prostitution illegal, increasing shame for men who seek sex, rewarding females and males called manginas who identify and mock the sex seekers and so on⦠this will lead to depression in men and all of the behaviors surrounding it, including shootings. Sounds pretty much like a logical line of reasoning to me.
And that’s the problem. It’s not actually a logical line of reasoning at all. It’s more like a sort of blackmail.
Men don’t kill women because they can’t have βthe steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.β Sometimes men kill women because they feel entitled to have sex with these βvaluable young girlsβ and become bitter and enraged when they can’t find a βvaluable young girlβ who agrees with them on this particular point.
It’s not the lack of βsexual accessβ that’s the problem. It’s the notion that your desire for βsexual accessβ means more than the right of that person to say βno.β It’s the notion that society has done you wrong because you can’t (at least at the moment) get laid. It’s the idea that your desire to have sex with a particular kind of woman somehow trumps the right of other people to live.
I mean, what the fucking fuck.
Oh, by the way, there’s no evidence that the shooter in question β Karl Halverson Pierson β was motivated by sexual frustration. His intended target was the school librarian, who is also the school’s debate coach. Pierson was obsessed with debate, and had some sort of grudge against the coach.
Ok! *wanders off to another thread with pecunium*
*returns*
Contrapangloss — D’AWW, cute older couples are adorbs!
LBT — definitely a feature not a bug.
Yup! Hehehehe β¦ would it help if I said that originally one of my friends gave Civ IV to me as a present (as I was feeling stressed)?
Although I should probably get some new games at some point.
Anyone got any good “neverwinter nights/RP adventure”-type game suggestions that will play on a mac? I want to go adventuring!!! π
Also, I’m not part of the gaming bit of geek culture, but I am part of the sci fi and horror loving part, and I’d really rather we not sweep the toxic misogyny in geek culture under the rug. There’s a reason I avoid Kotaku like it’s full of rabid zombies.
(It’s because if you have a vagina it may as well be. And then there’s the racism.)
As a huge gamer, I completely agree with WWTH. The gaming community as a whole is fucked to hell, and the industry is just barely better. There are some great people in the community and there are some great people making great games, but both can be toxic to anyone who isn’t a white, straight, cis, middle-class male, the community especially. The sooner we acknowledge this, the sooner FatUglyOrSlutty.com will become irrelevant and the sooner we will get loads of cool new games to play.
Speaking of computer games, here’s a Kickstarter one (still active) that combines gaming with being a cat: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/chrixeleon/catlateral-damage
Yes I have backed it. It’s hit its funding target already and so stretch goal time. I notice that a lot of these little indie games, where gender is pretty much irrelevant (e.g. tower defence games), get funded. So nice to see that developers who are offering something out of the ordinary have a funding platform to assist them. I think this is the type of thing that will break the gaming industry out of its misogyny: indie developers offering quality games that are targeted at different types of subpopulations.
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve had to explain to people on westeros.org that Cersei’s villainy does not mean Robert gets a free pass for having raped her multiple times throughout their marriage. Especially since the people who excuse Robert’s behavior are the same ones who tend to slut shame Daenerys.
Despite my love of horror movies I’ve never gotten into internet fandoms or gone to cons. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were lots of misogynists in that community. Although I have a meat space friend who’s a big horror fan and also a feminist. A real male feminist. Not an Undies style faux feminist. Undies might be saddened to learn that he’s not tall and views women as three dimensional human beings and yet he managed to marry a woman who’s both conventionally attractive and intelligent.
Speaking of GOT, during my one and only attempt to interact with that fandom someone randomly recommended to me a fanfic in which according to him there was a love story subplot for Arya. Isn’t she about 9 or 10?
I don’t interact with fandoms, I just read or watch the originating material.
Book Arya is about 10 now. Show Arya is probably supposed to be older since the actress is 16 or 17. Yeah, it’s a little creepy when people ship her with Gendry or Jon Snow who are teenagers in the books and in their twenties on the show.
The SanSan (Sansa and Sandor) shipping is even creepier.
Although some shippers do imagine it happening when the girls are of age.
@Argenti Aertheri, I’m not quite sure what you meant, but if you did happen to be asking about which decision, it was the Supreme Court finding in favor of Hobby Lobby. Company’s can now claim a legal exception to the section of the Affordable Care Act’s that requires company’s to cover contraception in their insurance plans, saying that it impedes the free exercise of religion.
And to everyone. Thank you for putting up with me. I’m sure many of you got some satisfaction out of beating me down in whatever this banal expression of my narcissism is, but thanks anyway. I’d thank specific people, but I don’t want to leave anybody out.
I know that I am not a good person. I know that I don’t see the world clearly. It’s just hard not to see things in such a way when there’s just so many negative emotions roiling around in me. I really wish I could see things like some of ya’ll. I know I’d be happier, but I suppose I’m just supremely negative, shallow, and seem to be lacking a common level of empathy.
I didn’t used to be this way. Maybe this thing with my ex has got me really messed up. Maybe I should think about it more.
I broke up with her because I knew I could get with someone more attractive. That didn’t work out, and then my ex almost took me back. We started hooking up again and hanging out but kept our distance. Then she got with my friend. Her friend too. They really are great for each other. Better than I was for her, much more in common. Much more similar attitude and approach to life. I took her for granted in the most extreme of ways. Something in me can’t handle it, and I don’t know why. I don’t know why I tell everyone that she left me for my best friend.
But enough about all that. Really. Thanks again. I’m sure plenty of you don’t care one iota, and I don’t blame you for it. I’m really arrogant. It can take a lot of time for ideas to sink in, but some of what ya’ll said is really starting to make sense. This was healthy for me.
Someone said something like “cus you can’t just be single for five minutes.” I think I will try that for a while. At least until I meet someone who I find attractive, shares my interest, and when I am in a place where I’m not so distracted by negative emotions to treat another person well, when I’m not in a place where I have to retreat from the world to feel all right.
I think I came here because I knew it was a site that mocked misogyny. I knew I would be confronted. Ya’ll have a great community here. I won’t darken your interwebs any further.
Good night folks. π
Sandor as in the big scary guy with the scars on his face who’s more than old enough to be her dad? Yikes.
Sorry, but this is just nonsense. Some of my most fondly-remembered partners are those who had next to no impact on me when I first met them (i.e. no “initial reaction”). And there are plenty of people I subsequently became attracted to after finding out more about what they were like as people.
In fact, doubt I’d have given my wife a second glance if I hadn’t already known that she was my type thanks to email and phone conversations prior to meeting up, and she later confessed to a very similar reaction. Thirteen years on, things are very different – there’s no-one else I know or have ever known who turns me on as frequently and consistently as she does, but that’s at least partly because I know her so well.
True, I’m obviously much less smitten by surface details than you are – for me, wit and intelligence trump absolutely everything – but this notion that there has to be an immediate spark is not merely wrongheaded but demonstrably destructive.
Or Arya hooking up with the guy who she clearly just sees as her big brother? This is why we can’t have nice things, sff fandom.
@ Wetherby
Also, not that it matters in the case of the saddest and most disingenuous troll in the world, but people can actively choose to cultivate a more overly sexualised persona, if they want. Which would certainly beat sitting around whining about the lack thereof.
Well, if that wasn’t the most Mr Al-ish farewell (as distinct from meltdown or flouncefail) …
So long and thanks for all the piss-takes?
I guess I missed the part about this being a free therapy blog. Although if undies is being sincere and we made an impact, I guess that’s nice.
Spoilers – he’s not.
Today in “what about the menz” from a bestest male feminist.
http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2014/06/why-it-is-a-bad-thing-that-orange-is-the-new-black-leaves-men-out/373682/
What do you mean this show isn’t about me? Bitches.
You’re probably right. We’ll see if he sticks to the flouncelet.
Happy Canada Day, creeps!
(I am using “creeps” as a term of endearment for participants in the “Creepy comment” thread.)
Make it crepes, then we can have noms with maple syrup!
Can the Canada Day crepes have little maple leafs on them?
They can be shaped like maple leaves. π