Sometimes I hunt the misogyny, sometimes it wanders up right up to me and says hello.
Today’s post is an example of the latter. Below, a slightly edited comment that someone left for me this morning. It’s a response to a post of mine about a dreadful post on Return of Kings in which a fellow calling himself Billy Chubbs argued, with absolutely no evidence, that a recent high school shooter was driven to murder because of his “probable sexual frustration,” Chubbs went on to argue that young women are “selfish” because they don’t have sex with guys they’re not attracted to.
Anyway, my new commenter – posting under the name “whogoesthere?” – thinks that I and the other commenters here were being too hard on Chubbs’ “very good argument.” And so he deposited this giant rant, which in many ways is even scarier than Chubbs’ original.
He’s a tad verbose, so I’ve trimmed out some stuff that isn’t relevant to his general, er, thesis. And I’ve also taken the liberty of adding a few paragraph breaks and bolding a few of the best (i.e. worst) bits.
When men don’t get the women they want they turn to violence.
Not a good start here, because this just isn’t true. In this case, the phrase “not all men” is, for once, appropriate. Most men don’t get violent when they’re turned down.
This is established all over the animal kingdom and offers a good example about how it applies to humans, that snotty girls who keep their sexual treasures to all but a few males cause the remaining males to snap. …
Animals do all sorts of things that humans don’t do, and we can’t always learn from their behavior or assume that it relates to our own lives.
Or maybe the Evo Psych crew is just looking at the wrong animals. When banana slugs can’t find a partner to have sex with, they simply fertilize themselves. There’s a lesson here, I think, for the angry incels of the world: you can’t always get what you want, and when you can’t, sex with yourself is better than murder.
High school is a massively sexually charged winner take all environment. … Today’s high school is basically an ongoing audition for a porno video and the guys and girls who don’t make the cut can only sit at home and masturbate.
wat
It’s demeaning and hits a major blow to a person’s sexual identity to not be invited to frolic with the beautiful people.
Somehow most people, regardless of gender, manage to survive even if they’re not frolicking with Charlize Theron and/or Channing Tatum.
I’m sorry but almost no men go on wild shooting rampages if they have a beautiful female in their keep.
In their keep?! Also, no. Charles Manson was surrounded by beautiful young women. Yet he orchestrated multiple grisly murders.
The only guys that do so are bank robbers and thieves, generally guys at a later stage of life more fixated on money.
wat
Human beings naturally assess the amount of sex going around them and judge themselves in relationship to the amount and type of sex others are getting.
You know, you can’t actually tell how much and what kind of sex someone is having just by looking at them. Yes, there will always be people in the world having more sex with you. And some of these people are having sex with people you would probably like to have sex with. There are also people who are smarter than you, funnier than you, who can play chess or kickbox better than you, who have hundreds or thousands of times more money than you do.
That’s life. Life isn’t fair.
This makes sense because from a reproductive standpoint sex is coveted, and sex with beautiful thin, young women are the most coveted. Being the first to spoil these young women sexually is viewed reproductively as a guarantee of parentage, thus this is why males instinctively covet and burn with passion for these females.
Ah, yes, it was only a matter of time until the creepy pedo-justifying Evo Psych assfacts made their appearance. Not all men “burn with passion” in their pants for virginal high school girls.
This is why we have “morality” which is in its essence is a promise not to flaunt or indulge in sex moreso than the lowest man or woman in your tribe. This is what is meant when people say “morality went out the window.” They mean someone with more sexual prowess is openly indulging in sex and broadcasting it to stimulate the jealousy of the underclasses.
I’m pretty sure that’s not what people mean when they say “morality went out the window.”
This teen killed people cause he thought that beautiful girls were out of reach. The high school environment merely rubbed it in his face. Yes drugs to treat ADD might’ve eroded many of the impulse control functions in the teen, but the rage against the high school was still the gasoline.
[citation needed]
He might’ve had a picture or two taken with a girl next to him, but oftentimes those high school girls lie and simply eat up the male’s offerings without granting sexual access, but grant it to a random stud.
How dare young women choose who to have sex with, and who not to!
I’m not saying the girl he killed deserved it, it’s only that when you are in that frame of mind you cannot tell who is having more sex than others and you simply fill in the gaps with rage.
Wait, so if she had turned him down he would have been justified in killing her?
The beautiful girl simply represented everything that the teen couldn’t get. The steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.
Yeah, I think you’re confusing high school with porn again. His rampage lasted roughly a minute and a half. He shot her because she was there.
All the other theories posted on this site seem comical, self-righteous and weirdly off-point. It’s like you’re assessing the situation as an asexual senior citizen or righteous prude.
Not a lot of “prudes” here. Just people who find the “women need to have sex with ‘nice guys’ or these ‘nice gys’ will kill you all” to be a somewhat problematic argument.
Generally men want sex with young thin beauties who validate their existence.
Some men do. But most men, among those who are sexually attracted to women, aren’t as neurotically fixated on this small slice of the female demographic – women in their teens and early twenties who are somehow both virginal and sexually “wild” – as manosphere men seem to be. And most people don’t base their entire self-worth on whether or not they’re having sex with beautiful people.
Some men prefer women older than them. Some like women who are fat. Plenty of men don’t fixate on a particular physical type and are attracted to all sorts of different women. Believe it or not, whogoesthere, there are lots of men who are more interested in what’s in a woman’s head than they are in whether or not she matches up with some particular checklist of physical attributes.
If society removes all of the social pathways to attaining such a beauty, such as making prostitution illegal, increasing shame for men who seek sex, rewarding females and males called manginas who identify and mock the sex seekers and so on… this will lead to depression in men and all of the behaviors surrounding it, including shootings. Sounds pretty much like a logical line of reasoning to me.
And that’s the problem. It’s not actually a logical line of reasoning at all. It’s more like a sort of blackmail.
Men don’t kill women because they can’t have “the steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.” Sometimes men kill women because they feel entitled to have sex with these “valuable young girls” and become bitter and enraged when they can’t find a “valuable young girl” who agrees with them on this particular point.
It’s not the lack of “sexual access” that’s the problem. It’s the notion that your desire for “sexual access” means more than the right of that person to say “no.” It’s the notion that society has done you wrong because you can’t (at least at the moment) get laid. It’s the idea that your desire to have sex with a particular kind of woman somehow trumps the right of other people to live.
I mean, what the fucking fuck.
Oh, by the way, there’s no evidence that the shooter in question – Karl Halverson Pierson – was motivated by sexual frustration. His intended target was the school librarian, who is also the school’s debate coach. Pierson was obsessed with debate, and had some sort of grudge against the coach.
The point is not the specific kind of activity that causes marking. The point is that “things which leave marks” and “a complicated life because of hiding and/or explaining marks” do not automatically go together.
I am not going to get drawn into a dick-waving competition about who’s had kinkier sex.
Good people, grown-up people, talk to each other about the sex they want to have. We discuss points like whether we are happy to receive marks, or to create them, and where, and by what means, and whether we want patterns or words or random scratches. It’s called negotiating. It’s important.
It also gets you more, better, and more repeatable sex, but that’s a secondary consideration.
Happy Birthday kittehserf!!!
Happy Birthday Kittehs!
Many many warm and happy thoughts to you and baskets of kitties for you to pet & cuddle.
No, I mean ACTUALLY doing something interesting, not reading sad BS blogs about “maintaining frame” written by guys who know even less about human nature than you do. I think someone else suggested learning how to play the guitar. Play tennis. Join a book club.
What’s undfreeland even trying to argue anymore, other than “Look at me!!!”
He was never trying to argue more than that. He’s a sock looking for attention.
Factoid:
There was a short lived condom produced in the mid to late 80’s with an adhesive strip down the inside called Mentors.
First attempt, adhesive strip didn’t stick and would bunch up from the friction, sometimes causing the condom to wrinkle up & slide off.
Second attempt, adhesive strip worked too well and would peel skin off the penis upon removal.
There was no third attempt.
Things you learn when your mom’s first career was as the director of public health at a large university. She was affectionately known as “the condom lady” for many years.
That and stretching a condom over your arm past the elbow usually shuts down the “it’s too small to fit over my enormous penis” argument real fast.
I used to hate it when that happened. I’d be talking to a guy, everything’s going swimmingly, and then – boom! – his loose frame drops a picture on the floor. Broken glass, splintered wood, ruined photo, it really spoils the mood.
I guess that’s what happens when you have a thing for photographers and art restorers, though. Loose frames are everywhere.
Where is this stuff about more attractive people being harder to get into bed coming from? Is that really a thing? In my world it’s compatibility of interests, links and personality that are hard to find. I don’t see more attractive men consistently with more attractive women.
“That and stretching a condom over your arm past the elbow usually shuts down the “it’s too small to fit over my enormous penis” argument real fast.”
I find this hilarious. 🙂
Adding to places with liberal folks, even here in Texas there are places like Dallas & Austin which are more liberal and left leaning than conservative. /pines for the Ann Richards days
But duckbunny, he doesn’t care about compatibility of interests, links or personality. After all, everyone (except him, apparently) is interchangeable
Note: I usually don’t make fun of typos, since I make enough of them myself. But I’ll make an exception for und. Always for und.
That delights me, though I can’t quite articulate why. I think I just like the idea of famous writers being real-life pals.
There’s something wrong with me, because right now that sounds like the most fun thing to do in the world. I want to go out and buy a box of Trojans just so I can see exactly how far they’ll go without breaking.
I’m not even sure why he wants to find an attractive woman or string of women. He doesn’t want a relationship, doesn’t want to know others/allow them to know him, doesn’t even enjoy sex (which now brings up why he’d want a real doll if he could afford one). He doesn’t actually seem to like other people in general. Basically, I don’t understand why he’d bother if these are his feelings/beliefs.
Long fingernails can be an issue and you have to apply the condom as you would to a penis, roll it down slowly & leave space at the tip or it will indeed tear.
And as icky as it might be, they do have to be lubricated.
My mom just got surprisingly good at it because it came up at almost every demonstration on safe sex.
This was at the height of the HIV epidemic so she was leading or providing training for safe sex demonstrations and discussion groups multiple times a week, just on her own time after work.
I ate a lot of bananas during that time period 🙂
I tried to explain this several pages ago, but to no avail.
One of my best friends was a stunning beauty in her teens and twenties and still looks great in her forties, and yet her husband is balding, paunchy and works as an actuary (which he described to me as “like an accountant, but even more boring”). But they’ll be celebrating their twentieth wedding anniversary next year, and are as happy as I’ve ever known them – because they bonded on a far deeper level than a superficial appearance-based one.
I daresay we all know countless similar examples.
And I learned that dental dams came in much more interesting and varied flavors than condoms.
True, Wetherby. When I was in high school, I ended up working for the wife of my computer science teacher. Both were in their sixties, but I considered them one of the cutest couples I knew, as they both clearly loved each other and enjoyed each other’s company. The preacher who married my husband and me has a remarkably similar relationship with his wife (they are both now in their sixties).
Happy birthday, kittehs!
My random fact: Egyptian Mau cats have a skin flap on each side of their bodies, running from the knee of the hind leg to the middle of the body. This helps them accelerate and turn better. They are the only breed of domestic cat with this feature. They’re also the only naturally spotted domestic cat breed. (they’re also very talkative and highly opinionated…)
http://youtu.be/60zcX3GijYQ
Maus are also rare as hens teeth in the states, but for awhile we thought someone was backyard breeding them in our neighborhood – so many high percentage Maus running around, all bronze like our Kamikaze… Very strange.
Kamikaze is a fine name for a cat.
Happy birthday, kitties.
Random fact: Neil Gaiman enjoys being the unassuming spouse at events featuring Amanda Palmer. I’m sure that’s misandry somehow. 🙂
@Wetherby
Frank Zappa went to my high school 🙂
I think this pretty much defines almost every past or future interactions any of us are going to have with him.
Omnicrom ,
We haven’t gotten very far. We just made it past the view from the stomach scene.
Wetherby: We found her when she was barely six weeks old, teeny and adorable and the most imperious little brat! When she was walking, she discovered that humans are both tall and climbable. She took this knowledge and began diving from shoulders at the other cats. I call her Kami-chan, which translates loosely from Japanese as ‘little goddess.’
I’ve fallen in love with Mr FM and I’m a lesbian. It’s that impossible to resist a man with such high SMV.