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Creepy comment of the day: If men can't get "the steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl," naturally they'll start shooting people.

Banana slug: A better role model for horny humans than bonobos?
Banana slug: A better role model for horny humans than bonobos?

Sometimes I hunt the misogyny, sometimes it wanders up right up to me and says hello.

Today’s post is an example of the latter. Below, a slightly edited comment that someone left for me this morning. It’s a response to a post of mine about a dreadful post on Return of Kings in which a fellow calling himself Billy Chubbs argued, with absolutely no evidence, that a recent high school shooter was driven to murder because of his “probable sexual frustration,” Chubbs went on to argue that young women are “selfish” because they don’t have sex with guys they’re not attracted to.

Anyway, my new commenter – posting under the name “whogoesthere?” – thinks that I and the other commenters here were being too hard on Chubbs’ “very good argument.” And so he deposited this giant rant, which in many ways is even scarier than Chubbs’ original.

He’s a tad verbose, so I’ve trimmed out some stuff that isn’t relevant to his general, er, thesis. And I’ve also taken the liberty of adding a few paragraph breaks and bolding a few of the best (i.e. worst) bits.

When men don’t get the women they want they turn to violence.

Not a good start here, because this just isn’t true. In this case, the phrase “not all men” is, for once, appropriate. Most men don’t get violent when they’re turned down.

This is established all over the animal kingdom and offers a good example about how it applies to humans, that snotty girls who keep their sexual treasures to all but a few males cause the remaining males to snap. …

Animals do all sorts of things that humans don’t do, and we can’t always learn from their behavior or assume that it relates to our own lives.

Or maybe the Evo Psych crew is just looking at the wrong animals. When banana slugs can’t find a partner to have sex with, they simply fertilize themselves. There’s a lesson here, I think, for the angry incels of the world: you can’t always get what you want, and when you can’t, sex with yourself is better than murder.

High school is a massively sexually charged winner take all environment. … Today’s high school is basically an ongoing audition for a porno video and the guys and girls who don’t make the cut can only sit at home and masturbate.

wat

It’s demeaning and hits a major blow to a person’s sexual identity to not be invited to frolic with the beautiful people.

Somehow most people, regardless of gender, manage to survive even if they’re not frolicking with Charlize Theron and/or Channing Tatum.

I’m sorry but almost no men go on wild shooting rampages if they have a beautiful female in their keep.

In their keep?! Also, no. Charles Manson was surrounded by beautiful young women. Yet he orchestrated multiple grisly murders.

The only guys that do so are bank robbers and thieves, generally guys at a later stage of life more fixated on money.

wat

Human beings naturally assess the amount of sex going around them and judge themselves in relationship to the amount and type of sex others are getting.

You know, you can’t actually tell how much and what kind of sex someone is having just by looking at them. Yes, there will always be people in the world having more sex with you. And some of these people are having sex with people you would probably like to have sex with. There are also people who are smarter than you, funnier than you, who can play chess or kickbox better than you, who have hundreds or thousands of times more money than you do.

That’s life. Life isn’t fair.

This makes sense because from a reproductive standpoint sex is coveted, and sex with beautiful thin, young women are the most coveted. Being the first to spoil these young women sexually is viewed reproductively as a guarantee of parentage, thus this is why males instinctively covet and burn with passion for these females.

Ah, yes, it was only a matter of time until the creepy pedo-justifying Evo Psych assfacts made their appearance. Not all men “burn with passion” in their pants for virginal high school girls.

This is why we have “morality” which is in its essence is a promise not to flaunt or indulge in sex moreso than the lowest man or woman in your tribe. This is what is meant when people say “morality went out the window.” They mean someone with more sexual prowess is openly indulging in sex and broadcasting it to stimulate the jealousy of the underclasses.

I’m pretty sure that’s not what people mean when they say “morality went out the window.”

This teen killed people cause he thought that beautiful girls were out of reach. The high school environment merely rubbed it in his face. Yes drugs to treat ADD might’ve eroded many of the impulse control functions in the teen, but the rage against the high school was still the gasoline.

[citation needed]

He might’ve had a picture or two taken with a girl next to him, but oftentimes those high school girls lie and simply eat up the male’s offerings without granting sexual access, but grant it to a random stud.

How dare young women choose who to have sex with, and who not to!

I’m not saying the girl he killed deserved it, it’s only that when you are in that frame of mind you cannot tell who is having more sex than others and you simply fill in the gaps with rage.

Wait, so if she had turned him down he would have been justified in killing her?

The beautiful girl simply represented everything that the teen couldn’t get. The steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.

Yeah, I think you’re confusing high school with porn again. His rampage lasted roughly a minute and a half. He shot her because she was there.

All the other theories posted on this site seem comical, self-righteous and weirdly off-point. It’s like you’re assessing the situation as an asexual senior citizen or righteous prude.

Not a lot of “prudes” here. Just people who find the “women need to have sex with ‘nice guys’ or these ‘nice gys’ will kill you all” to be a somewhat problematic argument.

Generally men want sex with young thin beauties who validate their existence.

Some men do. But most men, among those who are sexually attracted to women, aren’t as neurotically fixated on this small slice of the female demographic – women in their teens and early twenties who are somehow both virginal and sexually “wild” – as manosphere men seem to be. And most people don’t base their entire  self-worth on whether or not they’re having sex with beautiful people.

Some men prefer women older than them. Some like women who are fat. Plenty of men don’t fixate on a particular physical type and are attracted to all sorts of different women. Believe it or not, whogoesthere, there are lots of men who are more interested in what’s in a woman’s head than they are in whether or not she matches up with some particular checklist of physical attributes.

If society removes all of the social pathways to attaining such a beauty, such as making prostitution illegal, increasing shame for men who seek sex, rewarding females and males called manginas who identify and mock the sex seekers and so on… this will lead to depression in men and all of the behaviors surrounding it, including shootings. Sounds pretty much like a logical line of reasoning to me.

And that’s the problem. It’s not actually a logical line of reasoning at all. It’s more like a sort of blackmail.

Men don’t kill women because they can’t have “the steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.” Sometimes men kill women because they feel entitled to have sex with these “valuable young girls” and become bitter and enraged when they can’t find a “valuable young girl” who agrees with them on this particular point.

It’s not the lack of “sexual access” that’s the problem. It’s the notion that your desire for “sexual access” means more than the right of that person to say “no.” It’s the notion that society has done you wrong because you can’t (at least at the moment) get laid. It’s the idea that your desire to have sex with a particular kind of woman somehow trumps the right of other people to live.

I mean, what the fucking fuck.

Oh, by the way, there’s no evidence that the shooter in question – Karl Halverson Pierson – was motivated by sexual frustration. His intended target was the school librarian, who is also the school’s debate coach. Pierson was obsessed with debate, and had some sort of grudge against the coach.

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Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

You know…I can’t think of any female serial killers who killed solely strangers. Unless boarders count, killer landladies have certainly existed. But they seem to be discussing total strangers and I got nothing there.

tesformes
10 years ago

Yeah, my mother has lupus, and she is very careful about how she eats because the wrong food can trigger inflammation in her. Still, her illness is not caused by a “leaky gut,” her stomach is one of the only systems in her body that hasn’t been affected by her lupus. I wish that she could be cured by simply changing her diet, but that’s simply not reasonable.

Robert
Robert
10 years ago

When my husband and I were dating, he was the first guy I had been in quite some time who was taller than me. I had been going for the short, slender femmy guys, and suddenly here I was with this big, butch bisexual dude. At one point, we were discussing our respective tastes in men, and I admitted that, wonderful as he was, if he had looked like George Clooney, I probably wouldn’t have even noticed he was there. But then, I added, if I had looked like Tupac Shakur, how much of a chance would I have had? “I don’t know,” he mused, “you were pretty persistent.”

One time we were walking in San Francisco, and passed a young man who I had known before meeting him. He smiled and said hello, I said hello back, we walked on. “Who was that?” he asked. “Oh, that was [guy’s name ]”. He looked askance. “And what is he – *besides* short?”

And we’ve been together twenty years now. Good good ness.

Ken L.
10 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri

given the many unsolved serial murder cases it hard to say. The Best examples I can think of Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed,Rosemary West, Myra Hindley, and Karla Holmoka all have stranger victims. although I should note that with the exception of the countess they are all teamed with male killers.

Ken L.
10 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri

i missed you saying solely strangers. in that case Hindley and the Countess are the two who come to mind who are not land ladies,

katz
10 years ago

Fibinachi, pecunim, ya’ll have pretty amazing lives, it seems. And you wonder why you don’t worry about women?

But you can have their amazing lives, too! You could take up archery or learn an instrument or plant a garden or whatever. None of these are expensive, nor do they require you to be handsome or have a nice personality.

But no, instead you choose to spend your time whining about how you can’t get a girlfriend. You know perfectly well that you could have a happy, fulfilling life doing other things, but you would rather continue being miserable.

kittehserf
10 years ago

But katz, you can’t go expecting underhanded to settle for just any old girlfriend! It’s his right as a dude with a sadboner to have only an HB10 who will for some unfathomable reason admire/adore him.

Leah
Leah
10 years ago

“I mean, isn’t one of the complaints amongst ya’ll about Nice Guy dipsticks that they only want to sleep with very attractive women them despite not being attractive themselves?”

Actually, it is. You’re a Classic Nice Guy and I can tell you’re anything but a attractive. And I have no idea what you look like. See if you can figure that one out.

Contrary to what you and a lot of other Nice Guys think, it’s not your desire to be with a beautiful woman that makes you a misogynistic prick, it’s the fact that you think beauty is a woman’s only valuable asset. Whenever you talk about your exes, all you talk about is how they looked.

It’s alright to want an attractive girlfriend, I know lot of guys who are like this, and they somehow still manage to function, despite not currently having one. You on the other hand, are obssessed. Your even said that having a beautiful would give you a sense of purpose, this a need that is not healthy and pity you.
It’s no Wonder you best relationship only lasted a month.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Leah – plus, when the duders want a beautiful girlfriend, that’s right and natural and it’s just wrong that beautiful women don’t give the time of day to said poor duders. Women having any preferences at all is just shallow and selfish and blah blah blah. (Those preferences naturally exclude the NiceGuys and MRAs, becasue ewww.)

Leah
Leah
10 years ago

Kittenserf: Exactly. Why can’t she see that quiet, misunderstood geek who never talks to her(or anyone else) would give her all the love she deserves? plus, her current boyfriend is a football player, what an uintelligent jerk he must be. And she’s put off by his bad breath or obssessive stares? what a shallow bitch.

I actually value looks in a man a lot and I’m probably quite shallow, but I would never, ever tell other people what their preferences should be.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Leah, I’m sitting here snickering now. Well played!

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Ken — so really just Hindley, since the countess was centuries ago…creepy that neither of us can come up with a single female serial killer who acted alone and targeted just strangers from within the last few centuries when male examples are household names (Dahmer, Gacy, etc)

Wonder if that’s a matter of reporting, or them getting caught faster or what.

WWTH — thanks!

Alex
10 years ago

pinkfluffyunicrone,

I have tons and tons of long, curly hair. I comb through it only in the shower and then take the loose strands and roll them into tiny balls so all the hairs are together. Half the time I remember to throw the hair balls away, half the time Mr. Unicrone gets to wonder what the hell I’m up to.

I thought I was the only one who did this. O_O I usually remember to throw them away before any dude I invite over sees them…

On beauty, my ex would tell me all the time that I was out of his league, that he was lucky, that how was I always so incredibly cute and sexy, and blah blah blah. And I definitely devoted more of myself to that relationship than he did. So tell me, undfreeland, why was he the one to end it? Even after the break up, he messaged me one day to tell me I was a “10”. He had “the love of a beautiful woman” according to him. He should have been in a state of bliss! Except, no, actually he was pretty fucking miserable most of the time, ridiculously insecure, convinced I’d dump him for someone better looking (all the while doing everything he could to try to make himself unattractive), etc.. He found my quirks irritating and saw them and my introvertedness as a form of “social retardation”. It’s almost like looks aren’t everything, you idiot. Doesn’t matter how good-looking you find your partner; if you aren’t fond of their personalities, it’s not going to work out. No matter how many times you look at them and are “blown away”, they’re still human with their own personalities and flaws. Whatever bliss you felt with that super attractive lady wouldn’t have lasted if she’d stayed. Don’t kid yourself.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Does Aileen Wuornos count?

Ken L.
10 years ago

@ kittehserf

Maybe but i seem to remember hearing she knew at least one of her victims.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
10 years ago

I’ve read somewhere that because law enforcement and psychological profilers were insanely sexist for, oh, most of their history, that the numbers of women serial killers has probably been under reported.

Shit, for like the first fifty years of the program, FBI profilers basically functioned on the assumption that there’s no such thing as a female serial killer. They’re probably more rare, but usually if you start with the assumption that something can’t possibly exist, you tend to miss the ones that do.

Ken L.
10 years ago

@ Binjabreel

Well sexism played a part, it’s a little more complicated then just sexism. The FBI profiling method is based on interviews with incarcerated killer. being that the sample group were all men it was impossible for the results accurately to take into account female killers. Also law enforcement in my view is rather pragmatic in out look, so by default many of the crimes by the very nature (not just physical strength) would cause investigators to lean towards male suspects. not sexism had nothing to do with it, it just in this case it things less transparent then most topics.

bluecatbabe
bluecatbabe
10 years ago

Just on facts, it’s kind of hard to see how Hindley and West fit the bill of stranger-killing serial killers, as most of their victims were known to them (in some cases neighbours, people they babysat for, in one case a daughter, a lodger…) and to their partners in crime.

bluecatbabe
bluecatbabe
10 years ago

Personal note on the above: Fred West gave me a lift in 1976 in the Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire. I was with two friends and he was alone. We got away. It remained in my mind as merely a very bizarre encounter until I recognised him and his grubby little van in a book about the killings 22 years later.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
10 years ago

Holy shit, that’s terrifying.

Personally I’d always been of the opinion that the whole killer profiling thing wasn’t much more than glorified cold reading, so my opinion of it is pretty low all around.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

Argh, what is it WITH assholes who do not understand the concept of a passive-aggressive creepazoid calling himself a Nice Guy? Oh wait, I already know.

My rapist wasn’t a “Nice” Guy because he wanted a hot girlfriend; he saw himself as a misunderstood outcast still pining after the cheerleaders years after he’d left high school. He was an asshole because he preyed upon children, because he wrote me letters like this, because he felt entitled to sex multiple times a week from a child girlfriend who lived half an hour away from him, and because he thought grooming a sixteen-year-old to be his wifeykins was a totally acceptable thing to do.

RE: apartment

Well, it’s not likely to happen till spring (I am really, REALLY tired of moving every fucking year) but it will hopefully indeed happen! If I am truly lucky, I’ll be able to stay with my current landlord even, because he is a champion.

RE: Fibinachi

My actual job is currently being a knight in shining armor.

Like, at a theme park or something? How did that happen?

RE: Unimaginative

if you heal your leaky gut (which you have to have in order to develop an autoimmune disorder)

Uhhhhh I dunno about that. Pretty sure that woman I knew with MS did NOT get it from digestive issues. My diabetic aunt got it from a sickness when she was a kid. There’s a hereditary component, for chrissakes; one of my friends had arthritis when she was four, and I doubt it was due to digestive issues.

Falconer
Falconer
10 years ago

Making someone cry as I dungeonmaster a roleplaying game.

It’s all chuckles and laughter until my half-elf ranger dies.

::much sobbing::
I miss you most of all Gwenhwyfar!
::still more tears::

Meh heh! Player tears are delicious. I mix them with rosemary and basil and glaze my roast with them. Mmmm. Perfection.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

I forgot about Wuornos, yeah, I’d say she prolly counts.

Bluecatbabe — well that’s terrifying!

Binjabreel — there’ve been plenty of female serial killers, they just tend to go after people they know. At least, as far as law enforcement knows that is. The idea that Jack the Ripper might have been a woman has always intrigued me, the theory is basically that who can walk around in the middle of the night covered in blood and not arrouse suspicion? A midwife.

Ken — that’s still sexism, the idea that women are too “nice” or whatever is just benevolent sexism — still casting women as inherently different from men, just in a way that paints them in a good light.

LBT
LBT
10 years ago

AAAAAH ZOMG GUYS I HAVE EXCITING NEWS.

So, I just made a new pocket zine on fighting restriction urges in eating disorders! (AKA: the urge not to eat)

I have called two mental hospitals and they’re both interested, and so I am sending material to them! They might buy things for their patients! I might be able to help people! I AM SO EXCITED GUYS.

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