Sometimes I hunt the misogyny, sometimes it wanders up right up to me and says hello.
Today’s post is an example of the latter. Below, a slightly edited comment that someone left for me this morning. It’s a response to a post of mine about a dreadful post on Return of Kings in which a fellow calling himself Billy Chubbs argued, with absolutely no evidence, that a recent high school shooter was driven to murder because of his “probable sexual frustration,” Chubbs went on to argue that young women are “selfish” because they don’t have sex with guys they’re not attracted to.
Anyway, my new commenter – posting under the name “whogoesthere?” – thinks that I and the other commenters here were being too hard on Chubbs’ “very good argument.” And so he deposited this giant rant, which in many ways is even scarier than Chubbs’ original.
He’s a tad verbose, so I’ve trimmed out some stuff that isn’t relevant to his general, er, thesis. And I’ve also taken the liberty of adding a few paragraph breaks and bolding a few of the best (i.e. worst) bits.
When men don’t get the women they want they turn to violence.
Not a good start here, because this just isn’t true. In this case, the phrase “not all men” is, for once, appropriate. Most men don’t get violent when they’re turned down.
This is established all over the animal kingdom and offers a good example about how it applies to humans, that snotty girls who keep their sexual treasures to all but a few males cause the remaining males to snap. …
Animals do all sorts of things that humans don’t do, and we can’t always learn from their behavior or assume that it relates to our own lives.
Or maybe the Evo Psych crew is just looking at the wrong animals. When banana slugs can’t find a partner to have sex with, they simply fertilize themselves. There’s a lesson here, I think, for the angry incels of the world: you can’t always get what you want, and when you can’t, sex with yourself is better than murder.
High school is a massively sexually charged winner take all environment. … Today’s high school is basically an ongoing audition for a porno video and the guys and girls who don’t make the cut can only sit at home and masturbate.
wat
It’s demeaning and hits a major blow to a person’s sexual identity to not be invited to frolic with the beautiful people.
Somehow most people, regardless of gender, manage to survive even if they’re not frolicking with Charlize Theron and/or Channing Tatum.
I’m sorry but almost no men go on wild shooting rampages if they have a beautiful female in their keep.
In their keep?! Also, no. Charles Manson was surrounded by beautiful young women. Yet he orchestrated multiple grisly murders.
The only guys that do so are bank robbers and thieves, generally guys at a later stage of life more fixated on money.
wat
Human beings naturally assess the amount of sex going around them and judge themselves in relationship to the amount and type of sex others are getting.
You know, you can’t actually tell how much and what kind of sex someone is having just by looking at them. Yes, there will always be people in the world having more sex with you. And some of these people are having sex with people you would probably like to have sex with. There are also people who are smarter than you, funnier than you, who can play chess or kickbox better than you, who have hundreds or thousands of times more money than you do.
That’s life. Life isn’t fair.
This makes sense because from a reproductive standpoint sex is coveted, and sex with beautiful thin, young women are the most coveted. Being the first to spoil these young women sexually is viewed reproductively as a guarantee of parentage, thus this is why males instinctively covet and burn with passion for these females.
Ah, yes, it was only a matter of time until the creepy pedo-justifying Evo Psych assfacts made their appearance. Not all men “burn with passion” in their pants for virginal high school girls.
This is why we have “morality” which is in its essence is a promise not to flaunt or indulge in sex moreso than the lowest man or woman in your tribe. This is what is meant when people say “morality went out the window.” They mean someone with more sexual prowess is openly indulging in sex and broadcasting it to stimulate the jealousy of the underclasses.
I’m pretty sure that’s not what people mean when they say “morality went out the window.”
This teen killed people cause he thought that beautiful girls were out of reach. The high school environment merely rubbed it in his face. Yes drugs to treat ADD might’ve eroded many of the impulse control functions in the teen, but the rage against the high school was still the gasoline.
[citation needed]
He might’ve had a picture or two taken with a girl next to him, but oftentimes those high school girls lie and simply eat up the male’s offerings without granting sexual access, but grant it to a random stud.
How dare young women choose who to have sex with, and who not to!
I’m not saying the girl he killed deserved it, it’s only that when you are in that frame of mind you cannot tell who is having more sex than others and you simply fill in the gaps with rage.
Wait, so if she had turned him down he would have been justified in killing her?
The beautiful girl simply represented everything that the teen couldn’t get. The steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.
Yeah, I think you’re confusing high school with porn again. His rampage lasted roughly a minute and a half. He shot her because she was there.
All the other theories posted on this site seem comical, self-righteous and weirdly off-point. It’s like you’re assessing the situation as an asexual senior citizen or righteous prude.
Not a lot of “prudes” here. Just people who find the “women need to have sex with ‘nice guys’ or these ‘nice gys’ will kill you all” to be a somewhat problematic argument.
Generally men want sex with young thin beauties who validate their existence.
Some men do. But most men, among those who are sexually attracted to women, aren’t as neurotically fixated on this small slice of the female demographic – women in their teens and early twenties who are somehow both virginal and sexually “wild” – as manosphere men seem to be. And most people don’t base their entire self-worth on whether or not they’re having sex with beautiful people.
Some men prefer women older than them. Some like women who are fat. Plenty of men don’t fixate on a particular physical type and are attracted to all sorts of different women. Believe it or not, whogoesthere, there are lots of men who are more interested in what’s in a woman’s head than they are in whether or not she matches up with some particular checklist of physical attributes.
If society removes all of the social pathways to attaining such a beauty, such as making prostitution illegal, increasing shame for men who seek sex, rewarding females and males called manginas who identify and mock the sex seekers and so on… this will lead to depression in men and all of the behaviors surrounding it, including shootings. Sounds pretty much like a logical line of reasoning to me.
And that’s the problem. It’s not actually a logical line of reasoning at all. It’s more like a sort of blackmail.
Men don’t kill women because they can’t have “the steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.” Sometimes men kill women because they feel entitled to have sex with these “valuable young girls” and become bitter and enraged when they can’t find a “valuable young girl” who agrees with them on this particular point.
It’s not the lack of “sexual access” that’s the problem. It’s the notion that your desire for “sexual access” means more than the right of that person to say “no.” It’s the notion that society has done you wrong because you can’t (at least at the moment) get laid. It’s the idea that your desire to have sex with a particular kind of woman somehow trumps the right of other people to live.
I mean, what the fucking fuck.
Oh, by the way, there’s no evidence that the shooter in question – Karl Halverson Pierson – was motivated by sexual frustration. His intended target was the school librarian, who is also the school’s debate coach. Pierson was obsessed with debate, and had some sort of grudge against the coach.
Enh, after the adventures of the prior seven years, I am TOTALLY OKAY with having shit calm down for a bit. I look immensely forward to just living a boring quiet life of art, comics, and hubby.
Though exciting news! It looks like we might get to have a little efficiency apartment all to ourself come spring! Fingers crossed it works out, I would love to get the opportunity to live alone at some point.
To quote an old friend – the reason that you’re unhappy is that you’re an asshole.
I also think it’s bizarre that anyone would assume I ever mention any of the thoughts I’ve expressed here to anyone but highly cynical men.
Ah yes, the “women are much to stupid to figure out I have no respect for them” rebuttal. Very popular with the MRAs. You’re not nearly as unique as you think.
Jesus. I understand that my views run counter to pretty much everything that is EXPLICIT in our culture. The typical network television watching slack jaw isn’t any likelier to agree with me than other feminists.
Wait, you don’t think you picked up this stuff about gold-digging, jerk-loving women and the massive importance of scoring with hot babes from mainstream culture? You think it’s original and clever? Wow.
RE: undfreeland
She did act as if she admired me… but I assume she was only channeling those emotions to get herself off in some way.
Like I said, dude. You’re an asshole. Here you are, presuming to know what she thinks, and in a way that makes her look narcissistic and self-absorbed, even though the indication I’VE been getting is the reverse. Do you even realize what you sound like?
I’m with cassandrakitty, dude. You ain’t no feminist. You might like to think so, but you ain’t.
::shedder fistbump::
I shed as much as the kitties, I swear. I found a stray hair of mine in the fridge the other day. Good thing Mum didn’t see it, she’d have freaked.
You’re Louis’s gardening soulmate, pecunium! 😀
Quiet lives can be the most amazing, no matter where they take place. All you need is the right person (even if that person is a great friend, or even just yourself).
Truth, Flying Mouse! Part of the amazing is that our very quiet days are amazing. The whole “how could immortality not be boring” question’s been pretty much answered.
Not that anyone with 19 Furrinati in the family has time to be bored. Just ‘cos they don’t need to be fed, watered, cossetted, admired, etc, etc, doesn’t mean they don’t expect to be.
@ LBT
Yay potential new apartment! That’s a pretty big step up, considering what your living situation was not too long ago.
Oh, congrats LBT!! I have still not procured the soil I need to send you plants, but your cactus is looking like it’s gonna put down roots here soon, so it should do fine!
Sorry I’m being a putz about the soil >.< I want to send the cactus off with cactus soil so you don't have to worry about drainage.
kittehserf,
SHEDDING FTW!
RE: cassandrakitty
Yay potential new apartment! That’s a pretty big step up, considering what your living situation was not too long ago.
I know, right? But rent here is so fucking cheap, you can get an efficiency for less than $400! I’m hoping I can scope around and find myself a nice little place this spring. It might be a little tight, but I’m pretty sure I can manage it on my budget, and honestly, I really look forward to having a space that’s purely, utterly ours.
(Also hubby wants to be able to bang me like a gong and not worry so much about noise.)
RE: Argenti
Sneak says it’s okay, zie has utmost faith in your cactusy skills. And it’s just as well you’re picky about the soil, since despite our Texas upbringing, we don’t know jack about cacti.
I’m not model beautiful, but I’m used to turning heads. The idea that my partners are in a state of constant bliss, or that I give their life purpose is laughable. Maybe I’m not quite beautiful enough. Is there a tipping point? Like, any woman <HB9 doesn't inspire this kind of energy? Or is it more of a sliding scale, where a man is happy with an HB8, blissful with an HB9, and at risk of aneurism with an HB10?
You are correct that I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole, and I believe you when you say you don't have much to offer. But really, the deal killer is that you don't seem good-hearted, which for me is deal point #1.
It's so tiring when misogynists/racists/whatever try to justify their half-assed theories by pretending most people aren't brave enough to acknowledge the terrible truth. We're not stupid. Of course most of the things you say are true *some of the time*. All other things being equal, good looks will make it easier to get dates. Same for charm, wealth, connections, etc and so on. Playing hard to get can work some of the time for some people. People tend to be more shallow as teenagers. Most of us grow out of that. Of course, some of us don't (ahem).
It's a cliche that we don't see things as they are. We see things as WE are. You aren't a particularly nice person, and you have an incredibly shallow view of women. If you hadn't mentioned dating a PhD candidate, I would have assumed you were fourteen, though admittedly, I've met a lot of fourteen yos who sound more mature than you. But given what you are, is it any surprise that you find yourself around shallow women who are attracted to jerks? They are hanging around you. Obviously their jerk tolerance is high.
Being polite doesn't make you a kind person. It means you've managed to paint a veneer over your self-centeredness and your objectifying views. But whatevs. I am sure that someday, you will meet a woman as willing to use you as you are her, and she will take you for whatever you've got. Then you can move into your "all women are deceitful, gold-digging whores" phase. I'm guessing by then, you'll start your posts off with, "I used to be a feminist,"
Argenti: I need to put the rear pegs back on the bike. I’ve been thinking about it. Right now I need to sleep off the wear and tear of the weekend. I drank rather a bit too much (not a lot, but a bit; two nights running, and not quite a bit too much the third), and sang a lot, and OMG do my hands hurt from the combined effects of buying a Low-D whistle (extra bonus: I chose that photo because it shows context really well: then I saw it was a friend of Mme Pecunium) and trying to learn to play it (and I even played it some in public on Sat. night), as well as buying a new drum in the InterFilk Auction.
But putting her back into better shape, so I can take people out… on the agenda. Then I need an EasyPass, so I don’t have to have cash for tolls.
Okay, taking five to say: We got another ‘Oh Greatest Feminist Evar (with uber-misogynist bonus)’?
Undfreeland, you are no feminist. Really.
Everyone else: The career firefighters I’m precepting with are amazing cooks. I was the only girly-type at the table, and did nothing for food prep other than washing dishes, and setting table
Ridiculously good. Scratch marinara sauce, baked chicken, and pasta with pesto.
Yep.
Back to duty! 12.5 hour to go!
To summarize the general feeling here – undfreeland, the problem isn’t that other people are shallow selfish assholes, it’s that you are.
Ooh, I’ve heard that there’s a lot of good food to be had at fire stations.
I’ve never been a head-turner, and it wouldn’t matter if underhandedtroll looked like Paul Newman or Robert Redford or George Clooney and had all their incomes combined – I wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole either. Even if he was a dead ringer for Mr K, I wouldn’t touch him, because he’s a misogynistic little twerp.
I wonder if he’s been ignored in lifts and has variable morning and evening height?
Shall we try re-purposing a song?
You’re a creep
You’re a weirdo
What the hell are you doing here?
You don’t belong here
@undfreeland
“If we disagree about the realities of the dating market, it is because I have a more realistic and objective attitude about it than than most”
You clearly have a very high opinion of yourself, but you’ve given no indication that you actually grasp the economic model of sex and marriage. I would suggest that you not throw around terms like “dating market,” or describe yourself as “realistic and objective” about it, until you read up on what that phrase means. You’re talking about an actual, academic model with actual, academic criticisms. Until you understand the model and the criticisms, it would probably be in your best interests not to use the term.
I love that song! I wonder what that says about me…
Wow, it took me a good three evenings to catch up on this thread. Parts of it were pretty good, but the feminist misogynist was totally not worth it.
I prefer large men, because they seem normal to me. Big, tall men around? All systems normal. Men who are shorter than I am? Stranger in the compound, alert! Alert! Hmm. I wonder what that says about me…
I also shed. I’m the only one in the house with hair longer than about 2 cm, so I get ALL the blame for stray hair showing up on clothes, furniture, and stuff.
re firehouses: I can’t say for them, but when I was TDY with an MI detachment in Uijongbu, we did “firehouse” cooking (because there wasn’t a mess hall). So we rotated cooking in pairs. Because I was Temporary DutY, they were all looking forward to my night in the rotation, since it would be a new hand in the kitchen (it was a small detachment, about 16 people).
We had good food; because everyone had practice.
re shedding: We all have long hair, so no one can be blamed, specifically. We just sweep up, and there is a large ball of long strands in the broom.
You truly are an ass, you know that?
Oooh speaking of shedding. For almost all my adult life, I kept my hair at a nice buzz cut. But 2 years or so ago, I decided to just stop cutting it. Now it’s halfway down my back. I had to buy a hair drier! But the biggest thing is the shedding. I had to take my best friend’s advice and buy a little rake to collect hair on my carpet. So weird.
(When I said collect, I meant gather for disposal… Not keep in a jar above my bed.)
Tessa, you mean you’re not keeping it for a creepy pillow-stuffing?
I has a disappoint.
Heh. I used to have butt-length hair, and I kept the braid when I got it cut off. It’s stored in a carved wooden box somewhere. It’s not a sacred object or anything, it just feels weird to throw it in the garbage. I guess I’m waiting for a ritual to use it in. (I’d donate it, but it’s at least half grey and dyed, so they don’t want it.)