Sometimes I hunt the misogyny, sometimes it wanders up right up to me and says hello.
Today’s post is an example of the latter. Below, a slightly edited comment that someone left for me this morning. It’s a response to a post of mine about a dreadful post on Return of Kings in which a fellow calling himself Billy Chubbs argued, with absolutely no evidence, that a recent high school shooter was driven to murder because of his “probable sexual frustration,” Chubbs went on to argue that young women are “selfish” because they don’t have sex with guys they’re not attracted to.
Anyway, my new commenter – posting under the name “whogoesthere?” – thinks that I and the other commenters here were being too hard on Chubbs’ “very good argument.” And so he deposited this giant rant, which in many ways is even scarier than Chubbs’ original.
He’s a tad verbose, so I’ve trimmed out some stuff that isn’t relevant to his general, er, thesis. And I’ve also taken the liberty of adding a few paragraph breaks and bolding a few of the best (i.e. worst) bits.
When men don’t get the women they want they turn to violence.
Not a good start here, because this just isn’t true. In this case, the phrase “not all men” is, for once, appropriate. Most men don’t get violent when they’re turned down.
This is established all over the animal kingdom and offers a good example about how it applies to humans, that snotty girls who keep their sexual treasures to all but a few males cause the remaining males to snap. …
Animals do all sorts of things that humans don’t do, and we can’t always learn from their behavior or assume that it relates to our own lives.
Or maybe the Evo Psych crew is just looking at the wrong animals. When banana slugs can’t find a partner to have sex with, they simply fertilize themselves. There’s a lesson here, I think, for the angry incels of the world: you can’t always get what you want, and when you can’t, sex with yourself is better than murder.
High school is a massively sexually charged winner take all environment. … Today’s high school is basically an ongoing audition for a porno video and the guys and girls who don’t make the cut can only sit at home and masturbate.
wat
It’s demeaning and hits a major blow to a person’s sexual identity to not be invited to frolic with the beautiful people.
Somehow most people, regardless of gender, manage to survive even if they’re not frolicking with Charlize Theron and/or Channing Tatum.
I’m sorry but almost no men go on wild shooting rampages if they have a beautiful female in their keep.
In their keep?! Also, no. Charles Manson was surrounded by beautiful young women. Yet he orchestrated multiple grisly murders.
The only guys that do so are bank robbers and thieves, generally guys at a later stage of life more fixated on money.
wat
Human beings naturally assess the amount of sex going around them and judge themselves in relationship to the amount and type of sex others are getting.
You know, you can’t actually tell how much and what kind of sex someone is having just by looking at them. Yes, there will always be people in the world having more sex with you. And some of these people are having sex with people you would probably like to have sex with. There are also people who are smarter than you, funnier than you, who can play chess or kickbox better than you, who have hundreds or thousands of times more money than you do.
That’s life. Life isn’t fair.
This makes sense because from a reproductive standpoint sex is coveted, and sex with beautiful thin, young women are the most coveted. Being the first to spoil these young women sexually is viewed reproductively as a guarantee of parentage, thus this is why males instinctively covet and burn with passion for these females.
Ah, yes, it was only a matter of time until the creepy pedo-justifying Evo Psych assfacts made their appearance. Not all men “burn with passion” in their pants for virginal high school girls.
This is why we have “morality” which is in its essence is a promise not to flaunt or indulge in sex moreso than the lowest man or woman in your tribe. This is what is meant when people say “morality went out the window.” They mean someone with more sexual prowess is openly indulging in sex and broadcasting it to stimulate the jealousy of the underclasses.
I’m pretty sure that’s not what people mean when they say “morality went out the window.”
This teen killed people cause he thought that beautiful girls were out of reach. The high school environment merely rubbed it in his face. Yes drugs to treat ADD might’ve eroded many of the impulse control functions in the teen, but the rage against the high school was still the gasoline.
[citation needed]
He might’ve had a picture or two taken with a girl next to him, but oftentimes those high school girls lie and simply eat up the male’s offerings without granting sexual access, but grant it to a random stud.
How dare young women choose who to have sex with, and who not to!
I’m not saying the girl he killed deserved it, it’s only that when you are in that frame of mind you cannot tell who is having more sex than others and you simply fill in the gaps with rage.
Wait, so if she had turned him down he would have been justified in killing her?
The beautiful girl simply represented everything that the teen couldn’t get. The steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.
Yeah, I think you’re confusing high school with porn again. His rampage lasted roughly a minute and a half. He shot her because she was there.
All the other theories posted on this site seem comical, self-righteous and weirdly off-point. It’s like you’re assessing the situation as an asexual senior citizen or righteous prude.
Not a lot of “prudes” here. Just people who find the “women need to have sex with ‘nice guys’ or these ‘nice gys’ will kill you all” to be a somewhat problematic argument.
Generally men want sex with young thin beauties who validate their existence.
Some men do. But most men, among those who are sexually attracted to women, aren’t as neurotically fixated on this small slice of the female demographic – women in their teens and early twenties who are somehow both virginal and sexually “wild” – as manosphere men seem to be. And most people don’t base their entire self-worth on whether or not they’re having sex with beautiful people.
Some men prefer women older than them. Some like women who are fat. Plenty of men don’t fixate on a particular physical type and are attracted to all sorts of different women. Believe it or not, whogoesthere, there are lots of men who are more interested in what’s in a woman’s head than they are in whether or not she matches up with some particular checklist of physical attributes.
If society removes all of the social pathways to attaining such a beauty, such as making prostitution illegal, increasing shame for men who seek sex, rewarding females and males called manginas who identify and mock the sex seekers and so on… this will lead to depression in men and all of the behaviors surrounding it, including shootings. Sounds pretty much like a logical line of reasoning to me.
And that’s the problem. It’s not actually a logical line of reasoning at all. It’s more like a sort of blackmail.
Men don’t kill women because they can’t have “the steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.” Sometimes men kill women because they feel entitled to have sex with these “valuable young girls” and become bitter and enraged when they can’t find a “valuable young girl” who agrees with them on this particular point.
It’s not the lack of “sexual access” that’s the problem. It’s the notion that your desire for “sexual access” means more than the right of that person to say “no.” It’s the notion that society has done you wrong because you can’t (at least at the moment) get laid. It’s the idea that your desire to have sex with a particular kind of woman somehow trumps the right of other people to live.
I mean, what the fucking fuck.
Oh, by the way, there’s no evidence that the shooter in question – Karl Halverson Pierson – was motivated by sexual frustration. His intended target was the school librarian, who is also the school’s debate coach. Pierson was obsessed with debate, and had some sort of grudge against the coach.
Okay, so catching up, I like forearms, I like beards (not necessary though), I like hair on the head (though some men can definitely rock the bald look), I like hands, backs, shoulders, biceps, eyes, eyebrows, lips, cheekbones, chests, bellies (tubby or abby), hips. Legs and butts don’t do much for me, but I do like to grab butts, poke noses, and pinch ears. A word on hands, and on big men in general, I used to be incredibly intimidated by them. I wasn’t even fully aware of that carry-over from the child sexual abuse I’d endured until I took a chance with a big man who had the largest hands I’ve ever seen. He didn’t hurt me, and suddenly it was like this wall came down and realized that not only am I not unattracted to big men, I prefer them.
LBT, that was awesome brain bleach! 😀 Happy anniversary!
I looove women who wear knitwear. Especially when it includes knitted beanies. :3
I love the knitwear. Had a mutual “Your jacket is so amazing” moment in the middle of a pedestrian crossing recently. 😀
Search for useable knitwear picture: successful!
Perfect example of original model =/= hot, because his hair looked lank and greasy. Product, no doubt, but ewww.
Now this Dolce & Gabbana pic has a lovely model, and the knitwear is soooooo gorgeous, I can just feel how soft it is.
http://www.sageclothing.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Dolce-Gabbana-Autumn-Winter-2012-Ready-To-Wear-Collection-6-e13525036593061.jpg
I notice that some of us like beards and some don’t.
I like a manicured beard or none at all, but not a big long bushy one.
Yet a friend of mine’s ex-boyfriend had a long, thick white beard and she called him Poseidon, because she thought he looked like the god of the seas. He did too, if Poseidon had been a biker and fond of black leather. (Which for some reason, I can easily imagine.)
I’ve got a friend who a lawyer and he wears his chest long beard right up into court like the rebel he is. His wife thinks he’s the sexiest thing ever. I do admire his moxie.
I have a butch female friend with a thick chin patch she could put a ponytail holder in and her girlfriends are all about her.
It’s almost like women, men and intersex people are individuals with their own attractions and desires. Fancy that.
Careful, Lea! Saying things like “people are individuals” is just too shocking for the misters! There won’t be enough fainting couches to go round.
Gotta love this – look at the current post on Hoyden About Town!
XD
I very occasionally like stubble, but never beards, and mostly prefer no facial hair at all (and very little body hair). But wait! If we’re all ferrets in a David suit, how to explain the varied preferences?
Because ferrets are individuals too!
Anyone who likes handsome dudes in suits, and wants a laugh, look at this.
http://hoydenabouttown.com/20140623.16928/today-in-awesome-things-on-the-internet/#comment-254633
Ooh, I like the longer jacket on the guy in the middle who’s also wearing a beanie.
(I like the guy, too.)
I haven’t really noticed any physical features that I prefer. I suppose that mobile enough to play, hike, and have fun times might be it for the physical.
Most of my total turn offs are mental stuff. Referring to the Furrinati as it’s instead of hims, hers, or zie’s is a huge turn off. Negging is a huge turn off.
I mean, I’m generally pretty ‘meh’ to start with, but those? 2 degrees, Kelvin. I might be ace, though, because my most involved thought ever was:
“This seems like a good person to use as a pillow. Safe, warm, nice pillow.”
Does this mean there’s a pillow-zone?
I met my husband when we were both volunteering at a cartoon museum. In my experience, that’s the normal way people hook up.
Oh gods yes, I hate that, from any human.
Yes, and the Furrinati got there first: all humans are in it.
I’ve used furrinati as pillows before, though. I guess I was doing it wrong.
Miscatry! Or was it misdogry?
I’d use Mads as a pillow if she’d let me. She has the shape for it.
Fribs is a complete pillow-zoner, but it causes her some concern, because she’s the only one doing it and has to keep swapping laps.
At a museum?
I’ve done both! Big dogs make comfier pillows, but the purring is a plus with cats.
Noooooo! Miscatry and misdogry both? It’s too terrible!
I met my husband when we were both volunteering at a cartoon museum. In my experience, that’s the normal way people hook up.
You’re not bad, you’re just drawn that way?
Ba-dum tish!
“I mean yeah, teenage hormones, presumably lots of people are horny, but I’ve always suspected that most teenagers (and college student) think their peers having a lot more sex than they actually are…”
I agree with this. I also think they’re comparing themselves to their peers a lot more. The problem with people who never leave High School mentally is that they never realize the value of having sex with a compatiable partner whom you trust as opposed to constantly sleeping with someone new.
It’s a prevelant manosphere belief that a man’s worth is judged almost entirely on is “notch count” (the number of women he has bedded.)
http://www.rooshv.com/you-are-the-last-3-women-youve-slept-with
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2007/09/19/defining-the-alpha-male/
If your are a regular reader on ROK or Heartiste like me, you will also notice that they have dozens of articles about how to manipulate women into sex and zero about how you can make make sex/relationships a mutually enjoyable experience, which is strange since more sex/relationships with women is supposedly the entire point of “game”.
Anecdata, don’t you just love it?
Not too surprisingly, my experience is exactly the opposite. The most attractive women I have slept with were persuaded in that direction by the fact that we found each other pleasant company and made each other laugh. A lot.
In fact, the one time I had a girlfriend so attractive that heads involuntarily turned towards her in the street on a regular basis, I often heard the question “how the hell did you end up with someone like her?” The answer was that most men – or at least most British men: she was American – found her intimidating in the extreme (because she combined those looks with a sky-high IQ), and I didn’t. It probably helped that we first “met” over the phone (she was the PA to a regular client, who never seemed to be in when I rang), so by the time I was finally in the same room as her we already knew each other well enough to pick up the conversation from there.
But I’m really not that fussed about looks or age – what matters to me is if I enjoy her company (and of course vice versa) and if we have a shared sense of humour. Plus one or two other things, but those really are the basics.
On the topic of attraction or lack thereof, there was a great thread on Shakesville where one comment in particular from Hellianne caught my eye:
That, to me, is the essence of what’s messed up about the entire PUA and incel mindset – it’s based on an incredibly reductive and restrictive view of what constitutes “attractiveness” and “status” and completely ignores the independent desires or dislikes of women.
(Let’s see if I can blockquote correctly!)
I think making the sex unpleasant for women is a feature, not a bug.
strivingally, I love that quote from Shakesville (and yay blockquote!) Especially this: “When we talked, his happiness at interacting with me was contagious…”
That’s what those fuckwits in the incel and PUA don’t want to know. People taking joy in each other is alien to them. Their little heads would explode at the idea that mutual happiness and caring in a romantic relationship is sexy as hell. Even outside romantic/sexual relationships, these clowns don’t seem to have a clue about liking and being liked by other people: they’re not exactly the great supporting and uplifting types they pretend to be for each other.
@Wetherby, you are probably rather good looking. You also talk about having clients, a sign of some sort of financial success. I’m sure your personalities did indeed mesh well, but without wealth and looks, she wouldn’t have looked twice at you.
It’s understandable that so many high-status men tend to unknowingly lie to themselves and everyone else about how and why they attract quality women. It allows them to follow the prevalent narrative of love based on personality, and allows them to ascribe agency to their wide mate selection.
I must admit. I envy you sir. The admiration of a beautiful woman brings about the most sublime and joyous feelings in life. To experience it frequently, and uncomplicated for prolonged periods… I can’t even imagine such bliss.