Sometimes I hunt the misogyny, sometimes it wanders up right up to me and says hello.
Today’s post is an example of the latter. Below, a slightly edited comment that someone left for me this morning. It’s a response to a post of mine about a dreadful post on Return of Kings in which a fellow calling himself Billy Chubbs argued, with absolutely no evidence, that a recent high school shooter was driven to murder because of his “probable sexual frustration,” Chubbs went on to argue that young women are “selfish” because they don’t have sex with guys they’re not attracted to.
Anyway, my new commenter – posting under the name “whogoesthere?” – thinks that I and the other commenters here were being too hard on Chubbs’ “very good argument.” And so he deposited this giant rant, which in many ways is even scarier than Chubbs’ original.
He’s a tad verbose, so I’ve trimmed out some stuff that isn’t relevant to his general, er, thesis. And I’ve also taken the liberty of adding a few paragraph breaks and bolding a few of the best (i.e. worst) bits.
When men don’t get the women they want they turn to violence.
Not a good start here, because this just isn’t true. In this case, the phrase “not all men” is, for once, appropriate. Most men don’t get violent when they’re turned down.
This is established all over the animal kingdom and offers a good example about how it applies to humans, that snotty girls who keep their sexual treasures to all but a few males cause the remaining males to snap. …
Animals do all sorts of things that humans don’t do, and we can’t always learn from their behavior or assume that it relates to our own lives.
Or maybe the Evo Psych crew is just looking at the wrong animals. When banana slugs can’t find a partner to have sex with, they simply fertilize themselves. There’s a lesson here, I think, for the angry incels of the world: you can’t always get what you want, and when you can’t, sex with yourself is better than murder.
High school is a massively sexually charged winner take all environment. … Today’s high school is basically an ongoing audition for a porno video and the guys and girls who don’t make the cut can only sit at home and masturbate.
wat
It’s demeaning and hits a major blow to a person’s sexual identity to not be invited to frolic with the beautiful people.
Somehow most people, regardless of gender, manage to survive even if they’re not frolicking with Charlize Theron and/or Channing Tatum.
I’m sorry but almost no men go on wild shooting rampages if they have a beautiful female in their keep.
In their keep?! Also, no. Charles Manson was surrounded by beautiful young women. Yet he orchestrated multiple grisly murders.
The only guys that do so are bank robbers and thieves, generally guys at a later stage of life more fixated on money.
wat
Human beings naturally assess the amount of sex going around them and judge themselves in relationship to the amount and type of sex others are getting.
You know, you can’t actually tell how much and what kind of sex someone is having just by looking at them. Yes, there will always be people in the world having more sex with you. And some of these people are having sex with people you would probably like to have sex with. There are also people who are smarter than you, funnier than you, who can play chess or kickbox better than you, who have hundreds or thousands of times more money than you do.
That’s life. Life isn’t fair.
This makes sense because from a reproductive standpoint sex is coveted, and sex with beautiful thin, young women are the most coveted. Being the first to spoil these young women sexually is viewed reproductively as a guarantee of parentage, thus this is why males instinctively covet and burn with passion for these females.
Ah, yes, it was only a matter of time until the creepy pedo-justifying Evo Psych assfacts made their appearance. Not all men “burn with passion” in their pants for virginal high school girls.
This is why we have “morality” which is in its essence is a promise not to flaunt or indulge in sex moreso than the lowest man or woman in your tribe. This is what is meant when people say “morality went out the window.” They mean someone with more sexual prowess is openly indulging in sex and broadcasting it to stimulate the jealousy of the underclasses.
I’m pretty sure that’s not what people mean when they say “morality went out the window.”
This teen killed people cause he thought that beautiful girls were out of reach. The high school environment merely rubbed it in his face. Yes drugs to treat ADD might’ve eroded many of the impulse control functions in the teen, but the rage against the high school was still the gasoline.
[citation needed]
He might’ve had a picture or two taken with a girl next to him, but oftentimes those high school girls lie and simply eat up the male’s offerings without granting sexual access, but grant it to a random stud.
How dare young women choose who to have sex with, and who not to!
I’m not saying the girl he killed deserved it, it’s only that when you are in that frame of mind you cannot tell who is having more sex than others and you simply fill in the gaps with rage.
Wait, so if she had turned him down he would have been justified in killing her?
The beautiful girl simply represented everything that the teen couldn’t get. The steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.
Yeah, I think you’re confusing high school with porn again. His rampage lasted roughly a minute and a half. He shot her because she was there.
All the other theories posted on this site seem comical, self-righteous and weirdly off-point. It’s like you’re assessing the situation as an asexual senior citizen or righteous prude.
Not a lot of “prudes” here. Just people who find the “women need to have sex with ‘nice guys’ or these ‘nice gys’ will kill you all” to be a somewhat problematic argument.
Generally men want sex with young thin beauties who validate their existence.
Some men do. But most men, among those who are sexually attracted to women, aren’t as neurotically fixated on this small slice of the female demographic – women in their teens and early twenties who are somehow both virginal and sexually “wild” – as manosphere men seem to be. And most people don’t base their entire self-worth on whether or not they’re having sex with beautiful people.
Some men prefer women older than them. Some like women who are fat. Plenty of men don’t fixate on a particular physical type and are attracted to all sorts of different women. Believe it or not, whogoesthere, there are lots of men who are more interested in what’s in a woman’s head than they are in whether or not she matches up with some particular checklist of physical attributes.
If society removes all of the social pathways to attaining such a beauty, such as making prostitution illegal, increasing shame for men who seek sex, rewarding females and males called manginas who identify and mock the sex seekers and so on… this will lead to depression in men and all of the behaviors surrounding it, including shootings. Sounds pretty much like a logical line of reasoning to me.
And that’s the problem. It’s not actually a logical line of reasoning at all. It’s more like a sort of blackmail.
Men don’t kill women because they can’t have “the steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.” Sometimes men kill women because they feel entitled to have sex with these “valuable young girls” and become bitter and enraged when they can’t find a “valuable young girl” who agrees with them on this particular point.
It’s not the lack of “sexual access” that’s the problem. It’s the notion that your desire for “sexual access” means more than the right of that person to say “no.” It’s the notion that society has done you wrong because you can’t (at least at the moment) get laid. It’s the idea that your desire to have sex with a particular kind of woman somehow trumps the right of other people to live.
I mean, what the fucking fuck.
Oh, by the way, there’s no evidence that the shooter in question – Karl Halverson Pierson – was motivated by sexual frustration. His intended target was the school librarian, who is also the school’s debate coach. Pierson was obsessed with debate, and had some sort of grudge against the coach.
No seriously, isn’t unfreelandfuck everyone’s nightmare on this thread? **raises hand** Jesus christ. Digusting. I may need to hop in the shower. Ewwww.
Too late. Unless all your previous insulting comments about women and men were on purpose.
Ewwww.
So, undfreeland is saying that he’s fine with treating women like shit, as long as he has sex with them.
That’s just ewwww.
These are just a few examples. How do they make me feel? Fine. I was just acting in a way that asserted myself and was having a good time being drunk and loose. It also taught me that pursuing women in any sort of traditional, courting way is a waste of time, as those women are never interested. Maybe if I was more attractive, something like that would be possible.
I’m sorry, did you spend several paragraphs bragging about how you treat people in general and women in particular like shit, then stick in a little self-pitying whine about how women don’t like you because you’re not good-looking enough? I don’t think your looks are your problem, kiddo.
Just in case anyone else needs the bleach, because wow, awful:
Silly kitties, with adorability bonuses.
http://youtu.be/8LN0TzMRR4c
RE: undfreeland
It is amazing what even the temporary attention of a vaguely attractive woman can do to a man’s priorities.
You have a very low opinion of men. I have higher standards. Being a man, I know they are attainable.
Pragmatism, not dogmatism, is the correct path,
Your ‘pragmatism’ is that women coddle some asshole men in hopes of getting them on their side. I highly doubt it’d work.
I can give you a few examples.
Oooookay. So you’re an asshole who got laid. Congratulations. And you’re apparently totally okay with mocking women for having an engineering degree, berating their dating choices, and telling a woman who calls you on ignoring a depressed friend to fuck off.
How do they make me feel? Fine.
Here’s your asshole trophy, buddy. Good job, you got laid a handful of times, possibly by being an asshole.
As it stands, pretending to be better than I am in extra-social environments seems to be the best avenue.
If that’s ‘better’ I DREAD to know the real you. You’re a shithead, dude.
Creepy asshole needs to trick women into bed — by his own admission. Claims earlier the best looking women he’s ever had sex with he treated like shit, but complained way up thread women don’t give enough sex to men they find unattractive.
Err, someone else do the logic math, I just threw-up in my mouth a little.
Why is an engineering degree something to be mocked?
Also, it’s pretty hilarious that Unfreedland is making fun of someone for her “lack of awareness of the world.” This is coming from someone who thinks he doesn’t need facts to backs up his claims because it just feels right to universalize his own experiences and because he’s decided he’s a realist.
Since he talked about undermining Christianity I’m guessing he’s an atheist? Does he not know that if you want to consider yourself rational and skeptical you have to apply that skepticism to yourself and your own biases? It’s not always fun but it’s necessary.
“Why is an engineering degree something to be mocked?”
Because he doesn’t have one. It triggered his insecurity and misogyny until finally he felt compelled to degrad the actual holder of the engineering degree.
BRAIN BLEACH TIME! I’m going to share MY own personal anecdote of how hubby got into MY pants, because our seventh fucking anniversary is this Saturday and I feel now is the time to share a lovely counter-example of undfreeland’s horrorshow.
I met hubby when he blundered into my headspace, priorly deceased. He was in very bad condition, and saw living with us superior to death, so he surfed our mental couch until he dealt with the trauma of his death. At first, I hated his guts, purely for having the gall to exist and unravel my understanding of reality, but I wasn’t so big an asshole that I was going to leave him to the ravages of death, and we ended up sharing a room. (Because while I had a bedroom, I never used it, and he felt really weird about sleeping in my bed.)
Sharing a room can really force a bond between people, and over the months, hubby and I found ourselves talking a lot. First just basic “so who are you, anyway?” stuff, but quickly leading to other topics. I supported him through his death trauma, and he was the first person (aside from my fellow system members) to actually see me as a human being. He was also kind, thoughtful, and despite his physical size, I never felt afraid or unsafe around him. He had a gentility to him that I’d never seen before, and that, more than anything, sparked my attraction for him. I’d never been around another guy who didn’t on some level raise my vigilance and awareness, but around him, I felt safe. He could even touch me, which at that point was something I forbade everyone but Sneak to do.
Apparently it went both ways; he felt okay with crying in front of me and also admitting his grief and horror of the after-effects of dying. (His memory is still really messed up, but it was godawful back then.) We could talk to each other, and comfort each other.
You can imagine how furious I was when I realized I was gay for him. Not only could I not get away from him, he could also feel a lot of thoughts and feelings coming off me, so he knew EXACTLY what was going on, which was a special level of mortifying. Sure, he politely ignored it as best as he could, but it was still there, the pink elephant in the room.
A couple months after that… well, some stuff happened, and hubby found himself really questioning his own sexuality. He came onto me like a freight train in heat, and I told him to get his head on straight and then stormed off and smashed crockery in Sneak’s room for a while. (Did I mention I REALLY didn’t know how to manage emotions back then?)
Hubby took a week sorting himself out, where I tried to act as repressedly platonic as possible. Then, much to my surprise, he confessed his love and asked me out. Much to my own surprise, I said yes and admitted the feelings were reciprocal.
I figured that with two traumatized people, neither of whom had ever been attracted to a guy before, we were doomed to flaming failure and would murder each other within a week. But that was seven years ago, and saying yes to him was one of the smartest decisions I ever made in my life. He has been my rock, my love, and my friend. He has been with me through all the hard times and he’s never faltered, and his smile is just as sunny now as it was back then.
For him, I overcame my rape history. Because of him, I’m able to say with all truth that those triggers have been laid to rest, and sex is a fun, loving, enjoyable experience now. I have taken him to Fiji, New Zealand, and Boston, and I hope to keep taking him wonderful new places.
You make a common manosphere mistake of assuming feminism is responsible for sexual liberation and ignoring how technology, particularly birth control, secularization and the realities of modern capitalism shape our lives.
You’re obsessed with your baseless claim that feminism is somehow to blame for “low status men” being denied the lady parts paraded before them, which is pretty awful. You really kick it up a notch with your absurd argument that your pet peeve is the key source of the anti-progressive right-wing rage of alienated lower class white men. How about taking a look at class, religion and race, all of which conservative establishment exploits in order unite fiscal and conservatives, and fire up their base.
The misogynic fury over women’s economic gains and social independence isn’t born out of sexual frustration. How do you explain all the misogyny of men in relationships and domestic violence? Are you not aware that there are millions of sex workers in the US? Any decent argument for the legalization of prostitution should evolve around the safety of sex workers, not placating allegedly sex-starved unattractive men’s rage.
That’s such a wonderful story, LBT. I’m so very happy for you and your husband. 😀
“. It is amazing what even the temporary attention of a vaguely attractive woman can do to a man’s priorities….”
Dude, you need a hobby,seriously. Or maybe you should spend more time with your friends or Family. Amazingly, there ARE ways to make your life meaningful, even if you don’t have a beautiful, underage girlfriend.
To recap; abusive behaviour is not acceptable just because it helps you get laid.
“…These are just a few examples. How do they make me feel? Fine. I was just acting in a way that asserted myself and was having a good time being drunk and Loose…”
This proves to me that you’re not only an asshole, but you’re also an idiot. You cannot make any valid observations about human behaviour based on a few interactions you’ve had with women which all invovled alcohol.
So you baged three women? bravo. At the end of the day you’re still horrible persen.
Yup.
RE: scott1139
I figured it might be worthy, since like I said, I refuse to believe that men acting like assholes to get laid is a totally okay thing. I refuse to let assholes like undfreeland make me believe that my gender is incapable of decency, and that getting laid is a justification for bad behavior.
Seriously, it’s like orion all over again, only with way less lolz.
Contrapangloss: We must observe the sacred right of feminine pining after LBT, in his happily married to an awesome guy state.
Pine! Everyone, PINE!!
Hey, I’m happily married to an awesome gal. Where’s MY pining, you heterosexists?
(Great story LBT)
Part of the problem here is that these guys see a physically attractive man who seems to be popular with women and think “douchebag”, regardless of the man’s actual behavior. So of course they think that all men who’re popular with women are assholes, and every time they see a good looking man walking around with a woman who seems to like him it just confirms their ass-backwards theory.
Talking to guys like undfreeland probably helps to confirm their sense of righteousness too. Unfortunately none of these guys ever talk to the good-looking, friendly guys who they’re so jealous of, a. because they’re too jealous and b. because why would those guys want to talk to some hostile weirdo who keeps glaring at them and muttering about what a douchebag they are? Thus, safe in their little bubble of fellow angry assholes, the theory remains intact.
WWTH,
The skeptic/atheist community is plagued by anti-social justice, Whiny entitled, Randian Douchebros who think that they’re intellectually superior than everyone else while neither being bright or good without gods. They’re the worst. They don’t logic so good, they have the manners of a rabid weasel, they’re morally bankrupt and they’re extremely full of themselves.
In other words, they’re a boon to the Pat Robertson’s of the world who want people to think of atheists as being untrustworthy, arrogant fools. They seem to be working full time to fulfill the stereotype.
The odd thing is that in meatspace most of the atheists I’ve met have been perfectly reasonable people. I’ve never encountered the rabid sexist/racist/smug shitweasel variety except online, so I’m not sure if they only act that way online or if I’ve just been exceptionally lucky.
@shiraz, I never “complained” about women not having sex with anybody.
cassandrakitty,
I think they find each other online, group polarization happens and they end up being loud and obnoxious. Irl, I hope there are not many of them.
RE: cassandrakitty
Part of the problem here is that these guys see a physically attractive man who seems to be popular with women and think “douchebag”, regardless of the man’s actual behavior.
I personally suspect that, in my country and age group at least, there are a lot of twee nerdboys who just can’t let go of the idea that they’re the Oppressed Noble Outcasts, fighting the Eeeeevil Popular Kids. Insert a couple Geek Social Fallacies, a chunk of disappointed entitlement, and you get some nerdboys who are mad that they didn’t get the cheerleader and never grew the fuck up about it.
(I might have a chip on my shoulder, since my rapist was of this type. He considered himself a Nice Guy, while he definitely would’ve seen someone like my husband as an Asshole, on account of hubby being more athletic than intellectual and having the ‘wrong’ hobbies.)
undfreeland,
It is implied in everything you have written. Give up the pretense. You tipped your hand.
LBT,
Nope, that describes to a “T” the guy I referred to upthread.