Sometimes I hunt the misogyny, sometimes it wanders up right up to me and says hello.
Today’s post is an example of the latter. Below, a slightly edited comment that someone left for me this morning. It’s a response to a post of mine about a dreadful post on Return of Kings in which a fellow calling himself Billy Chubbs argued, with absolutely no evidence, that a recent high school shooter was driven to murder because of his “probable sexual frustration,” Chubbs went on to argue that young women are “selfish” because they don’t have sex with guys they’re not attracted to.
Anyway, my new commenter – posting under the name “whogoesthere?” – thinks that I and the other commenters here were being too hard on Chubbs’ “very good argument.” And so he deposited this giant rant, which in many ways is even scarier than Chubbs’ original.
He’s a tad verbose, so I’ve trimmed out some stuff that isn’t relevant to his general, er, thesis. And I’ve also taken the liberty of adding a few paragraph breaks and bolding a few of the best (i.e. worst) bits.
When men don’t get the women they want they turn to violence.
Not a good start here, because this just isn’t true. In this case, the phrase “not all men” is, for once, appropriate. Most men don’t get violent when they’re turned down.
This is established all over the animal kingdom and offers a good example about how it applies to humans, that snotty girls who keep their sexual treasures to all but a few males cause the remaining males to snap. …
Animals do all sorts of things that humans don’t do, and we can’t always learn from their behavior or assume that it relates to our own lives.
Or maybe the Evo Psych crew is just looking at the wrong animals. When banana slugs can’t find a partner to have sex with, they simply fertilize themselves. There’s a lesson here, I think, for the angry incels of the world: you can’t always get what you want, and when you can’t, sex with yourself is better than murder.
High school is a massively sexually charged winner take all environment. … Today’s high school is basically an ongoing audition for a porno video and the guys and girls who don’t make the cut can only sit at home and masturbate.
wat
It’s demeaning and hits a major blow to a person’s sexual identity to not be invited to frolic with the beautiful people.
Somehow most people, regardless of gender, manage to survive even if they’re not frolicking with Charlize Theron and/or Channing Tatum.
I’m sorry but almost no men go on wild shooting rampages if they have a beautiful female in their keep.
In their keep?! Also, no. Charles Manson was surrounded by beautiful young women. Yet he orchestrated multiple grisly murders.
The only guys that do so are bank robbers and thieves, generally guys at a later stage of life more fixated on money.
wat
Human beings naturally assess the amount of sex going around them and judge themselves in relationship to the amount and type of sex others are getting.
You know, you can’t actually tell how much and what kind of sex someone is having just by looking at them. Yes, there will always be people in the world having more sex with you. And some of these people are having sex with people you would probably like to have sex with. There are also people who are smarter than you, funnier than you, who can play chess or kickbox better than you, who have hundreds or thousands of times more money than you do.
That’s life. Life isn’t fair.
This makes sense because from a reproductive standpoint sex is coveted, and sex with beautiful thin, young women are the most coveted. Being the first to spoil these young women sexually is viewed reproductively as a guarantee of parentage, thus this is why males instinctively covet and burn with passion for these females.
Ah, yes, it was only a matter of time until the creepy pedo-justifying Evo Psych assfacts made their appearance. Not all men “burn with passion” in their pants for virginal high school girls.
This is why we have “morality” which is in its essence is a promise not to flaunt or indulge in sex moreso than the lowest man or woman in your tribe. This is what is meant when people say “morality went out the window.” They mean someone with more sexual prowess is openly indulging in sex and broadcasting it to stimulate the jealousy of the underclasses.
I’m pretty sure that’s not what people mean when they say “morality went out the window.”
This teen killed people cause he thought that beautiful girls were out of reach. The high school environment merely rubbed it in his face. Yes drugs to treat ADD might’ve eroded many of the impulse control functions in the teen, but the rage against the high school was still the gasoline.
[citation needed]
He might’ve had a picture or two taken with a girl next to him, but oftentimes those high school girls lie and simply eat up the male’s offerings without granting sexual access, but grant it to a random stud.
How dare young women choose who to have sex with, and who not to!
I’m not saying the girl he killed deserved it, it’s only that when you are in that frame of mind you cannot tell who is having more sex than others and you simply fill in the gaps with rage.
Wait, so if she had turned him down he would have been justified in killing her?
The beautiful girl simply represented everything that the teen couldn’t get. The steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.
Yeah, I think you’re confusing high school with porn again. His rampage lasted roughly a minute and a half. He shot her because she was there.
All the other theories posted on this site seem comical, self-righteous and weirdly off-point. It’s like you’re assessing the situation as an asexual senior citizen or righteous prude.
Not a lot of “prudes” here. Just people who find the “women need to have sex with ‘nice guys’ or these ‘nice gys’ will kill you all” to be a somewhat problematic argument.
Generally men want sex with young thin beauties who validate their existence.
Some men do. But most men, among those who are sexually attracted to women, aren’t as neurotically fixated on this small slice of the female demographic – women in their teens and early twenties who are somehow both virginal and sexually “wild” – as manosphere men seem to be. And most people don’t base their entire self-worth on whether or not they’re having sex with beautiful people.
Some men prefer women older than them. Some like women who are fat. Plenty of men don’t fixate on a particular physical type and are attracted to all sorts of different women. Believe it or not, whogoesthere, there are lots of men who are more interested in what’s in a woman’s head than they are in whether or not she matches up with some particular checklist of physical attributes.
If society removes all of the social pathways to attaining such a beauty, such as making prostitution illegal, increasing shame for men who seek sex, rewarding females and males called manginas who identify and mock the sex seekers and so on… this will lead to depression in men and all of the behaviors surrounding it, including shootings. Sounds pretty much like a logical line of reasoning to me.
And that’s the problem. It’s not actually a logical line of reasoning at all. It’s more like a sort of blackmail.
Men don’t kill women because they can’t have “the steady love and wild sex of a valuable young girl.” Sometimes men kill women because they feel entitled to have sex with these “valuable young girls” and become bitter and enraged when they can’t find a “valuable young girl” who agrees with them on this particular point.
It’s not the lack of “sexual access” that’s the problem. It’s the notion that your desire for “sexual access” means more than the right of that person to say “no.” It’s the notion that society has done you wrong because you can’t (at least at the moment) get laid. It’s the idea that your desire to have sex with a particular kind of woman somehow trumps the right of other people to live.
I mean, what the fucking fuck.
Oh, by the way, there’s no evidence that the shooter in question – Karl Halverson Pierson – was motivated by sexual frustration. His intended target was the school librarian, who is also the school’s debate coach. Pierson was obsessed with debate, and had some sort of grudge against the coach.
RE: Shiraz
Translation — women enjoy being treated like shit. Women be crazy! That’s why to get with them, you have to treat them badly! It all makes sense now!
And this makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY. Yes, my rapist used me as fuckmeat two to three times a week, while hubby doesn’t. So of course my rapist “got laid” more often in the short-term. However, the difference is, it usually ended with us crying in the fetal position, while sex with hubby usually ends with grinning and snuggling.
I assure you, I didn’t ‘enjoy’ being treated like shit. Why do you think I made my rapist cry and stop believing in the concept of love?
This myth needs to fucking die. If you’d rather rape someone three times a week than have consensual sex once a week or two, that’s YOUR problem, not feminism’s.
Lea, I opened by saying that I do not believe these violent outburst are due to sexual frustration. I believe it does contribute to depression and not wanting to support progress.
I would not wish violence perpetuated on women, and I do not believe the men who would be alleviated by legal prostitution (German style, brother based with security and legal protections in place). Further I do not think incels are so because women believe them to be violent. They are just ugly and socially inept. No one has a right to sex, but if there are woman or men who are willing to offer it for sale in a safe environment, I encourage that.
Anyone calling dating a “market” needs to get their heads out of their asses. A “market” is a place where you exchange money for goods. Dating does not work that way. If you are complaining that you can’t get enough interest in sex and relationships with you, maybe it’s because you don’t see other people as equal partners with their own preferences, desires and agency. Maybe the problem is not that women have standards. Maybe the problem is that your attitude is repugnant. No, you don’t understand women better than women do. No, talking about people as a monolith does not make you realistic. It makes you a solipsistic asshole.
“I like to think the dating market exists and works like this because I say it is objective, and I won’t bother to address to your counterexamples because I claim to have anecdotal evidence”.
Also by the way you talk about the whole issue, it is quite clear that you’re not great at gauging the level of own or others’ assholery, so I’m gonna guess you’re a douche full time and not just with the women that you claim are so attracted to it.
@LBT
“This myth needs to fucking die. If you’d rather rape someone three times a week than have consensual sex once a week or two, that’s YOUR problem, not feminism’s.”
I hate that fucking myth too. For all the reason’s you stated above (jedi hug if you want it).
Troll, how much do you have to hate men to think lack of sex makes males murderers? Oh, and when you posted above that you treated the “most attractive women” you allegedly slept with like crap, what did that entail on your part? Did you feel guilty after, or did you shrug and say, “Well, she was asking for it.”
@undfreeland I do believe that you were an ass towards a woman, but the rest of the “evidence” or whatever you’re calling this stuff you write is less believable. Did you even read the “supposed counter examples” or just proceed on the assumption that they’re wrong?
Any pleas of “sleep with misogynists to fix them!” is an offensive position to take. No. We don’t want to. Are we supposed to discuss feminist concepts during sex to teach them that we are human beings?
@Lea – very well put.
Oh…you believe.
…and you’re sorry ass opinion about why women don’t fuck these assholes trumps women telling you why these guys aren’t attractive because why again?
Oh that’s right.
You’re a fucking sexist trying to pass himself off as an ally.
Fuck you.
Unfreeland,
Are you not aware that sex workers can and do turn down clients? I’m for legalizing sex work but not for the purposes of appeasing incels. Making sex work legal doesn’t mean there’s a free for all where any man can have sex any sex worker he wants.
Also, I thought women were all willing to sleep with rich guys? The time of the most attractive and skilled sex workers doesn’t come cheap. If a man is having trouble getting laid because of his low socio-economic status, he’s not necessarily going to find an extremely attractive sex worker he can afford.
Never mind that the premise that legalized sex will get rid of misogynistic violence is wrong in the first place. Men kill women they’ve had sex with all the time. Three women a day in the US are killed by current or ex partners.
Hey guys!
Did you know that when you break a woman’s self esteem down systematically, abuse her and disregard her agency, you can use her as often as you like and she’ll be too broken and scared to stop you?
That totes means that women like being treated like shit, because we all know that what women like is proven by how often you can use her body for your own pleasure regardless of her feelings.
Let’s not mention that prison rape and child molestation works the same way. Let’s just pretend that men’s evil acts are justified so long as those men get access to the bodies of other people, as long as those people are women.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you.
^ Oops. I meant legalized sex work not legalized sex!
Here’s something else that tells me you’re not an ally:
You know who needs sex work legalized?
Sex workers.
Sex workers need the protections of unions, law enforcement etc. They should not have to exist in the shadows where they can be exploited and abused. They’re safety is far more important that assholes getting access to their bodies.
You’re claim that misogyny will go away when men can get all the access to women’s bodies they can afford to pay for is straight up evil as shit. If there is an ounce of sincerity to your claim that you care about the treatment of women, you need to leave this thread and go rethink your life right now.
*than*
It’s also really getting up my nose how undfreeland keeps using the term ‘the dregs,’ ‘low-status men,’ when he’s very specifically speaking about the socially inept, the poor, and the ugly. That describes a lot of my friends who are wonderful people! Hell, I’m poor and used to be socially inept, and… well, nobody’s to everyone’s taste. Hubby thinks I’m hot and only his opinion on the subject matters.
Note that my friends and I are NOT raging anti-feminists.
RE: WWTH
The time of the most attractive and skilled sex workers doesn’t come cheap.
I know, right? I knew a couple sex workers in NZ, where it’s legal. The money one of them made for a weekend completely blew my mind! Made me wish I had the constitution for sex work. (Unfortunately, it’s the absolute #1 worst possible job I could have.)
@Lea AGREE AGREE AGREE. I had a hard time with what to feel about legalizing sex work. I mean, where it’s legal, human trafficking is also a huge problem and there’s violence against sex workers and all sorts of issues of financial power imbalance between sex workers and their johns… But yeah, safety issues WRT sex workers is most important.
Also I work in the same shared office space as Red Umbrella Project.
This is part of GGG’s plan, IIRC. I wonder if whogoesthere is one of his fans (can’t be GGG himself, he’s not nearly angry enough)
Shockingly, homophobia and misogyny tend to cluster. I’ve even seen a decent argument that homophobia, particularly when it targets gay men, IS misogyny.
Which is one of my my favorite kinds of horror. See also: The Last Winter, The Ruins (the book).
I lol’d. No one paints a more terrifying portrait of men than their self-appointed defenders.
I vote for bowerbirds. Build me a fancy house or don’t bother, boys!
@racnad
Those “statistics” are comedically made-up piffle, you should really come to terms with your addiction to bullshit.
Is it me, or are these trolls just super-skeevy in this thread?
So, I guess undfreeland is saying no social progress unless men get laid? Is that what zir argument is boiling down to?
Bullshit.
Bullshit.
Misogyny. And also bullshit.
Yeah, that situation doesn’t suck for women at all /s
They have mentally ill people in other countries, and yet somehow manage to avoid weekly mass murders. I’d venture to suggest that mental illness isn’t the issue here.
The solution you’re looking for is called “feminism”. The difference is, we don’t see male entitlement as inevitable or understandable – we call it out as the bullshit it is.
I goddamn well can expect basic human decency from everyone.
Maybe we can also throw some virgins in a volcano. I mean, as long as we’re offering women up as sacrificial lambs.
(P.S. You’re gross)
And what is with this one-dimensional scale of human attractiveness? I’ll bet if you put me and kittehs or cassandrakitty in the same room, we would have completely different thoughts on what makes an attractive dude! It’s almost like different people have different tastes!
It looks to me as a survival technique, they know they’ll be banned quickly if they’re to overt with slurs or hartred LOOK I CAN EVO PSYCH
However, I kinda like it when they call each other on their bullshit.
racnad:
See this? All these sentences require citations.
But are they, though? Are sexist douchebags really having more sex than men who aren’t sexist douchebags. You keep making this assumption that’s not really based on reality.
Nope. People are attracted to who thy are attracted to. Everyone. No one needs to reconsider their sexual attractions because you think women are attracted to the “wrong kind” of people.
Ew. Spoken like a true Nice Guy ™
Ok, so contrast this with the last paragraph of your last post. That attitude? That “women have to reconsider the men they put in the friendzone” thing? That’s the attitude that feminists are talking about when we talk about the “friendzone.” The idea that the man a woman is not having sex with is more deserving of sex with that woman than the man she is having sex with, and that the woman is “wrong” for having sex with the “wrong” instead of the Nice Guy ™. It had absolutely nothing to do with desiring sex and everything to do with feeling entitled to sex.
That’s not entitlement. That’s sexual attraction.
God, I wish I had your wit.
I see Racnad has graced us with his presence. Racnad, after reading the OP, are you still going to argue that male entitlement isn’t a thing?
Also, fuck you and your friendzone bullshit. And fuck you for trying to restart that very painful “examine who you’re attracted to” argument. I hope you get banned for that.
@unfreeland
Do you actually listen to yourself? In these two sentences you highlight “the sexual non-existence of low status men” as some great injustice and social problem that must be vigorously addressed, then dismissively claim that any woman’s lack of success at dating is a personal failure caused by her lack of effort, unless it’s because she’s unattractive which simply makes her unworthy of any consideration at all.
And what is with this one-dimensional scale of human attractiveness?
As with economics, you need to reduce human variation to a single variable to build a model on it. As with bad economics, you then use that model to make sweeping pronouncements about what people are, rather than bounded predictions on how they might act in certain limited situations.
Granting men access to sex doesn’t stop them from hating and harming women. Do you know how many women are murdered by husbands and male partners?
I can’t believe we keep having to say this.