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a voice for men a woman is always to blame antifeminism antifeminist women erin pizzey evil women excusing abuse FemRAs GirlWritesWhat imaginary oppression men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA paul elam playing the victim rape rape culture warren farrell

Voices of Hatred: A look at the noxious views of six of the speakers at A Voice for Men's upcoming conference

Curious about the views of the people scheduled to speak at A Voice for Men’s “Men’s Issues” conference next week? Here’s a little video guide. CONTENT WARNING: Domestic violence, rape, incest.

If you’d like to have their quotes in writing for future reference, here’s a transcript of the quotes used in the video. I’ve linked to the source of each quote (or to posts of mine that discuss the quotes in greater detail). Enjoy!

Mike Buchanan has said:

I believe girls learn at a young age that whining gets them what they want, especially from over-indulgent parents who might later wonder why their daughters became Entitlement Princesses. Inevitably these girls continue whining into adolescence and adulthood because they continue to get what they want. It’s up to men to break the cycle …

Men living in houses with cellars can put a sign on the cellar door, ‘The Whine Cellar’, and politely direct whining women towards it. In houses without a cellar, the smallest room in the house – or possibly the garden shed – could be designated ‘The Whine Box’.

Mike Buchanan is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Mike Buchanan is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Buchanan’s quote

Stefan Molyneux has said:

Women who choose the assholes will fucking end this race. They will fucking end this human race, if we don’t start holding them a-fucking-ccountable. … Women who choose assholes guarantee child abuse. Women who choose assholes guarantee criminality, sociopathy. Politicians, all the cold-hearted jerks who run the world came out of the vaginas of women who married assholes.

And I don’t know how to make the world a better place without holding women accountable for choosing assholes. Your dad was an asshole because your mother chose him. Because it works on so many women. If “asshole” wasn’t a great reproductive strategy it would have been gone long ago. Women keep that black bastard flame alive. They cup their hands around it, they protect it with their bodies. They keep the evil of the species going by continually choosing these guys.

If being an asshole didn’t get women, there would be no assholes left. If women chose nice guys over assholes we would have a glorious and peaceful world in one generation. Women determine the personality traits of the men because women choose who to have sex with, and who to have children with, and who to expose those children to. …

Your dad is who he is fundamentally because your mother was willing to fuck him and have you. Willing and eager to fuck the monster. Stop fucking monsters and we get a great world. Keep fucking monsters, we get catastrophes, we get war, we get nuclear weapons, we get national debt, we get incarcerations … Women worship at the feet of the devil and wonder why the world is evil. And then you know what they say? We’re victims!

Stefan Molyneux is a scheduled speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men.

Stefan Molyneux is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Molyneux’s quote. NOTE: The text above is a more complete version of the slightly truncated quote used in the video, which was edited for clarity, for length, and to remove some repetition.

Erin Pizzey has said:

If you’re referring to Paul’s statement that many or most women fantasize about being taken, I’m sorry but that’s the truth. That doesn’t mean they want to be raped, but it’s a fantasy I think almost all women have. And I think he went on to say that feminists like Andrea Dworkin who were and are so obsessed with rape are really projecting their own unconscious sexual frustration because men don’t give them enough attention. Andrea was a very sad lonely woman like this–I didn’t know her but I knew of her, and I knew Susan Browmiller and you can just read her stuff to see it there.

Erin Pizzey is a scheduled speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Erin Pizzey is a voice of hatred

SOURCE of Pizzey’s quote. NOTE: The text above is a complete version of the slightly truncated quote used in the video, which was edited for clarity.

Karen Straughan has written:

I used to live under a young couple with a baby. I’d listen as she followed him from room to room upstairs, stomping, slamming things, throwing things, screaming. After about an hour, he’d eventually hit her, and everything would go quiet. An hour after that, they’d be out with the baby in the stroller, looking perfectly content with each other.

A man I know who has experience with men in abusive relationships would get his clients to answer a questionnaire. Things like, “after the violence, did you have sex?” “If so, how would you rate the sex?” 100% of men in reciprocally abusive relationships said “yes” to the first, and “scorching” to the second.

He also posited that the much-quoted cycle of violence–the build-up, the explosion, the honeymoon period–correlates with foreplay, orgasm and post-coital bliss.

Erin Pizzey called it “consensual violence”, and said in the main, that was the type she’d see at her shelter. It is also the type that results in the most severe injuries in women, surprise surprise, likely because our “never EVER hit a woman” mentality has those men waiting until they completely lose control of their emotions before giving their women what they’re demanding.

Karen Straughan is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Karen Straughan is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Straughan’s quote.

Warren Farrell has said:

The worst aspect of dating from the perspective of many men is how dating can feel to a man like robbery by social custom …

Evenings of paying to be rejected can feel like a male version of date rape.

If a man ignoring a woman’s verbal “no” is committing date rape, then a woman who says “no” with her verbal language but “yes” with her body language is committing date fraud. …

We have forgotten that before we began calling this date rape and date fraud, we called it exciting.

Somehow, women’s romance novels are not titled He Stopped When I Said “No”. They are, though, titled Sweet Savage Love, in which the woman rejects the hand of her gentler lover who saves her from the rapist and marries the man who repeatedly and savagely rapes her. …

It is important that a woman’s “noes” be respected and her “yeses” be respected. And it is also important when her nonverbal “yeses” … conflict with those verbal “noes” that the man not be put in jail for choosing the “yes” over the “no.” He might just be trying to become her fantasy.

Warren Farrell is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Warren Farrell is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Farrell’s quote.

Warren Farrell has said:

Incest is like a magnifying glass. In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of the relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma. …

When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200, the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. …

[M]illions of people who are now refraining from touching, holding, and … caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t.

Warren Farrell is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Warren Farrell is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Farrell’s quote. I have removed a word that appears in the original interview but that Farrell insists he did not say.

Paul Elam has said:

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess.

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong.

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Paul Elam is the central organizer of the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit, and the founder of A Voice for Men

Paul Elam is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Elam’s quote.

For a detailed look at the homophobia of Anne Cools, another speaker at the conference, see here.

Big thanks to everyone who helped with the video!

 

 

 

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sparky
sparky
10 years ago

elizabeth, you’ve come on to a site that’s all about mocking misogyny and say you used to be a feminist, but you’ve become “disillusioned” with feminism because it “causes arguments between genders.” Then you hold up this comment thread as an example of all the “arguments between genders” that feminism causes.

Did you read the OP, elizabeth? Because that is what this specific argument is about. It’s about what speakers at an MRA conference have said about women, and some people trying to defend those comments. The comments themselves are indefensible, but they are trying.

Essentially, you have one side – the feminists – saying that no, women don’t deserve to be beaten and raped; women don’t secretly want to be beaten and raped; women are not whiny children; and women are not responsible for all the evils in the world. And on the other side of the argument who are defending these views.

This is the argument that is going on. And I ask you, how on earth is feminism supposed to be tweaked so that people who believe what those speakers in the OP believe have feelings of love and peace for us? How do you perpetuate love and peace among people who don’t even believe your human?

And you’re whining about us being rude and unfair?

bunnybunny
10 years ago

Ideally the movement needs to be tweaked to perpetuate love+peace between people of all genders.

Yeah, oppression isn’t a big deal. The anti-feminist love+peace fantasy is basically a “nice” way of wishing women would just shut the fuck up.

dustedeste
dustedeste
10 years ago

Lol, elizabeth thinks gender is binary. Please, all, join me in the sacred ritual of pointing and laughing.

bunnybunny
10 years ago

The issue with egalitarianism is that it necessarily fosters an attitude of “what about the menz,” in that it denies the reality of there being a privileged oppressor class benefiting from the disenfranchisement of the oppressed (in this case, specifically in terms of gender, though obviously there are numerous instances of intersection with other areas of privilege and oppression). So no, that’s bullshit.

Just going to reiterate dustedeste’s comment here for elizabeth, who seemed to miss it the first time she asked BUT WHAT ABOUT TEH MEN?

brooked
brooked
10 years ago

Racnad

male on female violence, because men don’t want to admit they were attacked by women. A man seeking medical help for injuries caused by women is likely to say it was a sports injury or that he fell off a ladder.

CITATION NEEDED Do you have proof that men lie more than women about domestic violence-related injuries?

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

elizabeth: …You know all feminists aren’t cis women, right?

however I think feminism causes arguments and hate between genders,

Why yes, feminists do indeed argue with people, like the MRAs in the OP,
who apparently believe that women aren’t human beings. And indeed, feminists and women get a lot of hate from misogynists.

That’s why they’re called misogynists. Because they hate women.

How exactly are we supposed to cause people who hate us to love us? And why is it feminists responsibility to change to appease the haters, and not the other way around?

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Elizabeth,

Are you under the impression that all the regular commenters are women? Because lots of men do comment here. The owner of this blog is a man.

We aren’t arguing with the MRA trolls because they’re men. We’re arguing with them because they are misogynistic trolls.

Seconding what Fromafar said. My being feminist isn’t causing arguments with men I know in meat space. I’ve gotten into it with my right wing uncle a few times but that’s it.

Anarchonist
10 years ago

@elizabeth:

In other words: “being tolerant means you must tolerate my intolerance!”

NO.

No, no.

No.

Nobody is required to be nice to bigoted assholes who want to limit other peoples’ rights. Women are constantly being told that they must be “nice” to men, even when said men want to limit their rights in society. Fuck that noise.

It just causes arguments between genders.

WTF? No, it’ doesn’t. The reason the Woodys on this thread are being chewed out is because they are assholes. not because they’re men. Get a grip.

I’m a man. So are several other posters here. David himself is a man, for God’s sake! What is the “argument between genders” here? If you think MRAs and misogynists stand for the entire male gender, you have a real shitty opinion on men.

If you really don’t get why it’s called feminism:

The reason it’s called feminism is because women are the oppressed class. Men are not. In order to get an equal society, we must lift women from the oppression to the level of bodily autonomy, equal pay, and so forth. You know, where men already are.

Men don’t need to be included in a movement for equality, because we’re not oppressed. The decent men of this world support feminism all the same, because they agree that women should get to be equal to men legally and socially, not because we need to “gain” something for ourselves or to be the center of attention. Men are being catered to everywhere. Let feminism be one thing that doesn’t require women to be “nice” to men for the sole reason of being men.

Ire
Ire
10 years ago

@elizabeth

The name is gendered because the problems it addresses ARE gendered. Wage gap, rape, domestic violence, access to education… A lot of these affect women disproportionably and are therefore in need of special address. Feminism is there to address these problems for women… sometimes it even helps men as a side effect, but its focus is women because women are subject to systematic discrimination.

I’ve always thought there were TWO premises you needed to accept for feminism and if one of these seems weird to you… well, then feminism is not for you and I don’t know which reality you are living in.

Premise one: Men and women deserve equal rights.

Premise two: To one degree or another women are not getting these equal rights across the world.

We don’t have to deny that we have it better in some places and worse in others… just accept that it’s not entirely okay everywhere. I really don’t know what’s so radical about this.

elizabeth
elizabeth
10 years ago

No I’m ok dustedeste, but I just thought that was a typical example of the kind of way people feel in and around feminism.

I think there is unfair treatment and discrimination of people in general, female, male, or the other sexes. And imo the epitome is for all life on earth to be treated well and fairly and good. If there is more unfair treatment of people in a certain gender then I think that should be dealt with more. Some people are privileged, men/women/others, and I don’t think it’s bad if people have a good life, i think it’s bad that some people don’t, so rather than focusing on some people being privileged, I think the focus should be on some people being unprivileged and how to tackle that.

cloudiah
10 years ago

I’m a feminist, or at least I was. But I’m totally disillusioned with it now. It just causes arguments between genders. As you can see in this comment thread. Ideally the movement needs to be tweaked to perpetuate love+peace between people of all genders. Then I’ll support fmism/mfism (those would be fairer titles, implying both men and women should be treated well, +they are fun and catchy).

fmism & mfism are “fun and catchy”? That is seriously the most hilarious thing I’ve heard all day, so thanks for that I guess.

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
10 years ago

@ Elizabeth

” so rather than focusing on some people being privileged (men), I think the focus should be on some people being unprivileged (women) and how to tackle that (elevate women, eliminate discrimination).”

So, feminism, then? You do realize you just described feminism (and social justice causes in general)?

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

elizabeth:

I think the focus should be on some people being unprivileged and how to tackle that.

Which is exactly what social justice and human rights movements like feminists is doing.

See, the problem is, sometimes people who are privileged don’t like to give up or share that privilege. So you get people like the MRAs in the OP. Who tie themselves in knots trying to make ways in which women are oppressed, and everything bad in the world, the fault of women.

dustedeste
dustedeste
10 years ago

Ugh. I don’t have the patience to teach some willfully ignorant egalitarian even the barest bones of the meaning of the term “privilege,” and frankly, it’s not my responsibility to do so, so fuck that noise. Anyone else who wants to enlighten our little friend, be my guest; I’m going to go get shit done, as it is my day off.

*facepalms away*

Ire
Ire
10 years ago

@elizabeth

Errrm… this is exactly what feminism does? It tackles the unprivileged!

And it’s not the only movement for crying out loud! There are movements for racism, ablism, classicism… all the ways in which people can be fucked over by the system SHOULD be addressed… feminism is just one among a myriad of social justice movements. How is this news to everyone?

Look my city only just gave me the right to abortion a couple of years ago. People in the provinces STILL don’t have it. Girls are STILL being arrested or driven from their homes or subject to horrible clandestine procedures because it is still not legal everywhere. I NEED feminism.

A general movement for equality won’t serve me. I need a specific movement that tackles my specific problems… feminism! You know what I also need? A specific movement to tackle the specific problems of the indigenous groups in my country… this movement also exists! Different tools for different problems… sometimes they even aid each other!

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

How can you tackle discrimination against unprivileged groups without asking privileged groups to acknowledge that privilege and deal with slowly losing that privilege? You can’t do it.

Bostonian
Bostonian
10 years ago

Entitled jerk fussing like a baby about not being allowed to be a violent jerk? Such a surprise! (not really)

cloudiah
10 years ago

Oh poor little woodyred. How about we let him post if he (a) contributes to the discussion constructively, and (b) includes a funny animal video.

Oh never mind — he’ll never do (a), which means we have to supply our own funny animal videos!

So…

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
10 years ago

“I’m a fmismist/mfismist.”

How would you even pronounce that?

Diana Adans
Diana Adans
10 years ago

Feminism doesn’t segregate the genders, the genders are already segregated (not by feminism). You can’t fix that imbalance without addressing the imbalance existence in the first place, to claim otherwise is absurd.

I don’t really understand why people are making such obviously false statements.

Tracy
10 years ago

Nooo! woodyred posted enough videos, one of which I can’t get through (I’m trying, guys). I vote for a happy kitty haiku.

fromafar2013
fromafar2013
10 years ago

@ Tracy

You’re actually watching them? Are they even of substance or just vapid rhetoric?

Tracy
10 years ago

@Elizabeth you could make a similar argument about any social justice movement. Some people react against social justice movements. That is not the fault of the social justice movement, generally. In fact, the people who react against social justice movements are most often a large part of why the social justice movement exists and was necessary in the first place.

contrapangloss
10 years ago

Fhum-is-mist slash muif-is-mist is the most fun/closest I cold figure.

Fhum should be pronounced like trying to make the sound of a freshly lit propane grill, while muif should sound kind of like a cross between a meow and a seal barking.

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