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a voice for men a woman is always to blame antifeminism antifeminist women erin pizzey evil women excusing abuse FemRAs GirlWritesWhat imaginary oppression men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA paul elam playing the victim rape rape culture warren farrell

Voices of Hatred: A look at the noxious views of six of the speakers at A Voice for Men's upcoming conference

Curious about the views of the people scheduled to speak at A Voice for Men’s “Men’s Issues” conference next week? Here’s a little video guide. CONTENT WARNING: Domestic violence, rape, incest.

If you’d like to have their quotes in writing for future reference, here’s a transcript of the quotes used in the video. I’ve linked to the source of each quote (or to posts of mine that discuss the quotes in greater detail). Enjoy!

Mike Buchanan has said:

I believe girls learn at a young age that whining gets them what they want, especially from over-indulgent parents who might later wonder why their daughters became Entitlement Princesses. Inevitably these girls continue whining into adolescence and adulthood because they continue to get what they want. It’s up to men to break the cycle …

Men living in houses with cellars can put a sign on the cellar door, ‘The Whine Cellar’, and politely direct whining women towards it. In houses without a cellar, the smallest room in the house – or possibly the garden shed – could be designated ‘The Whine Box’.

Mike Buchanan is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Mike Buchanan is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Buchanan’s quote

Stefan Molyneux has said:

Women who choose the assholes will fucking end this race. They will fucking end this human race, if we don’t start holding them a-fucking-ccountable. … Women who choose assholes guarantee child abuse. Women who choose assholes guarantee criminality, sociopathy. Politicians, all the cold-hearted jerks who run the world came out of the vaginas of women who married assholes.

And I don’t know how to make the world a better place without holding women accountable for choosing assholes. Your dad was an asshole because your mother chose him. Because it works on so many women. If “asshole” wasn’t a great reproductive strategy it would have been gone long ago. Women keep that black bastard flame alive. They cup their hands around it, they protect it with their bodies. They keep the evil of the species going by continually choosing these guys.

If being an asshole didn’t get women, there would be no assholes left. If women chose nice guys over assholes we would have a glorious and peaceful world in one generation. Women determine the personality traits of the men because women choose who to have sex with, and who to have children with, and who to expose those children to. …

Your dad is who he is fundamentally because your mother was willing to fuck him and have you. Willing and eager to fuck the monster. Stop fucking monsters and we get a great world. Keep fucking monsters, we get catastrophes, we get war, we get nuclear weapons, we get national debt, we get incarcerations … Women worship at the feet of the devil and wonder why the world is evil. And then you know what they say? We’re victims!

Stefan Molyneux is a scheduled speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men.

Stefan Molyneux is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Molyneux’s quote. NOTE: The text above is a more complete version of the slightly truncated quote used in the video, which was edited for clarity, for length, and to remove some repetition.

Erin Pizzey has said:

If you’re referring to Paul’s statement that many or most women fantasize about being taken, I’m sorry but that’s the truth. That doesn’t mean they want to be raped, but it’s a fantasy I think almost all women have. And I think he went on to say that feminists like Andrea Dworkin who were and are so obsessed with rape are really projecting their own unconscious sexual frustration because men don’t give them enough attention. Andrea was a very sad lonely woman like this–I didn’t know her but I knew of her, and I knew Susan Browmiller and you can just read her stuff to see it there.

Erin Pizzey is a scheduled speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Erin Pizzey is a voice of hatred

SOURCE of Pizzey’s quote. NOTE: The text above is a complete version of the slightly truncated quote used in the video, which was edited for clarity.

Karen Straughan has written:

I used to live under a young couple with a baby. I’d listen as she followed him from room to room upstairs, stomping, slamming things, throwing things, screaming. After about an hour, he’d eventually hit her, and everything would go quiet. An hour after that, they’d be out with the baby in the stroller, looking perfectly content with each other.

A man I know who has experience with men in abusive relationships would get his clients to answer a questionnaire. Things like, “after the violence, did you have sex?” “If so, how would you rate the sex?” 100% of men in reciprocally abusive relationships said “yes” to the first, and “scorching” to the second.

He also posited that the much-quoted cycle of violence–the build-up, the explosion, the honeymoon period–correlates with foreplay, orgasm and post-coital bliss.

Erin Pizzey called it “consensual violence”, and said in the main, that was the type she’d see at her shelter. It is also the type that results in the most severe injuries in women, surprise surprise, likely because our “never EVER hit a woman” mentality has those men waiting until they completely lose control of their emotions before giving their women what they’re demanding.

Karen Straughan is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Karen Straughan is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Straughan’s quote.

Warren Farrell has said:

The worst aspect of dating from the perspective of many men is how dating can feel to a man like robbery by social custom …

Evenings of paying to be rejected can feel like a male version of date rape.

If a man ignoring a woman’s verbal “no” is committing date rape, then a woman who says “no” with her verbal language but “yes” with her body language is committing date fraud. …

We have forgotten that before we began calling this date rape and date fraud, we called it exciting.

Somehow, women’s romance novels are not titled He Stopped When I Said “No”. They are, though, titled Sweet Savage Love, in which the woman rejects the hand of her gentler lover who saves her from the rapist and marries the man who repeatedly and savagely rapes her. …

It is important that a woman’s “noes” be respected and her “yeses” be respected. And it is also important when her nonverbal “yeses” … conflict with those verbal “noes” that the man not be put in jail for choosing the “yes” over the “no.” He might just be trying to become her fantasy.

Warren Farrell is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Warren Farrell is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Farrell’s quote.

Warren Farrell has said:

Incest is like a magnifying glass. In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of the relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma. …

When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200, the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. …

[M]illions of people who are now refraining from touching, holding, and … caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t.

Warren Farrell is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Warren Farrell is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Farrell’s quote. I have removed a word that appears in the original interview but that Farrell insists he did not say.

Paul Elam has said:

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess.

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong.

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Paul Elam is the central organizer of the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit, and the founder of A Voice for Men

Paul Elam is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Elam’s quote.

For a detailed look at the homophobia of Anne Cools, another speaker at the conference, see here.

Big thanks to everyone who helped with the video!

 

 

 

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woodyred
woodyred
10 years ago

you dont want to take me off of moderation, manboobz ? – you fat sh*t – fine. have fun with the inferior woody.

Children of the broccoli
Children of the broccoli
10 years ago

@woody, since I didn’t see your most recent posts when I wrote my last piece. No, you’re not getting taken off moderation. We told you multiple times to stop being a jerk, you laughed at us and kept using ableist language, and now you’re suffering the consequences. Personal responsibility, yay!

Also, I think it’s really funny that you’re saying the MRM doesn’t revolve around AVFM, because more than once I’ve had an MRA direct me to AVFM as an example of the moderate branch of the MRM. Yes, I laughed at them.

Johanna Roberts
10 years ago

@Woody I’m still waiting for you to explain the incest/CSA thing to me as how that’s out of context in a way that justifies it to a survivor of both. I’ll be waiting until the end of time for context that justifies that sick sack of crap. And that’s not even touching the other quotes, which aren’t one line but whole blocks of text.

sebhai
sebhai
10 years ago

“Whether you decide to avoid disablist language is up to you. But you’re an asshole if you think that it’s acceptable language.”

Nope,he is not an asshole.he is a MRA…

sebhai
sebhai
10 years ago

“@Ally S – the fact you find my language offensive is your own concern. its not mine, feminist.”

That’s very polite of him, I actually expect him to call you a feminazi…..

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Racnad,

So much wrong in your posts.

think where Stefan Molyneux is coming from is the phenomena of boys who are raised with feminist ideas believe that they way to a woman’s heart is to be overly nice to women. However, they find this behavior often does not trigger romantic attraction in a lot of women, and notice that many (thought not all) women are romantically drawn to men who are exactly the type of jerks feminism tells men not to be. This is where the “women prefer jerks to nice guys” thing comes from. When they express this, feminists call them Nice Guys(tm) and accuse them of feeling “entitled” to women’s bodies when what they really seek is either a relationship, or just the same opportunity for consensual sex they see other men having.

Where is your evidence that women get into relationships with asshole men at a greater rate than men get into relationships with asshole women? People are varied and have different tastes, different psychological issues, etc. The notion that the roughly 3.5 billion women and girls on the planet are attracted to assholes is ridiculous. Gay and lesbian relationships tend to get erased in this conversation too. Do lesbians like asshole women or is your contention that it’s a trait straight women have only?

It is also difficult to trust the definition of ‘asshole’ when it’s coming from a “Nice Guy.” IME they tend to automatically view all men who attract women as assholes. It never seems to have much to do with his actual personality. I’ve known jerks who attract women but I’ve also known sweet nice guys who attract women. It has do with a combination of looks and social skills more than anything else.

The notion than women or anyone else deserves to be bashed is offensive to me as well. But he brings up a valid point that in abusive relationships women are just as likely to be physically abusive to men as men are to women. But feminists often don’t like to talk about or even acknowledge that female on male violence exists. This is even more under reported than male on female violence, because men don’t want to admit they were attacked by women. A man seeking medical help for injuries caused by women is likely to say it was a sports injury or that he fell off a ladder.

So, which is it. Do women, unlike men prefer assholes? Because your two posts are contradictory. If men are abused as often as you claim, than I guess Nice Girls should start taking men to task for liking assholes, right?

Of course, your claims here are actually ridiculous. Severe ongoing man on woman abuse is far more common that the other way around. Many more women are killed by male partners and exes than the other way around.

That said we do support men who’ve been abused and are not supportive of abusive women. If you are going to claim we think female on male abuse is OK you need to back that up with quotes from us. Spoiler: You won’t find them.

If men feel “entitled to women’s bodies” then many (though not all) women feel entitled to expensive engagement rings, high-end lifestyles they’re not working to earn the money for and if the relationship doesn’t work out, half of the money her former spouse earned.

Ah yes, the gold digger defense. How many women actually get into relationships solely for money. Not that many. I don’t know a single woman like this. Even if it was as common as you think, it’s not equivalent to rape which seems to be what you’re insinuating. When a rich man marries a trophy wife it is consensual. He knows what he’s getting into. Rape is not consensual. It doesn’t compare at all.

Bostonian
Bostonian
10 years ago

Too bad he never was able to show us a nonviolent MRA.

contrapangloss
10 years ago

Ah, yes, the “You Mean Fat (bleep!)” Trick.

When you’ve been told your on moderation for abusive language, you really want to try to make us feel guilty for moderating you with more abusive language?

Yep. Continued moderation for zie!

contrapangloss
10 years ago

Ninja’d by a ban. Banhammer, thou art a mighty and glorious weapon.

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Flying Mouse:

@Sparky – You can claim me as another victim. After I read the Julia quote I had to go fix lunch for the kiddies. Then I somehow found myself looking at the Reine de Saba cake recipe in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I might make it this weekend. Should I call it Reine de Sparky cake instead?

I would be honored. 🙂

woodyred: Can you answer the question or not? In what context would any of those quotes not be hateful?

racnad:

Women are certainly not “responsible for all the evil in the world and the downfall if humanity.”

I think where Stefan Molyneux is coming from is the phenomena of boys who are raised with feminist ideas believe that they way to a woman’s heart is to be overly nice to women. However, they find this behavior often does not trigger romantic attraction in a lot of women, and notice that many (thought not all) women are romantically drawn to men who are exactly the type of jerks feminism tells men not to be.

But, Stefan Molyneux is literally blaming women for all the evils in the world. This what he literally said.

Your dad is who he is fundamentally because your mother was willing to fuck him and have you. Willing and eager to fuck the monster. Stop fucking monsters and we get a great world. Keep fucking monsters, we get catastrophes, we get war, we get nuclear weapons, we get national debt, we get incarcerations … Women worship at the feet of the devil and wonder why the world is evil. And then you know what they say? We’re victims!

It wasn’t the usual whine that “women only want bad boys and not Nice Guys ™” (and Nice Guys ™ aren’t actually nice). It is literally blaming women for everything from nuclear war to national debt and “catastrophes.” That is exactly what he is saying. There is no white-washing that.

And I feel we’ve had this same “it’s just satire” discussion with Woody before, haven’t we? It’s like he’s a broken record that can only sing Paul Elam’s praises.

And yeah, I just horribly mangled a metaphor there.

sebhai
sebhai
10 years ago

You’re banning him too soon…

freshlysqueezedcynic
freshlysqueezedcynic
10 years ago

@woodyred:

You still, despite repeated requests, have not answered the following question:

What is the context of these quotes that would make them better? Or how have they been taken out of context?

This is one of the more interesting commentariats, on the internet, who you cannot bamboozle by simply declaiming randomly from the wikipedia List of logical fallacies without backing up your claims. You can’t just yell “out of context” or “strawman”! as if you were claiming a foul in a sports match or as if they were a magical talisman.

If you think something is out of context or has been dishonestly snipped, prove it. Show the whole context. Explain how what is being quoted here is not what they actually meant.

Prove it.

marinerachel
marinerachel
10 years ago

From whence did this idea feminists teach their sons to treat women so super nicely come? I don’t want to be treated overly nicely. I don’t want to be coddled. I don’t want sunshine blown up my ass. I want to be treated like a person. That’s what I’ll teach my boys.

What feminists are teaching boys and men to treat women excessively kindly?

Melissia
10 years ago

Iunno. Feminists I know teach their children to treat everyone with respect. It’s mostly the so-called “purity culture” that espouses to teach boys to treat women “super-nice” (unless those women don’t meet their standards of “purity”, in which case they’re stupid sluts).

contrapangloss
10 years ago

But treating humans like humans is soooo hard, Marinerachel!

Why can’t we just give all men a nice little manual for how to feed, care for, and operate their women: models hb8-10. I mean, how can guys be expected to know how to treat women like people, and not like either robots or delicate pieces of glasswork? Women are clearly from a separate and distinct evolutionary lineage!

Except for, you know, the fact that their choices in mates have made men evolve to be meanies…

Do I need the /s? Just in case: /SarcasmAlert!!!!!!

elizabeth
elizabeth
10 years ago

I’m a feminist, or at least I was. But I’m totally disillusioned with it now. It just causes arguments between genders. As you can see in this comment thread. Ideally the movement needs to be tweaked to perpetuate love+peace between people of all genders. Then I’ll support fmism/mfism (those would be fairer titles, implying both men and women should be treated well, +they are fun and catchy).

dustedeste
dustedeste
10 years ago

Lol, egalitarianism. Go away, elizabeth. No warm welcome will be forthcoming.

elizabeth
elizabeth
10 years ago

see that was just rude? whats “lol” about wanting fairness for everyone, isn’t that exactly the goal of feminism? if it’s not then fine, but that’s what I thought it was.

estraven
estraven
10 years ago

Actually, elizabeth, it doesn’t have to cause arguments between genders. Men who believe that women should have rights equal to men’s don’t argue with the basic premises of feminism. Women who, like me, love men (husband, son, nephews, friends, in-laws) don’t argue that men don’t need compassion and love and fairness. I have a daughter and a son, I love them both, and I see how both have been hurt by a sexist, patriarchal system. I see it in my granddaughter and grandson as well. Alas, feminism is still necessary and cannot be substituted for by humanism or whatever as long as women worldwide still suffer lopsidedly as they do.

dustedeste
dustedeste
10 years ago

Aww, did I hurt your fee-fees? The issue with egalitarianism is that it necessarily fosters an attitude of “what about the menz,” in that it denies the reality of there being a privileged oppressor class benefiting from the disenfranchisement of the oppressed (in this case, specifically in terms of gender, though obviously there are numerous instances of intersection with other areas of privilege and oppression). So no, that’s bullshit.

Also, this isn’t a 101 education blog, this is a mockery blog, so really, the field in which I grow my shits about your feels?

Barren.

Howard Bannister
10 years ago

I want to be treated like a person. That’s what I’ll teach my boys.

What feminists are teaching boys and men to treat women excessively kindly?

Ah, but that’s the thing. They think treating you like a person is excessive.

fromafar2013
10 years ago

@ Elizabeth

If the idea that women are people causes so much friction in your relationships with men, may I suggest that feminism is not the problem?

Magically, being a feminist has caused exactly zero arguments between me and my boyfriend.

Me and my father, OTOH… Whoo boy. Then again, he likes Rush Lumbaugh, so there’s that.

Yeah, the problem isn’t feminism.

elizabeth
elizabeth
10 years ago

I’m sorry estraven, your thoughts seem very agreeable with me, however I think feminism causes arguments and hate between genders, I think there is a genuine problem in its’ design. The name emphasizes gender, and includes just one gender, so segregates people into gender labels, one of which is not included, one of which is. I think this causes most women to feel allied and most men to feel it is biased, that’s why i was suggesting fmism/mfism seem like better names, that’s just what i think and think it turns genders against each other. The movement could be perpetuating love and peace between people but has the opposite effect. I always see similar arguments in the comment thread when the subject is feminism and I think it need not be that way.

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