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a voice for men a woman is always to blame antifeminism antifeminist women erin pizzey evil women excusing abuse FemRAs GirlWritesWhat imaginary oppression men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA paul elam playing the victim rape rape culture warren farrell

Voices of Hatred: A look at the noxious views of six of the speakers at A Voice for Men's upcoming conference

Curious about the views of the people scheduled to speak at A Voice for Men’s “Men’s Issues” conference next week? Here’s a little video guide. CONTENT WARNING: Domestic violence, rape, incest.

If you’d like to have their quotes in writing for future reference, here’s a transcript of the quotes used in the video. I’ve linked to the source of each quote (or to posts of mine that discuss the quotes in greater detail). Enjoy!

Mike Buchanan has said:

I believe girls learn at a young age that whining gets them what they want, especially from over-indulgent parents who might later wonder why their daughters became Entitlement Princesses. Inevitably these girls continue whining into adolescence and adulthood because they continue to get what they want. It’s up to men to break the cycle …

Men living in houses with cellars can put a sign on the cellar door, ‘The Whine Cellar’, and politely direct whining women towards it. In houses without a cellar, the smallest room in the house – or possibly the garden shed – could be designated ‘The Whine Box’.

Mike Buchanan is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Mike Buchanan is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Buchanan’s quote

Stefan Molyneux has said:

Women who choose the assholes will fucking end this race. They will fucking end this human race, if we don’t start holding them a-fucking-ccountable. … Women who choose assholes guarantee child abuse. Women who choose assholes guarantee criminality, sociopathy. Politicians, all the cold-hearted jerks who run the world came out of the vaginas of women who married assholes.

And I don’t know how to make the world a better place without holding women accountable for choosing assholes. Your dad was an asshole because your mother chose him. Because it works on so many women. If “asshole” wasn’t a great reproductive strategy it would have been gone long ago. Women keep that black bastard flame alive. They cup their hands around it, they protect it with their bodies. They keep the evil of the species going by continually choosing these guys.

If being an asshole didn’t get women, there would be no assholes left. If women chose nice guys over assholes we would have a glorious and peaceful world in one generation. Women determine the personality traits of the men because women choose who to have sex with, and who to have children with, and who to expose those children to. …

Your dad is who he is fundamentally because your mother was willing to fuck him and have you. Willing and eager to fuck the monster. Stop fucking monsters and we get a great world. Keep fucking monsters, we get catastrophes, we get war, we get nuclear weapons, we get national debt, we get incarcerations … Women worship at the feet of the devil and wonder why the world is evil. And then you know what they say? We’re victims!

Stefan Molyneux is a scheduled speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men.

Stefan Molyneux is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Molyneux’s quote. NOTE: The text above is a more complete version of the slightly truncated quote used in the video, which was edited for clarity, for length, and to remove some repetition.

Erin Pizzey has said:

If you’re referring to Paul’s statement that many or most women fantasize about being taken, I’m sorry but that’s the truth. That doesn’t mean they want to be raped, but it’s a fantasy I think almost all women have. And I think he went on to say that feminists like Andrea Dworkin who were and are so obsessed with rape are really projecting their own unconscious sexual frustration because men don’t give them enough attention. Andrea was a very sad lonely woman like this–I didn’t know her but I knew of her, and I knew Susan Browmiller and you can just read her stuff to see it there.

Erin Pizzey is a scheduled speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Erin Pizzey is a voice of hatred

SOURCE of Pizzey’s quote. NOTE: The text above is a complete version of the slightly truncated quote used in the video, which was edited for clarity.

Karen Straughan has written:

I used to live under a young couple with a baby. I’d listen as she followed him from room to room upstairs, stomping, slamming things, throwing things, screaming. After about an hour, he’d eventually hit her, and everything would go quiet. An hour after that, they’d be out with the baby in the stroller, looking perfectly content with each other.

A man I know who has experience with men in abusive relationships would get his clients to answer a questionnaire. Things like, “after the violence, did you have sex?” “If so, how would you rate the sex?” 100% of men in reciprocally abusive relationships said “yes” to the first, and “scorching” to the second.

He also posited that the much-quoted cycle of violence–the build-up, the explosion, the honeymoon period–correlates with foreplay, orgasm and post-coital bliss.

Erin Pizzey called it “consensual violence”, and said in the main, that was the type she’d see at her shelter. It is also the type that results in the most severe injuries in women, surprise surprise, likely because our “never EVER hit a woman” mentality has those men waiting until they completely lose control of their emotions before giving their women what they’re demanding.

Karen Straughan is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Karen Straughan is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Straughan’s quote.

Warren Farrell has said:

The worst aspect of dating from the perspective of many men is how dating can feel to a man like robbery by social custom …

Evenings of paying to be rejected can feel like a male version of date rape.

If a man ignoring a woman’s verbal “no” is committing date rape, then a woman who says “no” with her verbal language but “yes” with her body language is committing date fraud. …

We have forgotten that before we began calling this date rape and date fraud, we called it exciting.

Somehow, women’s romance novels are not titled He Stopped When I Said “No”. They are, though, titled Sweet Savage Love, in which the woman rejects the hand of her gentler lover who saves her from the rapist and marries the man who repeatedly and savagely rapes her. …

It is important that a woman’s “noes” be respected and her “yeses” be respected. And it is also important when her nonverbal “yeses” … conflict with those verbal “noes” that the man not be put in jail for choosing the “yes” over the “no.” He might just be trying to become her fantasy.

Warren Farrell is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Warren Farrell is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Farrell’s quote.

Warren Farrell has said:

Incest is like a magnifying glass. In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of the relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma. …

When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200, the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. …

[M]illions of people who are now refraining from touching, holding, and … caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t.

Warren Farrell is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Warren Farrell is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Farrell’s quote. I have removed a word that appears in the original interview but that Farrell insists he did not say.

Paul Elam has said:

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess.

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong.

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Paul Elam is the central organizer of the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit, and the founder of A Voice for Men

Paul Elam is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Elam’s quote.

For a detailed look at the homophobia of Anne Cools, another speaker at the conference, see here.

Big thanks to everyone who helped with the video!

 

 

 

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woodyred
woodyred
10 years ago

ah – its the ableism. hmm. fine

cloudiah
10 years ago

TIL that opposing bigotry makes you a bigot. Luckily the actual bigot is now on moderation.

That video, like this post, is awesome. Great compilation of the MRM’s “Greatest Hits” all in one place. Let their own words follow them forever. (Sourced, and with a link back to the context so that everyone can see that they’re just as bad surrounded by more words.)

woodyred
woodyred
10 years ago

take me off moderation please – and delete any comments Ive posted you find to be ablest. I will make no reference to disability or insanity going forward, manboobz.

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Jean-Francois,
Don’t feel bad. I didn’t get much sleep last night and if I had any pride at all, I’d back away from the keyboard instead of continuing to look like I bang away at the keys with my elbows to make words.
Something about the horrible arguments made by Misogynist Rape Advocates males me feel fine about my mistakes, though. So…http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a177/wolf_deamon/TAKTAKTAKcat2.gif

Tracy
Tracy
10 years ago

@sparky I just sauteed some kale and ate it with a blend of white and sweet mashed potatoes and 2 fried eggs. DAMN YOU FOOD BRAINWASHING

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Tracy: My evil plan to brainwash people into cooking and enjoying delicious food is working!

Mua-ha-ha-ha!

racnad
racnad
10 years ago

“Inconvenient truths?” Like, what, exactly? That women do secretely want to be beaten and raped and bring it on themselves? That women are just whiny children? That women are responsible for all the evil in the world and the downfall if humanity because they have sex with men Stefan Molyneux doesn’t approve of? ”

I would not make generalizations that all women like assholes or want to be beaten or anything else. Women who are emotionally healthy avoid abusing men and abusive relationships and seek healthy relationships with emotionally healthy partners (be they men or women). Women are certainly not “responsible for all the evil in the world and the downfall if humanity.”

I think where Stefan Molyneux is coming from is the phenomena of boys who are raised with feminist ideas believe that they way to a woman’s heart is to be overly nice to women. However, they find this behavior often does not trigger romantic attraction in a lot of women, and notice that many (thought not all) women are romantically drawn to men who are exactly the type of jerks feminism tells men not to be. This is where the “women prefer jerks to nice guys” thing comes from. When they express this, feminists call them Nice Guys(tm) and accuse them of feeling “entitled” to women’s bodies when what they really seek is either a relationship, or just the same opportunity for consensual sex they see other men having.

Here is a well written article on this topic which does not contain the vitriol that both MRAs and feminists too often inject into the issue:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201405/the-secret-turning-friendship-romance

Tracy
Tracy
10 years ago

Ok, woodyred linked to a couple videos. In the spirit of our gentle leader’s request a few posts back, imma gonna take one (or two) for the team and watch them. I am procrastinating at work, so why not. (I work from home, no worries).

If woodyred gets off mod, may I humbly suggest to him that he answers my question, which was ‘what topics covered at the conference interest you’ with an actual written answer rather than long-ass videos. Because ‘well so-and-so is speaking about why it should be socially acceptable for men to wear skirts and dresses, and I agree bc really, why should clothing be gendered?’*

*I seriously doubt this is a topic. In fact if it is, I will buy a hat just to eat it.

Tracy
Tracy
10 years ago

*ETA: Because ‘well so-and-so is speaking about…’ is a much better answer and actually includes, you know, your thoughts/opinions. /sentence-finishing-fail

leftwingfox
10 years ago

So… wait, opposition to the civil rights of gay people isn’t bigotry, but being mean to an individual person because of the beliefs they espouse is?

(and do I need to start a #notallfoxes campaign?)

racnad
racnad
10 years ago

Other inconvenient truths:

Mike Buchanan:
If men feel “entitled to women’s bodies” then many (though not all) women feel entitled to expensive engagement rings, high-end lifestyles they’re not working to earn the money for and if the relationship doesn’t work out, half of the money her former spouse earned.

William Farrell:
No I don’t get the incest thing at all, but he brings up a good point with the romance novels. Why do so many women like to read novels about good looking sexually aggressive men who “take” women and that is somehow sexy?

Paul Elam:
The notion than women or anyone else deserves to be bashed is offensive to me as well. But he brings up a valid point that in abusive relationships women are just as likely to be physically abusive to men as men are to women. But feminists often don’t like to talk about or even acknowledge that female on male violence exists. This is even more under reported than male on female violence, because men don’t want to admit they were attacked by women. A man seeking medical help for injuries caused by women is likely to say it was a sports injury or that he fell off a ladder.

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

TIL that opposing bigotry makes you a bigot. Luckily the actual bigot is now on moderation.

Sweet summer child. You just learned that today?

Not long ago a troll on Gawker told me that racism in our culture is getting worse and I’m to blame. Because I oppose racist jokes. It was a really logical opinion.

Woody
Woody
10 years ago

How many times does it have to be said that Paul’s piece was SATIRE? You can think it was in bad taste, but it was a SATIRE PIECE, and does not represent Paul’s actual views. It is not his “voice”.

woodyred
woodyred
10 years ago

@Woody – ah. we have two woodys.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
10 years ago

@Sparky – You can claim me as another victim. After I read the Julia quote I had to go fix lunch for the kiddies. Then I somehow found myself looking at the Reine de Saba cake recipe in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I might make it this weekend. Should I call it Reine de Sparky cake instead?

Saphy
Saphy
10 years ago

Can we make the two Woody-trolls battle it out for supremacy?
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

Bostonian
Bostonian
10 years ago

“Paul’s” piece was not satire, he directly and regularly advocates for domestic abusers. “Paul’s” platform is directly advocating for rapists and abusers.
He is proud to do so at every opportunity.

woodyred
woodyred
10 years ago

@Woody – my advice to you – dont labour the satire argument. it is largely irrelevant. dont wander down that path with these people. screw Paul elams satire – the mens movement does not revolve around him – and mens issues do not hang on his every word. we do not have defend Paul elams every word. not more than these feminists have to defend every word spoken by feminist.

woodyred
woodyred
10 years ago

seriously, manboobz – take me off of moderation.

jefrir
jefrir
10 years ago

How many times does it have to be said that Paul’s piece was SATIRE? You can think it was in bad taste, but it was a SATIRE PIECE, and does not represent Paul’s actual views. It is not his “voice”.

What exactly was it satirising?

woodyred
woodyred
10 years ago

urgh – I hate typos.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
10 years ago

Slightly off topic, but what’s with the next video in that playlist? Elam mispronouncing the word “methodological” means absolutely nothing and I think it’s an embarrassing mistake to focus on something like that.

Children of the broccoli
Children of the broccoli
10 years ago

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong.

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Woody, he literally said he was joking, but not because it was wrong, because it wasn’t wrong. You can’t keep claiming that we don’t realize it was satire. Satire can be offensive too, especially if you state, in all seriousness, that it’s not ethically wrong to assault women if they hit you first.

@ Racnad: Romance novels *used* to use that trope because women were taught that it was shameful for them to want sex, so the novels would have the chaste pure heroine forced into a relationship with the hero, so she could enjoy the sex without feeling guilty for seeking it out. Society has progressed since then, and it’s a very rarely used trope these days.

Also, non-consent fantasies are not the same thing as thinking actual rape is not a big deal. Because the whole point of fantasies is that you can walk away (put down the book, use your safeword, etc.) if you don’t like where it’s going. Real rape means you don’t get a say in what’s happening to you, and that’s bad. It’s not rocket science.

woodyred
woodyred
10 years ago

@jefrir which “piece” are we talking about here ?

racnad
racnad
10 years ago

Here’s my criticism of Paul Elam’s “satire:”

The basis of humor is that something has two meanings, one that is logical and reasonable, and one that is absurd or inappropriate. Think of anything you find funny, and there will be a logical meaning and an absurd or inappropriate meaning. The joke “I shot an elephant in my pajamas…” is funny because it can mean you were wearing your pajamas (logical) or that the elephant was wearing your pajamas (absurd).

If we don’t find something funny, it’s because we don’t understand the absurd meaning, or that we don’t understand or agree with the logical meaning.

The idea of a “Bash a Violent Bitch Month” is absurd, but the logical meaning is that the women deserve it even if it’s illegal. Only people who harbor a lot of anger toward women would find this funny.

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