Categories
a voice for men a woman is always to blame antifeminism antifeminist women erin pizzey evil women excusing abuse FemRAs GirlWritesWhat imaginary oppression men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA paul elam playing the victim rape rape culture warren farrell

Voices of Hatred: A look at the noxious views of six of the speakers at A Voice for Men's upcoming conference

Curious about the views of the people scheduled to speak at A Voice for Men’s “Men’s Issues” conference next week? Here’s a little video guide. CONTENT WARNING: Domestic violence, rape, incest.

If you’d like to have their quotes in writing for future reference, here’s a transcript of the quotes used in the video. I’ve linked to the source of each quote (or to posts of mine that discuss the quotes in greater detail). Enjoy!

Mike Buchanan has said:

I believe girls learn at a young age that whining gets them what they want, especially from over-indulgent parents who might later wonder why their daughters became Entitlement Princesses. Inevitably these girls continue whining into adolescence and adulthood because they continue to get what they want. It’s up to men to break the cycle …

Men living in houses with cellars can put a sign on the cellar door, ‘The Whine Cellar’, and politely direct whining women towards it. In houses without a cellar, the smallest room in the house – or possibly the garden shed – could be designated ‘The Whine Box’.

Mike Buchanan is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Mike Buchanan is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Buchanan’s quote

Stefan Molyneux has said:

Women who choose the assholes will fucking end this race. They will fucking end this human race, if we don’t start holding them a-fucking-ccountable. … Women who choose assholes guarantee child abuse. Women who choose assholes guarantee criminality, sociopathy. Politicians, all the cold-hearted jerks who run the world came out of the vaginas of women who married assholes.

And I don’t know how to make the world a better place without holding women accountable for choosing assholes. Your dad was an asshole because your mother chose him. Because it works on so many women. If “asshole” wasn’t a great reproductive strategy it would have been gone long ago. Women keep that black bastard flame alive. They cup their hands around it, they protect it with their bodies. They keep the evil of the species going by continually choosing these guys.

If being an asshole didn’t get women, there would be no assholes left. If women chose nice guys over assholes we would have a glorious and peaceful world in one generation. Women determine the personality traits of the men because women choose who to have sex with, and who to have children with, and who to expose those children to. …

Your dad is who he is fundamentally because your mother was willing to fuck him and have you. Willing and eager to fuck the monster. Stop fucking monsters and we get a great world. Keep fucking monsters, we get catastrophes, we get war, we get nuclear weapons, we get national debt, we get incarcerations … Women worship at the feet of the devil and wonder why the world is evil. And then you know what they say? We’re victims!

Stefan Molyneux is a scheduled speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men.

Stefan Molyneux is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Molyneux’s quote. NOTE: The text above is a more complete version of the slightly truncated quote used in the video, which was edited for clarity, for length, and to remove some repetition.

Erin Pizzey has said:

If you’re referring to Paul’s statement that many or most women fantasize about being taken, I’m sorry but that’s the truth. That doesn’t mean they want to be raped, but it’s a fantasy I think almost all women have. And I think he went on to say that feminists like Andrea Dworkin who were and are so obsessed with rape are really projecting their own unconscious sexual frustration because men don’t give them enough attention. Andrea was a very sad lonely woman like this–I didn’t know her but I knew of her, and I knew Susan Browmiller and you can just read her stuff to see it there.

Erin Pizzey is a scheduled speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Erin Pizzey is a voice of hatred

SOURCE of Pizzey’s quote. NOTE: The text above is a complete version of the slightly truncated quote used in the video, which was edited for clarity.

Karen Straughan has written:

I used to live under a young couple with a baby. I’d listen as she followed him from room to room upstairs, stomping, slamming things, throwing things, screaming. After about an hour, he’d eventually hit her, and everything would go quiet. An hour after that, they’d be out with the baby in the stroller, looking perfectly content with each other.

A man I know who has experience with men in abusive relationships would get his clients to answer a questionnaire. Things like, “after the violence, did you have sex?” “If so, how would you rate the sex?” 100% of men in reciprocally abusive relationships said “yes” to the first, and “scorching” to the second.

He also posited that the much-quoted cycle of violence–the build-up, the explosion, the honeymoon period–correlates with foreplay, orgasm and post-coital bliss.

Erin Pizzey called it “consensual violence”, and said in the main, that was the type she’d see at her shelter. It is also the type that results in the most severe injuries in women, surprise surprise, likely because our “never EVER hit a woman” mentality has those men waiting until they completely lose control of their emotions before giving their women what they’re demanding.

Karen Straughan is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Karen Straughan is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Straughan’s quote.

Warren Farrell has said:

The worst aspect of dating from the perspective of many men is how dating can feel to a man like robbery by social custom …

Evenings of paying to be rejected can feel like a male version of date rape.

If a man ignoring a woman’s verbal “no” is committing date rape, then a woman who says “no” with her verbal language but “yes” with her body language is committing date fraud. …

We have forgotten that before we began calling this date rape and date fraud, we called it exciting.

Somehow, women’s romance novels are not titled He Stopped When I Said “No”. They are, though, titled Sweet Savage Love, in which the woman rejects the hand of her gentler lover who saves her from the rapist and marries the man who repeatedly and savagely rapes her. …

It is important that a woman’s “noes” be respected and her “yeses” be respected. And it is also important when her nonverbal “yeses” … conflict with those verbal “noes” that the man not be put in jail for choosing the “yes” over the “no.” He might just be trying to become her fantasy.

Warren Farrell is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Warren Farrell is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Farrell’s quote.

Warren Farrell has said:

Incest is like a magnifying glass. In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of the relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma. …

When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200, the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. …

[M]illions of people who are now refraining from touching, holding, and … caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t.

Warren Farrell is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Warren Farrell is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Farrell’s quote. I have removed a word that appears in the original interview but that Farrell insists he did not say.

Paul Elam has said:

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess.

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong.

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Paul Elam is the central organizer of the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit, and the founder of A Voice for Men

Paul Elam is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Elam’s quote.

For a detailed look at the homophobia of Anne Cools, another speaker at the conference, see here.

Big thanks to everyone who helped with the video!

 

 

 

873 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
piratejennie
10 years ago

@kittehserf

Squeeeeee! To my true feline self emerging.

*checks rear end for the start of a tail*

No lie, until I was about 7 or 8 I vehemently insisted I was going to be a cat when I grew up and would get really angry when people (read my impatient jerk of a dad) tried to employ logic to convince me this wasn’t possible.

Kim
Kim
10 years ago

Ah yes, we call it cochineal over here. No more coconut ice for me.

Coconut ice is pretty easy to make, and I reckon you could get a good pink colour using pomegranate juice instead of artificial colour. I cut some pomegranate up for my birds and it looked like blood everywhere, it was so red.

I have been experimenting with marshmallows (best so far maple and bourbon – fabulous in hot chocolate) and would love to try some vegetarian ones too. So thank you piratejennie for the recipe links. 🙂

kittehserf
10 years ago

piratejennie – crushing a human’s natural desire to ascent to catdom is miscatry!

Louis sported a tail briefly one morning a few months ago. He said it felt very strange (surprise!) having one’s spine extended that far and he kept wanting to chase it. He did it ‘cos I’ve long since said he’s a cat, not least since he purrs on occasion. Ah, the things one can do once one’s in Spirit!

LBT – I’m not sure what you mean about the selfies. D’you mean looking at other guys’ selfies to change your own feelings?

GrumpyOldMan
10 years ago

“I honestly believe that MRAs are scared of females.”
Can there be the slightest question that this is true?

racnad
racnad
10 years ago

“I’m not sure if there have been studies showing a correlation between entitlement and the perception of having been friendzoned. What we’re doing is evaluating for ourselves. Asking if Nice Guys feel entitled and are objectifying their targets is like asking if it’s mean to kick puppies. You don’t need a study for something that obvious”

So there is no evidence at all, just a world view filtered through your ideology. If people you like say so, then it must be true.

Thank you for clarifying.

Woody
Woody
10 years ago

“Their identification or lack thereof doesn’t mean shit. They are still reactionary, ideologically and in practice.”

These are unsupported smear allegations. He might not be an “activist”, but Dean has said many times that he supports gay rights, and is no homophobe. And I dare you to point me to one homophobic thing he’s said.

Marie
Marie
10 years ago

@Woody

We’ve been over this.

Just saying you support gay rights doesn’t do squat.

Ally S
10 years ago

@Woody

These are unsupported smear allegations. He might not be an “activist”, but Dean has said many times that he supports gay rights, and is no homophobe. And I dare you to point me to one homophobic thing he’s said.

I am explaining this people way more often than I should, but I’ll try to give you a quick summary of why the MRM is homophobic in hopes that you shut the hell up:

1. Its theoretical base (whatever it is) is comprised of, among other things, evolutionary psychology research. Such research categorically erases homosexual people or at best treats them as evolutionary aberrations that in no way challenge the heteronormative, patriarchal social framework that evo psych researchers presuppose. In short, MRAs support scientific discourses that reinforce homophobic narratives.

2. Quite a few MRAs insult others with homophobic slurs such as the f-word, dyke, and especially lesbophobic phrases like “man-hating lesbian”.

3. A great deal of MRAs identify as conservative, and the hatred for homosexual people is especially strong among such MRAs. And yet these same MRAs are frequently accepted as “rational dissenters” by even the ostensibly pro-gay MRAs.

4. MRAs, being reactionaries, are accepting of patriarchal norms, which in turn oppress homosexual people.

So yeah, that’s why you’re totally fucking wrong about this, Woody.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

I DID IT!! I AM CAUGHT UP ON THIS THREAD!!

Things I learned: being nice will magically end all oppression, psychology today is a reputable source, you can be an AIDS denier and gay rights activist, and that 1 mg ativan makes Marie loopy. Idk whether to be jealous or sympathetic, since 1 mg makes me mostly able to cope with OMGS TOO MANY PEOPLE!

And I need 0.5mg to be in the same room as my father, as, surprise surprise, being nice doesn’t actually make bigots stop being assholes.

Other things learned while working my way through this — IE8 is not actually standards compliant and I still need to code IE workarounds. I hate internet explorer so very much.

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
10 years ago

Here’s an unsupported smear allegation, Woody: you’re a gullible fool.

hellkell
hellkell
10 years ago

Finally caught up, and if Elizabeth is a British woman, I will eat my sandal. With HP sauce.

bunnybunny
10 years ago

Would it be weird for me to ask if people would consider using CN indications for psychoactive drug use?

Croi
Croi
10 years ago

Good grief. This is far worse than I’d realised, and I’ve read quite a bit of MRA hate content. I actually came here through Mike Buchanan’s blog. The guy seems to have no insight into his own behaviour. Claiming not to be a misogynist, then all that stuff about ‘whine cellars’? He’s a sickening little toad.

Kenneth McGrath
10 years ago

Wow, those quotes are really messed up and definitely hateful. There’s no need for any conference of this sort – none whatsoever. What men need to do, I think, is stop buying into the warrior/savior/prince/king narrative, dismantle systemic misogyny that is embodied institutionally, and start listening deeply to women and indigenous cultures before we completely destroy the planet. So far, all I’ve seen from the so-called “Men’s Rights Movement” organizations has been counter-Feminist rhetoric that’s just another form of denial. For speaking this way, I’m often called “gay” or a “pussy” by other men… so that’s all the proof that I need to know that nothing had really changed and that there’s still a lot of work to do. It won’t happen at one of these conferences – that’s for sure. Peace.

pecunium
10 years ago

What the Fuck did I just read?

I’d seen references to Elizabeth, but not found the thread (I was away that weekend).

Not English. Possessed of a familiar set of idisyncratic linguistic quirks; a level of very short sentences, and overly polite semi self-abnegations. The pity party at the end was very reminiscent of someone recent (Erin?).

The level of “get outta here” was unbelievable (private schools, where everyone got along, being polite always leads to people coming to understanding).

I esp. liked the logical matter/anti-matter of her father.

P1: Denying custody to a parent = oppression
P2: Her father was, therefore oppressed.

C: Ergo “Justice” requires her father be given custody: thus oppressing her father’s ex-wife.

So, we see that Elizabeth thinks oppression is just ducks, so long as it’s a woman being oppressed (using Elizabeth’s definition of oppression).

Pear_tree
Pear_tree
10 years ago

Sorry I got confused. The charity she mentioned was Refuge. I’m sorry

Steph
Steph
10 years ago

Wow, I cannot believe what I just heard. That’s insane. These people say these things without even thinking they sound crazy, that’s how insane the MRM echo chamber is.

Kingfillins
Kingfillins
10 years ago

That completely misrepresents the conference and those speaking there… who is trying to insight hate here? Well its you… if you are saying that men are not welcome unless they say what you deem acceptable…If you dont support masculinism how can equality be achieved through a biased lens? Double standards abound… lets have a slut walk to celebrate.

pallygirl
pallygirl
10 years ago

WTF did I just read? Is GWW sockpuppeting as Kingfillins?

wewereemergencies
wewereemergencies
10 years ago

Also Steph no ableism here please and thank you.

titianblue
titianblue
10 years ago

Somebody stop me before I take a red pen to all of Kingfillins’ spelling & punctuation errors!

That completely misrepresents the conference and those speaking there… who is trying to insight hate here?

Oooh, I know the answer to that one – that would be the MRAs.

Well its you…

Erm, no. Citation needed.

if you are saying that men are not welcome unless they say what you deem acceptable…

Where does David say that? Or are you complaining that sexist, racist, ableist, rape-apolist & trolling commenters of any gender are unwelcome, even if they’re men? Why would that be inciting hatred? Surely that is telling the inciters of hatred that they are wrong?

If you dont support masculinism how can equality be achieved through a biased lens?

FTFY

Double standards abound… lets have a slut walk to celebrate.

Yep, double standards abound. And you obviously do not understand what a slut walk is.

Viscaria
Viscaria
10 years ago

That completely misrepresents the conference and those speaking there…

I’m not sure what you’re responding to. To borrow a phrase, can you be more specific professor of lies?

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
10 years ago

That completely misrepresents the conference and those speaking there…

No, it doesn’t. Look again. Those are things the conference speakers actually believe. This is not taken out of context, this is not misinterpreted. This is who they are. Congratulations for your choice of allies.

who is trying to insight hate here?

Did you mean:

insight into hate

insight rate

incite hate

Well its you…

Did you mean:

Well is you

Weaning its young

Well, it’s you

if you are saying that men are not welcome unless they say what you deem acceptable…

*Sigh* David is a man. I am a man (punch). Many commenters here are men. We are quite welcome here. Actually, men in general are welcome in most places, that’s part of how male privilege works.

How to recognize entitlement born of male privilege: tell a man he’s not welcome somewhere, lean back and enjoy the arglebargle about men being opressed and not welcome unless they bow down to the gynocracy and blah blah.

Then again, misogynists, like other bigots, should not feel welcome in most places.

If you dont support masculinism how can equality be achieved through a biased lens?

If I understand your phrasing correctly, you are under the impression that in order to achieve equality, we must seek to perpetuate harmful gender roles and gender dichotomies, instead of dismantling them and just letting everyone be what they are, not what they’re led to believe they should be. Which is part of what feminism is trying to achieve. The MRM is all about not challenging any existing beliefs and structural hierarchies based on gender, which is why its status as a ”movement” is shaky at best.

I am a man who doesn’t support masculinism, because I have a pretty good idea of what is meant by ”masculinism”. Hint: It’s something disgusting.

Double standards abound… lets have a slut walk to celebrate.

Lolwut

BTW, what’s with all the ellipses? I guess I should be grateful they are not the regular two-dot kind, but still.

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

Blarg, nice try trolly, but fuck off with your “masculinism” — we hate the men’s rights movement, because it’s no such thing — it’s a movement of misogyny and hatred, not one focused on men’s issues. Don’t try to claim masculinists under your hateful banner.

To everyone else — masculinist is the label adopted by, near as I can tell, the people actually working in men’s issues such as the suicide rate — I’ve yet to see one be a hateful asshole, I have seen them distance themselves from MRAs. I’m sure asshole ones exist, but they seem to be decent people whose views largely align with feminism, but are focused on how toxic masculinity hurts men (which, being men, is, imo, a good way to go about doing feminism)

tinyorc
10 years ago

Anarchonist:

No, it doesn’t. Look again. Those are things the conference speakers actually believe. This is not taken out of context, this is not misinterpreted.

Ah, you appear to have forgotten that in magical MRA topsy-turvy land, quoting verbatim several paragraphs of real things that people have said with a highly visible link to the sources in all-caps is – in fact – misinterpreting them.