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a voice for men a woman is always to blame antifeminism antifeminist women erin pizzey evil women excusing abuse FemRAs GirlWritesWhat imaginary oppression men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA paul elam playing the victim rape rape culture warren farrell

Voices of Hatred: A look at the noxious views of six of the speakers at A Voice for Men's upcoming conference

Curious about the views of the people scheduled to speak at A Voice for Men’s “Men’s Issues” conference next week? Here’s a little video guide. CONTENT WARNING: Domestic violence, rape, incest.

If you’d like to have their quotes in writing for future reference, here’s a transcript of the quotes used in the video. I’ve linked to the source of each quote (or to posts of mine that discuss the quotes in greater detail). Enjoy!

Mike Buchanan has said:

I believe girls learn at a young age that whining gets them what they want, especially from over-indulgent parents who might later wonder why their daughters became Entitlement Princesses. Inevitably these girls continue whining into adolescence and adulthood because they continue to get what they want. It’s up to men to break the cycle …

Men living in houses with cellars can put a sign on the cellar door, ‘The Whine Cellar’, and politely direct whining women towards it. In houses without a cellar, the smallest room in the house – or possibly the garden shed – could be designated ‘The Whine Box’.

Mike Buchanan is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Mike Buchanan is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Buchanan’s quote

Stefan Molyneux has said:

Women who choose the assholes will fucking end this race. They will fucking end this human race, if we don’t start holding them a-fucking-ccountable. … Women who choose assholes guarantee child abuse. Women who choose assholes guarantee criminality, sociopathy. Politicians, all the cold-hearted jerks who run the world came out of the vaginas of women who married assholes.

And I don’t know how to make the world a better place without holding women accountable for choosing assholes. Your dad was an asshole because your mother chose him. Because it works on so many women. If “asshole” wasn’t a great reproductive strategy it would have been gone long ago. Women keep that black bastard flame alive. They cup their hands around it, they protect it with their bodies. They keep the evil of the species going by continually choosing these guys.

If being an asshole didn’t get women, there would be no assholes left. If women chose nice guys over assholes we would have a glorious and peaceful world in one generation. Women determine the personality traits of the men because women choose who to have sex with, and who to have children with, and who to expose those children to. …

Your dad is who he is fundamentally because your mother was willing to fuck him and have you. Willing and eager to fuck the monster. Stop fucking monsters and we get a great world. Keep fucking monsters, we get catastrophes, we get war, we get nuclear weapons, we get national debt, we get incarcerations … Women worship at the feet of the devil and wonder why the world is evil. And then you know what they say? We’re victims!

Stefan Molyneux is a scheduled speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men.

Stefan Molyneux is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Molyneux’s quote. NOTE: The text above is a more complete version of the slightly truncated quote used in the video, which was edited for clarity, for length, and to remove some repetition.

Erin Pizzey has said:

If you’re referring to Paul’s statement that many or most women fantasize about being taken, I’m sorry but that’s the truth. That doesn’t mean they want to be raped, but it’s a fantasy I think almost all women have. And I think he went on to say that feminists like Andrea Dworkin who were and are so obsessed with rape are really projecting their own unconscious sexual frustration because men don’t give them enough attention. Andrea was a very sad lonely woman like this–I didn’t know her but I knew of her, and I knew Susan Browmiller and you can just read her stuff to see it there.

Erin Pizzey is a scheduled speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Erin Pizzey is a voice of hatred

SOURCE of Pizzey’s quote. NOTE: The text above is a complete version of the slightly truncated quote used in the video, which was edited for clarity.

Karen Straughan has written:

I used to live under a young couple with a baby. I’d listen as she followed him from room to room upstairs, stomping, slamming things, throwing things, screaming. After about an hour, he’d eventually hit her, and everything would go quiet. An hour after that, they’d be out with the baby in the stroller, looking perfectly content with each other.

A man I know who has experience with men in abusive relationships would get his clients to answer a questionnaire. Things like, “after the violence, did you have sex?” “If so, how would you rate the sex?” 100% of men in reciprocally abusive relationships said “yes” to the first, and “scorching” to the second.

He also posited that the much-quoted cycle of violence–the build-up, the explosion, the honeymoon period–correlates with foreplay, orgasm and post-coital bliss.

Erin Pizzey called it “consensual violence”, and said in the main, that was the type she’d see at her shelter. It is also the type that results in the most severe injuries in women, surprise surprise, likely because our “never EVER hit a woman” mentality has those men waiting until they completely lose control of their emotions before giving their women what they’re demanding.

Karen Straughan is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Karen Straughan is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Straughan’s quote.

Warren Farrell has said:

The worst aspect of dating from the perspective of many men is how dating can feel to a man like robbery by social custom …

Evenings of paying to be rejected can feel like a male version of date rape.

If a man ignoring a woman’s verbal “no” is committing date rape, then a woman who says “no” with her verbal language but “yes” with her body language is committing date fraud. …

We have forgotten that before we began calling this date rape and date fraud, we called it exciting.

Somehow, women’s romance novels are not titled He Stopped When I Said “No”. They are, though, titled Sweet Savage Love, in which the woman rejects the hand of her gentler lover who saves her from the rapist and marries the man who repeatedly and savagely rapes her. …

It is important that a woman’s “noes” be respected and her “yeses” be respected. And it is also important when her nonverbal “yeses” … conflict with those verbal “noes” that the man not be put in jail for choosing the “yes” over the “no.” He might just be trying to become her fantasy.

Warren Farrell is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Warren Farrell is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Farrell’s quote.

Warren Farrell has said:

Incest is like a magnifying glass. In some circumstances it magnifies the beauty of the relationship, and in others it magnifies the trauma. …

When I get my most glowing positive cases, 6 out of 200, the incest is part of the family’s open, sensual style of life, wherein sex is an outgrowth of warmth and affection. …

[M]illions of people who are now refraining from touching, holding, and … caressing their children, when that is really a part of a caring, loving expression, are repressing the sexuality of a lot of children and themselves. Maybe this needs repressing, and maybe it doesn’t.

Warren Farrell is a speaker at the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit organized by A Voice for Men

Warren Farrell is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Farrell’s quote. I have removed a word that appears in the original interview but that Farrell insists he did not say.

Paul Elam has said:

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess.

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong.

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Paul Elam is the central organizer of the “Men’s Issues” conference in Detroit, and the founder of A Voice for Men

Paul Elam is a voice of hatred

SOURCE for Elam’s quote.

For a detailed look at the homophobia of Anne Cools, another speaker at the conference, see here.

Big thanks to everyone who helped with the video!

 

 

 

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woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

FIRST !

woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

okay ….. all of the people that feature in this video have said mean things about women. obviously no one has ever said mean things – or generalised about men.

the argument starts here.

Falconer
6 years ago

FIRST !

Have a cookie.

the argument starts here.

You have no argument. “BOTH SIDES!” is no argument.

Nan
Nan
6 years ago

Iiiiiiiiii think I need to go scrub my brain out with cute pictures of marmoset polyandry now.

Bostonian
Bostonian
6 years ago

Where are the nonviolent MRAs? You never provided any.

magnesium
magnesium
6 years ago

okay ….. all of the people that feature in this video have said mean things about women. obviously no one has ever said mean things – or generalised about men.

So the fact that there are humans out there somewhere who may or may not have at one time said something bad about men (you provide zero sources, so we’re going to have to take your word for it) excuses a self proclaimed human rights conference hosting six open, vocal misogynists? And one homophobe. Thems some interesting logicks, you got there, fella.

Bostonian
Bostonian
6 years ago

All MRAs advocate for violence. Some advocate for rape, some for domestic violence, some for child rape or for all of the above. No mainstream feminists have ever advocated for violence the way the mainstream of the MRM does.
No one has ever shown anyone a nonviolent MRA.

woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

@ auggziliary – Im a man – I abuse everything – including punctuation. grrrrr

Children of the Broccoli
Children of the Broccoli
6 years ago

These are not fringe members of the MRA. These are speakers at AVFM’s conference. If you want to argue “both sides”, we need quotes from speakers at a major feminist conference, not Tumblr or RadFemHub.

Howard Bannister
6 years ago

False equivalence, AGAIN.

Not ‘some feminists say’ … it has to be ‘some feminists PICKED TO BE THE SPEAKERS AT A LARGE FEMINIST GATHERING say.’ Something equivalent. Bannerholders! Handpicked! The ones getting the accolades and attention!

brooked
brooked
6 years ago

Also, why the punctuation abuse?

Wait, ellipses with five dots aren’t a thing?

woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

Well as Im your resident MRA for the day – and, as such the general absorbent for your abuse and anger, I must say – Im a strong supporter of all the people featured in this video.

take them out of context as much as you like – I really do agree with their respective points of view – and I do follow them on their channels and blogs.

what do you think about that, manboobz ?

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

Woody red,
Mean things?
Saying a mean thing is when you say that someone’s haircut looks like it was done with a weed wacker or that they look like they got dressed drunk with the lights off.

Stating that their is a class of people who deserve to be raped, beaten and otherwise abused and blamed for all the bad things, is hate speech.

You just defended hate speech.

You’re a dim witted bigot who doesn’t know that the “First!” thing was never funny and that even kids know was played out last year. You read about bigots suggesting that raping your own children was “sensual” and “affectionate” and that men should slap their wives around and your first response was to tell a bad joke. You think your clever, but the failure mode of clever is asshole. You failed. You’re an asshole.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

“Mean things about women.”

Karen Straughan saying women want to get beaten and bring abuse on themselves is saying mean things about women.

Erin Pizzey and Warren Farrell saying women want to be raped is saying mean things about women.

Mike Buchanan saying that men need to treat women like whining children is saying mean things about women.

Paul Elam “satirizing” violence against women is saying mean things about women.

Stefan Molyneux completely blaming women for all bad things that have happened ever – even the bad things that men have done – and blaming women for the destruction of the human race is saying mean things about women.

None of that is hatred of women, misogyny if you will. It’s saying “mean things” about women.

And it’s perfectly ok that a movement calling itself a human rights movement has invited all these people to speak at their “international conference,” – which to MRAs, seems to be a pretty important thing and a big deal – so, inviting all these people who have said these “mean things” about women is perfectly ok because sometimes random people and random feminists say mean things about men.

That’s woodyred’s argument here, right?

Ally S
6 years ago

You all have lovely voices. Also, woody is a fucking idiot.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

woodyred:

take them out of context as much as you like – I really do agree with their respective points of view – and I do follow them on their channels and blogs.

How is Molyneux being taken out if context?

In what context is blaming women for all the evils of the world perfectly understandable?

woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

@Ally S ~ ♥

Taino
Taino
6 years ago

Per the video, is the desire to get the conference cancelled based on these quotes? If so, the very people those quotes are addressing are the protesters themselves, that is – feminists. That could be the reason so much of the blog rhetoric out there have phrases like “butt hurt whiners” or similar. In this case, wouldn’t it be better for the protesters to include many others who merely don’t like the quotes on principle but are not the ones being attacked by the MRAs?

Ally S
6 years ago

Are you, like, trying to behave like a YouTube commenter for the sake of being likable? I hope not.

Ally S
6 years ago

@woody*

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong.

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

This is why the “it was satire” argument falls flat.

Fibinachi
6 years ago

Well as Im your resident MRA for the day – and, as such the general absorbent for your abuse and anger, I must say – Im a strong supporter of all the people featured in this video.

take them out of context as much as you like – I really do agree with their respective points of view – and I do follow them on their channels and blogs.

what do you think about that, manboobz ?

That it’s a little sad that, in your attempt at reconciling problems facing men with your understanding of the world, you choose to support people who will throw you under a bus to inflate their egos and rip and tear at everything pretending at decency.

It appalls me that someone claiming abuse cycles are like sex, or that women marrying assholes means they are to blame for wars, catastrophes and suffering is thought of as a person worthy of “strong support”.

It appalls me that someone thinks Warren Farrell – a guy who literally claims in his literature that avoiding the draft means you’ll be raped and get aids by deviant homosexuals in prison – is worthy of your “strong support”.

It surprises me you choose to stick with this view. I wonder why. It’s almost as if the ideas don’t matter, who they are don’t matter, as long as you get to claim that they’re fighting the good fight against dastardly feminists then, hey, Paul Elam’s “Fucking whores” or Mike Buchanan’s “Entitlement Princesses degrade the financial performance of companies because women are too stupid to be board members” is on the same level as a given feminist saying that men are bad.

I think you use their atrocious view points to prop up your own lacklustre world, because you don’t actually like women, or men, or people, and pretending that you live in a world as hollow, empty and cold as these people claim is a soothing balm that allows you to say stuff like “I’m a man, I abuse everything” and a) mean it and b) not wonder how fucking wrong that is.

That’s what I think. I also have opinions on the world debt, proper feng shui and just what constitutes the right equipment for a knightly joust (No, Steve, you can’t fucking bring a zweihander to our sword and shield match? ARE YOU TAKING THE PISS? What is that stuff on your legs? Chain-mail? Plate or hate! Don’t bring your rings, you’ll lose your digits and things!).

So yeah. Contempt.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
6 years ago

I listened to hundreds of hours of Stefan Molyneux’s podcasts back in the day, and I never heard him say anything like that. He said sexist things, to be sure, but, well, wow. He’s really gone off the deep end. I’m so glad I made my way away from people like him.

saintnick86
saintnick86
6 years ago

@woodyred:

Do you think you’re somehow “more special” than any of the other trolls that come through here? As if you are somehow more clever or witty than any one that came before? You aren’t. You’re playing from the same exact playbook and just about as intellectually lazy – if not moreso than usual. It’s tiring to have people like you comment at all, as none of you add anything of significance, and not just let everyone else have an actual discussion. You’re like a fly that annoyingly keeps buzzing around a person’s head that you need to constantly swat at to get rid of, only to come back to only agitate further.

“But feminists are just as bad!” doesn’t mean a goddamn thing when you don’t provide examples (probably ’cause there isn’t) and white-wash some pretty horrific statements as only “mean” (as if they were throwing schoolyard insults). Even if you were to scramble for some quotes they would, like most other anti-feminist quotes by MRAs, be utterly misattributed or taken out of context. I mean, shit, the last list of “feminist quotes” I saw had fictional characters – not actual feminists – as examples for “misandry.” My guess is you’ll claim that the incompetent fathers from sitcoms are some kind of example of “oppression” men experience that, somehow, is greater than the mistreatment women have experienced in the past (and even now). Cry me a fucking river…

woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

@ Fibinachi – you know, you think Im crazy, right ? – well I think youre crazy – “avoiding the draft means you’ll be raped and get aids by deviant homosexuals in prison” – when did Warren Farrell say this ?? can you please cite a source.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

I do solemnly swear never to type in anger before at least one cup off coffee ever again.
I apologize for the sloppiness of my comment.
It’s hard to believe, I know, but even I have standards and that was beneath them.

coffee now
coffee good

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

What the frak is Molyneux even trying to say? This is a bad evo psych argument right? Apparently he thinks there is an asshole gene. It must lie on the Y chromosome because his argument seems to be that asshole fathers pass the asshole gene down to their asshole sons (and that’s women’s fault somehow).

I don’t suppose he has actual evidence an asshole gene exists?

Haha. Of course not. Of course it’s assfax.

Has he not met nice people raised by assholes? Or assholes raised by nice people? Has it not occurred to him that some of asshole behavior comes from socialization and not genetics?

There is nothing more annoying than pseudoscientific bigotry.

woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

@saintnick86 – Im still reading through your post – but in response to the opening sentence – yes, I am more witty than the trolls that pass through here. if we agree on nothing else today, we should at least agree on this point.

woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

one MRA vs 20 feminists. ha. I’ll do my best guys – I cant field all your criticism at once. cut me some slack

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Isn’t it cute that Woodyred was bragging about progressive his country (the UK) is in the other thread when he’s in this thread proclaiming support for a bunch of regressive reactionaries?

saintnick86
saintnick86
6 years ago

Im still reading through your post – but in response to the opening sentence – yes, I am more witty than the trolls that pass through here. if we agree on nothing else today, we should at least agree on this point.

Dude, learn to read – I didn’t say you were wittier than other trolls. I’m saying you are just as childish as all the other ones, under the delusion you are somehow different.

So, no, it is not something we should “at least agree on this point.” Because it isn’t the case at all.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
6 years ago

@ woodyred — “I’m in out of my depth, and that’s the fault of the water!”

Ally S
6 years ago

“yes, I am more witt-”

No.

grumpycatisagirl
6 years ago

Like Ally said, the voices in the video are lovely. Makes me want to hear them say much lovelier things.

woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

Well – I’ll tell you what – I havent even watched this video – but each of the speakers – I have watched pretty much every video they have made – they are not misogynists – or women haters – or racist – or homophobic – I’ll tell you what – I will watch the damn video – brb

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

@ Fibinachi – you know, you think Im crazy, right ? – well I think youre crazy – “avoiding the draft means you’ll be raped and get aids by deviant homosexuals in prison” – when did Warren Farrell say this ?? can you please cite a source.

He said it in The Myth of Male Power. You support the man but never read his most well-known book?

Once in prison, your son’s nubile, young body combined with his reputation for not fighting makes him a perfect candidate for homosexual rape and, therefore, AIDS. In brief, he is subject to being killed. …

Do male-only draft registration and combat requirements amount, then, to the legalized rape of men? Yes. (p. 135, Myth of Male Power, 1993 hardcover edition)

Quoted from here

I don’t have access to the book, which is why I’m pointing you to David’s article. I know you don’t believe him, but he does provide page number and edition so you should be able to find it in Farrel’s book.

If a boy refuses to register for the draft when he turns 18, he can be barred from all federal jobs–from the US Post Office to the FBI.[v] He faces a fine of up to $250,000 and five years in prison.[vi] Once in prison, a young man’s nubile, young body combined with his reputation for not fighting makes him a perfect candidate for homosexual rape and, therefore, AIDS. In brief, he is subject to being killed. Why? He was too sensitive to kill.

From here.

Farrel really seems to like this argument.

Ally S
6 years ago

Why – the – fuck – do – you – keep – using – dashes – ?

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
6 years ago

Well – I’ll tell you what – I havent even watched this video

http://giphy.com/gifs/Zao5Pr0qlJg2s

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Just out of curiosity Woodyred; what would qualify as misogynist or homophobic to you? You keep denying that blatantly bigoted things are bigoted. I’d really like to know what constitutes going over the line for you.

fromafar2013
6 years ago

@ Lea

coffee now
coffee good

I’m working from home today, so I skipped the coffee.

Went straight for the wine. ;D

Typing up linux server documentation while drunk! It’s a good Friday!

Sadly, I can’t spend too much time on chew toy trolls today. Have fun, ya’ll!

woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

No no no no no – you people cant be serious with that video. you people are insane. thats brainwashing – do you people sit and listen to and watch video like THIS all day ?? thats insane. please one of you explain to me – what that video I just watched was. tell me now.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Ooh a Mystery Science Theater gif! Those guys are from my metro area. My heart always swells with pride when they get internet references.

Johanna Roberts
6 years ago

That video needed a trigger warning for the incest quote that it did not have! I feel sick to my stomach now. >__< Thanks for the flashback. All those people can go jump off a cliff.

racnad
racnad
6 years ago

While I don’t agree with everything in the quotes in this post, they do bring up several inconvenient truths for feminists – that the dynamics of human nature, relationships and how women behave and respond often do not conform to feminist theory.

Tracy
Tracy
6 years ago

@Woodyred is from the UK, where everyone is witty by default. I’ll bet he’s doing the fish slapping dance as we speak.

woodyred
woodyred
6 years ago

@ Ally S – dashes ….. I dont know why I use them – I try to write like how I would like it heard in someones head – or if I was speaking. the dashes – and the ……. dots – are pauses or punctuations. idk

Ally S
6 years ago

I would rather watch a 10-hour fish-slapping tournament than hear woody try to act like he’s witty.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

Why are trolls always so ableist?

So, woodyred, please explain how quoting people, in their own words, is brainwashing?

That video is literally reading out loud things that the speakers at this conference has said.

How is that brainwashing? How is directly quoting someone brainwashing?

magnesium
magnesium
6 years ago

Shorter Woody red: I support all of these people. I’ve never read any of their publications, listened to any of their speeches, and I am not at all familiar with any of their opinions or positions on the issues that I pretend to care about. But they hate all the same people as me, so, I’ll just go ahead and defend them and the things they say.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
6 years ago

@ weirwoodtreehugger — Awesome! The MST3K Movie was a perennial favourite amongst my circle of friends back in the 1990s. It wasn’t until a few years back that I got access to the series as a whole. Friggin’ genius!

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