I was responding to you saying Unimaginative’s experience isn’t universal. Neither is yours: how do you know it applies here? Tracy’s comment wasn’t about you but two people have felt you’re getting defensive about it, when it wasn’t an attack or a Ur Doin Depression Rong in any way.
Marie, I’m going to have lunch now. I’m sorry to have said anything: I don’t want to distress you but it sounds like that’s what I’ve achieved. I apologise for that.
? Tracy’s comment wasn’t about you but two people have felt you’re getting defensive about it, when it wasn’t an attack or a Ur Doin Depression Rong in any way.
Yeah, I didn’t think it was a fucking attack or a ‘ur doing depression rong’ but thanks for not acutally reading what I said.
Because seriously all I’ve been trying to say was I don’t know if it’s far to blame him (Which I don’t even know if tracy was doing, i couldn’t tell from teh phrasing) for not giving a heads up on not beign able to work from being fucking depressed.
And when did “V” become the generally acceptable way to refer to female genitalia?
pallygirl
10 years ago
I’ve never heard of V before, but I do find a lot of terms differ depending on country.
pallygirl
10 years ago
I got this one linked for me today, I did find it funny:
marinerachel
10 years ago
Oh god, I just died. That was magical.
pallygirl
10 years ago
No-one threw me a first moon party. 🙁 I feel so deprived.
lensman
10 years ago
@Ally S
I just read the previous thread. I literally have no words.
If the letter idea is not feasible, I wonder if getting your sister a cheap pre-configured chinese tablet as a present in order to have a small line of communication with her is a good idea.
By the way… I am reading your blog and I can safely say…
You are an amazing person and a great writer. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different (and that includes yourself)
@Marie
I had a bout with depression a few years back. It’s nasty and insidious. I tried to get psychological help from my hospital’s resident psychologist. It ended up blowing on my face, because my department’s administrator alerted my father, who was a really big name in the hospital at the time. I’d rather not describe what happened next.
Apparently, the problem was not that I was seeing a psychologist, but that I was seeing a psychologist inside the very hospital I was working in (the ONLY hospital in my island btw) and rumours would inevitably start circulating which would affect his standing there. But, at my pay, I really couldn’t afford anything else.
So I stopped my therapy sessions (which sucks because I was just making progress at the time) and it still feels like I have this big poisonous viper in my head that strikes me when I am least expecting it. It’s gotten to a point where I can’t even enjoy things I used to love years ago (Anime, Books, Video Games). The only thing that keeps me going is my daughter, but I keep wondering if she would be better off without me. What use is a depressed father, anyway?
Sorry about that… All I’m saying is… Depression is dead serious. Please, keep your friends near you (including the virtual ones).
Apparently, the problem was not that I was seeing a psychologist, but that I was seeing a psychologist inside the very hospital I was working in (the ONLY hospital in my island btw) and rumours would inevitably start circulating which would affect his standing there.
lensman, cripes, that’s just … so much WTFery.
pallygirl
10 years ago
@lensman: agreeing with kittehserf here. A couple of points:
– professional ethics means that the fact you were having psychology sessions, let alone their content, should have been kept confidential
– any hospital where staff view another staff member differently if that member’s child is seeking psychological help is fucked up on so many levels that I can’t begin to count. Health professionals, at the very least, should fucking have a better grip on how they view individuals and families seeking psychological help. Words fail me at this point,
I have begun to question whether I’m truly allistic. I may have some form of mild autism, which isn’t a bad thing to me (although the extreme stigma against AS people is awful). I have passionate special interests that shift over time, occasionally find myself unaware if someone wants to continue a discussion about certain interests of mine, make strange noises on my own very often out of amusement, have strong preferences for specificity in language and intellectual analyses, and find a lot of ordinary social situations difficult. Hell, I even know cis men who have walked up to me and insulted me for being “completely aspie” and whatnot. I could be wrong, but either way I think I am going through an interesting period of self-understanding.
Also, I’m starting hormones next week. Yay!!!
wewereemergencies
10 years ago
Ally yay for self-understanding and hormones! Boo for shitty strangers 🙁 But mostly yay!
I hope tonight we do something like this. No broken glasses needing $$$$ to mend, no disturbances, no fucking awful governments, just things the way they should be.
Not that a picnic’s essential, just being at Home is all it could be. I just wish I could spontaneously remember.
lensman
10 years ago
@Ally S
Good luck on discovering yourself.
Best of luck with your hormone therapy! Make sure you get checked regularly and instantly report anything abnormal that shows up on your body (other than what is expected from hormone therapy).
Oh, and f**k rude strangers. I am sure this is the same type of guy who honks at women on the street.
As a side-note seriously, what are those street-honkers thinking?
My best guess is:
“OK, I am going to honk at this woman, and then she will latch onto the back of my car while I am speeding at 80mph. She will then pull out her lipstick and write her mobile phone number on my rear window so that I can ask her out when they take her out of the hospital. OH YEAH! THAT’S HOW I ROLL!”
@pallygirl
I agree. Ultimately it was my Department Administrator’s fault for telling my father that I was attending therapy sessions. I really don’t know why she did this. Maybe it was to show my father that she really cared about me so she could get further promoted, and finally retire with a good retirement fund (it’s what happened afterwards). But, yeah, it was unethical and unprofessional on her part.
Also, make no mistake, the rest of the hospital staff finding out I was attending therapy sessions would also affect my own standing at the hospital. Psychotherapy is still a big taboo here is Greece, and people don’t tend to trust your judgement very much when they are informed that you are being treated -even for something like depression.
And, yeah, the hospital I work in is pretty fucked up. I’ve seen people get mocked and isolated for no other reason that they are considered outsiders or simply because they got on an “old stander’s” nerves. I’ve seen whispering campaigns going haywire.
Thankfully, this sort of thing doesn’t seem to affect our medical performance, much, but still… It’s a Doc eat Doc world!
@kittehserf
Pic-Nic’s are awesome. I suggest some mavrodaphne Wine as it can still taste great when served at summer temperatures. Just make sure you don’t drive anything afterwards, it packs quite a kick!
My father is not such a bad guy. It’s just that he used to have the unfortunate tendency to care a lot about what others thought about him. He has since let go of this, and he has made a conscious effort to get closer to me and my brother, which I greatly appreciated. Ultimately, he is a good, hard-working but flawed person whose main mistake as a father was that he was largely absent for a big part of our lives. Every time I see him come and play with my daughter, I smile and feel a warmth in my heart because I see glimpses of the father he had always wanted to be.
wewereemergencies
10 years ago
I hope you have a lovely night also kittehs!
pallygirl
10 years ago
@lensman: you sound like you’ve worked through a lot of the issues with that, I wasn’t aware of what country you were in (I had guessed Iceland or Greenland, so I clearly have no psychic abilities whatsoever). I wish counselling was viewed with the same lens as treatment for physical injuries, when there is finally no stigma in seeking treatment I will consider that my society has matured.
It’s lovely he has a good relationship with your daughter.
I hope you’re well, your writing sounds like you’re in a good space at the moment and I hope that’s true. 🙂
Lensman, that stinks. Sounds like the word toxic was invented for the atmosphere at your hospital. 🙁 But seconding pallygirl, I’m glad your father’s made the effort to get closer to you and your brother and daughter.
No fear of driving after a picnic for Louis (aka Mr Kittehs) and me – this all happens across the veil (don’t know if you’re familiar with that term – call it astral travel, Spirit, Heaven, paradise, they all apply) and mercifully cars are Not a Thing where we live there!
Funny thing, I always used to think he’d be into cars and had images of him spending masses of time tinkering with the things: he was always into mechanical stuff and making things. Nope! Not even slightly interested, as it turns out. Probably just as well, I like seeing more of him than a pair of legs sticking out from under a car.
We Hunted The Mammoth
@kittehs
okay your last comment makes 0 sense to me. so um…what?
Not always, not even often. But sometimes, yes.
I was responding to you saying Unimaginative’s experience isn’t universal. Neither is yours: how do you know it applies here? Tracy’s comment wasn’t about you but two people have felt you’re getting defensive about it, when it wasn’t an attack or a Ur Doin Depression Rong in any way.
Marie, I’m going to have lunch now. I’m sorry to have said anything: I don’t want to distress you but it sounds like that’s what I’ve achieved. I apologise for that.
@kittehs
Yeah, I didn’t think it was a fucking attack or a ‘ur doing depression rong’ but thanks for not acutally reading what I said.
Because seriously all I’ve been trying to say was I don’t know if it’s far to blame him (Which I don’t even know if tracy was doing, i couldn’t tell from teh phrasing) for not giving a heads up on not beign able to work from being fucking depressed.
ugh and I’m sorry for stirring shit up here. I don’t even think I mad eany sense.
I’m just a fucking wreck today.
Sorry agin.
Yeah, I’m not doing great either, today.
Mutual sorry and hugs?
@kittehs
mutual sorry at least
I’m not mad at you. I just don’t want virtual hugs right now
I’m hugging both of you! And giving the cats cuddles from both of you. 🙂
Okay, the hugs can go in the barrel for later.
::accepts pallygirl and kitty hugs::
Anyone else really disappointed by this commercial: http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=kp&v=FczvmLnBTEs
And when did “V” become the generally acceptable way to refer to female genitalia?
I’ve never heard of V before, but I do find a lot of terms differ depending on country.
I got this one linked for me today, I did find it funny:
Oh god, I just died. That was magical.
No-one threw me a first moon party. 🙁 I feel so deprived.
@Ally S
I just read the previous thread. I literally have no words.
If the letter idea is not feasible, I wonder if getting your sister a cheap pre-configured chinese tablet as a present in order to have a small line of communication with her is a good idea.
By the way… I am reading your blog and I can safely say…
You are an amazing person and a great writer. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different (and that includes yourself)
@Marie
I had a bout with depression a few years back. It’s nasty and insidious. I tried to get psychological help from my hospital’s resident psychologist. It ended up blowing on my face, because my department’s administrator alerted my father, who was a really big name in the hospital at the time. I’d rather not describe what happened next.
Apparently, the problem was not that I was seeing a psychologist, but that I was seeing a psychologist inside the very hospital I was working in (the ONLY hospital in my island btw) and rumours would inevitably start circulating which would affect his standing there. But, at my pay, I really couldn’t afford anything else.
So I stopped my therapy sessions (which sucks because I was just making progress at the time) and it still feels like I have this big poisonous viper in my head that strikes me when I am least expecting it. It’s gotten to a point where I can’t even enjoy things I used to love years ago (Anime, Books, Video Games). The only thing that keeps me going is my daughter, but I keep wondering if she would be better off without me. What use is a depressed father, anyway?
Sorry about that… All I’m saying is… Depression is dead serious. Please, keep your friends near you (including the virtual ones).
lensman, cripes, that’s just … so much WTFery.
@lensman: agreeing with kittehserf here. A couple of points:
– professional ethics means that the fact you were having psychology sessions, let alone their content, should have been kept confidential
– any hospital where staff view another staff member differently if that member’s child is seeking psychological help is fucked up on so many levels that I can’t begin to count. Health professionals, at the very least, should fucking have a better grip on how they view individuals and families seeking psychological help. Words fail me at this point,
Hugs to all that want them. And kitty smooches.
I have begun to question whether I’m truly allistic. I may have some form of mild autism, which isn’t a bad thing to me (although the extreme stigma against AS people is awful). I have passionate special interests that shift over time, occasionally find myself unaware if someone wants to continue a discussion about certain interests of mine, make strange noises on my own very often out of amusement, have strong preferences for specificity in language and intellectual analyses, and find a lot of ordinary social situations difficult. Hell, I even know cis men who have walked up to me and insulted me for being “completely aspie” and whatnot. I could be wrong, but either way I think I am going through an interesting period of self-understanding.
Also, I’m starting hormones next week. Yay!!!
Ally yay for self-understanding and hormones! Boo for shitty strangers 🙁 But mostly yay!
I hope tonight we do something like this. No broken glasses needing $$$$ to mend, no disturbances, no fucking awful governments, just things the way they should be.
Not that a picnic’s essential, just being at Home is all it could be. I just wish I could spontaneously remember.
@Ally S
Good luck on discovering yourself.
Best of luck with your hormone therapy! Make sure you get checked regularly and instantly report anything abnormal that shows up on your body (other than what is expected from hormone therapy).
Oh, and f**k rude strangers. I am sure this is the same type of guy who honks at women on the street.
As a side-note seriously, what are those street-honkers thinking?
My best guess is:
“OK, I am going to honk at this woman, and then she will latch onto the back of my car while I am speeding at 80mph. She will then pull out her lipstick and write her mobile phone number on my rear window so that I can ask her out when they take her out of the hospital. OH YEAH! THAT’S HOW I ROLL!”
@pallygirl
I agree. Ultimately it was my Department Administrator’s fault for telling my father that I was attending therapy sessions. I really don’t know why she did this. Maybe it was to show my father that she really cared about me so she could get further promoted, and finally retire with a good retirement fund (it’s what happened afterwards). But, yeah, it was unethical and unprofessional on her part.
Also, make no mistake, the rest of the hospital staff finding out I was attending therapy sessions would also affect my own standing at the hospital. Psychotherapy is still a big taboo here is Greece, and people don’t tend to trust your judgement very much when they are informed that you are being treated -even for something like depression.
And, yeah, the hospital I work in is pretty fucked up. I’ve seen people get mocked and isolated for no other reason that they are considered outsiders or simply because they got on an “old stander’s” nerves. I’ve seen whispering campaigns going haywire.
Thankfully, this sort of thing doesn’t seem to affect our medical performance, much, but still… It’s a Doc eat Doc world!
@kittehserf
Pic-Nic’s are awesome. I suggest some mavrodaphne Wine as it can still taste great when served at summer temperatures. Just make sure you don’t drive anything afterwards, it packs quite a kick!
My father is not such a bad guy. It’s just that he used to have the unfortunate tendency to care a lot about what others thought about him. He has since let go of this, and he has made a conscious effort to get closer to me and my brother, which I greatly appreciated. Ultimately, he is a good, hard-working but flawed person whose main mistake as a father was that he was largely absent for a big part of our lives. Every time I see him come and play with my daughter, I smile and feel a warmth in my heart because I see glimpses of the father he had always wanted to be.
I hope you have a lovely night also kittehs!
@lensman: you sound like you’ve worked through a lot of the issues with that, I wasn’t aware of what country you were in (I had guessed Iceland or Greenland, so I clearly have no psychic abilities whatsoever). I wish counselling was viewed with the same lens as treatment for physical injuries, when there is finally no stigma in seeking treatment I will consider that my society has matured.
It’s lovely he has a good relationship with your daughter.
I hope you’re well, your writing sounds like you’re in a good space at the moment and I hope that’s true. 🙂
wewereemergencies, thank you!
Lensman, that stinks. Sounds like the word toxic was invented for the atmosphere at your hospital. 🙁 But seconding pallygirl, I’m glad your father’s made the effort to get closer to you and your brother and daughter.
No fear of driving after a picnic for Louis (aka Mr Kittehs) and me – this all happens across the veil (don’t know if you’re familiar with that term – call it astral travel, Spirit, Heaven, paradise, they all apply) and mercifully cars are Not a Thing where we live there!
Funny thing, I always used to think he’d be into cars and had images of him spending masses of time tinkering with the things: he was always into mechanical stuff and making things. Nope! Not even slightly interested, as it turns out. Probably just as well, I like seeing more of him than a pair of legs sticking out from under a car.