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off topic open thread

Open Thread for Personal Stuff, June 2014 Edition

Hey, we're huggin here!
Hey, we’re huggin here!

An open thread for personal stuff, continuing from here.

As usual for these threads: no trolls, no arguments.

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strivingally
7 years ago

Since we have an open thread: does anybody know of a good impartial Beginner’s Guide To MRA/PUA/[whatever flavour of misogyny] site? It’s pretty hard to find anybody describing the basics of the “Men’s Rights” origin and general tenets without coming down pretty strongly either approvingly or disparagingly. (FTR I’m all for disparaging these guys at every opportunity, I’m just looking for something with a little more distance and detachment, if that’s possible).

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

Maybe you should queue up some open threads to post automatically on the first of every month. Can you do that in .com wordpress? This is a .com, right? not .org?

kittehserf
7 years ago

strivingally – I don’t know; I first read about the scrotosphere here.

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

I, too, first read about it here.

I just got back online, after a break, and read through the posts of the last couple of weeks. Bleh. Glad I missed it. I’m especially glad I missed the fake-father’s day stuff. Yikes! Father’s Day has always been special to me. I love my Dad.

So, personal stuff, I just “celebrated” Father’s Day, by remembering my dead Dad. He died just about a year ago. It was rather funny, actually. The day the men from church came and put in a ramp for him, because he was in the hospital recovering from an amputation (Note – Ingrown toenails are DANGEROUS!), is the day he fell. He was due to come home in just three days! So, they put in the ramp one day, sat with us at the hospital that night, and then took the ramp out the next day. Happy Father’s Day, Dad! I hope you like it in Heaven.

Actually, I know he does like it in Heaven, because he came to visit my mother, not long after he died. He was happy, and laughing, and she was livid, because she was in her underwear, and he brought friends. LOL. She has no idea who the other two guys were, but Dad was smiling and laughing and having a ball. He was wearing his all-time favorite suit, too. Not white robes, or anything angelic. Nope. He was wearing his favorite green jaeger-suit, from Germany. Heaven is not, apparently, what we were always told. But he’s happy, and he wanted her to know it. She was quite comforted (after she got over being embarrassed about being in her underwear), and told us all about it.

For Father’s Day, in particular, I invited my brother and his family to the pool, my treat. It was a lot of fun, and I got so sunburned, I have been staying in my room, topless, ever since. That was fun on Tuesday, when the missionaries came to dinner. I yelled out, “Is it safe to come out, yet?” because I really had to go to the bathroom, but, like I said – topless. It’s OK with just my Mom and my sisters, because I hold something up in front of my breasts, but those poor young men would have been waaaayyyyyy too scandalized.

Actually, that would have been funny, but I do have to face them on a Sunday, so…

schwadevivre
schwadevivre
7 years ago

Just a note to introduce myself – British, over 60 also known as intaglio and playonwords

feministborgia
7 years ago

Doh!
Sorry posted the link in isolation.
Was wondering if y’all had heard this-Paul Elam stating “consequences” for women are missing; states AVfM/RH will host their personal info/daily routes

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

I just went to the last thread, and read the last page, only, of comments. There are too many to do more than that.

However, I have to say to Ally S. – ALL THE JEDI-HUGS IN THE WORLD!!!!!!

Don’t believe the haters that call themselves your family. You have always been so good and kind to me, and I refuse to believe anyone who says that you are less-than wonderful. So don’t you believe it, either!

As to the letter idea, I second that a letter would be dangerous. But, if you can establish some other form of communication, that might be good. Will your sisters, for example, be able to access this website? You could tell them your screen-name, and to watch out for the monthly personal threads. I don’t know. That might be too public, and easy for them to be caught.

Oh! Idea! Do you play any multi-player online games, with a chat mode? Like Runescape? If so, maybe you could invite your sisters to join you in the game, and you could private chat with them there. The game mods may keep a log, but most of the time mere players aren’t able to log the conversations, so it should be safe enough, with no record for the ‘rents to read later. You can have real ongoing conversations with them, that way, and with screen names that they know, but the ‘rents don’t know, you can keep the whole thing on the sly. Runescape has a play-for-free option, so as long as you can access it on the internet, money won’t be an issue. I chat with my sister that way, sometimes, and she’s only in the next room. But when we’re both playing, it works better than shouting through the walls. We always call each other by our screen names, in case someone else is hanging around on screen. There are alternate ways of chatting, too. Public chat, is just talking for anyone to read, and then there are private messages, and friend chats lines, where anyone who is in the friend group (invited to join) can chat, and then there are private clans. You have several options, so you can get as personal as you want, really, and it’s pretty safe. Of course, my only experience with this is Runescape, but there may be others that will work.

Only you know your real situation. Please be careful. And I hope that things get better in the future, and that your sisters are able to make it through and be stronger at the end. Keep in touch as best you can. At least you have more options nowadays than a few decades ago.

Would you accept prayers, for you and your sisters?

girlscientist
girlscientist
7 years ago

I’ve been able to avoid getting cornered by a creepy ex-coworker at the work conference I’m at! It’s taken some cunning, but so far I’ve managed to avoid being alone with him.

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

Yaaay, girlscientist! I know how hard that can be. Been there, done that. Unfortunately, it caused me to miss out on some stuff I really wanted to do. Hopefully, you will be able to accomplish all your goals for this conference.

Good luck with your continued safety.

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

Also, Ally – I totally sympathize about being high. I’ve been on my pain pills for the last two weeks. It’s hard.

I never could understand why people would get high for fun. I do not find it fun. It’s just too hard to function. But sometimes, it is necessary.

You do what you need to do, and stay safe, please. I like you too much to lose you.

BreakfastMan
BreakfastMan
7 years ago

Things have been going very well for me recently. New job is great, I like all the people I am with. I even got a promotion, of sorts! Things are going just fine in the BreakfastMan household, all things considered. XD

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

@marinerachel – Wow. That person was just… I don’t know. A trainee, maybe? I hope.

Anyway, hopefully they’ll talk to your psych and get it all worked out. You have every right to be ticked off about that. How very unhelpful, and even triggering. YIKES!

Take care.

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

@pallygirl – Congratulations! Good for you!

Kat
Kat
7 years ago

My stepson’s mum took him for 10 days while my partner and I went on holiday. When we got back, it was to various texts bemoaning his behaviour and saying we needed to have a serious talk. We were a bit nonplussed because his behaviour with us (where he spends 60% or more of his time) has been as good as any three year old’s if not significantly better. Apparently he has been talking back, saying “shut up” to everyone, hitting, throwing things and deliberately soiling himself (he is toilet training just now). To cope with these things she came up with this chart and just handed it to us like – this is what you’re going to do. She didn’t even ask if we maybe already had techniques (spoiler: we do). Her techniques are:

First offence: time out
Second offence: TV privileges removed for that day
Third offence: ALL toys confiscated for that day
Fourth offence: removal and confiscation is carried through to the next day to be “earned back”

Did I mention he’s three? Did I also mention that she counts toileting accidents as ‘offences?’ Did I also also mention that he has spontaneously declared “mummy smacks me if I pee myself” multiple times now – we’ve been very careful not to act shocked or sympathetic in case he is lying, but up until now he hasn’t told a lie any more sophisticated than “no, I haven’t just had a sweet so I clearly need another one” or variants on that theme.

We took the chart, we wrote down our rules which have been in place for over a year, and we followed the chart our way. I’m not saying this to be competitive, but her tactic is “punish by removing basic enjoyments” and ours is “special rewards conditional on set good behaviours plus timeouts for general misdeeds after he’s been warned.” Her *three days* on the chart had ten sad faces including two toileting accidents, our *seven days* had five sad faces including zero toileting accidents.

We showed her our side of the chart and our rules and she went berserk and accused us of lying on the chart. In front of the kid, who had been so excited about showing mummy how good he had been.

bunnybunny
7 years ago

I never could understand why people would get high for fun. I do not find it fun. It’s just too hard to function. But sometimes, it is necessary.

Some recreational drug use is “for fun” but also certain people are genetically predisposed to substance abuse and addiction. I’m glad you’re not having that issue with your pain meds, I’ve known too many people who have.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Michelle – that’s so cool that your dad visited your mum, but I am so rolling my eyes that he bowled in with total strangers and didn’t even check if she was dressed! Shades of Truly, Madly, Deeply. 😀

Mind you I think Louis could top that: he was there when I was born. Mum didn’t know, of course, but she wasn’t too impressed when she found out a few years back.

I always thought the idea of white angelic robes very boring – if I had to go for robes I’d go for the sort one sees in some Renaissance paintings, much more colourful. But clothes, actual different clothes, are so much fun. When I first started catching glimpses of Louis, he was in a very simplified version of the sort of style he wore as an adult in his earthly days. Then he started experimenting with mixtures, like jackets that had a fairly 70s vibe to them. For the last few years he’s settled into a pretty basic jeans and tee shirts with lots of lovely knitwear.

I’d love to see him in the sort of full court dress he wore for great occasions, or in the gorgeous armour in his portraits, but I don’t think he’s interested: it’s all too long ago and his earthly memories weren’t exactly happy ones.

Incognita Secunda
7 years ago

Ally, I just want to add my voice to the chorus of people who are telling you how brave you are. I am 40 years old and have only just been managing to build some boundaries for myself with regard to my family’s emotional abuse. What you are doing is shatteringly difficult. Much love to you.

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

@Kat – Wow. I have no words for the step-kid’s mum. Just wow. And I’m very glad the kid spends most of his time with you!

@bunnybunny – yeah, alcoholism actually runs in my family, on BOTH sides. I came thiiiiiiissssss close to being addicted to codeine, when I was 18. I mean, literally counting down “only 23 more hours until my next dose!” Then I heard about my cousin, who actually killed a woman to get drug money. He had just been sentenced to prison. That’s when I vowed I’d rather live with the pain than an addiction, and I threw the medicine away. I spent 20 years with chronic pain, before my accident gave me a different kind of pain, and a different medication to deal with it.

My current medication makes me reeeaaalllllly stupid, and high, but it is not addictive for me. If I’m having a good day, I can go without the meds without any withdrawal symptoms, at all. Unfortunately, I do know that some people are addicted to this same medication. We (my family and I) keep a close eye on it, but it’s been a long time, and I still don’t have withdrawals whenever I don’t need it, so I think it’s a good match for me.

It’s funny how different chemicals can react differently in different people, huh? It’s almost like we’re individuals, or something!

I have to admit, I really do enjoy the feeling of nitrous oxide. It almost (ALMOST) makes it worth getting a cavity. But other than that, I don’t really enjoy the feeling of being high. Not only do I get really stupid, and say and do dumb, or even dangerous, stuff, but it’s just not really fun for me. Maybe it’s a different kind of high? I’ve never done “recreational” drugs, so I don’t have a basis for comparison, I suppose. Nitrous oxide just makes me so darned relaxed, I don’t care if the dentist drills my tongue. It’s not so much “fun” as it is extremely mellow.

I don’t get mellow on my pain meds. I get stupid, and I get more easily upset. Riding in a car – I panic a LOT. But I’m also more observant. As in, I constantly point out things I see, even if they have absolutely no bearing on what’s happening at the moment. “Oh, look! A cow!” If something is bright, colorful, or otherwise pretty, I will comment on it.

Now, my family are highly entertained by me when I’m high. My sister is still laughing about “the noodle incident.” Last week, I had a freak-out melt-down in the middle of the night, when I went to the kitchen for a snack, and saw that someone had put thin spaghetti in the regular spaghetti container, and we had no regular spaghetti in the house, and “It’s a CALAMITY! I don’t know WHY it’s a calamity, because I’m high, but it IIIISSSSS!” Yes, I’m self-aware when I’m high. That was the funniest part for her. Well, for her. My other sister wasn’t nearly so amused, because I woke her up, to ask for her help in comparing spaghetti thicknesses. It’s not my fault she sometimes sleeps with the light on. I thought she was awake. However, she is very understanding and forgiving of me, when it’s clear I’m high. Thank goodness.

A few days ago, I started a sentence, and five words later, couldn’t remember what I was going to say. Laugh riot.

And I frequently go around hugging people, and telling them “I love you.” Mind you, I only do this with people I actually know and love, but I mean, every five minutes, “I love you.” And pat them on the head. And then, I have to go through the house, and make sure I get everyone, equally, including the pets. “I love you.” Pat pat pat.

I am very blessed that my family find this hilarious, and not annoying as all get-out. It could be very different.

My sister says, though, and I take great comfort in it, that my behavior while I’m high proves that I’m a good person. Some people are well-behaved when sober, but get become downright awful when they’re drunk, because they are doing what they really want to do, and not considering the consequences, or their inhibitions. She says that people’s true nature comes out when they are drunk or high, and “mean-drunks,” are basically just acting on their true desires, that they would otherwise squelch. But because I am a “happy drunk,” she says that means I don’t have those dark, cruel aspects.

Hah. Little does she know. No, really, I have dark cruel aspects. I just torture my Sims, and play role-playing games where I can whack monsters, and get it all out there, instead of directing it at real people. Video games are like therapy for me, when I’m angry or hurt. It’s cathartic. And once I work through the anger or the pain, I can be mellow again. Holding a grudge for long takes up too much energy, and I just don’t have the stamina to be angry for long.

Wow. Sorry for that long post. I just got on a roll.

Falconer
7 years ago

Hello and welcome, schwadevivre! I really like your username.

If anyone needs a moment of cute, my babies are both walking now; we’re taking them to the pool now that it’s (boiling) hot out; and today is their second day of daycare.

Ally S
7 years ago

@Michelle C. Young

All good thoughts, prayers, etc. are welcome.

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

@kitteh – I take it he wouldn’t go for a renaissance faire? We have a faire near here every spring, and I love it. I enjoy dressing in garb, when I can. But I have to agree – that old-fashioned stuff is nice for a day, but I wouldn’t want to live in it. Very restrictive.

@Ally – Know that you are not alone. It’s hard, pulling away from toxic family, especially when you want to be close to the rest of your family. Actual physical distance can help.

My Dad somehow managed to protect us from our grandparents abuse, while simultaneously teaching us to love and respect them. I don’t know how he did it. He was amazing.

I think, though, that you have that same capacity – to be amazing! You can’t physically be there, between your sisters and the hurts of the world, but I’ve seen your words, and as long as you can maintain contact with those girls, you can help them. You have a wisdom in you, and a strength, that you can share with them.

If they are anything like you, they will pull through, and be the better for it, in the long run. Not to get all Nietsche on you, but yes, if this doesn’t destroy you, it will make you, and them, better and stronger. It will teach compassion for others, in a profoundly deep way. And, it will teach you and your sisters to stand up for other victims, when you are in a position to do so.

Optimist me is not trying to minimize your pain, but to give you something hopeful to cling to, when the times are hard, and the way is dark, and the hurtful lies are eating at your soul. You have the opportunity here to do something great, to be great! Not conquer-the-world great, like Alexander, but healing-the-heart great. That battle is more important than anything fought with swords or guns.

And you are not alone. You have friends who will support you, when you need it.

bunnybunny
7 years ago

Yeah. I have back pain from a spinal surgery I had when I was younger, but I don’t take medication as I am a recovering heroin addict and there’s just not really any way I wouldn’t abuse opioid painkillers. I was a high-functioning addict (to the extent that that exists) and graduated college and held a good job during my addiction. But for every part of your life that you can keep together, there are as many parts that are inevitably falling apart when you are an addict.

Painkillers do affect people differently. I’m glad you’re able to maintain a healthy relationship with pain management!

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

@Falconer – They are adorable!

But speaking as someone who has been topless since Monday – I hope those are rosy cheeks, and not sunburnt ones. I saw alarming pinkness on that first picture.

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

@bunnybunny – If I didn’t live with a family who are determined to take care of me, and make sure I am properly supervised when I’m high, and if I didn’t have savings to live on, until I can work out an alternate revenue source, I would not be able to deal with the pain meds. I’d have to just be miserably in pain, and slowly dying from the sheer stress.

So, yeah, healthy relationship, I guess, but goodness knows, it’s far from ideal. And yes, for every part that I can keep together, there ARE many parts that fall apart. I can’t function on my pain pills, and when I’m in pain, without them, I can only barely function, then.

However, I am actually seeing improvement, and have much hope for the future, and see so many blessings in my life.

How do you manage it? I hope you have some non-opioid options. Pain can really be debilitating, and limiting. Do you have a good doctor, who is willing to work with you to find the best treatment?

Ally S
7 years ago

If they are anything like you, they will pull through, and be the better for it, in the long run. Not to get all Nietsche on you, but yes, if this doesn’t destroy you, it will make you, and them, better and stronger. It will teach compassion for others, in a profoundly deep way.

This is the thing I try to tell myself in order to cope with stress in my life. It’s part of a thought pattern in which I re-emphasize the fact that “I still have things to do in my life.” (And in turn it’s also a thought pattern that helps me cope with suicidal thoughts.)

Telling myself, in whatever way possible, that I have value as someone who serves others can help me get through the roughest times, although unfortunately it also makes my self-loathing more deeply entrenched in my psyche (because it perpetuates this idea in my head that I have value as a human being only if I am of use to others).

bunnybunny
7 years ago

The hospital that did my surgery honestly wants nothing to do with patients who are having pain issues if there is no physical problem with the spine and hardware. When the pain gets bad there’s not much I can do except stay in bed. It’s definitely not chronic pain; it pops up every month or two and usually doesn’t last for longer than a week.

I hope everything works out for you, Michelle. It’s great that you’re seeing improvement.

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

@Kittehserf – So, I looked up one thing on wikipedia, and have since opened about a dozen links, and got on a roll, and now I just want to read about your Louis. Which one was he, again? Any better sites than wikipedia?

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

@Ally

it perpetuates this idea in my head that I have value as a human being only if I am of use to others

This reminds me of a hymn we sing at church – “Have I Done Any Good In the World Today?”

One line was changed some years back. It used to say, “If not, I am worthless, indeed.” Now it says, “If not, I have failed, indeed.”

You may have days, weeks, months, even years, when you “fail,” but you are NEVER worthless.

And you know what? You may be helping others in ways you don’t even realize. Let me give an example:

When I was a teenager, I lived in Germany. My church youth group made arrangements to visit a little old lady shut-in, as a service project. We were going to bring her dinner. My mother (who was one of the youth leaders), my sister and I made a dish to bring. When we got the call that the woman was feeling poorly, and so we were going to bring the dinner to another woman, instead, we were confused. “I thought that was why we were bringing the dinner?” In America, we bring dinner to someone who is ill, or injured. But, we discovered, they did things differently in Germany.

When we arrived at the woman’s house, we did not just hand her the cooked dishes. No, she ushered us in, sat us down at the table, and served us dinner. My sister and I tried to help, but she firmly told us to sit down, and let her serve us dinner. Confused, we did as she bid us.

After the meal, my sister and I tried to clear the table, and do the dishes. The woman firmly told us to sit back down, and chat with the others. SHE would clean up. WE were guests.

We looked at my mother, for clarification, but she was just as confused as we were. Finally, the other youth leader explained that our service project to this shut-in old lady was to provide her with the opportunity to serve someone. She couldn’t go out, so we brought the service opportunity to HER. She was happily being a hostess. Although she didn’t have the strength and stamina (or money!) to cook and serve a big meal for ten guests, when provided with the food, she could do the actual serving, at least, and took pleasure in it.

By letting her serve us, we were serving her.

When you go to others for help, and support, you are likewise giving them an opportunity to be of service. You are letting them help, and get the warm fuzzies and feelings of worthiness. So, even if you can’t actually do any “real” service to others, by giving others the chance to help you, you are, in effect, helping them.

I’ve had to really embrace that philosophy in recent years, as my own capacity for DOING service has nearly disappeared. I had to swallow my pride, and ask for help, and allow other people to serve and show charity to me. It’s hard, actually. But it is real.

And sometimes, you can help people just by smiling at them, and offering them a bit of hope. Sometimes, that’s all you can do, but that’s real service, too. And you probably aren’t even aware of how many people you helped in just such a way.

Not to mention the wisdom and support you give others right here, and other forums.

And I’m sure there are many other ways you “add value” to the world, simply by being a part of it. Ways that you can’t even identify, but someone benefits from them.

So, please don’t ever think you aren’t of value, if you aren’t actively helping others. You are always of value, Ally. ALWAYS.

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

@bunnybunny – Wow, that’s harsh. They want nothing to do with you? Wow.

I got my improvement through medical massage therapy. My therapist is nationally certified. State certified isn’t really good enough, because the state sets the bar really low. At least, my state does.

I don’t know if massage therapy would work for you. However, it’s a possibility, depending on the type of issue you have. I was amazed at just how many issues massage can help.

Hopefully, those week-long time-outs of yours aren’t too problematic for your work. Or are you able to get along without it?

Falconer
7 years ago

@Falconer – They are adorable!

But speaking as someone who has been topless since Monday – I hope those are rosy cheeks, and not sunburnt ones. I saw alarming pinkness on that first picture.

Thank’ee!

No, they haven’t gotten sunburned yet. We’re quite liberal with the lotion, although cautious around the eyes.

That’s my wee girl in the first photo (as if you couldn’t tell she were a girl) and at the worst she may have grown her first freckle over her left shoulderblade. We don’t know how long it’s been there, though.

katz
7 years ago

First offence: time out
Second offence: TV privileges removed for that day
Third offence: ALL toys confiscated for that day
Fourth offence: removal and confiscation is carried through to the next day to be “earned back”

…Seriously?

Because a 3-year-old can totally understand concepts like rollover punishments.

And she’s expecting him to be good after she takes away all his toys? What can he possibly do that isn’t naughty if she takes away all his methods of entertainment?

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@michelle young

Do you play any multi-player online games, with a chat mode? Like Runescape?

You play runescape? 😀 Me too!

On that note, good news, I’ve been hanging with my brother more often, cuz we’ve been chatting on that site 😀 😀

@girlscientist

I’ve been able to avoid getting cornered by a creepy ex-coworker at the work conference I’m at! It’s taken some cunning, but so far I’ve managed to avoid being alone with him.

yay. Though I”m sorry to hear about you having a creepy ex coworker 🙁

@breakfastman

glad to hear your new job is going well :3

@katz

Did I also mention that she counts toileting accidents as ‘offences?

Um wow. Toiling accidents are not offences. they’re just accidents

We showed her our side of the chart and our rules and she went berserk and accused us of lying on the chart. In front of the kid, who had been so excited about showing mummy how good he had been.

WOw that poor kid 🙁

@michelle

And I frequently go around hugging people, and telling them “I love you.” Mind you, I only do this with people I actually know and love, but I mean, every five minutes, “I love you.”

Hey, taht happens to me when I”m loopy on my panic pills 😀

@falconer

AWw, your babies are so cute! 😀

@katz

…Seriously?

Because a 3-year-old can totally understand concepts like rollover punishments.

And she’s expecting him to be good after she takes away all his toys? What can he possibly do that isn’t naughty if she takes away all his methods of entertainment?

I don’t know 🙁 It reminds me of some of my parents punishment methods later in childhood, but idk if I”d feel weird talkign about them here.

And yeah. even when I was babysitting a 5 year old he found a five minute time out to be super long. No idea what he’d do if I took away his toys. I just don’t htink long punishments are very good for young kids.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabies, adorable baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabies!!!

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

Ally: I hope you’re able to be kind to yourself. It sounds like you’re doing the best you can in a very bad situation.

contrapangloss
7 years ago

Michelle:

And I frequently go around hugging people, and telling them “I love you.” Mind you, I only do this with people I actually know and love, but I mean, every five minutes, “I love you.”

Yep. I do that, too!

Only, I don’t have chronic pain, and can’t do mind altering substances because the feeling of my brain not working quite the way it’s supposed to freaks me out. Literally. They gave me Vicodin in the ER once, and 40 minutes later I was staring at the wall, shivering, crying, and saying over and over again that my head wasn’t working right, and it needed to stop, and I couldn’t focus, and I didn’t like this, and…

… Yeah. Same story with morphine, that other time (which was lame, because morphine’s supposed to make you not care that things are wonky). And whatever they use to knock you out for wisdom teeth surgery. If I ever get chronic pain, I’m kind of hosed. 🙁

My hugs in the presence of family and faux-family are all sober, but silly. My older sister usually just looks amused after the fifth ‘I love you’ of the day, whenever we’re together.

katz
7 years ago

Falconer has traded in his teeny babies for big kids!

Michelle C Young
7 years ago

Yeah, I like Runescape. I can’t play it when I’m on my pills, though. It takes too many brain cells, especially if the chat is on. My old clan sort of imploded, when the founder ticked off too many members, and they rage-quit, but it was reeeeaaaalllllyyyyy chatty before that, so it took a lot of brain-power to keep up. My new clan, however, is not chatty, at all, so it’s easier. Basically, I joined that one for the citadel, and as long as I cap each week, they’re happy and don’t bug me with lots of questions.

Still, I have to have some in-depth written notes for things like farm-runs and such, or else I get completely lost, and run out of time on my Greenfingers aura before I finish. I used to have a daily chores list, that was actually laminated! But then I leveled up, and had to re-do it, and didn’t have the laminator any more, so I just have a steno pad with all my notes.

I tried to get my Mom on the game, but she couldn’t figure it out, even with me sitting by her, and helping. It’s just not her thing. So, I took over her membership, and get to play as a noob all over again. That’s pretty fun, actually. Some of those quests, I really wish I could repeat, you know? Garden of Tranquility, for example, is so funny. And Perils of Ice Mountain. I’m doing her as a non-combatant, though, so that changes some things. Mostly, I just send her to Ardougne, and have her bake a million potatoes, or else work on building up her house.

There are a few friends that I chat with, though, and that’s nice. I’ve met some really nice people on Runescape.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@michelle

I’ve never actually joined a clan 😛

And i’ve been gone for like, 2 yrs before just coming back. I have no idea what any of the auras do XD

That’s pretty fun, actually. Some of those quests, I really wish I could repeat, you know?

oh, me too, so much! I love questing, and I”ve forgotten about osme of the ones I did years ago.

I haven’t met that many people. I used to talk to some more often, but after having been gone 2 yrs I only have 1 friend left. Luckily we both remembered each other 😀

Hey, do you want to add each other on runescape, or is that not something you’d be interested in?

Purple Poodlecat
Purple Poodlecat
7 years ago

Long time reader here venturing into the comments for the first time – Hi, all! Sending supportive vibes to Ally, marinerachel, Kat, and anyone else who’s had tough stuff going on recently.

pallygirl
pallygirl
7 years ago

Thanks for the comments re my PhD registration, I will now be spending today finding the form to freeze my registration while I undergo more cancer treatment.

Ally: hugs.

Falconer: so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute.

Michelle: yes, the comments you have made is where I get cross at other atheists (I’m an atheist) who make out that all religion does is harm. You have given some very good examples where religion is actually a huge practical support to people. Until atheism can come up with an alternative support mechanism for people, it can just shut up about all religion being harmful.

bunnybunny: have you found out any information about the surgery(?) you had and the side effects, to know if your outcome is a known side effect? I can’t work out from your comment/s whether it was a known risk or whether medical malpractice or negligence might have contributed. Pain sucks. I’ve had it over the past 3 weeks due to surgery (now actually under control with ibuprofen plus codeine nighttime top ups when I can’t sleep), but I also had really bad RSI in my right wrist and elbow, where the pain was so bad one day I sat ther with a knife against my arm wondering how deep I had to cut before they would amputate. No, I didn’t do anything bad. So I understand how severe pain hurts, and I know how draining and depressing it is – and how mentally and emotionally overwhelming it can be. The Cancer Society has given me some audio CDs on how to relax, do guided imagery, etc to help with pain and lack of sleep – have you considered anything like that might help (apologies if you already have, just trying to think of practical things)?

Kat: the poor child, and hugs to both of you for having to cope with this as well. Stress can contribute to the types of outcomes your child is having at his biological(?) mother’s house, so the horrid stuff she is doing as punishment can make it worse. Having completely different parenting approaches aren’t good for a small child either, and your methods sound great (i.e. it would be good if her’s could be brought in line with your’s). A child psychologist might be able to give you and your partner some good practical advice on how to deal with this situation, as they have a wide range of expertise in dealing with children from various presenting issues (family break-up to DSM-type issues). If it’s any help, I think the two of you are awesome at parenting. 🙂

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Bleh. I’m kinda having to slow down on writeathon stuff, because my brain is giving off all the warning signs. We’ve been doing a LOT of memory work and putting a lot of shit together (SPOILER: the news is never good) and I finally figured out today that all the gut wrenches and ED symptoms were probably from that. Like, I’m okay, I’m handling all right, it’s just… I dunno. Having such a tragic backstroy is NOT as cool as random strangers on the Internet told me it would be.

In much nicer news, though, hubby and me will be having our seventh anniversary soon! We’re trying to decide on something cool to do.

RE: Kat

Uh. That sounds like child abuse to me. I mean, shit, he’s THREE. Three-year-olds don’t just piss themselves to manipulate you. And also, he’s a fucking toddler! Toddlers don’t understand days-long punishments. No shit he’d get more and more upset as all his shit is taken away!

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@LBT

all the internet hugs from me if you want them. 🙁

And preemptive happy aniversary, too.

pallygirl
pallygirl
7 years ago

@LBT: sorry to hear that. I am of the impression that tragic backstories in fiction are more interesting to those that haven’t themselves got a tragic backstory – because it stays in the realm of fiction for them.

Ooooo 7th anniversary. 🙂 If you guys do anything, even just put on silly hats, I’ve love to see photos. I’m still at the same email as I used for the artwork with you, if you feel safe to send me anything.

I like photos of other people, and their pets, and their children. 🙂 I really enjoy seeing people having a fun time.

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

Oooh, 7th is copper or wool, isn’t it? that could be fun …

Early happy anniversary.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Marie

And preemptive happy aniversary, too.

Thanks!

RE: pallygirl

@LBT: sorry to hear that. I am of the impression that tragic backstories in fiction are more interesting to those that haven’t themselves got a tragic backstory – because it stays in the realm of fiction for them.

I can totally believe that. At least on the plus side, I am completely impervious to existential malaise!

Ooooo 7th anniversary. 🙂 If you guys do anything, even just put on silly hats, I’ve love to see photos.

I may have to sketch something! That’d be fun. We’ll probably go hiking… maybe a nice dinner… porn…

RE: titianblue

Oooh, 7th is copper or wool, isn’t it?

Fifth was leather. This gave us much giggles.

pallygirl
pallygirl
7 years ago

Okay, not the porn, but the sketching or hiking or dinner photos sound great. 🙂

bunnybunny
7 years ago

@pallygirl – I wasn’t as aware of the risks when I had the surgery because I was thirteen at the time, but I have read a lot about it since and it does seem to be a common side effect. I had most of my spine fused. I’m not sure what exactly is causing the ongoing pain – like I said earlier, the hospital has little interest in these cases because there is nothing for them to “fix” and pain management is not their job. I’m pretty lucky anyway – I’ve read about cases where people are in constant, debilitating pain. Mine comes and goes. I’ll definitely look into the type of CDs you’re talking about. It sounds like they could be really useful in coping with bad pain episodes. Thanks (:

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