Love is in the air at the Chateau Heartiste, the online home of the racist, woman-hating pickup artiste with an “he” at the start of his made up name. In a recent post, Heartiste responds to a reader with the plaintive question: Can sluts fall in love?
Heartiste takes the opportunity to drop some (pseudo)science on the questioner. By which I mean he plucks this nugget of not-quite-scientific nonsense from his posterior:
Absolutely. But they can also fall out of love. And they do both more easily than non-sluts.
Sluts are a strange amalgam of genetic, environmental, and “gray area” influences. Hormones are a good example of a gray area somewhere between the environment and genes which shapes character. While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do during lovemaking, which means the hard slut is less likely to emotionally bond when she’s spermally bonded.
Ah love, sweet ineffable love!
It’s not quite clear how Heartiste became an expert on love, since he seems to thoroughly hate the women he spends so much of his life obsessing about.
Elsewhere in the same “reader mailbag” post, for example, he urges another question-writer to gaslight a former girlfriend who is still showing interest in him in order to score some easy sex. I’ve bolded some of the more repugnant bits for those who’d rather skim than read Mr. H.
She wants the lines of communication open, because she still has hope you’ll give her what she needs. Reply, but only a fraction of the time she texts. Initially, keep it friendly and frivolous, but don’t allow yourself to get boxed into a “friends forever?” interrogation. If she starts down that road, first, know she doesn’t really mean it, and second, amputate that rotten limb of conversation promptly. “You’re so funny” is a reply that will light a fire under her hamster’s ass. Anytime she sends you one of those “just thinking about you” texts, reply “aw that’s sweet.” If she texts, “just got our hair done”, reply, “thanks! i needed to know this.”
The idea is that you are reinforcing your relative higher value by repeatedly and (some would say) sadistically mocking her eagerness to keep you in her life.
Allow for a few weeks of this empty banter, then maneuver her into your fornication zone with a disarming suggestion: “If you need to talk, you can swing by tomorrow (tonight’s no good)”. Through the expert deployment of ambiguous promises, you want her to believe you are warming to the idea of a committed, conventional long-term relationship. The goal is increasing perceptions of your “commitment attainability”, and that will require some feints to the beta side. Convinced of your good intentions, you can extract sexual goodies in this manner for another six months or so, before the process begins anew.
What a charmer!
Heartiste is fond of spinning out these sorts of sadistic fantasies, and his fans lap them up. It’s not clear if any of them have spoken to an actual human woman in years.
@kittehserf: There have been a number of cats in my life that are gone but remembered with affection. Another was an odd-eyed white we named Snowflake then nicknamed White Noise because she had an unbeatable purr-motor — my wife would stroke her a couple of times and she would purr her to sleep.
I live in a huge 1780-vintage farmhouse with attached barn and we had no cats when I moved in (it was the house my wife grew up in) 31 years ago. Did we ever have rats and mice! So we got the cats to control the rodents — I’m sure you know all about the fringe benefits of kitties. My kitty (as contrasted to our kitties) is a gray tiger named Seneca (Senny) who follows me just about everywhere about the house and yard. My wife tries to seduce her away with catnip, but it hasn’t worked yet.
About the “special” thing, you know, even in awesome relationships where people adore each other sex isn’t always special in the sense that seems to be implied here. Sometimes it’s a quickie before breakfast because you need to get to work, and that’s OK. Sometimes it’s super emotional and all about the bonding. And sometimes it’s just two horny people hooking up. All of which are OK. Why can’t people just mind their own business and let people who aren’t them fuck they way they prefer? As long as the other person isn’t trying to get you involved I’m not seeing why the relative level of “specialness” they’re ascribing to their sex lives matters to you.
“Whenever these guys write about sex it makes me want to take a vow of celibacy. They just make it sound so unpleasant.”
I’m not a woman, of course, but it seems to me that their attitudes would make a woman feel like having sex with them (definitely not making love!) would be a couple of cuts below a root canal.
The one thing I am glad about is that all their BS is openly available online, so hopefully fewer females will be fooled by these arseholes. Actually, they’re not arseholes because arseholes are useful. They’re more like hernias.
@cassandrakitty yup, and thanks for bringing it up! My fella and I have been together 17 years (or so) and sex is… well, all sorts of different things for different reasons. Most of our truly ‘special’ moments don’t involve sex at all, at least in the sense of ‘special’ the OP seemed to mean.
At least after a root canal I wouldn’t need a shower, and it would presumably leave my teeth in better health. I’m not sure what the potential upside to fucking a PUA would be.
@pallygirl I think they are like pimples. I’d prefer they didn’t exist, but every now and then it’s fun to squeeze one til it pops.
cassandra – “special in the sense that seems to be implied here” is a good point. The use of special with “doe eyed” is the eyebrow-raising bit for me. I call quickies before breakfast as well as the slow and emotional variety of sex special, which doesn’t seem to be at all wha the OP was suggesting.
GrumpOldMan – luckily I’ve never had rats or mice to deal with, ‘cos I would say two out of the dozen-odd kitties I’ve lived with would have had the slightest idea what to do about them. 😀 Even then, those two were more into catching birds.
I love a kitty with a big purr. We’ve had some mighty ones that way, too. Fribbie (real name Freya) is a purrer when she’s claimed a lap. Mads (real name Madeleine) isn’t so much, but damn she does some impressive snoring.
Definitely.
Plus some dentists are likeable people.
When I lived in a place that had mice my old cat used to scare them to death, as far as I could tell. I’d find dead mice without a single mark on them, so I’m assuming they died of shock.
He also left me one as a gift once, which I stepped on with my bare foot when I got out of bed. Thanks for that, sweetie.
*involuntary shudder*
@Tracy LOL: staph aureus can cause boils as well as pimples. 🙂
Ewwwwww!
My daughter’s kitty gave her a mouse this morning.
Oh, in general, it’s not the mice they bring that are a problem. It’s the pieces of mouse.
My kitty was a rancher: he’d catch voles, bring them in, let them go, and spend hours staring under the refrigerator/couch/whatever.
Once he gave up, we’d usually try to catch them ourselves and release the poor traumatized things.
I did once catch a mouse before he scared it to death and let it go outside. Kitty was confused as to why I was taking his toy away.
GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
contrapangloss – my Mamie was a hobby farmer. She liked herding daddy long legs. Never was good at stock control, though.
RE: cassandrakitty
Whenever these guys write about sex it makes me want to take a vow of celibacy. They just make it sound so unpleasant.
Thank god I know decent straight dudes; if these assholes were my only exposure, I probably would’ve sworn off straight guys for LIFE. These guys are TERRIBLE representatives.
As long as the other person isn’t trying to get you involved I’m not seeing why the relative level of “specialness” they’re ascribing to their sex lives matters to you.
But, but, cassandrakitty! Women! Having SEX! In a way that men might disapprove of! THINK OF THEIR BONERS!
RE: strivingally
I think it’s more fundamentally that these Menz have bought into the idea that Real Menz Don’t Have Feelz.
With shit like that, it’s astonishing to me that anyone would WANT to be a Real Man. I’ve been emotionally numb; it’s kinda a hallmark of dissociatives. It suuuuuucked. Why on earth would anyone consider that a noble achievment? What’s the point of being the top of the food chain if you can’t even openly ENJOY it? (And now I’m wondering how this ties in with the Straw Vulcan Super Manly Man Logic; do some guys do this because they think they aren’t allowed to take pleasure in something just for emotion’s sake?)
RE: Argenti
LBT — oh, another flightless bird helpless against cats?
Yup. NZ is truly land of weird birds that can’t fly.
One of the reasons my wife decided to keep an otherwise useless male around the house after my sperm-donor role was complete was to pick up and dispose of the mouse pieces.
I was so fascinated by Fartiste’s casual mention of “spermally bonded”, like as if it were a thing, I had to check into it.
Turns out it is, maybe, kind of a thing?!
http://jenapincott.com/a-wizards-brew-the-psychobiology-of-semen/
LBT — no natural predators I guess. Sucks that this convo is both about the useful things cats kill and the ones they might drive to extinction.
Cassandra — the BF found a tiny dead bunny in the front yard a bit ago — no marks but almost had to have been gotten by a cat given it was right out in the open. Idk about with mammalian prey, but I know they can kill a bird without doing much damage because their mouths are little bacteria farms. Can’t imagine that would happen all that fast though.
(The poor baby bunny got buried in the yard, the first critter interred in his yard. Worst part was that when he first spotted it, until I poked it, I wasn’t sure it was actually dead and not just sick, since it looked more asleep than injured.)
RE: Fnoicby
I dunno about that, that sounds pretty unlikely to me. There isn’t THAT MUCH to semen, and surely if it had such an effect on mood, women would’ve long since noticed by now and barrier forms of contraception wouldn’t be the go-to.
RE: Argenti
Bingo. Though weasels and deer and wild pigs were WAY more dangerous to things like the kakapo than cats. Kakapo are BIG.
That link, lol. Wishful thinking, what’s that?
I remember reading somewhere that cats actually kill snakes and amphibians more often than rodents and birds.