Love is in the air at the Chateau Heartiste, the online home of the racist, woman-hating pickup artiste with an “he” at the start of his made up name. In a recent post, Heartiste responds to a reader with the plaintive question: Can sluts fall in love?
Heartiste takes the opportunity to drop some (pseudo)science on the questioner. By which I mean he plucks this nugget of not-quite-scientific nonsense from his posterior:
Absolutely. But they can also fall out of love. And they do both more easily than non-sluts.
Sluts are a strange amalgam of genetic, environmental, and “gray area” influences. Hormones are a good example of a gray area somewhere between the environment and genes which shapes character. While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do during lovemaking, which means the hard slut is less likely to emotionally bond when she’s spermally bonded.
Ah love, sweet ineffable love!
It’s not quite clear how Heartiste became an expert on love, since he seems to thoroughly hate the women he spends so much of his life obsessing about.
Elsewhere in the same “reader mailbag” post, for example, he urges another question-writer to gaslight a former girlfriend who is still showing interest in him in order to score some easy sex. I’ve bolded some of the more repugnant bits for those who’d rather skim than read Mr. H.
She wants the lines of communication open, because she still has hope you’ll give her what she needs. Reply, but only a fraction of the time she texts. Initially, keep it friendly and frivolous, but don’t allow yourself to get boxed into a “friends forever?” interrogation. If she starts down that road, first, know she doesn’t really mean it, and second, amputate that rotten limb of conversation promptly. “You’re so funny” is a reply that will light a fire under her hamster’s ass. Anytime she sends you one of those “just thinking about you” texts, reply “aw that’s sweet.” If she texts, “just got our hair done”, reply, “thanks! i needed to know this.”
The idea is that you are reinforcing your relative higher value by repeatedly and (some would say) sadistically mocking her eagerness to keep you in her life.
Allow for a few weeks of this empty banter, then maneuver her into your fornication zone with a disarming suggestion: “If you need to talk, you can swing by tomorrow (tonight’s no good)”. Through the expert deployment of ambiguous promises, you want her to believe you are warming to the idea of a committed, conventional long-term relationship. The goal is increasing perceptions of your “commitment attainability”, and that will require some feints to the beta side. Convinced of your good intentions, you can extract sexual goodies in this manner for another six months or so, before the process begins anew.
What a charmer!
Heartiste is fond of spinning out these sorts of sadistic fantasies, and his fans lap them up. It’s not clear if any of them have spoken to an actual human woman in years.
It’s even worse than that: The chimps not being actually located at the university, the poor scientist had to bring it on an airplane.
Wow, that must’ve been an ASS at customs.
Back when I lived in Wellington, there was this awesome museum free to the public. There was an educational video about the desperate attempts to revive the endangered kakapo. (AKA the owl parrot.) For a while, the kakpo population was down to the double digits, meaning scientists scrambled to find some way, ANY way, to get the damn birds to breed.
Unfortunately, some of those living kakapo were apparently completely uninterested in female kakapo, preferring instead to attempt mating with (among other things) humans’ heads and dead pigeons.
This led to… CREATIVE attempts on the scientists’ parts to find a way to harvest the sperm from these kinky birds. Including a sperm-collecting helmet for the one who only would bang humans’ heads.
I can only imagine the conversation on who got the helmet:
“Hey, Intern Fred! How would you like to d something wonderful for SCIENCE?”
“Science? I love science! I really hope to save our endangered species!”
“That’s great, Intern Fred, that’s exactly what we’re looking for! Now, put on this helmet…”
“Oh no! Not the helmet!”
“Now, now, Fred. This is for SCIENCE!”
Now, much as I am for saving endangered species (and even bringing back the ones we caused to go extinct, if we can), I gotta question the wisdom of saving a bird too dumb to fuck. Literally too dumb to fuck.
To be fair, the kakapo being endangered in the first place was due to non-native pests attacking and eating them. Also, they were solitary, very TERRITORIAL birds, only allowing other birds during mating season. This probably worked out fine when there were bunches of them, but once you only have like sixty on a whole COUNTRY… yeeeeeaaaah.
I hear they’re doing a little better now though! They’re up to about 127 birds, now!
LBT, that’s not the worst part. Apparently Fred was a failure.
http://www.theoptimusprimeexperiment.com/2006/10/ejaculation-helmet.html?m=1
I think it’s hilarious that duckbunny and bunnybunny are discussing primate sex.
Kakapo are also terrible at brooding their eggs. Conservationists have resorted to supplying hot water bottles for when they wander off.
serrana: As an accidental hybrid myself, I take a close interest in the mating habits of other species. Imagine how unfortunate a bonobunny would be.
Spermal bonding: the relationship between Roissy and his underpants.
ewwwww XD
RE: Shaun Day
LBT, that’s not the worst part. Apparently Fred was a failure.
Alas, poor Intern Fred. Another sacrificial lamb upon the great altar of SCIENCE!
I took Heartiste’s comment about lack of hard evidence to be a complaint about suffering from erectile dysfunction when encountering non-submissive women.
Seconded. My husband’s an “easy lay” for me, and vice-versa. The sex is very frequent, and special every single time.
I guess that makes both of us doe-eyed.
It’s the suggestion that there’s something wrong with love and sex going together that’s eyebrow-raising for me, as well as all the shit Lea unpacked in that statement.
Glad it wasn’t just me, GrumpyOldMan.
::snerk:: I can’t remember if it’s him or Roosh, but one of ’em’s said he does have a bit of ED these days.
Who’s the kitty in your gravatar, GrumpyOldMan?
RE: Kittehs
It’s the suggestion that there’s something wrong with love and sex going together that’s eyebrow-raising for me.
Yup. Says a lot about them, I think.
Yeah, it’s dubious all round.
Hard sluts are misandry!
Good lord, that means Elam’s freaky face is on purpose.
@kittehserf: She was our cat, named Nikki (short for Nikita – she came to us with a name). Unfortunately Nikki died a couple of years ago, but we had her for 16 good years. (She previously belonged to my daughter’s friend, who had to give her up when she moved to a no-pets apartment.) She was a very sweet-natured kitty, but in the right light she had those glowing red eyes that made her seem like a devil kitty, and that’s why I chose her for my avatar. We currently have six cats, five of which we adopted and one adopted us.
She’s beautiful, GrumpyOldMan. Sixteen years is a good innings, though when the time comes, it’s never long enough, is it?
Six cats! I am green with envy here. We used to have five, now down to two earthside.
You too, huh? Whenever these guys write about sex it makes me want to take a vow of celibacy. They just make it sound so unpleasant.
I wonder what the world would look like if PUA science were true? It might be a good topic for a sf story, if it weren’t for the fact that too many people would take it seriously.
Re: sex and “special”
I think it’s more fundamentally that these Menz have bought into the idea that Real Menz Don’t Have Feelz. Outside of anger and lust (and perhaps joy or devastation about their sports teams) these guys heavily police themselves and other men on anything that seems like a display of emotion. So when it comes to an act that has a bunch of emotions tied to it, like intimate physical activity with another human being, they’re so deeply invested on Not Having Feels that they have to tell themselves it’s a dispassionate itch they’re scratching. For guys who run their lives according to acquiring sex, they don’t actually seem to *like* it very much.
Re: “spermal bonding”
Okay, I know I’m relatively new to exploring the manosphere, and in particular the testosterone-coating cesspit of toxic “masculinity” that is the PUA world, so forgive my ignorance… but is PUA doctrine basically encouraging unprotected sex at every opportunity? Holy shit. These assholes are idiots too dumb to even look out for THEIR OWN health and safety, not to mention a callous indifference to whether or not they knock someone up in the process. That’s a particularly vile flavour of evil.
Karalora — holy FUCK. I hadn’t thought it that far out but you’re right! And then…FTSU is far, FAR worse than we’d imagined!
LBT — oh, another flightless bird helpless against cats?
Kitteh — I think it was Roosh, but I could be wrong.
You know, if they are, that does explain why they’re so worried about child support…