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alpha males beta males creepy empathy deficit gaslighting hamstering heartiste men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny precious bodily fluids PUA red pill

Can Sluts Fall in Love? Heartiste on "hard sluts" and the difference between emotional and "spermal bonding."

Alpha cat demonstrating higher value.
Alpha cat demonstrating higher value.

Love is in the air at the Chateau Heartiste, the online home of the racist, woman-hating pickup artiste with an “he” at the start of his made up name. In a recent post, Heartiste responds to a reader with the plaintive question: Can sluts fall in love?

Heartiste takes the opportunity to drop some (pseudo)science on the questioner. By which I mean he plucks this nugget of not-quite-scientific nonsense from his posterior:

Absolutely. But they can also fall out of love. And they do both more easily than non-sluts.

Sluts are a strange amalgam of genetic, environmental, and “gray area” influences. Hormones are a good example of a gray area somewhere between the environment and genes which shapes character. While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do during lovemaking, which means the hard slut is less likely to emotionally bond when she’s spermally bonded.

Ah love, sweet ineffable love!

It’s not quite clear how Heartiste became an expert on love, since he seems to thoroughly hate the women he spends so much of his life obsessing about.

Elsewhere in the same “reader mailbag” post, for example, he urges another question-writer to gaslight a former girlfriend who is still showing interest in him in order to score some easy sex. I’ve bolded some of the more repugnant bits for those who’d rather skim than read Mr. H.

She wants the lines of communication open, because she still has hope you’ll give her what she needs. Reply, but only a fraction of the time she texts. Initially, keep it friendly and frivolous, but don’t allow yourself to get boxed into a “friends forever?” interrogation. If she starts down that road, first, know she doesn’t really mean it, and second, amputate that rotten limb of conversation promptly. “You’re so funny” is a reply that will light a fire under her hamster’s ass. Anytime she sends you one of those “just thinking about you” texts, reply “aw that’s sweet.” If she texts, “just got our hair done”, reply, “thanks! i needed to know this.”

The idea is that you are reinforcing your relative higher value by repeatedly and (some would say) sadistically mocking her eagerness to keep you in her life.

Allow for a few weeks of this empty banter, then maneuver her into your fornication zone with a disarming suggestion: “If you need to talk, you can swing by tomorrow (tonight’s no good)”. Through the expert deployment of ambiguous promises, you want her to believe you are warming to the idea of a committed, conventional long-term relationship. The goal is increasing perceptions of your “commitment attainability”, and that will require some feints to the beta side. Convinced of your good intentions, you can extract sexual goodies in this manner for another six months or so, before the process begins anew.

What a charmer!

Heartiste is fond of spinning out these sorts of sadistic fantasies, and his fans lap them up. It’s not clear if any of them have spoken to an actual human woman in years.

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katz
7 years ago

Hard sluts are, of course, more difficult to scratch and tend to have large smooth surfaces along naturally occurring cleavage.

I see what you did there.

marinerachel
marinerachel
7 years ago

Hur hur hur.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

Those able to engage in prostitution without the aid of several addictive substances, probably have a surplus of oxytocin. Oxytocin is what gives you a grin and bear it tolerance for the intolerable, like babies throwing up on you or men using you as a toilet.

If you can read that and not find it insulting and misogynist as fuck, I want to know why.

Incognita Secunda
7 years ago

I think there’s a dissertation to be written on the rhetoric of the PUA movement–it’s fascinatingly byzantine, bizarre, and inventively profane–but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to have to do the research involved.

brooked
brooked
7 years ago

Slut also deals with class, since a slut is unworthy of marriage and social status. The term slut is depressing on multiple fronts.

Through the expert deployment of ambiguous promises, you want her to believe you are warming to the idea of a committed, conventional long-term relationship.

These guys are the most grandiose and egocentric breed of assholes to walk the earth. The lying and manipulation is bad enough in itself without this fantasy of how their enthusiastic douchebaggery is based on scientific knowledge and elaborate skill sets.

Fines double in fornication zones to protect spermal bonding agents.

A for real LOL. Mockery is the only thing that makes this TeRPer nonsense survivable for me. I can intellectually engage with MRA types with little emotion, but TeRPers genuinely make my blood pressure shoot up. It’s tough to read a sexual predator playbook, especially when it’s relationship advice that people charge money for and propagate for a living. I fucking hate, hate, hate these guys in a way I don’t hate reactionaries, right wingers and anti-feminists. You can be a disaster ideologically and not be a terrible person who deliberately does terrible things.

bunnybunny
7 years ago

Yeah, insulting sex workers and addicts in one go. Impressive.

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
7 years ago

I’ve also read that women of higher socioeconomic status use “slut” as a way of insulting poorer women.

Sorry, Lea, you’re right that insanitybytes’ comment is not an acceptable to talk about sex workers, or anyone else really.

Howard Bannister
7 years ago

Katz

…I am ashamed that I know something about chimpanzee sperm.

…and now we all know something about chimpanzee sperm.

😛

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: deniseeliza

I’m also reading Why Does He Do That (which is about abusers) and some tactics I recognize from PUAs here are decoded in this book as well.

I know, right? I’ve been reading that book in chunks for almost a week, for completely different reasons, but the reminder of the misogynists we mock is… uh. Kinda uncanny.

RE: Taino

He can’t blame her for the fact that guys are easy and it does not take long for a woman to know how easy sex is to get and thus her view of it changes from “special” to “meh”

The hell are you blathering on about? My husband is possibly the easiest man to lay on the planet; last I checked, he didn’t need mystique to make sex awesome. If sex can only be ‘special’ when it’s rare, I question the quality of said sex.

RE: runsinbackground

does anybody know what the hell a “hard” slut is supposed to be?

I presume it’s my husband with an erection. *rimshot*

RE: katz

Isn’t chimpanzee sperm more like that? A solid plug rather than a liquid? …I am ashamed that I know something about chimpanzee sperm.

I dunno whether to be impressed by your knowledge or horrified by the idea of solid sperm. D:

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Nth the “that’s some fucked up shit right there”.

Shaenon
7 years ago

Both men and women release oxytocin during sex and other “bonding” experiences, although its primary purpose may be to help women get through the pain of childbirth. It’s a hormone released by the pituitary gland and mainly has a relaxant effect. It is not some kind of mind-altering drug that only affects women, nor does it have anything to do with semen.

Man, these dudes love the idea that their jizz is magic. Sorry, guys, but sperm does not have special powers beyond the standard and well-known baby-making ability.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
7 years ago

Those able to engage in prostitution without the aid of several addictive substances, probably have a surplus of oxytocin. Oxytocin is what gives you a grin and bear it tolerance for the intolerable, like babies throwing up on you or men using you as a toilet.

If you can read that and not find it insulting and misogynist as fuck, I want to know why.

I assumed it was a satire of the PUA position, noting the inconsistency of attributing low levels of oxycontin to “hard sluts.” Given the over-the-top rhetoric and misogyny of the comment – on a blog dedicated to mocking misogynists – I figured it couldn’t be serious.

As I said above, I’ve got a gullible streak a mile wide.

If I’m wrong in my interpretation of that post, then I sincerely apologize for any support or cover I may have given it.

katz
7 years ago

It doesn’t come out solid, it solidifies afterwards (actual spermal bonding). Some animals have this mechanism so another male can’t then mate with the female.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
7 years ago

…and “oxycontin” should read “oxytocin”….

My bad…spelling.

bekabot
7 years ago

…the hard slut is less likely to emotionally bond when she’s spermally bonded…

I think ‘spermally bonded’ is supposed to be a sticky-sheets joke…

The apogee (or would it be the nadir?) of tacky humor.

Puddleglum
7 years ago

“While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do..”

Not to quibble with such a fine example of peer reviewed science, but I suggest the exact opposite.

I read this and agreed (with the added point of WTF is fartiste going on about with this ‘normal’ women vs sluts shit?). People who enjoy and orgasm from sex are much more likely to produce oxytocin during sex.

Those able to engage in prostitution without the aid of several addictive substances, probably have a surplus of oxytocin.

Aaaaand then it right out the window.

talacaris
7 years ago

Does he think he’s some science genius? I bet he wears a labcoat at all times.

Maybe he is trying to impersonate creepy vivisectionists in old horror movies

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: katz

It doesn’t come out solid, it solidifies afterwards (actual spermal bonding).

You just HAD to make it worse, didn’t you?

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
7 years ago

I like that Katz is following the pseudo-science post with actual science. Despite their best efforts, we’re learning true stuff!

katz
7 years ago

In case anyone is wondering, scientists were interested in chimp sperm because chimps, unlike humans, almost never have miscarriages, and they were interested in what the chimps were doing differently.

talacaris
7 years ago

Chimps also have bigger balls, ca 110 g, more than double human weight.
Also, they are a lot stronger than humans.

duckbunny
7 years ago

Humans, on the other hand, have invented the vibrator. Now that’s sexual prowess.

bunnybunny
7 years ago

Sperm plugs also occur in squirrels, rats, mice, and reptiles. I feel slightly better about my student loan debt, having contributed that.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: katz

In case anyone is wondering, scientists were interested in chimp sperm because chimps, unlike humans, almost never have miscarriages, and they were interested in what the chimps were doing differently.

You know, every time I hear about something like this, I think of the poor intern or grad student who you just KNOW lost the coin toss and has to be the one collecting the damn fluids…

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
7 years ago

the poor intern or grad student who you just KNOW lost the coin toss and has to be the one collecting the damn fluids…

Omg, flashbacks of that Dirty Jobs episode where they collect sperm from the stallion…

katz
7 years ago

You know, every time I hear about something like this, I think of the poor intern or grad student who you just KNOW lost the coin toss and has to be the one collecting the damn fluids…

It’s even worse than that: The chimps not being actually located at the university, the poor scientist had to bring it on an airplane.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Wow, that must’ve been an ASS at customs.

Back when I lived in Wellington, there was this awesome museum free to the public. There was an educational video about the desperate attempts to revive the endangered kakapo. (AKA the owl parrot.) For a while, the kakpo population was down to the double digits, meaning scientists scrambled to find some way, ANY way, to get the damn birds to breed.

Unfortunately, some of those living kakapo were apparently completely uninterested in female kakapo, preferring instead to attempt mating with (among other things) humans’ heads and dead pigeons.

This led to… CREATIVE attempts on the scientists’ parts to find a way to harvest the sperm from these kinky birds. Including a sperm-collecting helmet for the one who only would bang humans’ heads.

I can only imagine the conversation on who got the helmet:

“Hey, Intern Fred! How would you like to d something wonderful for SCIENCE?”

“Science? I love science! I really hope to save our endangered species!”

“That’s great, Intern Fred, that’s exactly what we’re looking for! Now, put on this helmet…”

“Oh no! Not the helmet!”

“Now, now, Fred. This is for SCIENCE!”

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Now, much as I am for saving endangered species (and even bringing back the ones we caused to go extinct, if we can), I gotta question the wisdom of saving a bird too dumb to fuck. Literally too dumb to fuck.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

To be fair, the kakapo being endangered in the first place was due to non-native pests attacking and eating them. Also, they were solitary, very TERRITORIAL birds, only allowing other birds during mating season. This probably worked out fine when there were bunches of them, but once you only have like sixty on a whole COUNTRY… yeeeeeaaaah.

I hear they’re doing a little better now though! They’re up to about 127 birds, now!

Shaun Day
Shaun Day
7 years ago

LBT, that’s not the worst part. Apparently Fred was a failure.

http://www.theoptimusprimeexperiment.com/2006/10/ejaculation-helmet.html?m=1

serrana
serrana
7 years ago

I think it’s hilarious that duckbunny and bunnybunny are discussing primate sex.

duckbunny
7 years ago

Kakapo are also terrible at brooding their eggs. Conservationists have resorted to supplying hot water bottles for when they wander off.

serrana: As an accidental hybrid myself, I take a close interest in the mating habits of other species. Imagine how unfortunate a bonobunny would be.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Spermal bonding: the relationship between Roissy and his underpants.

scott1139
scott1139
7 years ago

Spermal bonding: the relationship between Roissy and his underpants.

ewwwww XD

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Shaun Day

LBT, that’s not the worst part. Apparently Fred was a failure.

Alas, poor Intern Fred. Another sacrificial lamb upon the great altar of SCIENCE!

GrumpyOldMan
GrumpyOldMan
7 years ago

I took Heartiste’s comment about lack of hard evidence to be a complaint about suffering from erectile dysfunction when encountering non-submissive women.

kittehserf
7 years ago

If sex can only be ‘special’ when it’s rare, I question the quality of said sex.

Seconded. My husband’s an “easy lay” for me, and vice-versa. The sex is very frequent, and special every single time.

I guess that makes both of us doe-eyed.

It’s the suggestion that there’s something wrong with love and sex going together that’s eyebrow-raising for me, as well as all the shit Lea unpacked in that statement.

serrana
serrana
7 years ago

Glad it wasn’t just me, GrumpyOldMan.

kittehserf
7 years ago

I took Heartiste’s comment about lack of hard evidence to be a complaint about suffering from erectile dysfunction when encountering non-submissive women.

::snerk:: I can’t remember if it’s him or Roosh, but one of ’em’s said he does have a bit of ED these days.

Who’s the kitty in your gravatar, GrumpyOldMan?

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Kittehs

It’s the suggestion that there’s something wrong with love and sex going together that’s eyebrow-raising for me.

Yup. Says a lot about them, I think.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Yeah, it’s dubious all round.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
7 years ago

Hard sluts are misandry!

Karalora
Karalora
7 years ago

They’re like…Tzimisce or something.

Good lord, that means Elam’s freaky face is on purpose.

GrumpyOldMan
GrumpyOldMan
7 years ago

@kittehserf: She was our cat, named Nikki (short for Nikita – she came to us with a name). Unfortunately Nikki died a couple of years ago, but we had her for 16 good years. (She previously belonged to my daughter’s friend, who had to give her up when she moved to a no-pets apartment.) She was a very sweet-natured kitty, but in the right light she had those glowing red eyes that made her seem like a devil kitty, and that’s why I chose her for my avatar. We currently have six cats, five of which we adopted and one adopted us.

kittehserf
7 years ago

She’s beautiful, GrumpyOldMan. Sixteen years is a good innings, though when the time comes, it’s never long enough, is it?

Six cats! I am green with envy here. We used to have five, now down to two earthside.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
7 years ago

PUAs’ sciencing would be such a beautiful thing if it didn’t try so hard to make you wanna peel your skin off with a loofa

You too, huh? Whenever these guys write about sex it makes me want to take a vow of celibacy. They just make it sound so unpleasant.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
7 years ago

I wonder what the world would look like if PUA science were true? It might be a good topic for a sf story, if it weren’t for the fact that too many people would take it seriously.

strivingally
7 years ago

Re: sex and “special”

I think it’s more fundamentally that these Menz have bought into the idea that Real Menz Don’t Have Feelz. Outside of anger and lust (and perhaps joy or devastation about their sports teams) these guys heavily police themselves and other men on anything that seems like a display of emotion. So when it comes to an act that has a bunch of emotions tied to it, like intimate physical activity with another human being, they’re so deeply invested on Not Having Feels that they have to tell themselves it’s a dispassionate itch they’re scratching. For guys who run their lives according to acquiring sex, they don’t actually seem to *like* it very much.

Re: “spermal bonding”

Okay, I know I’m relatively new to exploring the manosphere, and in particular the testosterone-coating cesspit of toxic “masculinity” that is the PUA world, so forgive my ignorance… but is PUA doctrine basically encouraging unprotected sex at every opportunity? Holy shit. These assholes are idiots too dumb to even look out for THEIR OWN health and safety, not to mention a callous indifference to whether or not they knock someone up in the process. That’s a particularly vile flavour of evil.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Karalora — holy FUCK. I hadn’t thought it that far out but you’re right! And then…FTSU is far, FAR worse than we’d imagined!

LBT — oh, another flightless bird helpless against cats?

Kitteh — I think it was Roosh, but I could be wrong.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

You know, if they are, that does explain why they’re so worried about child support…