Categories
alpha males beta males creepy empathy deficit gaslighting hamstering heartiste men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny precious bodily fluids PUA red pill

Can Sluts Fall in Love? Heartiste on "hard sluts" and the difference between emotional and "spermal bonding."

Alpha cat demonstrating higher value.
Alpha cat demonstrating higher value.

Love is in the air at the Chateau Heartiste, the online home of the racist, woman-hating pickup artiste with an “he” at the start of his made up name. In a recent post, Heartiste responds to a reader with the plaintive question: Can sluts fall in love?

Heartiste takes the opportunity to drop some (pseudo)science on the questioner. By which I mean he plucks this nugget of not-quite-scientific nonsense from his posterior:

Absolutely. But they can also fall out of love. And they do both more easily than non-sluts.

Sluts are a strange amalgam of genetic, environmental, and “gray area” influences. Hormones are a good example of a gray area somewhere between the environment and genes which shapes character. While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do during lovemaking, which means the hard slut is less likely to emotionally bond when she’s spermally bonded.

Ah love, sweet ineffable love!

It’s not quite clear how Heartiste became an expert on love, since he seems to thoroughly hate the women he spends so much of his life obsessing about.

Elsewhere in the same “reader mailbag” post, for example, he urges another question-writer to gaslight a former girlfriend who is still showing interest in him in order to score some easy sex. I’ve bolded some of the more repugnant bits for those who’d rather skim than read Mr. H.

She wants the lines of communication open, because she still has hope you’ll give her what she needs. Reply, but only a fraction of the time she texts. Initially, keep it friendly and frivolous, but don’t allow yourself to get boxed into a “friends forever?” interrogation. If she starts down that road, first, know she doesn’t really mean it, and second, amputate that rotten limb of conversation promptly. “You’re so funny” is a reply that will light a fire under her hamster’s ass. Anytime she sends you one of those “just thinking about you” texts, reply “aw that’s sweet.” If she texts, “just got our hair done”, reply, “thanks! i needed to know this.”

The idea is that you are reinforcing your relative higher value by repeatedly and (some would say) sadistically mocking her eagerness to keep you in her life.

Allow for a few weeks of this empty banter, then maneuver her into your fornication zone with a disarming suggestion: “If you need to talk, you can swing by tomorrow (tonight’s no good)”. Through the expert deployment of ambiguous promises, you want her to believe you are warming to the idea of a committed, conventional long-term relationship. The goal is increasing perceptions of your “commitment attainability”, and that will require some feints to the beta side. Convinced of your good intentions, you can extract sexual goodies in this manner for another six months or so, before the process begins anew.

What a charmer!

Heartiste is fond of spinning out these sorts of sadistic fantasies, and his fans lap them up. It’s not clear if any of them have spoken to an actual human woman in years.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

172 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Incognita Secunda
7 years ago

Unfortunately, I think the greater likelihood is that they do talk to women, that they do use these techniques on them–and that they work more often than they should. PUA techniques work horrifyingly well on women who are either chronically or situationally vulnerable and insecure–and women are still taught, in our society, that they are worth less than men, so you might be unpleasantly surprised how effective this vile manipulation is. Not all women will fall for it, certainly–but, in my experience, emotional abuse is powerful stuff, and many women do fall for it, at one point or another.

Shadow
Shadow
7 years ago

……… spermally bonded? PUAs’ sciencing would be such a beautiful thing if it didn’t try so hard to make you wanna peel your skin off with a loofa

me and not you
me and not you
7 years ago

Not trying to nickpick, serious question here: isn’t this more just straight-up manipulation and less gaslighting? I thought gaslighting was a specific manipulation tactic where you get someone to question their grasp on reality.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
7 years ago

PUAs who turn relationships and love into transactional, competitive nightmares are always the most disturbing to me, of all the misogynists you mock here.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do during lovemaking, which means the hard slut is less likely to emotionally bond when she’s spermally bonded.

So, he admits he’s using assfax. But then proceeds to frame his assfax as a completely logical conclusion.

I admit it’s been awhile since college, but although we did talk about the fact that oxytocin is released after an organism and it is associated with emotional bonding there was no mention of spermal bonding that I can recall.

He couldn’t possibly be using two assfax in one sentence could he?

My lady brain simply can’t keep up with the manly STEMlogic.

MaudeLL
7 years ago

I know it’s a detail, but… is “just got our hair done” a thing real people say? It sounds kind of straw-womaney.

deniseeliza
deniseeliza
7 years ago

Unfortunately, I think the greater likelihood is that they do talk to women, that they do use these techniques on them–and that they work more often than they should.

I’m sure some of them do. Some of the tactics they espouse sound frighteningly familiar to me. This particular post reminds me of a fellow I was interested in years and years ago. He strung me along for a while before I wised up.

I’m also reading Why Does He Do That (which is about abusers) and some tactics I recognize from PUAs here are decoded in this book as well.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

I do think Heartiste is actually unwittingly providing a valuable service to many women here. Anytime I hear or see a woman who’s tempted to contact a guy who rejected her or is stringing her along I’m showing her this. There are a lot of guys out there who will take advantage of that. This is why if a guy rejects once I’m done.

magnesium
magnesium
7 years ago

This gives me an excellent idea for a new PUA product:

Sperma-Bond®
Instantly trick any feeeemale into falling in love with you with this scientitiously proven to work substance, derived from the homeopathic water memory of oxytocin. No more wasting weeks playing childish telephone games until grown women write you off as weird and forget about you. No more spending long nights at the club, sitting bitterly alone in the corner, stewing in your own clammy hate-sweat, waiting for those uppity females to come to their senses and offer you the sex you’re owed. Sperma-Bond® uses proven magic to bond tiny images of your face to her lady-brain cells using oxytocin and pheromones. See? “oxytocin”, “pheromone”, “bond”. We know science over here at the PUA research labs.

$65 for a 10ml bottle. While supplies last.

Melissia
7 years ago

I think the better question is, can MRAs love someone other than themselves? I’m not yet convinced the average one does (no, immediate family does not count).

Incognita Secunda
7 years ago

I think it counts as gaslighting insofar as this technique serves to disorient the woman: “He was being nasty to me, but now he’s opening up the door a bit. Maybe he was just joking with the mean stuff. Or maybe I’m just too sensitive.”

me and not you
me and not you
7 years ago

@incognita secunda – That makes sense. 90% of PUA stuff seems to be variations on gaslighting. The annoying thing is they act like only women are susceptible to manipulation, when it’s really just a human response.

Incognita Secunda
7 years ago
Reply to  me and not you

I’ve seen some PUA stuff that buys into the “war of the sexes” bullshit re: “Women manipulate us all the time with their strange ways and their sexy butts! It’s time to fight back!” But yeah, PUAs seem to think that women are just universally idiots who therefore either deserve to be tricked or need to be tricked into doing what they actually want to do in the first place–which just happens to be sleeping with men like them, who treat women like dogshit. They don’t recognize that what they’re doing is, very simply, pathological emotional abuse of people who are as fully human as they are.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

“Spermal bonding” is officially what I’m calling sleeping on sticky sheets from now on.

Taino
Taino
7 years ago

That slut thing is confusing. Is the guy in the example looking for a wife and is concerned about her taking off? Or does he just like the doe-eyed ga ga infatuation from a woman who feels that “sex is special?” He can’t blame her for the fact that guys are easy and it does not take long for a woman to know how easy sex is to get and thus her view of it changes from “special” to “meh”

duckbunny
7 years ago

Spermal bonding would seem to imply that sex creates a physiological change, seperate from the purely “emotional” effect of hormones. What is the nature of this connection? How does it affect the people involved? What makes it clearly distinct from the emotional connection, given that the emotional bond is specified to utilise physiological mechanisms such as oxytocin?
Are the answers to these questions beyond the ken of mere mortals?

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I used to use dental glue for some of my glass projects, but I’ll have to try new SpermaBond!

I love the smell of assfax in the morning. Heartiste is aware that men produce oxytocin too, isn’t he?

sparky
sparky
7 years ago

“Spermally bonded.”

I think he’s mistaken a woman’s heart for his old gym socks.

daintydougal
daintydougal
7 years ago

Well reading that made me feel rather unwell. Does he think he’s some science genius? I bet he wears a labcoat at all times.

‘the hard slut’
‘spermally bonded’
‘rotten limb of conversation’
‘light a fire under her hamster’s ass’
‘fornication zone’
‘“commitment attainability”’
‘feints to the beta side’

It’s like horrible, horrible poetry.

Fibinachi
7 years ago

MaudeLL | June 17, 2014 at 10:01 am
I know it’s a detail, but… is “just got our hair done” a thing real people say? It sounds kind of straw-womaney.

Once, because I had not had a haircut in six months and my tangled tufts of hay were becoming as to the thick jungle vines of your average South American tropical bush, I did indeed text someone that very portentious phrase.

Clearly I’m some kind of hard slut.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

I’ve no hard evidence

*all the laughter*

Fartiste has no evidence at all. A “slut” isn’t even something that exists outside of his imagination. “Spermal bonding” does not exist outside of his imagination. “Alpha males” do not exist outside of his imagination. His superior ability to attract women does not exist outside his imagination. He has his own misogynist fantasies and pathetic misogynist fans who get off on reading them. That’s the extent of what he has: power fantasies that make him feel superior and other douchey dudebros who enjoy his fantasies as much as he does.

The man hasn’t the foggiest idea of how ridiculous he is. That’s what makes him so ripe for ridicule.

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
7 years ago

Fines double in fornication zones to protect spermal bonding agents.

(where I live driving fines double in construction zones to protect workers and that’s what “fornication zone” makes me think of)

I think I need more info about soft sluts before I can fully utilize this advice.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

Or does he just like the doe-eyed ga ga infatuation from a woman who feels that “sex is special?”

Really? Scare quotes around “sex is special” and the claim that women who believe so are infantile?
WTF?

You know, I have friends who have multiple partners and in no way does that indicate that sex isn’t special or that the people they have sex with are not special to them. I stopped by to see a polyamorous friend of mine semi-recently and she had just gotten back from fixing her bf’s car for him as a surprise. She enjoys a variety of sexual partners. That does not mean she isn’t a romantic or emotionally invested in her relationships with other people. I’ve seen her help ex-lovers move, help them out after a tragedy and she’s a good friend to those she isn’t fucking too. She’s a sweet, caring person. Sex can be casual and not be mechanical or cheap.

I am exceptionally picky about who I fuck and what kind of sexual relationship I want and I do indeed think my lover and the sex we have are special. Sex does not require love for a lover to be considered special, nor does sex need to be divorced from love for a woman to fuck like a rational adult. I’m in love and have been for 20 yrs. I’m hardly a doe eyed child who is reduced to blabbering idiocy by the sex I have. I don’t like the insinuation that I am.

Were you saying something else and I missed it? If I’ve misconstrued, I’m sorry, but you seem to be suggesting some insulting things about both monogamy and promiscuity.

He can’t blame her for the fact that guys are easy and it does not take long for a woman to know how easy sex is to get and thus her view of it changes from “special” to “meh”

Really? Getting the sex a straight woman wants is easy for her? Women live in a sexual utopia and only men find it difficult to fulfill their sexual desires? Sounds like you buy that “gate keeper” bullshit. If it were that easy sex would become “meh” to women (which I take to mean boring or uninteresting)? Really?

Care to back those assertions up with citations?

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

He can’t blame her for the fact that guys are easy and it does not take long for a woman to know how easy sex is to get and thus her view of it changes from “special” to “meh”

^that was meant to be block quoted.

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

If a “soft slut” pumps iron long enough, does she become a “hard slut”?
😀

…I couldn’t resist.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

She becomes a hard slut after the spermal bonding sets up.

cloudiah
7 years ago

All the lulz for the Spermabond jokes.

runsinbackground
runsinbackground
7 years ago

I think “spermally bonded” is supposed to be a sticky-sheets joke, but all of the bullshit about oxytocin and “hard sluts” is throwing us off. Yet another example of Heartiste tripping over his own dick in pursuit of all that sweet, sweet Tucker Max cash. Also, as long as we’re on the subject of trying to parse PUA terms of art, does anybody know what the hell a “hard” slut is supposed to be? I’m assuming that it’s in contrast to a “soft” slut, which would be a woman who is vulnerable to a bar pick-up but who isn’t quite vulnerable enough that an enterprising PUA would have to exercise constant vigilance against other men picking her up from under him (so to speak).

Karalora
Karalora
7 years ago

“Spermally bonded.” These guys just love the idea that their spunk is a magic potion (LIQUID FUCKING GOLD) that causes women to become their sex-slaves, don’t they? Like a really smutty twist on the blood-bonded ghouls in Vampire: The Masquerade.

Puddleglum
7 years ago

Spermal bonding just made me wonder what he eats, since, y’know, sperm isn’t supposed to be a glue alternative.

katz
7 years ago

Isn’t chimpanzee sperm more like that? A solid plug rather than a liquid?

…I am ashamed that I know something about chimpanzee sperm.

insanitybytes22
7 years ago

Spermally bonded?? WTH is that?

insanitybytes22
7 years ago

“While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do..”

Not to quibble with such a fine example of peer reviewed science, but I suggest the exact opposite. Those able to engage in prostitution without the aid of several addictive substances, probably have a surplus of oxytocin. Oxytocin is what gives you a grin and bear it tolerance for the intolerable, like babies throwing up on you or men using you as a toilet.

Alice Sanguinaria
7 years ago

What, “spermically bonded”? Say what now.

duckbunny
7 years ago

Wow, thanks, insanitybytes. Nice of you to suggest that sex workers must be physically abnormal.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
7 years ago

@insanitybytes22

I had the exact same response when I read that – that it seems likelier that it would be more rather than less oxytocin than normal.

Then I realized I was trying to logically analyze something that is bullshit in the strictest sense of the word (in that the person saying it neither knows nor cares whether the statement is factual or not, only whether it is tactically useful).

…I hate having to deal with bullshitters, because my initial impulse is to always take an argument at face value. They’re a constant reminder that I’ve got a gullible streak a mile wide.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
7 years ago

I doubt that’s what s/he’s doing, duckbunny. Especially since in the strictest sense of the word, *everybody* is “abnormal.”

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
7 years ago

I suspect he is not using “slut” to literally mean sex worker but a woman who’s Doin Sex Rong, according to his own arbitrary standard.

Emmy Rae
Emmy Rae
7 years ago

Maybe sluts of any hardness rating are less likely to emotionally bond because they’re annoyed at being spermally bonded to this guy’s nasty sheets.

banshee
banshee
7 years ago

Spermal bonding is more likely what happens to their fingers and palms in the lonely gloom of their parents’ basements.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Karalora — hey now, most clans are, on a whole, a hell of a lot nicer to their ghouls than these guys are to women! They’re like…Tzimisce or something.

weirwoodtreehugger
7 years ago

I’ve always wondered how people define slut. Interestingly, I just about never get called that even though according to every survey I see I’ve had a higher than average number of sexual partners. Is it because I’m kind of introverted and reserved around people I don’t know well and don’t flirt much?

That word has never struck me as having anything to do with number of sexual partners. It’s sometimes a gendered slur many men use against women when she does something he doesn’t like. It’s sometimes used by another woman who has internalized misogyny and is threatened by something the woman being called a slut has done.

At least that’s been my experience.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
7 years ago

There’s a street in San Francisco called “Sloat,” and for a while in college, I tried to get people to use it as a male analogue for slut.

It never caught on, unfortunately; it took me a few more years to realize that there was no “market” (if I can use that term in this context) for a word that describes male promiscuity outside a committed relationship in a negative light.

Nope, no male privilege there….

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
7 years ago

‘What the duce?’ Is what I say whenever I read stupid stuff like this.

WWTH

“I’ve always wondered how people define slut. Interestingly, I just about never get called that even though according to every survey I see I’ve had a higher than average number of sexual partners. Is it because I’m kind of introverted and reserved around people I don’t know well and don’t flirt much?

That word has never struck me as having anything to do with number of sexual partners. It’s sometimes a gendered slur many men use against women when she does something he doesn’t like. It’s sometimes used by another woman who has internalized misogyny and is threatened by something the woman being called a slut has done.

At least that’s been my experience.”

I believe it’s all about control and jealously. The same goes for other gender slurs.

Puddleglum
7 years ago

Absolutely. But they can also fall out of love. And they do both more easily than non-sluts.

I don’t know why, but this really amused me.

Since there isn’t really a definition of slut vs non-slut (people who’ll sleep with me vs people who won’t is a little too subjective), he basically said, some people can fall in and out of love more easily than other people.

Duh.

pallygirl
pallygirl
7 years ago

PUAs: the only way they can get females to have sex with them is to constantly lie.

These guys must be great employees too, as they have framed lying as a norm.

2-D Man
2-D Man
7 years ago

Hard sluts are, of course, more difficult to scratch and tend to have large smooth surfaces along naturally occurring cleavage.
Spermal bonding tends to be more effective on scuffed surfaces, and thus hard sluts are less prone to it.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
7 years ago

So, what number is considered a “hard” slut on D’ohs Hardness Scale?

Are we talking like a 7 or 8?

2-D Man
2-D Man
7 years ago

A hard slut is typically listed as a 9 or a 10 but when the Professional Unbiased Analyzer finds out that she’s a slut her value hardness drops down to a 5 or so. She tends to keep more of it if she’s, like, really hot. Like, REALLY hot, y’know?

Lea
Lea
7 years ago

I too take issue with the comment calling prostitution “Men using women as toilets”.
Sex workers = / = human toilets. Don’t do that.

…and please do not excuse or hand wave comments like that away.

1 2 3 4