Love is in the air at the Chateau Heartiste, the online home of the racist, woman-hating pickup artiste with an “he” at the start of his made up name. In a recent post, Heartiste responds to a reader with the plaintive question: Can sluts fall in love?
Heartiste takes the opportunity to drop some (pseudo)science on the questioner. By which I mean he plucks this nugget of not-quite-scientific nonsense from his posterior:
Absolutely. But they can also fall out of love. And they do both more easily than non-sluts.
Sluts are a strange amalgam of genetic, environmental, and “gray area” influences. Hormones are a good example of a gray area somewhere between the environment and genes which shapes character. While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do during lovemaking, which means the hard slut is less likely to emotionally bond when she’s spermally bonded.
Ah love, sweet ineffable love!
It’s not quite clear how Heartiste became an expert on love, since he seems to thoroughly hate the women he spends so much of his life obsessing about.
Elsewhere in the same “reader mailbag” post, for example, he urges another question-writer to gaslight a former girlfriend who is still showing interest in him in order to score some easy sex. I’ve bolded some of the more repugnant bits for those who’d rather skim than read Mr. H.
She wants the lines of communication open, because she still has hope you’ll give her what she needs. Reply, but only a fraction of the time she texts. Initially, keep it friendly and frivolous, but don’t allow yourself to get boxed into a “friends forever?” interrogation. If she starts down that road, first, know she doesn’t really mean it, and second, amputate that rotten limb of conversation promptly. “You’re so funny” is a reply that will light a fire under her hamster’s ass. Anytime she sends you one of those “just thinking about you” texts, reply “aw that’s sweet.” If she texts, “just got our hair done”, reply, “thanks! i needed to know this.”
The idea is that you are reinforcing your relative higher value by repeatedly and (some would say) sadistically mocking her eagerness to keep you in her life.
Allow for a few weeks of this empty banter, then maneuver her into your fornication zone with a disarming suggestion: “If you need to talk, you can swing by tomorrow (tonight’s no good)”. Through the expert deployment of ambiguous promises, you want her to believe you are warming to the idea of a committed, conventional long-term relationship. The goal is increasing perceptions of your “commitment attainability”, and that will require some feints to the beta side. Convinced of your good intentions, you can extract sexual goodies in this manner for another six months or so, before the process begins anew.
What a charmer!
Heartiste is fond of spinning out these sorts of sadistic fantasies, and his fans lap them up. It’s not clear if any of them have spoken to an actual human woman in years.
Unfortunately, I think the greater likelihood is that they do talk to women, that they do use these techniques on them–and that they work more often than they should. PUA techniques work horrifyingly well on women who are either chronically or situationally vulnerable and insecure–and women are still taught, in our society, that they are worth less than men, so you might be unpleasantly surprised how effective this vile manipulation is. Not all women will fall for it, certainly–but, in my experience, emotional abuse is powerful stuff, and many women do fall for it, at one point or another.
……… spermally bonded? PUAs’ sciencing would be such a beautiful thing if it didn’t try so hard to make you wanna peel your skin off with a loofa
Not trying to nickpick, serious question here: isn’t this more just straight-up manipulation and less gaslighting? I thought gaslighting was a specific manipulation tactic where you get someone to question their grasp on reality.
PUAs who turn relationships and love into transactional, competitive nightmares are always the most disturbing to me, of all the misogynists you mock here.
So, he admits he’s using assfax. But then proceeds to frame his assfax as a completely logical conclusion.
I admit it’s been awhile since college, but although we did talk about the fact that oxytocin is released after an organism and it is associated with emotional bonding there was no mention of spermal bonding that I can recall.
He couldn’t possibly be using two assfax in one sentence could he?
My lady brain simply can’t keep up with the manly STEMlogic.
I know it’s a detail, but… is “just got our hair done” a thing real people say? It sounds kind of straw-womaney.
I’m sure some of them do. Some of the tactics they espouse sound frighteningly familiar to me. This particular post reminds me of a fellow I was interested in years and years ago. He strung me along for a while before I wised up.
I’m also reading Why Does He Do That (which is about abusers) and some tactics I recognize from PUAs here are decoded in this book as well.
I do think Heartiste is actually unwittingly providing a valuable service to many women here. Anytime I hear or see a woman who’s tempted to contact a guy who rejected her or is stringing her along I’m showing her this. There are a lot of guys out there who will take advantage of that. This is why if a guy rejects once I’m done.
This gives me an excellent idea for a new PUA product:
Sperma-Bond®
Instantly trick any feeeemale into falling in love with you with this scientitiously proven to work substance, derived from the homeopathic water memory of oxytocin. No more wasting weeks playing childish telephone games until grown women write you off as weird and forget about you. No more spending long nights at the club, sitting bitterly alone in the corner, stewing in your own clammy hate-sweat, waiting for those uppity females to come to their senses and offer you the sex you’re owed. Sperma-Bond® uses proven magic to bond tiny images of your face to her lady-brain cells using oxytocin and pheromones. See? “oxytocin”, “pheromone”, “bond”. We know science over here at the PUA research labs.
$65 for a 10ml bottle. While supplies last.
I think the better question is, can MRAs love someone other than themselves? I’m not yet convinced the average one does (no, immediate family does not count).
I think it counts as gaslighting insofar as this technique serves to disorient the woman: “He was being nasty to me, but now he’s opening up the door a bit. Maybe he was just joking with the mean stuff. Or maybe I’m just too sensitive.”
@incognita secunda – That makes sense. 90% of PUA stuff seems to be variations on gaslighting. The annoying thing is they act like only women are susceptible to manipulation, when it’s really just a human response.
I’ve seen some PUA stuff that buys into the “war of the sexes” bullshit re: “Women manipulate us all the time with their strange ways and their sexy butts! It’s time to fight back!” But yeah, PUAs seem to think that women are just universally idiots who therefore either deserve to be tricked or need to be tricked into doing what they actually want to do in the first place–which just happens to be sleeping with men like them, who treat women like dogshit. They don’t recognize that what they’re doing is, very simply, pathological emotional abuse of people who are as fully human as they are.
“Spermal bonding” is officially what I’m calling sleeping on sticky sheets from now on.
That slut thing is confusing. Is the guy in the example looking for a wife and is concerned about her taking off? Or does he just like the doe-eyed ga ga infatuation from a woman who feels that “sex is special?” He can’t blame her for the fact that guys are easy and it does not take long for a woman to know how easy sex is to get and thus her view of it changes from “special” to “meh”
Spermal bonding would seem to imply that sex creates a physiological change, seperate from the purely “emotional” effect of hormones. What is the nature of this connection? How does it affect the people involved? What makes it clearly distinct from the emotional connection, given that the emotional bond is specified to utilise physiological mechanisms such as oxytocin?
Are the answers to these questions beyond the ken of mere mortals?
I used to use dental glue for some of my glass projects, but I’ll have to try new SpermaBond!
I love the smell of assfax in the morning. Heartiste is aware that men produce oxytocin too, isn’t he?
“Spermally bonded.”
I think he’s mistaken a woman’s heart for his old gym socks.
Well reading that made me feel rather unwell. Does he think he’s some science genius? I bet he wears a labcoat at all times.
‘the hard slut’
‘spermally bonded’
‘rotten limb of conversation’
‘light a fire under her hamster’s ass’
‘fornication zone’
‘“commitment attainability”’
‘feints to the beta side’
It’s like horrible, horrible poetry.
MaudeLL | June 17, 2014 at 10:01 am
I know it’s a detail, but… is “just got our hair done” a thing real people say? It sounds kind of straw-womaney.
Once, because I had not had a haircut in six months and my tangled tufts of hay were becoming as to the thick jungle vines of your average South American tropical bush, I did indeed text someone that very portentious phrase.
Clearly I’m some kind of hard slut.
*all the laughter*
Fartiste has no evidence at all. A “slut” isn’t even something that exists outside of his imagination. “Spermal bonding” does not exist outside of his imagination. “Alpha males” do not exist outside of his imagination. His superior ability to attract women does not exist outside his imagination. He has his own misogynist fantasies and pathetic misogynist fans who get off on reading them. That’s the extent of what he has: power fantasies that make him feel superior and other douchey dudebros who enjoy his fantasies as much as he does.
The man hasn’t the foggiest idea of how ridiculous he is. That’s what makes him so ripe for ridicule.
Fines double in fornication zones to protect spermal bonding agents.
(where I live driving fines double in construction zones to protect workers and that’s what “fornication zone” makes me think of)
I think I need more info about soft sluts before I can fully utilize this advice.
Really? Scare quotes around “sex is special” and the claim that women who believe so are infantile?
WTF?
You know, I have friends who have multiple partners and in no way does that indicate that sex isn’t special or that the people they have sex with are not special to them. I stopped by to see a polyamorous friend of mine semi-recently and she had just gotten back from fixing her bf’s car for him as a surprise. She enjoys a variety of sexual partners. That does not mean she isn’t a romantic or emotionally invested in her relationships with other people. I’ve seen her help ex-lovers move, help them out after a tragedy and she’s a good friend to those she isn’t fucking too. She’s a sweet, caring person. Sex can be casual and not be mechanical or cheap.
I am exceptionally picky about who I fuck and what kind of sexual relationship I want and I do indeed think my lover and the sex we have are special. Sex does not require love for a lover to be considered special, nor does sex need to be divorced from love for a woman to fuck like a rational adult. I’m in love and have been for 20 yrs. I’m hardly a doe eyed child who is reduced to blabbering idiocy by the sex I have. I don’t like the insinuation that I am.
Were you saying something else and I missed it? If I’ve misconstrued, I’m sorry, but you seem to be suggesting some insulting things about both monogamy and promiscuity.
He can’t blame her for the fact that guys are easy and it does not take long for a woman to know how easy sex is to get and thus her view of it changes from “special” to “meh”
Really? Getting the sex a straight woman wants is easy for her? Women live in a sexual utopia and only men find it difficult to fulfill their sexual desires? Sounds like you buy that “gate keeper” bullshit. If it were that easy sex would become “meh” to women (which I take to mean boring or uninteresting)? Really?
Care to back those assertions up with citations?
^that was meant to be block quoted.
If a “soft slut” pumps iron long enough, does she become a “hard slut”?
😀
…I couldn’t resist.