Just a quick note to let you know that the protest against the AVFM Conference at the Doubletree in Detroit is happening right now. You can check the hashtag #NoMRA on Twitter for live updates. Here’s a Ms Magazine blog piece with more details.
I’ll have some thoughts on it all later.
Photo from @Katie_Speak on Twitter.
@marinerachel: The psychiatrist will definitely be able to help you with sleep and with your mood. I don’t know if there are pills that can help you eat, but if you can sleep, that’s a good start.
I struggled with disordered eating for a long time, and I found that force-feeding myself was not a good idea: it’s better to eat when you don’t feel like you’re going to toss yor cookies afterwards. Comfort food helped me a lot: I started feeling a lot less helpless about my appetite problems when I discovered I could eat a McDonalds meal and keep it down.
Huuuuuuuggggggzzzz
Also, the appointment on Wednesday sounds like a positive step.
When I was too depressed to be able to make decisions like what I sjould eat, I used to really depend on a handful of nuts to get me going. They were a really quick way to get some calories and protein into my body, which have me the energy to tackle the question of what else I should have. I don’t know if that will help you at all, but it worked for me sometimes.
I second girlscientist’s recommendation about food. I have a hard time eating when I’m depressed or anxious, too. I end up putting away a lot of banana milkshakes and dry toast during those times. Don’t worry about nutrition right at this moment, just find something that you get down comfortably and that will stay down. If it means you eat nothing but ice cream for a while, so be it 🙂
I feel very fortunate to have finally been taken seriously re: my need for psychiatric help and that I was offered urgent care. It took several tries but I believe it will be worth it.
One thing the shrink and psych nurse did with me last night was ask me to eat. I told them I couldn’t, that the thought of having anything textured in my mouth that I would have to chew made me feel nauseous and that I would vomit. They emphasised the importance of eating and repeatedly asked me to try. They didn’t have any sloppy food so they brought me a cheese sandwich, two arrowroot cookies, an orange and a plastic knife. I cut half the sandwich into tiny pieces and very slowly with lots of water was able to eat some of it.
@marinerachel: I’ve been there and I know exactly what it’s like when the thought of eating makes you want to throw up. I can tell you this: you ate that partial sandwhich like a boss. That was really badass of you.
Make sure you drink water. I’ve totally been unable to eat with depression- I stopped speaking as well. Comfort foods rock.
The only perk I can see in this whole situation is I’m losing weight. My skinny jeans fit a bit better. Maybe having the pleasure I’d usually take in eating stolen from me will result in me getting back into that normal BMI range.
Seconding about eating like a boss! I’ve been through that horrible feeling too – and knowing I’d need to eat, because if I didn’t I’d feel more nauseuous still. You did brilliantly managing to get food down.
I’ve never had applesauce; is it like pureed apples?
Thirding (fourthing?) the food recs. Comfort food, whatever you like, whatever you feel like. If you are concerned about food, try smoothies and veggie juice. Milkshakes! After my surgery I drank three milkshakes a day!
It sounds like you are taking the first steps. Stick with it, love and spoil and forgive yourself. Taking care of yourself sometimes looks like ‘unhealthy’ things, like sleeping in, junk food, and daytime tv. Do what you like, what you need, no guilt. *hugs if you want them*
@marinerachel: You will get the pleasure of eating back, don’t worry. There is no way in hell he stole that from you.
Applesauce is more like mashed apples. You steam the apple slices with a little bit of boiling water until they fall apart. You can further puree the slop if you want it really smooth.
@marinerachel: Thanks! I might just make myself that for dessert one of these days 😉
My oma used to give it to my sister and I for dessert and would always emphasise that she got more than me because she was the older one. I have since outgrown her by about five inches.
Oma as in grandmother? Are you of Dutch descent?
Also, way to foster good sibling relationships, Oma. That wasn’t cool of her :
That sounds like the way I’ve always thought of the baby food I apparently loved – a sort of thick apple sauce.
Damn, now I’m hungry. And it’s past midnight, I’d better head to bed soon!
Hugs all.
I know, that was a faux pas of Oma’s for certain. All it did was make me resent my sister. It’s not as though two tablespoons of mushy apples was going to give an active little kid three years younger than her sister the diabeetus.
My mom’s from Germany, hence Oma.
One of the joys of being grown up – you can make yourself applesauce and eat as much or as little as you like 😉
Yeah: my parents gave me and my brother (who’s two years younger than me) the same rights at the same time, instead of at the same age. Didn’t make me feel friendly towards my brother at the time.
@titianblue: Being grown up is the best in that sense! I can even decide if and when I get an ice cream!
Having the right and responsibility to feed myself has been troublesome for me. I was chunky during some parts of my childhood but not fat. I got fat once I moved out. The association with poor health and decreased life expectancy in addition to the knowledge it becomes more difficult with age to lose weight has inspired me to get the weight off and adopt healthy eating habits over the last year. I’m nowhere near any of my goals. I’m more aware of my actions though which enables me to make better decisions for my health.
I make homemade applesauce to go with potato pancakes. Fresh potato pancakes with applesauce and sour cream is one of my favorite dinners.
Reminds me – there’s some leftover applesauce in the refrigerator. Thanks for reminding me, marinerachel!
Marinerachel, you are doing really really well.
However, it is midnight here, so I am off. Hugs everyone. 🙂
I’m having another dark moment. I desperately want to speak to him. I want his acceptance more than anything.
Hang in there, marinerachel. Don’t give him power over you.
How about telling us about more about the letter you’d like to write to him but probably won’t send? You can use us as a proxy to have at him, if you’d like…