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A Voice for Men’s Robert O’Hara rebuts misogyny charge with revelation that his mother is a woman

Relationships with women: "Complicated and oftentimes dangerous."
Relationships with women: “Complicated and oftentimes dangerous.”

Men’s Rights Activists continue to make strategic use of the media attention they’ve gained as a result of the Elliot Rodger killings. Yesterday, Al Jazeera America ran an interview with A Voice for Men’s “US News Director” Robert O’Hara in which he touched upon numerous important Men’s Rights issues, like the fact that he doesn’t hate women because his mother is one, and how it was totally an amazing publicity coup for AVFM to be singled out as a misogynistic hate site by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Let’s look at some highlights from his Q and A. (The block quotes are direct quotes from the man, the legend, himself.)

Men aren’t having a giant patriarchy party all the time:

The idea of male entitlement is almost entirely a fabrication of feminist ideology. The idea that men kind of run the show – this patriarchy theory – and that we’re having a big huge party at the expense of women is really a hateful idea.

I don’t have the statistics with me but I’m totally sure that rape almost never happens:

We hear all these silly lies: there’s a rapist behind every corner; all men are potential rapists. …

I don’t have the exact statistics with me right now, but you’ll see it’s usually around 2 percent of women in their lifetime will have some kind of problem with sexual assault. …

[T]his whole rape things has been used by feminists to garner political power, lots of it, and money. The whole thing has been used as a scam.

(O’Hara’s claim about the rareness of rape was such a whopper that Al Jazeera felt obligated to note that a recent large-scale study by the Centers for Disease Control found that one in five women in America had experienced rape or attempted rape. Not one in fifty.)

When feminists talk about rape it apparently causes homophobia or unhealthy gay sex or something:

There’s no doubt that male sexuality has been demonized in our culture. And that’s a real shame. I think that inhibits a lot of men’s sexuality to the extent where it’s not healthy – especially homosexuals, especially gay men.

The Southern Poverty Law Center is totally irrelevant and besides they did us a favor by calling us hateful:

The SPLC, they’re not a credible organization, not like they once were. And I think the whole this of them listing us, or targeting us as a hate group didn’t work out too well for them. It worked out much better for us [in terms of publicity] than it did for them.

All you need is love:

I love women. My mom is a woman. … What I do not like is that we live in a culture and in a legal environment where if you do choose to have a relationship with a woman, it makes things very complicated and oftentimes dangerous.

Great job, Bob! Another flawless victory for the Men’s Rights Movement!

All mocking aside, I have found video proof of this last claim. Marriage can be very dangerous for men. Heck, they don’t even have to be the one getting married.

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fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

O’hara, every mother is a woman and you can still hate them. Examples: denying rape, confusing calling out harassment with ‘demonizing mens sexuality’ and saying having a relationship with a woman will be complicated and dangerous.

You just said that you hate women but you actually do. Epic fail

http://youtu.be/XoMlibeoin0

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Oh and poor boy in that video. I think he stood too long and lost circulation in his legs.

daintydougal
daintydougal
6 years ago

What do feminists’ ‘silly lies’ about rape have to do with gay men?
Is being asked not rape women turning men gay?

Also I’m glad to hear that the vast majority of presidents/heads of state are feminists! Thats a turn up for the books!

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Daintydougal

“Also I’m glad to hear that the vast majority of presidents/heads of state are feminists! Thats a turn up for the books!”

I didn’t know that! I’m glad too!

daintydougal
daintydougal
6 years ago

fruitloopsie: Every mother isn’t necessarily a woman, but I doubt mr O’Hara would recognise that anyway.

daintydougal
daintydougal
6 years ago

We just learn so much from them!

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Daintydougal

“fruitloopsie: Every mother isn’t necessarily a woman”

Oh yeah that’s right

“but I doubt mr O’Hara would recognise that”

I doubt that too

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
6 years ago

comment image

This is such a great club!

Nezumi
Nezumi
6 years ago

What’s the difference between an MRA and a Chua? Chua are generally intelligent and capable of understanding science. (… I swear, that’s funny if you’re into the same stuff I am.)

Athywren
Athywren
6 years ago

What do feminists’ ‘silly lies’ about rape have to do with gay men?
Is being asked not rape women turning men gay?

I’d like to see his numbers for this… I’ve managed to reach the age of 28 without raping a single person, but I still find women attractive. Am I immunised by failing to identify as male, or am I walking a tightrope here, with an endless drop of rape beneath me, and becoming gay on the platform ahead of me?

And, seriously, I hate, hate, hate, this ridiculous idea that criticising harassment and rape is “demonising male sexuality.” No. They are not aspects of normal male sexuality, and claiming them as such is demonising male sexuality. I don’t understand how they make the exact generalisations that they accuse feminists of making, and still manage to pretend to be reasonable, rational people.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Speaking as a representative of AVFM O’Hara says that most rape accusations are lies.

Then he says demonizing male sexuality turns men gay and being gay is unhealthy.

Then he denies that AVFM is a hate group.

MRA manly STEMlogic continues to be unassailable!

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Nezumi

I looked up chua and this is what I got:

https://forums.wildstar-online.com/forums/index.php?/topic/50615-looking-for-some-chua-style-inspiration/

Chua are from the game Wildstar is this what you’re talking about?

Zoon echoing Logan

Mgtow start off young I suppose

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

Every mother isn’t necessarily a woman

I’ve always read mother as “female parent”. Would a parent who isn’t a woman identify as a mother?

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

Also, “I don’t hate women! Some of my best parents are women!”

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I’ve always read mother as “female parent”. Would a parent who isn’t a woman identify as a mother?

Wouldn’t a trans man or non-binary person with a vagina/uterus who has given birth be a mother? If you look at mother as the one who provided the egg and the father as the one who provided the sperm.*

Obviously the vast majority of misogynists have a woman for a mother, but it is theoretically possible for a misogynist to have a mother who isn’t.

* To be clear, I am not saying adoptive or step parents who didn’t provide the egg or sperm aren’t mothers and fathers.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

IIRC Thomas Beatie (a trans man who was briefly famous for being pregnant) identifies as a father. I wouldn’t call a non-woman a mother unless they said iy was OK. To me the word is so inherently gendered and I wouldn’t want to misgender the person.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Good to know.

I wouldn’t personally call a non-woman parent a mother without permission. I was more thinking along the lines of how the kids identify their parents if that makes sense? I figured every family might be different and use different terms.

daintydougal
daintydougal
6 years ago

I suppose ‘mother’ is just a title. I was thinking the egg/supplier/incubator is just ‘mother’ but that isn’t the case I guess. I really shouldn’t start these things I know nothing about. Sorry chaps and chapesses and chapinis

daintydougal
daintydougal
6 years ago

Stupid ‘words’ with their stupid ‘meanings’.

cloudiah
6 years ago

Oh dog, Thomas Beatie. The founder of /r/MensRights repeatedly misgendered him the other day, purposefully. It was so terrible even the other misters downvoted him.

For some reason, I found the idea that Robert O’Hara is a pedicab driver (operator?) amusing. I just picture him pedaling around, hating women.

bluecatbabe
bluecatbabe
6 years ago

So, um, according to this dude, rape is such an essential part of male sexuality that criticising it (that’s criticising *rape*) demonises male sexuality and inhibits men to the extent they might turn gay – which is “unhealthy”?

There can be no “WHUT?” emphatic enough for this.

Remind me again – who are the man-haters? People who criticise rape, or people who claim that that’s just what guys are like, folks, what can ya do? (Yes, ALL guys except for the “unhealthy” ones, obvs).

Oh, and being gay is the result of a guy’s naturally rapey instincts being inhibited to an unhealthy degree…

daintydougal
daintydougal
6 years ago

Whats even more brilliant (not brilliant) is this guy is the “US News Director” saying these things in an actual interview that potentially anyone can get hold of! It’s not some random reddit post they can sweep under the carpet, this guy is officially saying what they believe! I wonder if there’ll be a response from elam.

wordsp1nner
wordsp1nner
6 years ago

weirwoodtreehugger,

The funniest bit is the idea that the father-to-be was so busy that he lost weight.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

No, no, he was spermjacked!

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Just found out about this, what a nice surprise for that couple: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jimdalrympleii/hero-who-stopped-seattle-shooter-has-his-wedding-registry-an

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I wonder how Randy the guinea pig will be able to keep up with those child support payments. I’m sure the evil gynocratic court system will bring him to financial ruin.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

They’ll charge more for the female children coming into the animal park, because it was totes obvs. a feminazichild that caused the problem in the first place.

They would have received a terrorist phone call of a soft high-pitched voice going baa, baa, baa, which was clearly the work of the feminazi animal liberation army. Then the whole Bay of guinea Pigs alarm occurred.

Ledasmom
Ledasmom
6 years ago

A guinea pig named Sooty did the same sort of thing back in 2000, except he got into a pen with only 24 females and they found him the next morning. Apparently he slept for two days afterwards.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Right. Bob doesn’t hate women, and I am the Queen of England.

I’m kind of surprised Paul turfed this job out.

samantha
samantha
6 years ago

What do feminists’ ‘silly lies’ about rape have to do with gay men?
Is being asked not rape women turning men gay?

Sarcasm warning.

@daintydougal – Silly. Of COURSE those “silly lies” have EVERYTHING to do with turning men gay. Here is how it goes: Men, the poor darlings, are gifted (or burdened) with the godly sexy power Penis Imperative, you see, and if they cannot rape freely, their Saintly Penis Power backs up and explodes. To avoid this terrible consequence, they must turn gay.

Of course, once they can rape freely again and not be attacked with those evil and silly lies, they will turn back into the penis-wielding Studly God-men that is their true and holy nature.

And now I have even less respect for the MRA’s then I ever had before. Bleah!

Jo
Jo
6 years ago

I didn’t interpret his quote as saying that anti-rape campaigns turn men gay. Instead, be seemed to be saying that men’s sexuality is repressed by the feminist overlords and as a result of that men, especially gay men, are harmed. I would guess he’s suggesting that it’s something to do with having large numbers of sexual partners being more desirable to the average man than the average woman and that desire being stalled on by those terrible anti-promiscuity feminists? Oh, I don’t know. Trying to get inside these people’s heads to even be able to follow their sentences is pretty miserable. No wonder they’re all so angry if they live there.

Jo
Jo
6 years ago

be = he
stalled = inhibited

Damn autocorrect…

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
6 years ago

I don’t have the exact statistics with me right now, but you’ll see it’s usually around 2 percent of women in their lifetime will have some kind of problem with sexual assault.

I’m astounded that someone can live in the real world and believe this, or expect anyone else in the real world to believe it. I’m sure the sky is a beautiful color where Robert lives.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

I think that inhibits a lot of men’s sexuality to the extent where it’s not healthy – especially homosexuals, especially gay men.

FEMINISM MADE ME GAY!

Also, I really, really wish I’d never hear someone defend themselves by saying “they LOVE [x].” My rapist “loved” me. Willing to bet the primary child-molester in my family “loved” his kids. It’s incredibly common for terrible people to claim they love the people they hurt most, because they want to induce confusion in their victims.

It’s why I like to use Bell Hooks’s definition: “Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.” It might mean there are some people you “should” love but don’t, but it makes things a lot more honest. You have have deep affection and a long-standing relationship with someone, and not love them.

RE: emilygoddess

Would a parent who isn’t a woman identify as a mother?

I know a genderqueerish trans guy who identifies as his son’s mother. It happens. Some trans guys who give birth to children see themselves as the kid’s father. It differs from person to person.

RE: cloudiah

The founder of /r/MensRights repeatedly misgendered him the other day, purposefully.

I am sooooo shocked.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: grumpycatisagirl

I’m astounded that someone can live in the real world and believe this, or expect anyone else in the real world to believe it.

Welcome to male privilege, where rape is something that happens far away from you and you don’t need to know shit about it, and people will STILL take you seriously.

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

On a completely irrelevant note– I love that vintage horror comics panel and wonder who drew it (it looks a bit like Basil Woolverton’s work to me but I’m not sure).

Nezumi
Nezumi
6 years ago

Yes, Chua are from WildStar. My point here is that they’re effectively an entire race of what we’d call sociopaths. They’re totally self-centered, and at best unconcerned with the suffering of others and at worst actively enjoy it. They are effectively incapable of understanding other perspectives: early on when playing an Aurin or Mordesh, one enemy chatter for some NPC Chua enemies is seemingly earnestly recommending you try burning down trees because it’s so fun — even though Aurin are closely tied to nature, and some were living in said trees and were trapped when they were set on fire. This… Reminds me a lot of MRAs in general and some of the quotes here in particular.

However, Chua tend to be genuinely knowledgeable and enthusiastic about science and technology, while MRAs tend to only pretend to know about them, and often come across less as genuinely enthusiastic about them than going for them because they think men are supposed to be inherently awesome at it, and evil women hopeless at them because of their defective ladybrains.

Michael McG
Michael McG
6 years ago

If the best thing you can say about women is that your mother was one…*throws up hands i disgust*

If the best thing you can say about women is that you like to have sex at them….*runs away screaming*

—I hope this won’t be interpreted as spamming. I originally misposted this in the most recent AVfM conference thread.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

Since when did the SPLC become “not credible?”

It was when they called attention to AVFM and the manosphere’s hateful misogynistic ideology, wasn’t it?

And by “not credible,” O’Hara means “we don’t like that the SPLC called us out on our hateful misogynistic ideology,” right?

Funny how that works.

And the only way anyone can think that:

it’s usually around 2 percent of women in their lifetime will have some kind of problem with sexual assault. …

…is if they are a flat out rape apologist. Every credible study up to and including the CDC one has the figure at about 20-25%.

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

There’s been a running shtik at Andrew Sullivan’s blog about the threat to masculinity. Apparently, decrying ‘toxic masculinity ‘ is a necromantic rite that summons Valerie Solanas the Lich Queen to cut off all male penises (penes?). The idea that there might be such a thing as NONtoxic masculinity is akin to dividing by zero.

toujoursgai
6 years ago

Did Gareth on The (British) Office once say, “How can I hate women? My mother’s a woman!” That line was already being parodied years ago, is what I’m saying. I’m kind of amazed that someone is still actually saying it without a trace of irony.

fluffypeony
6 years ago

Misogynistic menfolk always reassure us that they “love women.” But by “women” they only mean women who fall within a spectrum of desirable behaviors, attitudes, and looks. If you’re not silent when not agreeing, always pleasant and pleasing, and ready to offer up a sandwich or sex, then you’re not the kind of woman they “love.” Then you get called something else and they cannot “love” you. The saddest part to me is that, to be the kind of woman that these MRA-types can “love,” means that you are also likely the kind of woman they will hurt, as “woman” in this context doesn’t really mean “human.” And the moment you step into “human” behaviors, like getting angry, then you are no longer the kind of woman they can “love.” It’s a bit of a catch-22, really. Such an inability to truly love women as fully human beings is also sad for these men, as they don’t get to experience the depth of connection one can have with another person. In this, I am speaking from my own experience.

I can’t help but be reminded of James Taranto (the pile of enteric effluvia) who, after a stream of woman-hating commentary, affirmed that he “loves women,” verifying such “love” by noting he can be called “Tarantosaurus Sex.” (ick) The immediate association of “love” and “sex” is quite telling.

Aside from all of that, hello! I’m new…well, new to YOU. I’ve been enjoying this blog and the amazingly warm, witty, and wise (yay for alliteration!) commentary provided by this community for a good while now. David and the commentators are all manner of fabulous.

Puddleglum
6 years ago

Wouldn’t a trans man or non-binary person with a vagina/uterus who has given birth be a mother? If you look at mother as the one who provided the egg and the father as the one who provided the sperm.*

As a non-binary person with a uterus, I’m relatively comfortable with the term mother (mostly because explaining anything to people who don’t really need to know is annoying), but it’s always a personal choice and I wouldn’t call a trans man a mother unless he requested the title. I became a parent while I was still struggling with my identity, so for me ‘mom’ predated a lot. That said, there’s a lot of gendered baggage to the word ‘mother’ that I get tagged with, and could really do without. I really hate the ‘but you’re a mom!’ argument when I’m in a situation where I have to explain I’m agendered. Ugh.

Puddleglum
6 years ago

Every credible study up to and including the CDC one has the figure at about 20-25%.

MRAs don’t consider those credible studies. Don’t forget, science is misandry!

Melissia
6 years ago

Looks like the MRA douchebags noticed a respectable newspaper covered them and decided to spam the hell out of its comment section, in the Al Jazeera article.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

Honestly, if I were ever forced to give birth (I can’t imagine willingly choosing that kind of financial trainwreck), I would probably ID as the kid’s father. I sure as hell ain’t a mother! I’m just unfortunately the possessor of an organ that can grow small people in it.

Winter Walker
6 years ago

I think, were I ever forced to gestate, I’d call myself the Host Organism.
But I’ve seen Aliens too many times.

Melissia
6 years ago

For the forseeable future, for the moment I would call myself the patient at the abortion clinic…

Mind you, part of that is because I’m not interested in men to begin with, so it’d probably be the product of rape…

kittehserf
6 years ago

Melissia, same here. I’m only interested in one man, but even if then*, nope, not breeding.

*It can’t happen, but even if it could, I mean.

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