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antifeminism evil sexy ladies evil women imaginary backwards land men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA oppressed men red pill reddit sexual harassment that's completely wrong

[Not All] Redditors agree: "In 99% of societal contexts such as going to office, going to the supermarket … etc, it is men who have to be continually afraid of women."

They're very sneaky, these gals.
They’re very sneaky, these gals.

Oh, Reddit! Need another reminder that on Reddit, whiny lady-hating man-babies can be found outside the Men’s Rights and Red Pill subreddits? Take a look at this lovely comment from occasional Red Pill commenter purple4th  in Change My Views, which (the last I checked) had garnered nearly 150 net upvotes from the crowd there. Here’s the money quote:

[S]ocietal laws are so filled with misandry that in 99% of societal contexts such as going to office, going to the supermarket, going to the movies, etc;, it is men who have to be continually afraid of women.

That’s right, fellas. Women who worry about men harming them are all a bunch of big sillies. It’s MEN who should be worried Oh, sure those gals may look innocent, but don’t let your guard down for a minute lest one of them misander you with a false accusation of being too much of a dude! con

Purple4th continues:

As my investment banks’ Sexual Harassment presentation says, “It is harassment if she says so”. Period.

Really? I decided to look online to see if I could find any Sexual Harassment literature making that argument. A search for “It is harassment if she says so” in quotes returns only one hit on Google: Purple4th’s comment on Reddit.

In fact, the legal standard for sexual harassment — in the US at least —  is not “whatever the hell a random woman wants to call harassment.” It’s whether or not a “reasonable person” would see the behavior as harassment.

But that’s how it works in the real world. MRAs and the MRA-adjacent don’t live in the real world.

Thanks, AMRthroaway on Reddit for pointing me to this lovely quote.

 

 

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BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
6 years ago

99%, eh?! A bold statement, but I’m sure the boys have plenty of “evidence” [anecdotes with varying degrees of veracity/plausibility].

sarah
sarah
6 years ago

I just rolled my eyes so hard I think i may have damaged an optic nerve.

Fnoicby
Fnoicby
6 years ago

Lolz. Too hilarious. Reading their bizarre rantings, a lot of them seem to be upset by the allegedly unfounded “rape hysteria” of women. I suppose this follows logically in their minds, if we’re all out there hysterically fearing rape all the time, who knows what innocent man will be accused! Just for “finding a woman attractive”! You never know when it could happen to you! What do we call this, rape hysteria-hysteria? Rape accusation hysteria?

Andrea Harris (@SpinsterAndCat)

The human male must have seen of you extend her ovipositors and fill the other human male’s husk with eggs. What do we have to keep telling you about releasing your ink sac’s contents first so the others won’t see you hunt! Kindly inform the culprit that she is to report to Hive Central *immediately* for debriefing and an official reprimand!

cloudiah
6 years ago

Damage to optic nerves kind of comes with the territory around here. Be sure to limber up your eyeballs before reading!

“It is harassment if she says so” has some (selective) truth to it. One of the definitions of sexual harassment in the workplace is unwanted romantic/sexual attention. In other words, if you hit on your co-worker, and zie’s into it, it is not sexual harassment. If you hit on your co-worker and zie asks you to stop, that (usually) is not sexual harassment–unless you continue hitting on her. Continued unwanted sexual/romantic attention is sexual harassment.

It’s not gendered. If a woman hits on her male co-worker, and the attention is unwanted, and it continues, that’s sexual harassment. “It is harassment if he says so” too.

Where I work, the proportion of men and women filing sexual harassment complaints is nearing parity, but the total numbers have been going down steadily after years of sexual harassment education run by a staunch feminist. She runs a really great workshop, that actually made learning about sexual harassment fun as well as educational.

Winter Walker
6 years ago

@Andrea Harris:
Thank you for that illuminating post. You answered my question before I asked it – what the fuck do men have to be so afraid of? Now I know that my prior biology classes were sadly lacking. If you could be so kind as to share, where will I find my ovipositor, anyway?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

SHOPPING LIST

1. Canteloupe
2. Light bulbs
3. Greek yogurt
4. Clamato
5. Unwitting male victim
6. Attorney on speed-dial
7. Gum

cloudiah
6 years ago

The only thing I am shocked by on Buttercup’s shopping list is the clamato. XD

piratejennie
6 years ago

🙂 I was thinking that the yoghurt was a dead giveaway for misandrist intentions.

cloudiah
6 years ago

Also, you need to add bon bons, scented fucking candles, and flavored water to that list if you want to be considered a real feminist.

cloudiah
6 years ago

p.s. Someone just posted this Tom Tomorrow cartoon on r/amr.

Ally S
6 years ago

They can go fuck themselves. I just got done with a very upsetting argument with former “friends” about sexual harassment, and so seeing this now is making me even more upset. Why are so many men dismissive of sexual harassment? This is not only upsetting, but also hurtful. They don’t care about women at all, and somehow that’s no big deal to them.

Ally S
6 years ago

I’m sorry for spewing the obvious. I was kind of half-venting there.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Hey! Clamato’s delicious! (And misandric, especially if bearded.)

You know, if MRAs wanted to quake with fear inside their houses and stay far, far away from women, I’d be OK with that. I really can’t fathom being so clueless and at sea when it comes to basic human conduct that they’re afraid of triggering lawsuits left and right every time they inhabit the same airspace as a woman.

Or is this one of those “all women secretly desire me” fantasies?

Toolbox
Toolbox
6 years ago

This reminds me of a long, ranty post by an MRA who claimed he always wears sunglasses when out, lest a woman be offended by his gaze. Oh, and he no longer approaches women, weaving well out of the way of them, in case they get snippy and ‘falsely accuse him of rape’.

Smitty
Smitty
6 years ago

Unfortunately, “reasonable person” is generally interpreted as “reasonable man”. Very different if “reasonable person” is interpreted as “reasonable woman”. Of course, MRA’s would foam at this.

Here is a great read: A Law of Her Own: The Reasonable Woman as a Measure of Man

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/law-of-her-own-caroline-forell/1100624374?ean=9780814729076

brooked
brooked
6 years ago

There was a troll a while back who (allegedly) didn’t want to ride alone with a woman in an elevator. He was afraid she would rip her blouse and run out screaming ‘rape!’.

It was pretty amusing, to me at least.

katz
6 years ago

I got 99% of the problems and a bitch is every one.

taitaisanchez
6 years ago

This reminds me of a long, ranty post by an MRA who claimed he always wears sunglasses when out, lest a woman be offended by his gaze. Oh, and he no longer approaches women, weaving well out of the way of them, in case they get snippy and ‘falsely accuse him of rape’.

Isn’t it MORE creepy if the dude’s wearing sunglasses? That just sounds horrifying. Why not just not glare at women on the street?

katz
6 years ago

Isn’t it MORE creepy if the dude’s wearing sunglasses? That just sounds horrifying.

If it’s night, it might just be amusing as he runs into telephone poles, fire hydrants, etc.

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his paranoia level!?

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-czGHAMTB4RU/UPI_vKmkmZI/AAAAAAAAAPA/3uROnsUNdX4/s1600/9000.jpg

Wow! Do you know who only has this level of paranoia? Rapists, abusers and harassers.

Sarah

“I just rolled my eyes so hard I think i may have damaged an optic nerve.”

I rolled my eyes so hard that I can see my brain

Toolbox and brooked

I can’t entirely remember but I saw this man with a poster on the internet and it says something about being scared about women will see him as a rapist because his hair is shaved weird.

http://www.troll.me/2011/08/17/futurama-fry/cant-tell-if-youre-trolling-or-actually-serious/

piratejennie
6 years ago

Aw, katz you just gave me a Corey Hart earworm.

piratejennie
6 years ago

Actually the lyrics are pretty creepy and apropos…

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

“It is harassment if she says so” has some (selective) truth to it. One of the definitions of sexual harassment in the workplace is unwanted romantic/sexual attention. In other words, if you hit on your co-worker, and zie’s into it, it is not sexual harassment. If you hit on your co-worker and zie asks you to stop, that (usually) is not sexual harassment–unless you continue hitting on her. Continued unwanted sexual/romantic attention is sexual harassment.

Also, the harasser will try to minimize it (“I wasn’t harassing her, I was just…”), so yeah, whether the victim feels harassed is more important than whether the perpetrator is willing to admit it was harassment.

Dave Barnes
6 years ago

Redditors do NOT agree. Get your facts straight. You are taking the statements from ONE group out of TENS OF THOUSANDS and claiming they represent the entire spectrum of a single site.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

With gays taking over America, you’ll be accused of homophobia if you don’t flirt with your same sex coworkers! We live in fear now!”

It’s not just that. Now that marriage equality has come to an increasing number of places you will be forced to get gay married even if you’re not gay!

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

This post reminds me that I forgot to fulfill my quote of false rape accusations today. Shit!

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Someone has insulted the good name of Reddit! Send out the angry white boy batsignal!

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

Buttercup, Clamato is all right, but too sweet for my taste. Have you tried clam broth mixed with V-8? Makes a great Caesar cocktail.

The Tom Tomorrow cartoon is spot on. I’m tempted to go to the Daily Kos cartoon page and check out the whinging dudebros who are doubtless complaining even as we speak.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Dave: sorry your cesspit was insulted. Maybe have a think about where you hang out?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Robert, you interest me strangely…I might have to try that combination in a Bloody Mary.

I’d be curious to know what the 1% of social situations are where men don’t need to fear women.

Cliff Pervocracy
Cliff Pervocracy
6 years ago

I got sexually harassed at school a year ago. (The guy licked up my sweat. Ewww.) I went to my instructor and told her very neutrally what had happened, she sent me to HR, I told my story, and a week later they told me he said it didn’t happen so case closed. Just on his word, no further investigation. HR checks off the “dealt with complaint” box, zero consequences for him, zero benefit to me.

I didn’t even really want anything out of this–I just said what happened, I had nothing to gain by getting him fired or whatever–but it was still unsettling how quickly the HR department closed everything up with “he said it didn’t happen, therefore there’s nothing we can do,” as if it’s totally unfathomable that he could lie about something like that.

So if that’s what a dude who licks up students’ sweat has to fear–being briefly inconvenienced before suffering no consequences–I’d say your average guy going out to the supermarket is pretty damn safe.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

I’m not on Reddit myself, but it’s my understanding that you have seek out specific sub groups that aren’t misogynistic shitholes and that all the default ones are terrible.

cloudiah
6 years ago

[Content note: violence] There’s been another shooting at a University. One student has died of his injuries.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Cliff, agh, that’s gross. Hugs if you want them.

It also shows the MRM’s mindset, and how common it is: If he says harassment/sexual assault didn’t happen, it didn’t.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Gods, another day, another multiple shooting in the US.

But no, there’s no problem with having so many guns around, nosirree.

cloudiah, I dropped you an email just before.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Dave Barnes

You are taking the statements from ONE group out of TENS OF THOUSANDS and claiming they represent the entire spectrum of a single site.

I’m from Missouri. Don’t tell me, SHOW me. (Also, for the love of entropy, David got this quote FROM REDDIT. A reddit FIGHTING these chucklefucks. Did you miss that part?)

RE: Cassandrakitty

Someone has insulted the good name of Reddit! Send out the angry white boy batsignal!

NOT ALL REDDITS ARE LIKE THAT!

RE: Cliff

(The guy licked up my sweat. Ewww.)

AAAAAH wtf?!

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

I had a bro with a ponytail sit in front of me at a presentation at a con. It was hot. I was wearing sandals. Something dripped on my bare toe. It was sweat from the bro’s ponytail. :S

Sweat is gross and being sweat on or having someone revel in your sweat is just way too intimate to not be disgusting if it isn’t your partner.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

cloudiah: Just up the hill from SPU is the first place I lived when I moved to Seattle. If the shooter turns out to be some aggrieved asswipe who’s pissed he couldn’t get laid, he should have read the college brochure. I am so pissed about this shooting.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

Dave, no one even said all of Reddit was to blame.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

Cliff, that sucks. Isn’t that battery in MA? I know you said you didn’t even want anything to come of it, and I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m trying to argue otherwise, I’m just agog that HR risked ignoring a crime to cover that guy’s ass. Not surprised, really, just appalled.

@Auggz,

People need to be held responsible for their own actions.

Unless they’re white, of course.

Cliff Pervocracy
Cliff Pervocracy
6 years ago

Emilygoddess – Technically yes. But it’s one of those things where the cost to press charges (in both money and retaliation/ostracism risk) would have been astronomical and the benefit of winning would be negligible. So.

It’s one of those awkward things where I actually don’t want the guy’s head on a pike, I just want someone to acknowledge that this really happened and it really wasn’t okay–but I couldn’t get that, I got “well sorry, we’re not giving you his head on a pike, so you might as well go away.”

Maybe the guy at least got chewed out by his superior? I won’t know. I wasn’t assigned to work that floor again for as long as I was at the school. I didn’t really mind, because it wasn’t a specialty I’m interested and I was glad to not see any more of guy, but it is sort of messed up that they changed my schedule over this.

…Anyway, my point isn’t “poor Cliff,” I’m fine, my point is just that wow, sexual harassment cases are not at all the “accusing is easy and you get to ask for anything you want when you accuse a guy” thing MRAs would like to think they are.

cloudiah
6 years ago

Oh ick, Cliff. You’re right about sexual harassment not being taken seriously in most cases. We’re pretty good where I work, but it’s kind of the exception.

Have a snoring duck:

fruitloopsie
fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Emilygoddess

“People need to be held responsible for their own actions. Unless they’re white, of course”

And men, seriously WHAT ABOUT TEH MENZ!!!

Cloudiah

Giggles at the duck. My dogs snore too, one of them snores so loud that you could hear him in the next room!

Cliff

Only the harassers are afraid of accusers

Shaenon
6 years ago

So they’re not afraid of women hurting them. They’re afraid of women talking about being hurt.

That must be so scary.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

The human male must have seen of you extend her ovipositors and fill the other human male’s husk with eggs.

They’re onto us, Ladies! Back to the mother ship!

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
6 years ago

Moncton NB is still on lockdown.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/moncton-shooting-manhunt-enters-2nd-tense-night-1.2665707

Not much said about the shooter yet, except that he seems to be spending way too much time on the wrong parts of the internet.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
6 years ago

Cliff, I’m sorry, I really wasn’t trying to suggest that you should press charges. I was just trying to imagine HR deciding that an accusation of criminal behavior wasn’t worth looking into. I can’t even.

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