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a voice for men antifeminism antifeminist women are these guys 12 years old? block that metaphor Dean Esmay drama kings evil women FeMRAsplaining gross incompetence homophobia icky lady fluids imaginary oppression misandry misogyny MRA playing the victim reactionary bullshit shit that never happened straw feminists straw futrelle terrorism that's completely wrong

Nuh-uh, YOU Are: Men’s Rights Activists respond to petition calling on the president to classify them as terrorists

Feminists: Always up to something
Feminists: Always up to something

So about a week ago, someone put a petition up on Whitehouse.gov asking the president to classify the Men’s Rights Movement as a terrorist group. The petition, posted in the immediate aftermath of Elliot Rodger ‘s killing spree, seems to be sincerely motivated. But it was a bad idea. The Men’s Rights movement is full of assholes, some of them potentially quite dangerous.  Still, not every MRA is an Elliot Rodger in the making, and this kind of hyperbole doesn’t help those who are trying to expose the true terribleness of the Men’s Rights movement.

After their initial outrage wore off, MRAs decided to treat the petition as a golden opportunity for self-martyrdom. Dean Esmay of A Voice for Men urged fellow MRAs – sorry, MHumanRAs – to sign it themselves, perhaps not realizing that it might prove difficult to convince the world they’re being oppressed by a petition if they’re the ones most actively collecting signatures for it. (Esmay also took a moment to compare me to Bull Connor, which seems a tad odd, to say the least.)

Well, now the MRAs are trying a new tack. Perhaps taking a tip from old school rap feuds and all the “answer records” they generated, or possibly just the childish retort, “nuh-uh, YOU are,” one AVFM commenter named Janet Wilkinson struck back against the evil feminists with a Change.org petition announcing to “The Government” that it was “Time To Class Feminism As a Terrorist Group.”

No, seriously, that was the entirety of her message to “The Government.”

 To: The Government Enoughs enough, Its Time To Class Feminism As a Terrorist Group  Sincerely, [Your name]
You’ll note that she didn’t even specify which country’s government she was talking about. She claimed to come from “Spain, United States,” so we’re just going to assume she meant the US. And maybe also Spain. Unless “Spain” is the name of a city in Alabama, or something, but somehow we doubt it.

She illustrated her petition with a Completely Authentic Documentary Photo of Violent Feminazi Misandering That’s Totally Not a Stock Photo or Anything No its Real MISANDRY IS DEATH.

This is what a feminist looks like?
This is what a feminist looks like?

But if the picture in itself wasn’t enough to win you over, she offered this powerful case against the evils of feminism. I’ve highlighted some of the most powerfullest arguments.

      Petitioning The Government  Its Time To Class Feminism As a Terrorist Group          Janet Wilkinson          Petition by          Janet Wilkinson          Spain, United States  Over the years feminism has constantly attacked men and women for choosing to live their lives the way they want to. These actions have now progressed to physical violence where we have seen feminists violently attack men who are concerned about mens issues.Repeated attacks in Canada and elseware have left many injured and maimed. Another feminist cell activated recently and is planning on attacking another talk for men in the US. Its time we stopped the violence, its time we put a stop to the hatred feminists are constantly generating. Its time we stopped womens studied courses from brainwashing women into thinking they are victims. Its time these misandric loonatics are stopped.

Huh. So feminists are maiming Canadians now? Weird. I mean, given that MRAs bring about sixty gazillion cameras to every protest they attend (“Always Be Recording”) it seems strange that we haven’t seen any photographic evidence of these maimings or even of the injuries themselves. But, what the heck, I ‘ll totally take the word of some random AVFM commenter who can’t spell the word “lunatics.” I guess Canada truly is a land of danger for men and boys.

And what’s this about “a new cell activating” to “attack” some talk by some antifeminist?

I really need to start going to more of the meetings. I’m always missing the fuuuuum stuff like this.

Also, the correct collective noun for feminists isn’t “cell.” It’s “coven.” A “school of fish,” a “murder of crows,” a “coven of feminists.”

But as always, it’s in the comments, filled with contributions from assorted AVFMers, that the MRAs really shine.

Here are some of my favorites, starting with the most popular comment in the thread. That’s MOST popular, NOT least. Keep that in mind while reading it. More people liked this comment than liked any other comment.

 Jack Troughton TORONTO, CANADA      4 days ago     Liked 11  I cannot sign fast enough a petition which sees through the institutionalized discrimination of this long-overdone movement, by now a mere coagulation of entitled prejudice and bitterness from a self-created mentality of victimhood, thrashing in confusion without any actual oppression or hardship against which to justify itself. Stop this sexism.

So …  feminism is a long-overdone coagulation of confused thrashing bitterness and prejudice? As the New Yorker likes to say: Block that metaphor!

Moving down the list, we see this comment, conclusively proving that feminism is unnecessary because prejudice is a thing of the past:

 Dene Rumsby STOWMARKET, UNITED KINGDOM      1 day ago     Liked 1  Feminism once had valid reasons for fighting for women's rights and equality but with nothing legitimate left to complain about has turned into an evil disingenuous movement of half truths, misandry and lies. Time for people who really believe in equal human rights to leave this stinking cesspit to the lesbians and man-hatersApparently this Canadian believes that the misandering is even worse in the United States than it is in the Feminazi Gynocratic Republic of Canada.

 Brandon Paul WEYBURN, CANADA      4 days ago     Liked 1  I may not live in America where the largest feminist acts are but it still makes me mad to know a guy can't live his day to day life without some power crazy woman screaming at him for saying hello to her.

Meanwhile, the somewhat implausibly named “Joe Joejoe” reported that he’s having  similar problems over in jolly old England

 Joe Joejoe DERBY, UNITED KINGDOM      4 days ago     Liked 1  Because Feminists bully me and tell me I'm a horrible human and a rapist for finding girls attractive

But this comment takes the cake. It takes the cake, eats it, and has two more cakes.

 Vasco Patricio COIMBRA, PORTUGAL      3 days ago     Liked 1  Women need to stop riding their high horse of menstruation, cognitive dissonance and revisionist history.

I can’t top that, so I’m not even going to try. Good night everybody! I’m here all week! Don’t try the veal.

 

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Unimaginative
10 years ago

Yeah, I don’t think “Janet Wilkinson” from Spain, USA is literate enough to make a pun like that.

Auntie Alias
Auntie Alias
10 years ago

Goofy kitty. 🙂

So feminists are maiming Canadians now?

Have you forgotten that feminists staged the assault on Danielle D’Etremont? Her tooth was maimed.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

High horse of menstruation, cognitive dissonance, and revisionist history

OH MY GOD IT’S STEELE. He topped his opulent Aryan horse metaphor! *doffs hat out of respect for the late and the not-great*

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

I cannot sign fast enough a petition which sees through the institutionalized discrimination of this long-overdone movement, by now a mere coagulation of blah blah blah interminable run-on word salad will I never stop talking no my eight syllable words ring with clarion truth amidst the benighted rabble

Somehow, I’m not getting a sense of haste with the petition-signing here.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Well, that was tonight’s special at the All-You-Can-Eat HTML Buffet.

kittehserf
10 years ago

LBT – we’ve been taken back in time! First Pell doing the longest socking session he’s managed in ages, now Steele is writing petitions!

:O

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
10 years ago

Also, the correct collective noun for feminists isn’t “cell.” It’s “coven.” A “school of fish,” a “murder of crows,” a “coven of feminists.”

Alas, too easy. There’s a shrewdness of apes, a bellowing of bullfinches, a scold of jays, a mob of kangaroos, an unkindness of ravens, a scream of swifts – you’re not even TRYING!

Mind you, there’s a knob of wildfowl or a pitying of turtle doves if we’re looking at collectives for MRAs.

kittehserf
10 years ago

I’m crushed we can’t be a clowder of feminists, like a clowder of cats.

cloudiah
10 years ago

Ahem… The opulent aryan horse wasn’t Steele. See my linky up above.

cloudiah
10 years ago

And obviously it should be a spermjacking of feminists.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Oh strewth, I’d forgotten IR. Did he go to the same school of fancy writing for menz oppressed by misandrist teachers, d’you think?

magnesium
magnesium
10 years ago

Is “Joe Joejoe” actually short for “Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo”?

Ally S
10 years ago

“half-truths, misandry, and lies”

This sounds like a good part of a man-hating feminist ice cream flavor:

“Man-hater’s Delightl: strawberry ice cream with a delicious mix of half-truths, misandry, and lies.”

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
10 years ago

Don’t ask me for suggestions – I’m having enough problems getting “a nitpick of catalogers” officially accepted by the ALA…

sparky
sparky
10 years ago

Ally S

“Man-hater’s Delightl: strawberry ice cream with a delicious mix of half-truths, misandry, and lies.”

Mmmm…strawberry and misandry ice cream….

kittehserf
10 years ago

Half-truths, misandry and lies, oh my!

Phoenician in a time of Romans
Phoenician in a time of Romans
10 years ago

High horse of menstruation

She comes down from Crimson Mountain
On the Internet she rides
On a pony she named Feminism
With a flamethrower by her side
On a cold man-hating night…

Oh, she’s coming for me, I know…

(http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/bandits/wildfire.htm for you youngsters)

weirwoodtreehugger
10 years ago

Why would the White House pay attention to a petition signed by a bunch of people that aren’t Americans? They really are damn stupid.

We really should loons to the amusement park menagerie no that we’re “loonatics.” Plus loons are my state bird.

redpoppy
redpoppy
10 years ago

Never in all my years have I seen a group of people act like such horrid, petulant, children. I would laugh more if their ideology wasn’t so dangerous. Ick.

Greetings. I am first time poster, very long time lurker. Don’t know why I never decided to post sooner.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

RE: Kittehs

LBT – we’ve been taken back in time!

Tom Martin better not show up again, that’s all I have to say.

And didn’t Pheonicians make a colossal ass of themself not that long ago? My memory is giving me trouble.

chronic lurker
chronic lurker
10 years ago

We’re a “coven?” 😀 I didn’t know that.
When I hear “coven” I usually think “a coven of witches.” Now I’m enjoying the mental image of a secret coven of feminists. We meet under the full moon to brewing potions and casting spells on our enemies (the curse of warty and the curse of the missing sock would be a diabolical combination.) We can all have matching hats, and of course we all love cats. It makes me happy.

High horse of menstruation?! xD I get cramps, but I wont let them get me down. I’m on my high horse of menstruation! 😀

Argenti Aertheri
10 years ago

LBT — there have been worse. At least Tom Baldy Martin goes full meltdown instantly if you call him that.

F’ex, Dio… *runs* I better not have summoned him…

chronic lurker
chronic lurker
10 years ago

Sorry, Curse of the warty feet. Curse my failure to proof read and the lack of an edit button!

katz
10 years ago

Also, this is just screaming out for a new Pierre cartoon. Just saying.

I was envisioning just four really really long legs and then a drop of blood falling down like drool in a monster movie, and then I realized that was gross rather than funny.

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
10 years ago

@auggziliary, my brain scrambled for a minute and I thought the end of your link read “loose-puffins-moose.”

And that got me wondering about what “loose puffins” would be like. Do they hang out with the Welcome Package lady penguins? Do they wear Spanx, too?